**24TH** TAMOXIFEN thread !

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we go...

Lol at the doctor and the portacath! My chemo nurse thought I was mental when I asked to keep my PICC line... (I did keep it, I have no idea what to do with it now though.)

I can't keep up with this thread either but I have read all posts! I just can't keep things in my memory for long enough to make sure I've replied to everyone. Damn 'chemo brain' is still affecting me.

Morning everyone!

jc Glad you enjoyed your swim! I used to love going swimming!

Amber I'm sorry it was so uncomfortable for you :(

Tospy Welcome home!

Ned Your hand cream sounds lovely! I hope your son is OK today!

Baskets Hello :) It's awful not knowing what the problem is. Not feeling in control is the worst thing ever. I hope you have answers soon x

*Kurri, sometimes, MAS, Gig, Smee, Gracie (Did I miss anyone?) Hello to you all!

I'm feeling lot better today. Being able to look at my scans having a name given to my foe has helped me a lot. My Doctor is going to send me some up-to-date literature so I can know my foe and he's giving me some tramadol for when the pain gets too bad. REAL drugs. NOW you're talking!

bubble lol @ chemo brain! I hope you're feeling good today x

Morning all. Got on? Bagels on the trolley too, if you fancy.

Feeling Ok this morning, slept OK and not too achy. Managed yesterday on no painkillers, so feeling positive!

DS packed off with suncream and water sprays and hat today. autumn he has a genetic disorder that means he can't sweat, so hot weather can be unpleasant and slightly dangerous for him as he can overheat very quickly. He copes pretty well, and the school are clued up to coping with his needs. Have left the paddling pool out for this afternoon - think he might need it!

jchoc of your swim. My favourite exercise by far. One of my definite plans for September is to get back to the pool regularly.

bubble don't even get me started on chemo brain - I delete entire conversations from my memory! I sometimes have to approach this thread with a pad and pen to make a note of whats important as I read. I recommend it as a strategy!

topsy hope you had a restful night in your own bed. Rest up today, OK?

What's the plans for today?

autumn glad you are feeling better and have some proper drugs. Not keen on tramadol myself as gave me massive lows but I know I am unusual in that .

ned glad you are feeling better and ds not doing too badly in heat.

bubble I kept part of my radiotherapy mold - fortunately it was in a bag to carry home.

topsy hope you are getting a good rest and healing up.

snoopy how are you today?

Waves to everyone else

Morning All

Have decided I can't catch up with all I have missed , do if you don't mind I shall just start afresh !

Who has what today ?
Any tests , treatments or results ?

Welcome to the newbies I have missed .
Sorry you find yourselves here , but it is a fab place .

Brief synopsis for those who don't know me - diagnosed breast cancer last may . Mx and node clearance June . Lung secondaries diagnosed last June . Chemo finished November . Rads finished January . Had breast reduction surgery 2 weeks ago on remaining boob to even me up . 2 days later went into septic shock and got rushed back into hospital . Had more surgery to reopen and clean out infection . Then spent the next 10 days on iv antibiotics . Released yesterday , now sitting on my sofa waiting for district nurses to come round and change my dressings .

Oh am also due to start herceptin and more chemo , but might take a couple of weeks off to get over latest palaver ..

Was too hot last night so I slept on my sofa . Was actually really comfy and a heck of a lot cooler !

Now catching up on all my sky+ programs and waiting for nurse to arrive .

Topsy you are a real trouper! I hope you enjoy a nice peaceful day today. it is so good to have you back. x

Decided to give work a swerve today as much as possible: I need to spend more time horizontal i think and today is a day when that could happen without upsetting the apple cart too much. And it is a real beauty of a day

DH has just had a little shunt in his car - making the third in about 3 months. All his fault and very unlike him. He is gutted but it makes me feel a lot better about my sorry history I am trying to look sympathetic

I hope you all get a chance to sit back and breathe a bit today, and to enjoy the sun.

Morning everyone.

Topsy - welcome back, it's great to have you back with us again.

Ned - glad this cycle seems to be agreeing with you better than the last. Hope DS enjoys the paddling pool this afternoon, it must be difficult for him when the weather is like this, but at least his school know what to do to keep him safe.

Waves to Autumn, Gig, Sometimes and anyone else who may be around this morning.

Might have a ride out to the park again when dh gets home from work. It will be a bit cooler by then and give us all a chance to enjoy some fresh air. It's far too nice to be stuck indoors all day :)

Good morning all - enjoy a rest and the sunshine sometimes and topsy
Am going up to my hot room to work...

OOh yes, try and get out and about. Stops you going mad even if it's only for a short while. Enjoy it!

Morning all

Baskets - thank you so much for telling us about your illness, it's very brave to actually set everything down in writing - a hard task, but hopefully therapeutic too. You've obviously been going through a hell of a lot for a very long time, - that constant feeling unwell and uncertainty must be terribly draining. Lots of love to you and I'm really pleased you found us on tamox. - hope we can be of support to you and provide a safe place to vent when necessary

amber - ouch for yesterday hope you are feeling Ok today - it must have all been a bit traumatic, but I'm glad it's all done now.

topsy - gentle stay on that sofa and don't move, enjoy your programme. My God you have been a poorly girl - septic shock sounds absolutely awful, thank goodness for AB's and it's lovely to see you home.

ned - bet little DS looks cute in his sunhat its good that the school are on the ball with his needs, - I used to have the paddling pool ready and waiting for mine when they were little too, - DS used to start stripping off as soon as he got through the door and head outside for a dip - there would be a line of abandoned clothing along the hallway

Sometimes - day of rest sounds good, and necessary - don't push yourself too hard too soon.

1step - a trip out will do you the world of good - enjoy the lovely weather.

Autumn - so pleased the GP was helpful, - its good when you know you've got a HCP who knows all about you, can support you through treatment and you know you can just give them a ring with any problems. - Hope the tramadol works well for your pain and makes things a bit easier to deal with.

waving to everyone else

Can I just mention something? Bubble touched on it in her post. This thread moves very fast and there is a lot to catch up with if you are offline even for a couple of days. I absolutely do not expect people to keep up with my posts (which are largely the ramblings of a mad old woman), and would never feel offended or left out of I wasn't acknowledged or namechecked.
And I hope everyone knows that if I miss anyone out or don't reply to things, it is nothing personal and just that I've lost track.

Hope that doesn't sound silly - but I wanted everyone to know that there is no pressure to read everything, or keep up with everything, or to namecheck everyone - just dive in and say what you want to. I always send love to everyone, and I mean it - I keep you all in mind even if I don't specifically answer your post.

Love to all xx

Note to self - don't rush round house the day after triple local anaesthetic and three quarters of an hour of operation - you go dizzy.

Indeed you do, Amber (borrows KK's duct tape)

ALso - i agree with KK. It is impossible to keep up so, while I read as much as I possibly can, and think of you all, all the time - I am going to miss stuff and it isn't because I don't care. And I am not offended if you don't acknowledge my ramblings, which are mostly not worth it anyway. x

Likewise, my brain can't handle the mumsnet format very well, where we've got loads of different accounts all mixed in together. So I'm rubbish at doing the excellent multiple responses that others can manage.

But I'm handy at reading them and nodding and leaving out

Kurri - it doesn't sound silly at all. I always read through the posts, but as you say it's not always possible to acknowledge all of the posts. I'm another that isn't offended if I don't get a personal reply, I'm just glad to have somewhere I can post where I know people understand what I'm going through.

Amber - hope you're now taking things easy :)

Last week when I was in hospital, they wanted to move my bed into a different ward. All was going well until we realised the nurse hadn't notice my catheter and was pulling me along with the bag left behind on the floor. Double ow!

That's made my eyes water sometimes . And I thought tripping over my drain tubes was a bit ouch!

Sometimes -the thought of catheters always make me rapidly cross and uncross my legs! - thank goodness the only times I've had them, they've put them in while I'm unconscious - but having it dragged round the ward? - oww!

I managed to shout a warning before it got beyond an alarming twinge .....

Talk of catheters does same to me too, kurri! A couple of summers ago, poor DH who has reached the age where his prostate causes probs (though v good now he has right meds and IF he remembers to take .....) had to be catheterised in a hurry. V kind GP came up the road to drive him to med centre (we were/still are carless household), but after procedure didn't fasten leg bag onto dh's leg properly and poor dh found himself with big bag of pee emerging frm trouser leg and across carpark. At home, I was able to show exactly what those velcro straps in packet were for. I think, more than the pain, dh was worried somebody would see, though twas so early in AM, I don't think anybody much was around.

Very quick hi and sorry I haven't been about much. Been trying to keep up with housework lazing in the sun and haven't had a chance to catch up. But thinking of you all and hugs to those that need it.

Topsy really glad you are home. Remember to take it easy and catch up on all those crime dramas .

I have onc appointment this afternoon so it will be interesting to see what he has to say about the CT. DH is coming with me so he will ask all the relevant questions.

Can I ask a TMI question. How soon after starting chemo did AF stop? I have had 2 FEC (due 3rd next week) and I think AF is here again. This is the 2nd one since starting chemo. Worried now chemo isn't doing what it should.

Huge waves to everyone. Need to head off soon for school run and in this heat my wig is sooooooo uncomfortable. I really need to buy some more scarves or try the infamous Buff.

I feel okay today. I think 'talking' yesterday was therapeutic, and DH and I managed on spur of mo to get out together last night. This isa very rare treat as it's not often opportunity, spare cash and 'boy care' all come together. Also DH doesn't really do spontaneity, whereas I quite enjoy last minute 'nice' events.

Thanks for all kind messages. The long term uncertainty is hard. Still not sure about blog idea. i am very private really, also not sure my IT skills are up to it. We'll see .....

I'm with others on nobody feeling left out if left out, as it were. In fact I think it should be a ground rule here!!! After all tamox is here for support and kindred feeling, so nobody should feel extra stressed when posting, when stress of various sorts is a feature of life for thread users anyway. I think MN should provide a goldfish emoticon especiallyfor us, whether it's due to chemo brain, AI disease, perimenopause, too many children, whatever. I think I have all but the first esp the whatever! So that's that sorted then. DH was up early baking bread, so there's some of that and a big pot of strawberry jam on trolley. Sorry, no muffins yet. Too hot for baking, methinks, and after late night I had a late start today, so still chasing my tail a bit.

Big decision here. Should I, in view of lovely weather, strip another bed now? I dread getting to bedtime, when I am always v tired, and finding nobody ahs their beds made up, and at mo I am the only responsible person here. Oh dear, off to scowl at neighbour's flagpole again shortly. It's got DH quite exercised, and he's mutteirng about 'Does he need planning permission?'!! I've told him it's all relative -there's a flagpole with a red hand of Ulster on the way to the swimming pool, which dh has never seen. Nothing against flags (or big poles!) as such, just a bit iffy about things that feel jingoistic.

Talking of swimming pool, ds has lesson at 5. Twill be torture being there and not being able to join in in water. I am pale skinned, blond northern European and not accustommed to weather that doesn't involve rain and 'dreich'. C u all l8r!!! (baskets pretending she is teenager, not just ma of teens)

Baskets glad you had a nice night out with DH. We all need some time as couple I think. I stripped kids beds yesterday as I am so sad because I love a line full of washing. At bedtime I realised the beds still weren't made up and I was conveniently on the phone so left the bed making to DH

Gracie, sorry heat is causing probs with wig wearing - it must be soo hot. Hope you can get buffs, scarves that are more comfortable for you.

Re your qu about AF, I think chemo doesn't necessarily cause it to stop. Just that you can expect to maybe have your cycle go somewhat erratic, which can explain you having it again now sooner than usual. For others it can mean bigger gaps or stopping altogether. So no definite rule, just that chemo seems to cause cycle to change. But, as before, i have no personal experience of chemo and I'm sure others will be along shortly. It emphatically does not mean chemo not being effective. I hope I've reassured you in case nobody else is along for a bit.

Really must go now and turn myself into a domestic goddess. Oh dear, it was never meant to be. Hugs and good luck vibes to all. xxxx