how the heck do I support DH tomorrow if the consultant tells him he has cancer?

[MrsShrek3]

sigh. just that. DH has Big lump in neck. Various doctors, registrars and pathologists looking very worried and saying he "should have been told more". Appointment with his own consultant tomorrow afternoon. Worried sick, but wtf do I do to help him? He doesn't want me to go with him, he;d rather I keep the children with me.

Thank you Puffin x

MrsShrek3

Oh mrs shrek I'm sending positive thoughts your way

Oh, what a horrible worry MrsShrek.
Have you had the info from the x-ray yet?

Thank you
Chest x ray was ok and bloods showing he's not neutropenic
They're still keeping him for now as a few other symptoms to deal with but better than I anticipated
Thank you for hand holding - angels

It sort of hit me like a truck how seriously ill he is. I'd rather not think about it the rest of the time tbh. Saw a chart on "staging" lymphoma and it was there in front of me that he's got the most serious aggressive form

mrsshrek i am so sorry what an awful worry for you. totally understandable that we don't think about the seriousness of it most of the time, would do our heads in otherwise. he is in the best place and the nhs really pulls all the stops out when it has to.

and (for my type of lymphoma anyway) don't forget the staging is still only an indicator of how things might go, not set in stone. i really hope you can get through this tough bit. loads of virtual hugs to you both

Seeing things like that is sooo scary. :(
But that sounds like very good news about the bloods and X-ray - sounds like he'll be back on the chemo very soon and those nasty little cancer cells will be history. Is he beginning to feel a bit better now?
Most people encounter setbacks during their treatment - keep remembering that if you can. The chemo will work.

Mrs Shrek - you poor thing. We were there during our last cycle when we were on holiday and it is terrifying. I am so glad he's not neutropenic; Mr Daisy wasn't either but it is so scary.

I haven't read the whole thread, and this may have been already suggested, but I wanted to mention a place I worked a few years ago, free to attend, that supports people with cancer and people who look after them.

www.pennybrohncancercare.org/what-is-the-bristol-approach
Just as somewhere to get away and get support, advice, rest and help with things like trouble sleeping, treatment side-effects, etc.
I hope it might help, and sorry that you and your close ones are all going through this. It sounds like such a roller-coaster.

Sorry, proper link:
www.pennybrohncancercare.org/what-is-the-bristol-approach

thank you :)
@ haven't read the whole thread... would take weeks!

stase that link looks wonderful, thank you

Sorry to read dh has been an inpatient this week but it sounds like he's going in the right direction and I hope you get him home soon. I think you're both doing brilliantly tbh. Just keep going.

How's Mr Shrek doing?

Hosp yesterday, he's been in bed all day today. Really not doing well this time round. Day 7 today. Chemo centre are spot on, rang us first thing this morning to check up and follow up from yesterday.
Hope mr daisy is ok

good on the cancer centre - i wish mine was as good, they are great when we are there but there is no follow up unless initiated by me. in fact i 'm going to find out if i can have a macmillan nurse at home (to visit me sometimes when i am down). sorry mrshrek is crook still, it is crap try not to stress, it is normal i think (well is for me)

It does seem to be normal - we're having good times and utterly crap ones too. We're being seen at 2 cancer centres, one locally and one at the Big Hospital - they're both being good so far but the Big Hospital one is outstanding. They think before they speak, and even do what they say they're going to.

I hope Mr Shrek begins to pick up towards the end of the week - this week is the worst of the three I think. I'm hoping so, anyway.

Thanks daisy. He's improved today, got out of bed before lunch n' everythin!

So sorry to hear he had a bad week, MrsS - and sorry I wasn't around for general support (been away having a baby but home now). Glad he's improving slightly now!

Daisy - not wanting to rain on MrDaisy's parade but really do tell him to allow himself to be tired - his body is being punished by the drugs enough, he does need to allow himself to rest, not push himself too hard. It's great to do what he can when he can and stay positive, but he really must accept when he's tired as well and not try to push through it.

Glad things are going well, Over - hope you get your Macmillan nurse.

Congrats on the blue baby Thumb
We all need something to smile about!

Things are improving here at last until next week when it's chemo again we are even hoping to go for a (child free) meal out on Friday evening...
I wanna get off this rollercoaster now, as does DH. I think we're going to find the second half of this treatment plan even tougher than it's been so far. We knew it would get much worse before things got better, but blimey!!
How's everyone doing?

Glad things are going a bit better for you this week, MrsS. Hope the meal out on Friday goes well! :)

Am sending you a big hug Mrs Shrek.
Keep strong xxx

Thank you