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Original poster

***TAMOXIFEN number 19***

995 replies

MaryAnnSingleton · 31/01/2012 16:41

ta daa !

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Original poster
MaryAnnSingleton · 04/02/2012 14:45

mindfulness courses

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KurriKurri · 04/02/2012 14:54

I meant to say hope your mum has a lovely party MAS, and many happy returns to her Smile

jchocchip · 04/02/2012 15:19

Happy Birthday Mrsmas! Waves to Figgy, a year already :) It's snowing here. Cat keeps running in and out, not quite knowing what to do. I went into the sauna at the pool and was the only one there. Heavenly to lie down in that heat for 10 mins though!

BackforGood · 04/02/2012 15:35

Snowing here at last - very exciting, although more the 'dusting of icing sugar' look than proper 'let's go and build a snowman' snow.
Still no convincing ds to wear a coat, or even a hat as he set off to watch his team play! What a nutter warm blooded creature he is.

Gigondas · 04/02/2012 15:43

No sign here - but they were gritting the roads earlier.

KurriKurri · 04/02/2012 15:45

None here yet either, but its definitely cold enough.

LEMONAIDE · 04/02/2012 16:09

Hi - I was just posting on a breast clinic post and noticed you offered hand holding over here Grin I was hoping I could ask you a couple of questions.

I was referred because I had a lump which turned out to be fat, but in the process of mammograms they noticed I had a cluster of micro calcifications which they have unfortunately been unable to biopsy (it disperses when compressed for the mammogram) I am now on hold for that to "see what it does" for a year.

I am now scheduled for a Hadfields duct removal as they think (best case scenario) there is possibly a wart under the nipple causing itching and discharge (which I did think was quite cool in a macabre way until I realised it meant surgery)

I have been told to wear loose clothing and was going to wear jog bottoms what should I wear on top bearing in mind its day surgery and I have to go home afterwards? Im focussing on this as when I went for pre operative assessment my blood pressure went dangerously high - can you help me focus on the small details so I dont drive my self crazy worrying about the alternative possibilities!

KurriKurri · 04/02/2012 16:22

Hi Lemonaide, I hope everything goes well for you when you have your surgery Smile I think the way to go is loose soft clothing, - so jogging bottoms ideal, on top I'd have a soft t-shirt, and a cardigan (or a hoody or something that does up at the front, so you don't have to pull too much over your head, incase your arm is stiff.) or a roomy sweatshirt.

I'd take things which are a bit on the big an baggy side, because it might be sore to put your bra on after the surgery, and they'll help make you feel more covered up, and they won't press on your wound.

Try not to panic, - they will take good care of you, - how is your blood pressure now, have they got it to come down a bit?

Good luck with your surgery, and hope they manage to sort out the itching/discharge problem.

LEMONAIDE · 04/02/2012 16:32

The blood pressure was only sky high on the pre op assessment, its been on the high side of OK since - hopefully I will be able to stay calm on the day or it will be cancelled and I just want to get it done.

So you think a zip hoody should be OK?

KurriKurri · 04/02/2012 16:41

Yes - I think a zip hoody will be fine. That's good about your BP coming down Smile

Have you got any other worries? It's all rather scary, and sometimes it helps just to have somewhere to come and say 'I feel a bit shit about all of this' - there's generally someone around to chat to Smile

Gigondas · 04/02/2012 16:44

Yes should be fine to wear that if not too tigut.I had day surgery for milk blister and was home by tea time and it really wasnt that bad.

Can you practice any relaxation or visualisation techniques as I know they can help with bp issues ? Or can dh or someone come too to help calm you ?

Try and take some rubbish mags or something to entertain you as there was a fair wait to be discharged although I Was ready to go, the paperwork wasn't

sandripples · 04/02/2012 17:06

Hi,
Lemon - yes baggy top and take a couple of treats even if its just day syrgery eg your headphones or nice magazine, nice toiletries. Good luck.

Gigondas- thanks for you comments about unis. (I also note your dad being a GP - mine was too! Although he died many years ago so I didn't have the problem of telling him about my BC) Ds has offers from Manchester, Bath and Newcastle. Manch is his preference at the moment as it hs a good reputation for CHem Eng. He liked Bath very much but decided afterwards he'd been overimpressed by the sports facilities (which are indeed amazing) Personally I liked being in a city-based uni as I think I'd have found a campus a bit claustrophobic - any he does have some choices. The Imp Interview is at the end of the month as first date offered clashed with Cam.

KK - any comments from the person you know at Imp wd be great - thanks. I'm sorry your DD is still looking for work - hope she's resilient?

Figgy - really sorry you've been feeling low. Generally I seem ot have escaped the post treatment lows, except when a friend here died of BC - that hit me really hard. Did you read that article about moving - KK posts it now and again - quite helpful read. If you don't know the ones I mean I'll dig it out. I think I am generally so busy that I block it out really - not sure if I've dealt with it or not! But it doesn't seem to get in the way for me, and I did as the nurses told me at my last checmo when I was in floods (of relief) and they said to 'trust the treatment'. I think being a Dr's daughter I do tend to trust the treatment - perhaps more easily than others. Naive but helpful!!

Have you got something this year to look forward to? A nice holiday/occasional visit to a dear friend perhaps - are you treating yourself as you would a close friend if you were looking after her?

Better stop - thanks all for comments re uni's. DS seems fine really - he's just come in bearing an awesome chocolate cake he's made with his girlfriend so have to go now!

Original poster
MaryAnnSingleton · 04/02/2012 17:16

welcome LEMONAIDE - something loose and comfy,definitely..do feel you can say how you feel on here- it is a scary thing to have to go through I know.

Thnks for birthday wishes for my mum- amjust making my cupcakes,have rather over done the first lot, have eaten quite a few to test them... do you know if buttercream can be frozen to use later ?

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Gigondas · 04/02/2012 17:27

I am pretty sure it can be Frozen- its ones with cream rather than butter that don't. What flavour did you go for?

The positive thinking sounds good- I am struggling (ESP when sleep deprivation
Catches up) with the thoughts of being the end etc (also got the letter following up from appt that described tumour as high level which scared me.

But I guess that means what I knew - its cancerous and needs treatment. But lovely afternoon with dd1 (whilst dd2 and dh slept watched rugby) was marred by thinking about leaving her. I assume this is normal and eventually you work it through so deal with these fears.

No snow yet here much to dd1 disappointment (also her saying we can make a snowman if your hip is better breaks my heart Sad)

sandripples · 04/02/2012 17:51

Gigondas, yes you will get through those awful mind-swirling times - honest. The first few weeks after Dx I was in despair but you find a way to deal with one step at a time, and with what you know - whereas at first you are trying to work through every possible awful scenario which leaves you reeling and exhausted. One good friend who'd dealt with cancer before me told me it was a great asset if you didn't panic. And although panic is only controllable to a limited extent these were wise words.

I must say I also saw some revised stats for BC survival recently and they were so encouraging and better even than 2 years ago when I foolishly looked on a scary site. Keep away from scary web-sites. Good luck.

Original poster
MaryAnnSingleton · 04/02/2012 18:01

chocolate cupcakes with vanilla buttercream Grin...

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pranma · 04/02/2012 18:09

Just checking in on the new thread :)

Original poster
MaryAnnSingleton · 04/02/2012 19:12

hello pranma and waves to SR
My arm is aching from beating the cake mix- I don't like kitchen gadgets and stubbornly mix the old fashioned way- it took ages today (I did double quantity) I also made a huge mess.
Monday is my minor surgery day - off to the GP again for it- am feeling braver this time Grin (newbies - don't worry,it's nothing to do with cancer,just a bump which needs attending to) (and I am hopeless with blood or any suggestion that there might be blood)

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KurriKurri · 04/02/2012 19:17

Hello Pranma Smile

MAS I clicked on 'threads I'm on' and your post came up shortened to 'My arm is aching from beating t' - I thought 'oh dear what on earth has he done?' Grin

sandripples · 04/02/2012 21:57

Hi Prnma, hope you're well?

MAS - I think hand-beating is best for cakes. My electric hand mixer doesn't really do as well. I think its not a very good one and when I use it the cakes come out a little heavy. Sometimes I fantasise about one of those wonderful machines like Nigella's....

LEMONAIDE · 04/02/2012 22:37

Thanks to everyone for their feedback...I had to chuckle at DH helping to keep me calm. He came the first couple of times and Id say "I need floor x block Y" and he'd go "floor Y and block x"....in the end I said to him (cross) " you really ARENT helping at all!"

Still he is coming this time as its day surgery someone has to take me home and I wouldnt want anyone else and he will worry himself silly if he is left at home.

Im only stressing because ive been back and forth to the doctors for years with mahoossive tiredness which they never got to the bottom of...have had a mixture of "you've got children" "try vitamin...." blood tests, urine tests etc. etc. and finally gave up and just accepted it. I guess this has given me something to focus on and blow up way bigger than it probably is as being the "cause" iykwim.

LEMONAIDE · 04/02/2012 22:40

Oh and I went through my wardrobe and discovered that "loose" doesnt seem to feature much Blush may have to steal something from DH

Original poster
MaryAnnSingleton · 04/02/2012 23:07

I wore a silly very tight shirt to my surgery,simply because it did up at the front,but actually it was a very silly thing to wear.
Have just had a message from my friend who had her treatment at same hospital to say that someone we know is in the hospice and hasn't much time left -I'm very shocked as i didn't know -I met her in the autumn when I took my artwork for the local bc charity Christmas card to them -she looked/seemed fine (she is under the same surgical team/bcns as me and my friend) - shit.

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holstenlips · 05/02/2012 00:33

Very sorry to hear that MAS, that must have come as a shock. Cancer really is a shit.
I'm having a wobble tonight. I'm single, but have met someone and fallen in love. Great, but how can I expect a man my age (40), to put up with this? Cancer. Cancer that affects sex so much. He is super lovely about it. But I feel like half a woman. It's early days, I shouldn't be thinking of this. Sex hasn't even been mentioned to me by any of the medical staff I've seen. Is it not talked about?
Sorry for being so mememe!
I'm on my phone so can't easily read thread back. I hope everyone is doing ok.

anonymosity · 05/02/2012 04:03

my mum was given tamoxifen and it grew her shrinking tumour, it encouraged the growth of a 2nd (and then, by golly a 3rd) much suffering over 15 yrs and mind-altering too. Nasty stuff.