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Original poster

Terminations - how long?

77 replies

answersplease · 06/03/2006 07:10

I'm currently between 5-7 weeks pregnant and I have made the decision to terminate the pregnancy. I don't want this to get into a debate over that. It is the right choice for me and my family in the circumstances. Does anyone know how long the wait will be once I've been to see my gp?

OP posts:
ananswerhere · 06/03/2006 09:27

i had a termination for reasons that are also my own, i went to the local family planning clinic at the hospital as i think its quicker.
you will need to be seen by two doctors, at the FP clinic they were very kind and made an appointment for another clinic where i saw second dr, an appointment was then made for the following week for termination.
overall it took abot 3 weeks, but i chose to have an operation, you need to be at least 8 weeks for this.
there are tablets you can be given in early
pregnacy, you take them over a couple of days i think, and then you miscarry.
for myself i chose the operation as i thought it would be easier for myself.
at the clinic on the day everyone was so kind and helpful, and never made me feel bad at all.
its a very quick procedure, and afterwards was just like a heavy period.

i too feel that i made the right decision for my family, i would have probably died if i had carried on with the pregnancy, and had a baby of just 3 months, but i still have alot of days where i think" what if?"
i hope all goes well for you, please be sure of your decision. and most of all, good luck and be happy.
HTH.xx

Original poster
answersplease · 06/03/2006 09:49

Thanks so much for sharing your story with me. I'm not sure how pregnant I am and if I can avoid surgical procedure I would prefer to. My hospital does not have a family planning clinic so I'll start with my gp and go from there. I hope the wait isn't too long. Now I've made my decision I'd like it to be over with as, in my mind, making the decision is the hardest part.

OP posts:
anotheranswer · 06/03/2006 10:15

i recently had a termination at 8 weeks, a desicion which i did not not need to debate either.

You are entitled under the NHS, to a termination within 2 weeks of seeing your GP. you need to be under 9 wks for a medical(tablets), and over 8wks for a surgical (operation).

Originally I opted for a medical to avoid surgery, but as the time grew closer I couldn't bear the thought of the procedure, due to the nature of it and the time it takes,(two visits to hospital). I changed my mind and opted for the surgical. I knew nothing about it and it was all over in an hour. The nursing staff were wonderful and really looked after me. it is extremely professional and confidential, on a general day surgery ward.

i wish you all the best, take care,

PS if you need someone to talk afterwards you can contact me xx

Original poster
answersplease · 06/03/2006 11:40

Thanks for the information. As both of you have said that the surgical was better I may lean more towards that. I'd rather it was done without repeated hospital visits. Did you take time off work after the procedure? I don't want to tell anyone, obviously, so sick time off work isn't ideal.

I do feel I'm making the right choice and, as I said, I think the getting to the decision was the hard part. Many tears but I know this is what I need to do.

OP posts:
4blue1pink · 06/03/2006 11:44

I had a missed miscarriage and opted for medical ( tablet) i thought it was the easy option (easier as neither is)but would recommend you go for surgery... at least when its over its over whereas medical way took days and i found it painful and distressing.

Good luck whatever you choose and keep smiling x

sympathies · 06/03/2006 11:45

Big hugs to you and good luck in a difficult situation!

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 06/03/2006 11:47

qith regards to work, i had the day of my surgery off (a friday) and was back at work on the monday.

cod · 06/03/2006 11:48

uh oh

Original poster
answersplease · 06/03/2006 11:52

Not sure what your comment relates to, cod. Thanks for the info re work JARM.

OP posts:
IFeelForYou · 06/03/2006 11:58

Hi Answersplease

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I was in a similar scenario not too long ago. I went to my GP and asked for a termination when I was 5 weeks (or maybe even less). I had to wait until 9 weeks before I was able to see the consultant, and had the termination two days later.

If only I had known how long the wait would be I would've begged, borrowed or stolen to have gone private straight away. Those 5 weeks of waiting were truly awful. Having said this, I am sure waiting times vary depending on which area you are in - you may well not have to wait as long as I did.

Good luck x

cod · 06/03/2006 12:00

oh sorry no not to anythign

wondere id jbam had blown her cover

thats all wa alerting her to it

Marina · 06/03/2006 12:04

answersplease, is not telling work the truth about what is keeping you off for a couple of days an option? Good luck.

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 06/03/2006 12:07

i dont need to cover up - and that was the first post cod - im totally open and honest about my abortion.

cod · 06/03/2006 12:08

sorry
not meanign you shoudl
( piles OUT beofe offends)

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 06/03/2006 12:09

Dont worry Cod.... its not a problem x

VeniVidiVickiQV · 06/03/2006 12:12

Cod, i have some mint shoes should you require them.

Agree with Marina's suggestion. Or along a similar line, and im not an advocate of fibs normally but you could ring on the day and say you are m/c.

The reason i suggest that is that if you dont want to say you are having a termination thats fine but you will need some time to adjust and get over the g/a etc.

Also because your hormones adjust afterwards and can make you a bit tearful etc even if you have no regrets (same thing as baby blues).

bubblerock · 06/03/2006 12:14

JRM - It sounded like you were adding something to a previous post, I thought it was a mistake as well Smile

I used to work at FPC and the waiting time with ours for the initial appointment varied but usually it was only about a week. Best of luck answersplease xx

IFeelForYou · 06/03/2006 12:16

My GP was sympathetic about the work situation and gave me a sicknote saying I was suffering from a "post-operative infection". I certainly wouldn't have wanted to tell my employer why I was off.

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 06/03/2006 12:19

sorry... my lack of awakeness!

I had the surgical route.... would do it again tomorrow if i had to. Went in at 10am was home by 6pm (surgery was at 4pm)

Felt weak and dizzy for the first 24hrs but after that I was fine.

I was 10 weeks by the time i had the surgery, I had found out at 5 weeks, but had a 1 week holiday in teneriffe booked, so went to tenerife and had it when i got back.

Original poster
answersplease · 06/03/2006 12:32

Telling my employer is really not an option. My manager is not known for her discretion and is quite judgmental in the first place. I haven't even told them I'm pregnant and have no desire to do so. I'll fib about something perhaps but don't know what I can invent.

JARM, I hope one day I can be as up front about this but for now I didn't want to be judged.

OP posts:
IFeelForYou · 06/03/2006 12:37

AP, I just told my employer that I had to go into hospital for a "minor procedure". If you don't give details they assume it's "women's problems" of some sort. You aren't obliged to tell them.

WideWebWitch · 06/03/2006 12:37

answersplease, is there any way you can pay and go privately? It will be all over within a week if you can. I agree, the surgical route is the least unpleasant. Good luck.

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 06/03/2006 12:40

I am only up front and open and honest about it because it was now 5 years ago and I have moved on considerably. It can be emotional at times, but I dont dwell on it, as I wouldnt be where I am today if I had proceeded with the pregnancy.

If you need to talk, mail me.... [email protected]

Original poster
answersplease · 06/03/2006 12:40

WWW if I could afford to go private I would. I am dreading the long drawn out process of the NHS but I don't have any choice.

OP posts:
slug · 06/03/2006 12:57

Just a word of warning, my gp refused me a termination based on religious grounds, his not mine. I was forced to go private and to find a new gp.