**24TH** TAMOXIFEN thread !

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we go...

waves to snoopy and lots of good thoughts to you for 2nd chemo xxx
Anxiety is so horrible - it really gnaws away at your insides (tht's what it feels like to me)
Am going to make coffee if anyone wants some and get to work- I have to do character studies for this poss. illustration job (the one I quoted for)
Ds still asleep - will let him rest today,though more exams next week...

Hi smee and MAS

Yes, ANOTHER inset day, and it poured down all day long which is guaranteed to get me and dd both into the glooms. Such a boring day we had yesterday. I think we are both glad to get past it and move on.

Jet lag coming from the US to the UK is always quite a challenge: not nearly so bad in the other direction, I always find. Sleeping and forgetting exams for a bit sounds like a top idea.

I want Bambi lashes! Stillhave them but never long. It's up and down all this isnt it.. DH was trying to console me when I was having a little quiet tear last night in bed and kept saying "what's wrong"! Felt myself getting angry and saying ffs what do you think? Obv didn't say that - he is a gem but didn't really need to ask did he? I spose others don't know what to say or how to deal with things sometimes.

gig I'm only taking 1mg at bed and thats not doing anything and maybe another at about 2am. Do you think I should ask for some more of them and take bigger dose? I shall check and see what Dr says later. Thanks

smee I will keep going with cap. No patches as far as I can tell so maybe it will just thin alot. Musn't give up yet on it. Eastbourne sounded good. i really wanted to get away to coast Bornemouth Jubilee weekend but no chance with half term and all that. The coast was calling me don't know why. Therapeutic waves/sea maybe and ..oh yes pesky 6 yr old nagging to buy tat in shops....maybe not so calming. I feel I'm becoming a hermit in this house and must try to not be a scaredy cat and get out more, losing my confidence a bit.

sorry being a right depressive today. Feel ok honest

snoopy,don't apologise!! After all why wouldn't you be depressed? You've got a haul of chemo to get through and you're losing your hair. Be most odd if you were skipping around. Can't remember who on here told me a walk a day during chemo, even if you don't feel up to it is a grand idea and it definitely worked for me, so maybe try that later. Eastbourne's lovely - was weirdly quiet when we were there, and tat shops largely closed, but enough open to get that seaside vibe going. Sea was wondrous - deep grey/ blue swill and crashing waves against the pier. All lovely.

Gig how'd it go with appointments?

And Ned, how are you feeling? Hope not too bad.

Sometimes, must admit it was a relief school had started again here too. Think the rain didn't help. Made a mental note to keep us all very busy over summer holidays..

Top plan!

I've booked dd on a theatre skills course at the big local theatre for one week of the summer term - it is five full days. Costly but she'll get a lot out of it and I can hopefully do a bit of work. So that's one week filled - only another 4 to go (we will be away for one, getting roasted in Cyprus)

Snoopy - bambi lashes are written into the contract, so you'll get them. Mine were so huge I couldn't keep my glasses on my nose properly.Have settled back to normal now, sadly.

By the way - anyone know if this is true or not?

Someone i was chatting to in hospital while I had my back done said that, when you go abroad, people who have had cancer are supposed to take a supply of antibiotics with them in case they get bitten or an infected cut or whatever? Is this right? Even if you are a few years post-treatment (I could understand it if you were mid-chemo)? She seemed a sensible sort, but no-one has ever said that to me (I don't think.... )

I haven't been told that, though last year before we went camping in France I was feeling a bit iffy and went to the GP, who willingly gave me a supply of antibiotics just in case I needed them whilst I was there, so maybe that's similar.

Theatre course for DD sounds good. I wish my DS was a bit bolder. A couple of friends have e-mailed course type things for summer across, but he just gets freaked by anything new. We haven't got anything planned for the holidays yet - must pull my finger out..

Thanks. I'll ask my GP I think.

DS is still quite little. I read what you said a bout him not wanting to go away for the night - that would have been dd last year: she is just beginning to branch out a bit now.

By the way, if you're watching, greylady - the poster who you had a run in with is getting bolshy again in the thread about Reiki. I'm not sure about Reiki myself, but she really just doesn't seem to be able to live and let live. Poor her.

Let us know what GP says then, Sometimes. Would be useful to know. I think you're right about DS, as even in the last few months he's got bolder and actually he's far more confident than I was at his age. When he was little he was off the scale in terms of being clingy, so it's lovely to see. When's DD's birthday? Isn't it soon?

My ds is going away for three days, two nights on an activity residential with school. He will have his ta with him, but ds wouldn't have wanted to do it last year, but now he is 9 (yr4) he is ready for that kind of adventure.

How exciting Sparkle. Bet he'll have a fantastic time. My son's school don't do that sort of thing until Yr6, so he's got a few years to before then. Am sure he'll be up for it by then!

Yup dd is 9 in a couple of weeks and counting!

Sparkles- how exciting for your ds! I am glad he is up for it, it will be a great experience for all of them.

DD has a summer camp out thing on the school field in about 10 days time - it's only one night but she wouldn't have countenanced the idea even a few months ago: i think she's fine about it now. Unless she gets put in a tent with the school thug (perfectly possible, it's a girl in her class), in which case i will put the kibosh on it myself, as i would not like dd to be seeing her birthday through black eyes

MAS has made dd the most lovely card.....

Aw, 9's quite an age. Think it's because the next one is 10, which feels like you've crossed a line somehow. Bet she's excited. I am a curmudgeon, but breathed a bit of a sigh of relief once DS's birthday celebrations were over. All lots of fun, but he was so hyped up by it all, he needed a rest.

Where is that sometimes

Hi Gig - where's what?

The poster who upset greylady .. Have some time on my hands s

Oh and my Gp said could offer me precautionary antibiotics if wanted on chemo but rightly said won't help with viruses (was chatting about practically what you do when are having chemo and in proximity to carrier monkey nursery kids).

I guess after it depends how long your blood gets back to normal (as isn't that main indicator of being susceptible).

Yes, I don't really enjoy their birthdays No party for us this year though, as she will be away on her birthday and we'll celebrate it then. I think that's helped a bit to keep the stress levels down.

Oh sorry, right....

It was in Active when I mentioned it but can't see it there - it is in Philosophy/religioon/spirituality and it is just called 'Reiki'

On the meds front - yes, I guess you would be right. I think my blood must be OK by now, I had an op three week ago and all seemed to be fine with the pre-op tests......

Good afternoon all

Sorry you are feeling a bit low snoopy - but it is only natural, and losing your hair is a big thing to cope with, so don't be hard on yourself. Hope the Doc calls with some good suggestions to help you, - I had zopiclone to help me sleep, which worked for a while but then I had to up the dose. I also had lorazepam at one point - which I found more of a calming/relaxing thing rather than helping me sleep. Its also worth discussing anti depressants - doesn't mean you have to have them, but they can help, and a low dose can just tide you over through the tough times when you are having treatment. xx

I hadn't heard of taking AB's abroad, - I guess the infection risk is only if you've had lymph nodes removed, - I'd did have an insect bite go nasty on my nodeless arm, and it happened pretty quick - from nothing to a red line up my arm within a couple of hours - so maybe it is a good idea to go armed with AB's (does medical insurance not cover you for any thing related to cancer perhaps?)

Hope DS has a lovely time on his trip Sparkle, - it's lovely to see them growing up and gaining in confidence.

The tassled pink blanket looks good , I feel a huge scale business coming on with this blanket invention - you can all have shares when I go global!

Waving to everyone, especially those having treatment or tests or just had their chemo

Today would have been my darling brother's 62nd birthday, - he died in 1986 when he was 35. So I will be lighting a candle for him.

All my family planted bulbs called Alium Christopherii in our gardens in memory of him, because his name was Christopher, and mine are just coming into bloom now, they have a big round head of blue flowers - very pretty.

KK, hugs re your brother.

Fresh appears on the fbs trolley.

Kurri, how sad. I didn't know you'd lost a brother. Lovely idea to plant flowers for him. I will light a candle for him too.

I think you are right KK - am sure medical insurance wouldn't cover it, and that's part of the thinking. I will ask the GP nearer the time and let you all know, in case it helps anyone, ever.

I will light a candle and have a quiet think for Christopher too. How lovely that his alliums are coming out in a timely way. Hugs to you all. xx

I will have some of that thank you amber

Thank you for kind words and candles, - enough time has gone past now that I can think of him with a smile and remember him, but it took me a long time to come to terms with when it happened. I think because my DS was only a year old at the time, I sort of threw myself into looking after him and being 'busy' and didn't let myself grieve properly, so when it did hit me, it hit me hard.

I remember coming outside after my brother's funeral, Dad had gone to the car and put his jumper on (the one in the photo ) because it was snowing and very cold, and he put his arms round me and I snuggled into his jumper, - aw bugger I've made myself cry now, daft woman.