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Original poster

Terminations - how long?

77 replies

answersplease · 06/03/2006 07:10

I'm currently between 5-7 weeks pregnant and I have made the decision to terminate the pregnancy. I don't want this to get into a debate over that. It is the right choice for me and my family in the circumstances. Does anyone know how long the wait will be once I've been to see my gp?

OP posts:
Original poster
answersplease · 06/03/2006 12:59

I've read that if your gp has issues with termination they have to refer you to another in the practice. If that did happen, I'd camp out at the irregularly scheduled FP clinic in my area. I just do not have the money to go private but would if I could.

OP posts:
staceym11 · 06/03/2006 12:59

answers please, i hope you get what you need from this and they dont make you wait too long, i had an abortion at 14 as i was raped and it was a terrible experience, and there will always be 'what if's' from deep inside but as long as you know the decision is right for you what anyone else says should not matter!!

i wish you the best of luck, hugs to you.

stillhavingnightmares · 06/03/2006 13:11

Please please try to have the surgical one, I had the medical one involving tablets in Jan of this year and it was awful Sad

I know it was my decision, but its one Ill have to live with for the rest of my life, I went in on the Monday, took the tablets then back in on the Wednesday. At 7am they gave me the other tablet, I had crampy pains, had no pain relief, had nurofen in my bag which I took to ease it slightly. I didnt tell anyone so had to go through it on my own,

Finally around 2pm, I went to the toilet using a bed pan, and passed the placenta which I felt coming out of me, then half an hour later the foetus.

Massive hugs to you darling, hope it goes as smoothly as possible

Original poster
answersplease · 06/03/2006 13:19

I had no idea that the medical one was so awful. I will definitely opt for the surgical one. I, too, will be going through this alone though have, today, told my closest friend which I was dreading but she has been supportive. I'm hoping that she'll be able to come with me because presumably there is a local anaesthetic at least or is it a general?

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stillhavingnightmares · 06/03/2006 13:20

With the surgical one its general, youre knocked out and feel nothing

I think your friend will have to go with you, or they wont let you leave after the operation

Original poster
answersplease · 06/03/2006 13:23

In that case I'm glad I told her so she can come with me or at least pick me up. I can now see why I thought the medical one would be better as it is less risky I suppose. I just hope that tomorrow with my gp goes smoothly and I get a clearer idea of how long this will take.

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stillhavingnightmares · 06/03/2006 13:24

Good luck hun x

Marina · 06/03/2006 13:26

answersplease, I phrased my post badly. If your boss is untrustworthy and indiscreet, I think you are fully entitled to lie, or be economical about the truth, about taking a couple of days off sick to recuperate physically. As per IFeelForYou's idea of "minor procedure".

kateandfelicity · 06/03/2006 13:26

I would also recommend the surgial route, hwever, this is not always offered with general anaeasthetic... i strongly recommend general, the local procedure is quite frankly barbaric, not recommended at all. and don't let anyone fob you off with talk of risks of general anaesthetic.

i wish you the best of luck, take care of yourself, and i recommend nice hot baths afterwards helps a lot.

Kate

Original poster
answersplease · 06/03/2006 13:29

Marina, she is notorious for talking about other members of the team when they're not around so I know this about her. I certainly would not trust her with this information. I'd like to think in this situation I could tell my manager but because it's her I can't. I hope that my time off work isn't that long so I maybe can fob it off with something else.

OP posts:
slug · 06/03/2006 13:40

Ring in sick then later, if forced, tell her it was a miscarridge. Go for the sympathy vote.

Marina · 06/03/2006 13:41

:( how unprofessional of her. I am a team manager and would never DREAM of gossiping about any of my team to anyone :( Best of luck whatever you decide WRT to procedure and I sincerely hope the GP treats you well (slug Shock). I am terribly sorry that you are facing this alone unless your friend can manage to come along :(

sameasme · 06/03/2006 13:51

I had a termination 4 years ago. We went via the FPC and I think it took about 2 weeks from initial visit. We had to go to a second clinic in the meantime. The actual op was a Friday and we went over the BH weekend. I opted for a general anaesthetic and they keep you in for about 2 hours afterwards to make sure you are ok. I was back at work on the Tuesday having been very quiet over the weekend.

Original poster
answersplease · 06/03/2006 14:05

Marina, it's the gossiping and knowing how judgmental she will be. I have heard her make some wholly unprofessional comments about my colleagues before and know that somehow this information would slip. I couldn't deal with that. I'm very close with one of my colleagues who is more of a friend and I plan on telling her tonight because in all likelihood she'll have to pick my work.

We don't have any full-time FP clinic. The nearest one to me is not on until Thursday and I don't want to wait till then. GP tomorrow morning and I'll go from there.

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anotheranswer · 06/03/2006 20:28

hi Answersplease, about work - the hopsital gave me a 7 day sick note saying, 'post operative recovery'. The sick note went straight to HR so nobody knew. I told everybody who asked that I'd had a really bad time with my IBS. I don't normally tell fibs but this required some very careful screening - IYKWIM. I wouldn't risk telling anybody but your closest and most trusted friends. Even if people were sympathetic, you would probably end up feeling you should justify your decision. The fewer people who know about it, the easier it will be for you. your boss sounds like a truly unprofessional person, not worthy of her position - don't even think about telling her.

I went home and slept afterwards. I felt no pain or discomfort, not even period cramps, and emotionally I coped with it really well,(which was a big surprise). I used the time off work to catch up around the house, (dust bunnies building up due to feeling so ill beforehand )and it was nearly christmas

you now know what the medical option involves, I was trying to avoid the graphic details earlier, but there's no getting away from it. Surgery was by far the best option,

hope this helps, x

Original poster
answersplease · 06/03/2006 20:55

I hope the hospital are that good with me. I have no intention of telling anyone other than my closest friends. So far that's meant just the two of them. They don't even really know each other. I am telling my colleague/friend because she is not going to tell anyone. I trust her very much.

I'm getting myself all worked up about seeing my gp in the morning. I have one of those phone in the morning for an appointment type doctors so I will be going in late and that will cause questions, too. I am probably not going to sleep much tonight.

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spacecadet · 06/03/2006 21:08

answersplease- a friend of mine opted for the medical procedure(tablets) and said she found it very traumatic and wished she had opted for the surgical method, i think the tablet method is too long and drawn out.
good luck at the gp's.

spacecadet · 06/03/2006 21:10

as for going in to work late, you say you needed to see the gp, its nobody's business why, but if pressed, say womens problems, which can cover a wide wange of things.

7up · 06/03/2006 21:15

my friend had the surgical removal , she had an injection in her bum and had a 7wk old removed,took about half hour in all. afterwards she was sat in the waiting room with me and the staff gave her a warm compress for her belly.she suffered belly cramps for a few days and got rather depressed obviously. from the first phone call to having the termination took only a week

Original poster
answersplease · 06/03/2006 21:31

My manager is so false, I don't think I'm actually doing her insensitivity and unprofessionalism justice here. For example, she will push me about my dr's appointment even though I will offer to work through lunch - like I do most days anyway. And seriously if she got news of this, she would make my life hell. She has the perfect life, you see, and looks down on me at the best of time even though I'm more qualified than she is. I am doing this job because I work hours to fit around dd. She doesn't like that. She thinks women should stay home with their kids like she did with her 3.

I won't even consider the medical option now. I can't go through something so horrific. The termination itself will be bad, this much I am anticipating but for it drag out for days, I couldn't do.

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expatinscotland · 06/03/2006 21:33

answer
she canNOT legally press you about this. are you a union member? b/c i suggest going to them if you are.

7up · 06/03/2006 21:40

answer, i hope it wasnt my message that has made you upset?i didnt read all the posts, i do apologise i thought you wanted to know wot happenend. my friend didnt suffer honestly and was in and out and could have carried on normally after taking a few paracetomol but she had a day off work and then it was the weekend so she was lucky in that respect.

Original poster
answersplease · 06/03/2006 21:48

Nothing like a union but if I have to I'll just go off sick for my 5 days self certified and say I had a gastric bug or something. I'm willing to lie. 7up, your post didn't upset me, I suppose it's fear of the unknown that is rattling my nerves a bit now. Even more than that is sitting opposite my gp and having to verbalise what I've decided to do. Anyone who thinks women who make this decision are taking the easy way out are wrong.

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sanchpanch · 06/03/2006 21:54

I had surgical termination this time last year, decided against medical one,

No general anathestic, though that could vary between areas, it felt almost like a smear test and was just as quick, and also had the coil fitted at the same time, i was in clinic for approx, 3 hours.... they were all very supportive and caring

Was seen at local family planning clinic on a tues and had it the following saturday.....

Had to take antibiotics for 1 week, and i think thats standard everywhere.

sending you my very best wishes x

7up · 06/03/2006 21:59

i hope you will come to the right decision for yourself answer. def do what youve just said and take the time off work, theres so many bugs going round at the moment.i do hope you'll be ok and have a best friend for support, now and afterwards.take care.x

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