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Calling all Raggedies - the THIRD Ragged Bits thread. Childbirth injuries, sphincter problems, fistulae... all welcome.

969 replies

Jacksmania · 26/10/2012 19:08

First thread here, May 2008 to June 2009.

Second thread here, June 2009 to Oct 2012.

Welcome everyone with ragged bits due to childbirth. We're sorry you had to find us, but we promise to hold your hand and listen.

There is no TMI here and nothing is too gross, too embarrassing or too horrible.

All welcome.

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cardamomginger · 10/03/2013 21:58

Yup - always good to find a bright side! Or, as a therapist friend of mine once said, every silver lining has a ruddy great big great cloud wrapped around it...
Good luck XX

Jacksmania · 11/03/2013 04:33

Thanks Flowers
Will be asking for all kinds of limbs to hold once I get my surgery date.

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EauRouge · 11/03/2013 08:09

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, Jacks. It must be nerve-wracking getting something done under LA. I hope you're going to reward yourself with something nice!

I've got my 6 week fanjo follow-up this afternoon. Actually more nervous about leaving the DDs at a friend's house, I have visions of coming back to total carnage Grin

cardamomginger · 11/03/2013 09:41

Good luck eau. Mainly with the appointment, but also with the DCs!

EauRouge · 11/03/2013 10:11

Argh, I felt bad even asking but DH got sent on a business trip so it was that or cancel the appointment. She's got 2 DCs of her own so she'll be watching a 1, 2, 3 and 4 yo. I should probably make her a cake...

Jacksmania · 11/03/2013 13:53

Did someone say cake??

Oh, sorry, cake for your friend Blush.
Hmm, well, if your fanjo is up for standing that long, that would be nice. Standing, for me, was the worst thing after fanjo ops.

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Jacksmania · 11/03/2013 13:54

Oops, hit post too soon.
Good luck with appointment and DCs!

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EauRouge · 11/03/2013 14:02

I am defo going to make her cake, the DDs are both in shitty moods today Blush

Most days I can stand fine but sometimes I do get a weird sort of heavy pain, I wonder if it's a hormonal thing. My pelvic floor is fine so it's not that.

Jacksmania · 11/03/2013 14:36

That's exactly it. A sort of dragging heavy ache/ pain in the crotch. I get it when I have my period (not too many more of those! :o).
Standing is worst during period. Ugh.

Good luck!!!

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cravingcake · 11/03/2013 16:06

Thank you all for the hand holding, and I extend my hands back for those of you who also need it.

I've seen another 2 gynae's today and it was ok well as ok as being poked and proded by complete strangers can be They have said I do have a minor prolapse but they wouldn't offer surgery for me at the moment as I'm too young (early 30's) and it would make everything tighter, and therefore probably more painful. They also said that perennial refashion or Fentons could be considered but again they wouldn't recommend it for me at this stage as they think it wouldn't help as most of my pain is along the scar tissue so they would just be changing the scar tissue. They've suggested using vaginal dilators to help 'stretch' the area and said about 6 months use would normally see a big difference. So long term I don't know what can really be done and I just feel at the moment I am just going to have to live with the discomfort but am trying not to think about it.

So long story short is I'm being booked in for skin tag removal (local anaesthetic) as that will immediately help. We want another child so have decided to try for this and then afterwards can look at what state the prolapse and my fanjo is in and see what can be done then.

Oh, and if there's any cake floating about I'd LOVE some Smile

Jacksmania · 11/03/2013 16:42

Did somebody say cake??

Or cake?

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cravingcake · 11/03/2013 17:42

Jacks, they both look really good! I do want cake now but will have to wait until tomorrow when I can get to the shop to get eggs to actually make one.... and strawberries, and cream, and chocolate too Grin

Coffee1Sugar · 11/03/2013 18:09

Hi all, sorry for the quick "me" post but just wanted to share my excitement. After two CBT sessions regarding fear of sex following 3a tear nearly 3 years ago, my bf has entered me and I tolerated about 4 minutes! Still bloody tight and painful but yay!

cravingcake · 11/03/2013 18:15

Hi Coffee, did you post about this as a different name? If so then I think I posted on that thread and just want to say well done! You deserve cake too (I'll get baking tomorrow)

Coffee1Sugar · 11/03/2013 18:16

Oo yeh sorry previous name insecure24. Whoops! Thanks Grin

Belsize77 · 11/03/2013 18:45

Hello ladies. I have never posted on here but have lurked on all your threads...

I wondered if based on your experiences anyone could give me some advice. Sorry for all the details! After the birth of my first child with forceps 5 years ago I ended up with a bladder and bowel prolapse. I also have a rectal prolapse. After the birth I had no sensation at all in my pelvic floor for about 8 months and then started physio which did help a bit, the prolapse only appeared around then or maybe that's only when I could feel them as I had nerve damage apparently from the forceps. I also had a huge episiotomy and 2nd degree tear that would not heal and became infected. I was really upset by all this and couldnt have exams or any sort of contact until the physio began as the pain had eased off a bit. Strangely this scar aspect was much improved by my second birth.

As a result of all this I had a pessary in throughout my second pregnancy to hold things up (and to prevent splinting) and I have another in now as I am pregnant again with what will be our last child. I have seen one consultant at 10 months after DC1 and she said to have a CS. My consultant at UCH afterwards said no - natural birth is better as I'll need to have surgery to fix all this in the end and the damage is already done so there is nothing to preserve. I have only had mild continence issues, although I do have bowel problems, but this does does seem to drive their thinking. On paper they consider my first birth a success - it was Cardamom's recent thoughts that made me finally post.

My actual question is has anyone seen a good surgeon who would talk to me in pregnancy just so I know how many surgeries I am looking at and when is the best time to have them. Until now, as I wouldn't commit to completing my family, I have not seen anyone specific. I am happy to go private to get an answer. I am in London.

Coffee1Sugar · 11/03/2013 19:31

I recommend Andrew Pooley Gynae surgeon based at Kingston, SW London but works privately too. He's wonderful and put all my bits back in the right place with nothing but kindness, understanding, respect and professionalism.

cardamomginger · 11/03/2013 19:37

Hi Belsize Yes. Vik Khullar at the Lindo Wing and at Harley Street. He is wonderful. He is an obstetrician and pelvic floor gynae, so will be able to advise fully about all aspects. When you say that you have bowel issues now, do you mean that you have experienced faecal incontinence? If so, I am extremely surprised that anyone is suggesting VB. If you want Vik's contact details, PM me.
Coffee - woo hoo!!!!

Belsize77 · 11/03/2013 20:25

Thanks Cardamom and Coffee. Both sound good and were on my short list, it's very helpful to hear of personal experiences. One of the male consultants I saw had an awful bedside manner and it does make such a difference when you are in a very exposed position (quite literally).

Cardamom, I don't have faecal incontinence now although I did briefly after the offending birth. My problem in pregnancy is the total inability to go to the loo without splinting on my scar. The rest of the time my rectal prolapse as compared to my rectocele comes an inch out not just when straining but when tired or carrying nothing heavier than a bag of shopping. Acording to UCH those kind of symptoms do not merit a CS. As I don't know of anyone with anything similar and can't see anything in the online medical literature I just don't know if perhaps it is not as bad as it seems to me.

I really hope that this is not TMI but if not here then where...I am getting all rather depressed by it as I feel old before my time. Sorry to complain when I know others are much worse, but the smug childbirth threads have a lot to answer for.

EauRouge · 11/03/2013 20:41

There's no TMI here! Tell us whatever you need to get off your chest :) I hope you manage to find someone who you get on with that can help you.

Coffee/insecure, that's fantastic news! So pleased for you.

Well, I had my 6 week follow up and everything is great! The surgeon said it had healed beautifully and that you could hardly tell I'd even had children. He was obviously pretty pleased with himself, he said 'maybe I should be a plastic surgeon' Grin

I'm not that bothered what it looks like though, as long as it works! I'm going to take myself off to the practice nurse in the morning to sort out some contraception. And then maybe I can get back to normal!!

Thank you everyone for the hand-holding over the last couple of months. Thanks Thanks

cardamomginger · 11/03/2013 21:27

Belsize - no such thing as TMI here! Hearing that someone says that your injuries and symptoms do not 'merit' CS really does not sit well with me. I'd be interested to know what they think IS severe enough to 'merit' CS. (And by the way a prolapse that is external to your body IS serious.) Rather than looking at this way, I think it is more helpful to look at what is to be gained by having ELCS this time, and whether there could be any disadvantages to having ELCS in terms of future repair. When it was still on the cards that I might have a second child, my surgeon said that were I to have said child prior to repair surgery it would make no real difference to the surgery whether I had an ELCS. What do you want? Do you want to have another VB or do you prefer ELCS? I'll put my cards on the table here - I'm firmly in the pro-ELCS camp (although I would always support someone who wanted VB). It's all very well to say that VB won't make things worse for you. A textbook, problem free VB may not. But another forceps delivery that involves another episiotomy, or an instrument-free birth where your baby decides to have his/her hand up by their head and has long finger nails, and you could be looking at more damage. The last thing you want is more scar tissue, or heaven forbid a 3rd or 4th degree tear. As I say, I'm biased.
I think that in order to make a fully informed decision about what it best for you, you need to discuss things with a surgeon who is at least open to ELCS prior to repair surgery. Or even one who comes down in favour of it. XX

Eau - that's great!! Dare I ask how it went with the DCs.....????

EauRouge · 11/03/2013 21:52

Oh, they were fine, I was gone for less than half an hour in the end. I let them have a nap in the afternoon and that eased their foul moods a bit. My friend even offered to look after them again!

WhodveThought · 11/03/2013 23:05

I need to vent.

I had a battery of tests done yesterday which I found very upsetting. I was in hospital seeing the THIRD specialist about fecal incontinence. They just refer me on and on and on and I have more and more invasive tests that don't provide any answers.

I have to have surgery for a rectocele and rectal prolapse, but these don't appear to be the problems that are causing my incontinence. They don't know what's causing it. Everyone is very nice but I am now part of a research study, and yesterday all my notes were sent off to a board of colorectal surgeons in the hope that one of them might come up with an answer.

The tests yesterday showed damage to the right branch of my pudendal nerve, with the specialist saying the damage was done right up around my spine. Fuck.

I spent 6 hours yesterday in tears, my eyes were almost swollen shut but the evening. I am feeling old and hopeless and completely defeated by this two-year long process that is yet to provide me with any answers or relief.

Thanks for listening.

cardamomginger · 11/03/2013 23:37

HUGE hugs and hand holding XXXXXXXX

Jacksmania · 12/03/2013 04:13

:(
I wish I could do more than just offer another hand to hold. :(

Flowersflowers]flowers]flowers]flowers]

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