**TAMOXIFEN**22 !

[MaryAnnSingleton]

yikes- here we go...

Steals a Lindt bunny and leaves something nice for nikki (my dog was partial to chicken or mince cooked with rice).

j I am sorry about your mum.

mas never read any Patrick gale - any suggestions to start as need distraction when my rads start.

Very down re scan tomorrow so please sit on back- cant seem to get round it being anything other than bad news and don't feel have any more energy to cope.

Gig, one day at a time. Will sit firmly on the box until your scan's done. Be thinking of you all tomorrow while I sit there.

Jane, tired and emotional sounds sane to me. Hope you kept some lindt bunnies all for you.

Hope Nikki dog's home soon. Poor old thing, will need some treats.

MAS, I haven't read any Patrick Gale either. Tell us where to start.

Will you get your scan results tomorrow gig ?
I never seem able to get mine the same day .
What time is your appointment ? I shall light my candle for you .

Gracie - definitely ask for anti-sickness drugs to be upped for next time. I take anything offered. Tiredness for me was worse days 6 and 7 on epirubicin so hopefully you will be on the way up soon.

Smee and Something - gooddluck for your operations. I was terrified of my GA. I didn't think I was going to go under but then next thing I knew was a lovely lady (think she must have been a volunteer) telling me everything was O.K. and just to continue sleeping. She was so calming.

Jane and MAS what a worry about your mothers.

Ned - I know what you feel about the change of drugs even though epirubicin is no fun you kind of learn what to expect. Docetaxol makes me tired and food tasted disgusting mid-cycle but have not had the other side-effects they warn you about. I am due my next cycle tomorrow providing wbc count is OK - was low yet again today. I am not sure I am going to be doing much sleeping tonite as took my dexamethasone far too late as forgot it earlier.

Gigs - I will take my turn on paranoia box. Might as well be occupied if I can't sleep.

Tim - you sound like a lovely boyfriend. It didn't matter to me exactly what presents were but I really appreciated that people were thinking of me. I found it difficult to concentrate on reading after the op - so DVDs might be a good idea.

Waves to everybody else - I know I have missed a few.

I'm clambering on the box for you gig and sending much love
I would suggest Notes from an Exhibition - have read it twice and chose it as my bookgroup choice where it went down very well (I was starting rads too when we discussed it) I know ned is a fan of Patrick Gale. He is also extremely good looking (though he has a husband)

jane sorry you're having a worrying time with your mum, it's hard isn't it. I tend to try not to think too much about it all, because it's plain scary.

Eight, will be thinking of you tomorrow then. I think after that you'll just have two left? That must seem a bit more manageable? Really hope it does. Hope you're not leaping around with the steroids.

MAS, have put it on my Amazon wish list.

eight will be thinking of you tomorrow xxx

Tea and crumpets anyone. Wrong time of day but lets not worry about that. Did get some sleep thankfully despite the steroids. Hope everyones appointments goes well - seems to be a busy week for them again.

Thanks oneineight.

Appt at 6pm- dh prob going to come and hand hold. But mas doubt will get results for a while as oncologist does the check and team reviews it (so know its very thorough) so probably a week or so.

Am going to download that book too.

I find worse thing about ga is the hangover after - It also makes me feel quite low but that could be cos anesthetist is a massive rugby type who believes in generous quantities of morphine based on what he would take himself .

How is nikki today?

And one more round today oneineight so will be thinking of you.

ned sorry you are feeling a bit wobbly. But you are Getting through this.

Morning all - any crumpets left eight ?!

Any Patrick Gale you can get your hands on will not disappoint - "Facts of Life" is fab, quite challenging to read, but really powerful. My favourite, I think. "A Sweet Obscurity" and "Rough Music" very good too. He is luffly looking, and not remotely orange - although, as MAS says, he has a husband. Boo. . .

Sometimes good to see you back! Glad to hear you had a lovely holiday, with reasonable weather. Eek on the back op news - good to be getting on with it though, I guess?

Smee your op's crept up quickly too - bet you'll be pleased when its done. Lots of hand holding and fbs are in order, I think.

GRACIE ! Good to see you back, my love. Well done getting this far! Retching sounds rubbish - get them to give you more anti sickness. What have they given you to take? Just eat what you fancy, I say. The tiredness is crap - just pace yourself, and don't try to do too much.

gig big hugs for scan today. Fingers crossed the news is good. Thinking of you lots at the moment, waiting for the . Must be so hard for you. Hang in there, lovelyx x

Sparkle how's pirate dog nikki today? Hope she's doing OK.

Kurri Highway code as dull as it gets, I'm afraid. Are there any online revision things that you could use to practice? Or CD-ROM things? Good luck with the revision! I think you have an appointment today? Got everything crossed for you x

topsy your weekend plans sound amazing! Bet you'll have a great time x

jchoc what news on your mum? Are they planning to discharge her today? Big hugs for you and her x

eight thanks for the reassurance about the docetaxol. I think I am having the infections you had as well, having re-read DH's scribbled notes from the first oncologist appointment - is that standard with docetaxol? Am feeling very wimpy and pathetic about it all but I'm sure it will be fine. Will report back on what oncologist says tomorrow. . . .

gig sorry - failed to finish that sentence in your bit! Should read "waiting for the rads to start" This bloody chemo brain. . . that will serve me right for trying to write epic posts. Think I should follow kurri's example and do it in two chunks. . .

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=patrick+gale&hl=en&biw=1920&bih=979&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=DJg1sSFKfkdnJM:&imgrefurl=www.falwriting.com/node/133&docid=nQ26Gy-DmKWRMM&imgurl=www.falwriting.com/files/images/nodes/r176640_673000.jpg&w=450&h=600&ei=x2aWT4K8F8Wi0QXp1smcDg&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=399&sig=100590263612787769990&page=1&tbnh=130&tbnw=97&start=0&ndsp=54&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0,i:85&tx=51&ty=36" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the lovely Mr. Gale

Ooh he is nice and not orange at all...

Had weeping session on my therapist so feel better now. Just got to brave a playdate now and try to phone again re radiotherapy. I am not betting anymore chocolate or will clear out local shop of FBs

V easy on the eye!

Book is posted MAS - don't worry about sending anything else, loaned or otherwise, I have a mountain of books to read, several feet high. I hope you like it.

Sparkles, I hope Nikki is still doing OK. I got sent one of those round robin email things today with brilliantly funny and cute photos of dogs grabbing tennis balls in water -all teeth and goggly eyes. Taken by a professional wildlife photographer and just lovely. Can send it to you if you think you'd find it cheering.

I am getting my candle lit again today for everyone - especially for MAS's Mum and Jane's Mum,, Gracie, Gig, Ned, One in Eight - everyone with crap medical stuff on the go. This too shall pass, ladies.

I don't have a date for the back op yet, just these pre-op appointments next Monday. I guess it will be worth doing: a trapped nerve is never a good thing to have long-term, and if it helps me to sleep better it has got to be a good idea.

KK- do you have a driving test date yet?

Still some crumpets left Ned but get in fast as dh is home and they are likely to disappear imminently.

I am guessing injections are standard as I was just told that I would be having them. A district nurse came in to do them last time but she did show me how so I will probably do them myself this time to save having to hang about in the house all day. The injections themselves can cause aches (oh joy!) but I was quite luckly that it wasn't too bad and if it prevents another visit to hospital all the better.

Will try to read a Patrick Gale too. I am reading absolute Hrubbish at the moment because I am finding it very difficult to get into a book at the moment. Brief spell of sunshine here so hoping to finish off (started on Saturday but chased inside by showers) mowing lawn before chemo otherwise its going to be unbearably long.

Still some crumpets left Ned but get in fast as dh is home and they are likely to disappear imminently.

I am guessing injections are standard as I was just told that I would be having them. A district nurse came in to do them last time but she did show me how so I will probably do them myself this time to save having to hang about in the house all day. The injections themselves can cause aches (oh joy!) but I was quite luckly that it wasn't too bad and if it prevents another visit to hospital all the better.

Will try to read a Patrick Gale too. I am reading absolute Hrubbish at the moment because I am finding it very difficult to get into a book at the moment. Brief spell of sunshine here so hoping to finish off (started on Saturday but chased inside by showers) mowing lawn before chemo otherwise its going to be unbearably long.

Hi One - I did those injections myself and it is OK. Much better than waiting around for the district nurse, as you say. The trick is just to pinch the fat behind the injection site very hard, then you don't feel a thing. This was no problem as there is so much of it there .

grass mowing is v impressive.....

I have crumpets too, so we won't run out.

Ned, injections are standard on Tax. I did them myself like you're planning to, Eight. Got quite into the whole putting the syringe together thing. It's like playing doctors! Hope today goes well.

Gig, you too - 6pm's a long time to wait. I hate it when appointments are end of day. Glad to hear your DH's going too.

Gracie, how are you today? Any less tired. Hope the nausea's subsided at least. Rest up and let us feed you from the fb trolley.

Sparkle, any sign of Nikki coming home? Hope you've got Pet Insurance. Must be v.far from cheap..!

My top tip for reading atm is the Penguin Modern Classics series - v.cheap, as they're small books so great for taking on public transport. I took a few to NY. One made me gasp out loud on the Subway, as it was so astonishing. If you get a chance, it's called 'Hell Screen', but a Japanese writer called Akutangawa. Genuinely enthralling I thought.

MAS, was thinking of you this morning, as DS's reading book from school atm is Ottoline and the Yellow Cat. He was reading to me before breakfast, but we got completely distracted by the illustrations. V.clever man, Chris Riddell.

Just had a look at that book Smee, it looks fun. May get it for dd to read, she's on The Secret Garden from school and is finding it a bit hard going. We've just done Pippi Longstocking, which seems in a similar vein to Ottoline and she found that laugh out loud funny.

just popping by to hold hands/sit on boxes of paranoia/MILs and SILs and eat the crumpets. Will go and look at junior smee's Ottoline - ....

Pippi Longstocking - had quite forgotten her! Ottoline's nicely surreal, with a wry wit and fantastic illustrations; am sure she'd love it, Sometimes. I think DS would struggle reading Secret Garden. His reading's pretty good, but from memory, it's quite dense isn't it - or maybe it's an abridged version. Lovely story though.

It is dense, you are right. It isn't an abridged version but it's her own fault, she gets free choice and she was seduced by the nice cover and having enjoyed the film. That's a method of choosing I have used myself and it is fraught with danger

It is a lovely story, so we are taking turns to read a page each, just to get her through it. It's the antiquated sentence constructions that she struggles with.

Dd is quite a bit older than your ds, don't forget - she's coming up to 9.

For preference she'd read nothing but Wimpy Kid books, anything by Jacqueline Wilson, and Pippi L, of course. But Ottoline looks like it might be a go-er as well.