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Original poster

how the heck do I support DH tomorrow if the consultant tells him he has cancer?

689 replies

MrsShrek3 · 23/07/2012 22:57

sigh. just that. DH has Big lump in neck. Various doctors, registrars and pathologists looking very worried and saying he "should have been told more". Appointment with his own consultant tomorrow afternoon. Worried sick, but wtf do I do to help him? He doesn't want me to go with him, he;d rather I keep the children with me.

OP posts:
trumpton · 26/07/2012 23:50

Oh bless you . Have a good weekend , sending you all my good wishes .

Thumbwitch · 27/07/2012 01:37

Hope you do have a lovely chilled weekend - take your minds off things. xxx

Northernlurker · 27/07/2012 08:02

THat sounds lovely. Have a great weekend.

lisad123 · 27/07/2012 08:47

That's a great idea. Take local doctors number and that of his consultant just in case.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 27/07/2012 08:48

What a great idea. Have a lovely weekend.

Fillybuster · 27/07/2012 12:04

Mrs Shrek, I've been thinking of you all week - so pleased you're going to get away for some fresh air and a change of scenery this weekend. I guess there's going to be some waiting until you get the biopsy result, and the not-knowing can be the hardest bit, so make sure that you take time to look after yourself, as well as everyone else around you. Sending you lots of love x

PacificDogwood · 27/07/2012 21:54

A weekend away sounds like just the ticket.

Hope you have a lovely time together.
It's been said on another heartbreaking but uplifting thread on here 'not to borrow problems from tomorrow'. I think that is a very wise statement - if only it were easy to follow, but try to deal with today's problems today and try to spend too much nervous energy on what may or may not be tomorrow.

I am raising a Wine to you and MrShrek.

FutTheShuckUp · 27/07/2012 22:51

Have a lovely weekend- you deserve it so much

Original poster
MrsShrek3 · 28/07/2012 09:39

Just checking in - so many wise words Smile

OP posts:
RedRosie · 28/07/2012 10:34

MrsShrek3 - my DH has a type of NHL (Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma).

Once you have all the information and a diagnosis (this can be complex with lymphomas and was quite a long process for us) if I can help at all, PM me.

SirBoobAlot · 28/07/2012 10:51

Just read this, thinking of you all MrsS. Have a lovely weekend away, sounds like exactly what you need.

Original poster
MrsShrek3 · 30/07/2012 08:40

Just had a night of my brain doing overtime and waking up every few minutes with that horrible sickly feeling of dread. Sigh. Home to reality this evening then.

OP posts:
LizaTarbucksAuntie · 30/07/2012 08:55

:( So sorry to hear your news - just another positive story really, they can do amazing things now and as you're hopefully seeing it's not the same as it used to be.

FIL was diagnosed about 18 months ago. and we got to the point of hearing it he had a matter of weeks to live. Chemo and Radiotherapy did their job though and he's coping. It's a long tough road, our best advice would be, don't think to far ahead, make sure you have a space to unload and make all the use you can of Macmillan who are bloody fabulous.

Thinking of you and saying a prayer.

PacificDogwood · 30/07/2012 23:33

I hope you had a restful weekend, MrsShrek.
You and MrShrek are still in limbo, between diagnosis and having a defined plan. A really, really hard time.
Try your best to not thingk too far ahead if you can help it.

I came across this: How to tell children

Maybe it is of some help to you?

StopEatingThatMud · 30/07/2012 23:55

Hope you have a good week MrsShrek.

I'm a bit useless on the advice front but just found your thread and wanted to send some positivity your way, you sound like a lovely little family :)

Original poster
MrsShrek3 · 31/07/2012 07:55

His CT scan today. Bit like d-day or something. I think I hate Tuesdays.

OP posts:
Borntobeamum · 31/07/2012 10:06

Hope you were able to enjoy your weekend.
I sincerely wish your DH all the best for today.
Hugs to you too x x

Original poster
MrsShrek3 · 31/07/2012 11:35

The weekend was lovely, thaks. Nice days out and lots of family photos. like being in a nice safe bubble. But now back to the scary stuff.

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 31/07/2012 12:02

Lots of handholding for you today, MrsShrek. And (((hugs))) and good vibes for a best-possible outcome under the circs.
When do you get the results of the biopsy, or do they wait until they have the scan as well before discussing it all with you?

Glad you had a lovely weekend. xx

mayaswell · 31/07/2012 12:15

All the best mrsshrek, to you and your family x

c4rnsi1lk · 31/07/2012 12:40

Thinking of you today mrs shrek x

Original poster
MrsShrek3 · 31/07/2012 13:56

Thank you lovelies Smile
I'm just waiting for him to have the CT now. Apparently we get the results and treatment plan when he's had all the tests and the results are in. The haematology appointment has just turned up - in a WEEK Shock forgive if I sound rude but had really thought that would be this week. It was booked the same time as the biopsy and CT scan. Another whole week delay knowing nothing more. Aibu? (and please be honest)

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 31/07/2012 14:08

Depends on who they need for the haematology appt, and what it involves - if it's a needle aspiration biopsy they may need the consultant for that; and depending on the size of the hospital, they may only have one who might just be on holiday. Our hospital only had 2, and it was quite a big hospital - they both had school age children so summer holidays had to be staggered between them so that the dept was covered all the time (and if it wasn't possible then a locum was brought in).
So - YANBU to be frustrated but it might be beyond their control, iyswim, what with all the budget cuts and so on.

Original poster
MrsShrek3 · 31/07/2012 14:11

Thumb, you're fast Grin thank you. Calm wise words as always. Have a cyberhug Smile

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 31/07/2012 14:15

You too lovely :).
The other thing is that the haematology consultant is likely to be the one your DH is under - so it may be that that appt is after all the others to allow the results of everything to be collated (seeing as how I've just re-read your previous post and seen you have a different appt for the biopsy) - so I'll revise my previous info and say that it's likely the haematologist will be the one giving you all the results and the treatment plan. Not 100% definite, but again I know that the haematology consultants in my hospital always dealt with these patients.