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Original poster

Terminations - how long?

77 replies

answersplease · 06/03/2006 07:10

I'm currently between 5-7 weeks pregnant and I have made the decision to terminate the pregnancy. I don't want this to get into a debate over that. It is the right choice for me and my family in the circumstances. Does anyone know how long the wait will be once I've been to see my gp?

OP posts:

crazydazy · 06/03/2006 22:04

We decided that a termination was the right thing to do for our family. I do still remember though when it would have been due, how old it would have been but I knew then and I know now that I made the right decision for all of us.

Original poster

answersplease · 06/03/2006 22:07

I'm sure when October comes I'll think about what might have been but I know this is the right decision for me. I haven't gone into the circumstances surrounding this with the entire internet here - will I get many questions about why I'm doing it from the gp?

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crazydazy · 06/03/2006 22:09

No I don't think so, I did think that but I saw a female GP and she was also the GP for my baby and she totally accepted the reason I gave her and booked me in. I had it done a week later.

Tbh everyone was supportive.

anotheranswer · 06/03/2006 23:02

telling your GP is the worst bit, because like you say, its verbalising your decision. He/she will ask you if you're sure but that should be all. You should be offered counselling aswell.

I think you're right to go with the tummy bug. then no questions. plan nice things for after, like haircut or a beauty treatment, SHOPPING!, to give yourself a bit of a lift if you feel a bit low. My nurse told me to write down my reasons for my decision and then if i had low moments afterwards to go back to the list for reassurance, but tbh, i haven't needed to. good luck at GP tomorrow x

spacecadet · 07/03/2006 08:00

dont worry, you dont have to explain at great lenghts why you wish to terminate.
when you are seen at the hospital, you may also see a nurse who will talk to you about future contraception etc and at the hospital i worked at, it was usual to do an ultrasound to establish dates.

Original poster

answersplease · 07/03/2006 08:07

Bloody receptionists. F*uck. We have a phone on the day system or you can book a week in advance. That's not going to be helpful for me right now. So she asks if it's urgent then asks what it is about. How the hell are receptionists medically qualified to determine what is urgent? I told her, straight out, but hate that she even asked. I'm going at 9. Just phoned the evil woman at work and left message on her voicemail indicating that I'd be in by 10. That's all I said - well other than I was going to the doctor. She doesn't need to know anything further.

OP posts:

spacecadet · 07/03/2006 08:09

answersplease, thats awful, receptionists should not interrogate you as to whats wrong, i would complain about that to the practice manager.
good luck at the doctors.

anotheranswer · 07/03/2006 09:02

i had to take an urgent appointment and when i was asked what it was for i said it was personal. she sitll gave me the appointment. it's very annoying to have to explain yourself on the phone, hope the docs is ok, thinking of you today x

anotherhere · 07/03/2006 09:21

just seen this thread and wanted to say I too am thinking of you.

I had a termination 6 years ago at 17.5 weeks pg. I had to deliver the baby too. Sadly my termination was due to rape and we took every avenue possible to determine who the father was.

Yes I still get "sad" days when the baby would have bee due and the day I deliver but I took the right option too terminate.

Be strong hun and remember we are all here for you

Original poster

answersplease · 07/03/2006 09:46

He was great. Really great. His secretary is away today so tomorrow she's going to arrange the appointment for me. He says that the local hospital has been unable to do them in the allocated time recently so they've been using bpas which does them. He felt that I should get it done within 2 weeks which I suppose I can live with. He said he knew once the decision was made it would be ideal to get it done straight away but he was limited in what he could do. I also asked about time off work and he said not to worry he'd write a sick note saying I had a viral infection of some kind. Honestly, he was lovely in the circumstances. I didn't cry. He did ask why as he said he had to make a case so I told him and he said it was more than adequate.

I feel so relieved.

OP posts:

Marina · 07/03/2006 10:30

So pleased for you. Isn't it good when your GP exceeds expectations so amazingly! And you get time off to recover physically without having to tell your stupid boss or eat into your annual leave.

Original poster

answersplease · 07/03/2006 11:47

You're right, Marina, it is nice when that happens. He genuinely was not judgemental and was totally accepting and understanding of my reasons. I found that very helpful. I'm at work today but feel a bit out of it. I try to focus on getting to the end of the week and see that as the first hurdle.

I'm really grateful for all the MN advice on this subject. You're all really remarkable women.

OP posts:

waterfalls · 07/03/2006 11:52

answersplease
Just seen this thread, and wanted to say I believe you are doing the kindest thing you possibly can, as I too would'nt knowingly bring a child into this world that would have a very poor quality of life.

anotheranswer · 07/03/2006 22:43

I'm so pleased your doc was nice to you. that's how it should be. i hope your wait isn't too bad, wishing you luck x

anotheranswer · 07/03/2006 22:48

who said it would have a very poor quality of life? I don't remember that being mentioned in the thread. Most of it has been about judgemental people.....

Original poster

answersplease · 08/03/2006 06:58

Thanks, anotheranswer re the quality of life comment. That wasn't mentioned because that wasn't an issue.

I will spend today waiting for the call even though I don't think his secretary will ring until tomorrow.

OP posts:

NomDePlume · 08/03/2006 07:52

4blue1pink, I also had the medical TOP when I was 17, it was very very traumatic. I wish I'd have been given the option of the surgical, tbh.

Original poster

answersplease · 08/03/2006 10:08

Based on my rough dates, my gp thought I was too late for the medical option anyway which I was relieved about. I am not saying surgical is better but by all the accounts on here the medical option does seem to drag the process out.

OP posts:

waterfalls · 08/03/2006 13:56

Sorry, I hope I did'nt offend anyone, I must have misread a post somewhere, was just trying to be sympathetic.............sorry

katyrocks · 08/03/2006 16:04

WF no probs hun x

Original poster

answersplease · 09/03/2006 10:32

The local hospital can't fit me in so I'm off to BPAS which is nationwide apparently. The problem. My consultation isn't until 22nd March. I'll be about 10 or 11 weeks then at a guess. That's two more weeks of feeling like this, too. This is hard :(

OP posts:

katyrocks · 09/03/2006 17:06

i'm so sorry to hear that, i was hoping for better news... GP told me that the NHS are duty bound to offer a termination within two weeks of first visit. why don't you phone up your local women's health clinic (hospital based) and find out what standard practice is in your area? they might be able to help, good luck

anotheranswer · 09/03/2006 17:12

thats ok WF x

Original poster

answersplease · 23/03/2006 23:09

I had the second part of my medical termination this afternoon and have been going through the ordeal now. No pain as such but it is so awful. I thought I knew what to expect and times that by a thousand and it was worse, initially. But given my options included waiting 2 weeks and then travelling 100 miles to get it done with a general anaesthetic, I guess I've made the right choice for me.

Can't imagine getting any sleep tonight. I'll be glad when this part lessens and I can get on with life again.

OP posts:

getbakainyourjimjams · 24/03/2006 03:34

Hope you're feeling better soon answersplease.

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