Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

***TAMOXIFEN number 19***

995 replies

MaryAnnSingleton · 31/01/2012 16:41

ta daa !

OP posts:
puffinnuffin · 16/02/2012 10:01

Hi there. I hope you don't mind me joining in. I am concerned about my Mum. She is 64 and went for a routine scan. She was diagnosed with Breast cancer last Tuesday and then had an operation on Thursday to have the lump removed. It has all happened extremely quickly and very unexpected as she had no symptons etc. It's all abit of a shock although she is trying to remain positive. She said she may have to have another operation/chemo as it wasn't straight forward and in an awkward place. She won't know until her follow up appointment next week. Apparently the lump was very small and they have caught it early but it depends what type of cancer she had.

What should she expect and how best can I help her get through this and support her please? I am imagining she will be out of action for quite some time.

You all sound like amazing ladies who have been through such alot so I hope you don't mind me asking for advice. Thank you.

KurriKurri · 16/02/2012 10:04

OOps x-posted Holsten, - don't panic about the back pain, - you've been through big surgery, you'll still have a lot of bruising inside and out, and I've always found with previous gynae ops, I've had that aches and pains come out for a while afterwards - because they yank your legs all over the place while you're under the GA.

Another thing that gave me a post op back ache, was a urine infection - so I'd just be aware of that possibility, esp. if you feel poorly or have pain on weeing.

amberlight · 16/02/2012 10:17

Brew would be lovely, KK. Enjoy that housework Grin

I still feel peculiar. Clears by the afternoon but really odd in the morning at the moment. Hmm.

Hi Puffinuffin. Horrible shock for your mum and for the rest of you too. No one answer to that question. 9 out of 10 breast cancer lumps are well behaved, so there's good odds, but she might not know a full set of answers for three months (as the tests take a long time to complete). Support - ask what helps, treat her as normally as you ever would but mindfully of tiredness or snappiness because of all of this. And be gentle with yourself too. It's a whole new sort of normal after this kind of diagnosis, and it takes time for us to work out how to tackle life again. Mine was in a tricky place too but they got it. Lots of us here to support you all. Your mum is very welcome to join in too? Brew?

KurriKurri · 16/02/2012 10:19

Hello and welcome puffin, - so sorry to hear about your mum, - she's had an awful lot happen to her in a very sort space of time, so she'll be feeling very shocked and a bit bewildered I imagine.

It sounds good that they think they have caught it early, I know its very hard waiting and not knowing, and she will probably feel a bit less panicky once she knows what her treatment plan is.

I would guess (although I'm obviously not an expert) that what type of cancer it is will determine whether they think she needs chemo, - with some of the faster growing types they may offer chemo just as a sort of 'mop up' job, to be extra safe, also the fact that it was in an awkward place will influence their decision. (IME they have interdisciplinary meetings between surgeons and oncologists where they discuss the best treatment plan for each individual, so they will be working out the very best plan for her).

Its tough - especially as she doesn't know what's happening yet. She'll be feeling sore from her surgery and it can take up to a couple of weeks to get the GA out of your system. Plus it's emotionally a hard time - very common and normal to feel a bit down, or weepy at times.

Does she have someone to go to appointments with her? - a bit of moral support is very helpful IME, also a second pair of ears - it's sometimes hard to take in everything they say when you're feeling a bit scared and overwhelmed (writing things down is a good plan too)

You sound like a lovely daughter, who will be a great support for her Smile - its really often a case of getting through it all bit by bit, - deal with each bit of treatment as is comes along, and try not to get too ahead of yourself thinking of all the 'what if's'

loads of good wishes to your mum - and you too. You are very welcome here, hope we can help a bit (and of course your mum would be very welcome if she is a computery person Smile)

KurriKurri · 16/02/2012 10:20
KurriKurri · 16/02/2012 10:21

that should say Grin - no one wants a 'bug hug'!

MaryAnnSingleton · 16/02/2012 10:24

waves to kk and amber and welcome to puffin - sorry to dash off again- will see you all later-take care -shall I bring you back some dough balls ? x

OP posts:
Sometimesiwonder · 16/02/2012 11:45

Oh MAS, really, need you ask? I love dough balls [bloater]

Amelia - I agree with the others: two weeks won't make any difference to the outcome, but is can seem like a bloody long time to wait when you are worried. If a shortcut is available, personally I would take it.

Puffin - welcome to you too. What a big shock for your Mum. It has all happened so fast, she is bound to be emotional. Treating herself well, with lots of rest, treats and distractions like nice trips out when she feels up to it, are the best way forward. If it is small and caught early that is terrific, even if it was in an awkward place and more is needed. Several of us here have had additional bits of surgery for one thing or another - that is very tiring, but it is do-able, as is all the possible follow-up treatment. It is just a long old slog, with lots of emotional stuff to deal with: you'll be able to help with a lot of that, and we probably can a bit, too.

Waves to everyone else. x

For the next 48 hours I am home alone as dh and dd have gone away for a couple of days to visit family. This is the longest I have had to myself since before she was born (apart from time in hospital, which SO doesn't count). I hope it doesn't sound too hard hearted when i say I am quite excited. I have deliberately planned nothing at all.

Sometimesiwonder · 16/02/2012 11:45

PS - MAS - very, very well done with the blood thing. I am impressed.

KurriKurri · 16/02/2012 11:53

Ooh - I'd be excited too Sometimes, how nice Smile

how did DD get on at the Doctor's?- everything Ok I hope.

Yes please to dough balls MAS (hope you have a large handbag Grin)

topsyturner · 16/02/2012 12:21

Afternoon All

Was up very late last night , so managed to sleep in till nearly 11.30 today !
DC slept in aswell , which was great .

Ned on my frst chemo I wasn't able to do anything the next day as I was very sick . As kK said it is different for everybody . But by 10am the next morning I was back in the chemo unit having an anti sickness driver set up .
But within an hour of having that set up I was having lunch and drinking tea . It was a wonderful thing . And from then on they put one up for me with every chemo . I kept it for 5 days post every chemo and the district nurses came out and refilled it every day .
The important thing is to make sure you phone the chemo unit (they will give you a card with a 24 hour phone number on it) if you are feeling sick . If you don't tell them , they can't help you !

Welcome to all our new ladies , there's a fair few of you recently . (I am very sad to see this , I wish there was no need at all for this board !)

Mas enjoy lunch . I too am worried re the capacity of your handbag as I can put away a large number of dough balls !

kk suitcase is sitting at the end of my bed , completely empty ! Eeeeek , think I had better get packing !

Have headache today , so along with Cancer Of The Knee I now also have Cancer Of The Forehead Grin

Pig/dog barking his head off in the garden , better go and investigate ...
Later Ladies .

Sometimesiwonder · 16/02/2012 12:40

Topsy, get packed woman [stern]

Dd got on OK at the GP's, thanks KK. He siad she has not had one really bad and lingery bug, she has had lots in succession. He has given her one of those blue ventolin inhaler things for when she feels breathless and, after many tears, we have cracked how to administer it (she is a wuss). Mind you, she wanted it at 4 this morning - I told her in no uncertain terms from under my duvet to turn on her side and go to sleep.

Driftwood999 · 16/02/2012 12:54

Have a lovely time Topsy, I like the dress.
and runs away.

Gigondas · 16/02/2012 14:35

Topsy get packing and stop worrying . Also Holsten agree re gynaecologist ops can pull you about but also you may be lieing/sitting awkwardly to protect the op site.

Sometimes poor dd- I need inhalers only when sick too .

Mas any Nutella doughballs?

Am feeling very low (tired and just resting) and down today. Rang my therapist to cry as just finding it so hard to focus on now and getting better and not be scared of future. And got letter from oncologist which Reiterated our visit (and is actually out of date as has seen scans/have had op) but said would need radio therapy and poss chemo. I know this and I am still so scared. I guess am where you are Ned a few weeks Ago as don't know what margin are , next steps are and it is all scary.

I am so pleased to be home but so overwhelmed with it all'- I am just so scared for the girls. And I know dh as scarf but being so brave .
Sorry not expecting a magic wand but just needed to vent

Gigondas · 16/02/2012 14:36

Scared not scarf

Sometimesiwonder · 16/02/2012 14:50

Gig - Sad It is hard, but honestly, you will feel better when you have more answers. Take one day at a time and try not to sweat the 'what ifs'. That is extremely hard to do, but it saps so much of your energy. It'll be fine, you'll see. I'm not saying you won't need some treatment and that it won't be a slog, - just that you'll cope Smile

NedSchneebly · 16/02/2012 15:01

Big hugs for you gig am totally feeling where you are right now. It's just the waiting, when you're feeling a little bit better, and you are keen to find out what's around the corner, and you just can't see the way ahead. Once you've got a plan it is easier to see the way ahead, even if a scary and uncertain in a different way. I am bricking it for Monday, but at least I have a plan and a timescale to focus on. With no idea of what's going to happen next it's terrifying. sometimes is right - it does sap your energy and breaks into all your thoughts, even when you're doing something else, and, for me, in the middle of the night. . . Hang on in there, lovely. It will get easier when you have more information about treatment plans. Believe that the specialists are trying to formulate the best plan for you.

sometimes does your dd have a spacer attachment for her inhaler? If not, I would suggest you drum your heels on the floor until you get one. It makes it so much easier to take it efficiently and there isn't so much of an issue with timing the breaths in with pressing the aerosol.

MaryAnnSingleton · 16/02/2012 15:31

unloads doughballs...I don't think I could cope with nutella and doughballs, separately yum though ! Was v nice though friends had to rush back on train so youngest could go to a roller disco- so we were only together for a short while.
Hugs for those feeling anxious and worried about the future and treatments - am sure it'll feel better once things get started-the unknown is so scary.
Have fab time topsy !!
sometimes hope dd feels perkier soon- and has a nice time away- enjoy your time to yourself- I did when my boys were away last half term !
Dashing off again into town to go to p. office and bank

OP posts:
Sometimesiwonder · 16/02/2012 15:37

Ned - thank you, yes she does have a spacer Smile

I meant to say to you, about Monday - all the advice everyone gave about water, pineapple, ginger etc was what I would have said. So I can only add, if you haven't already, get a digital thermometer and take your temperature every day. I did not have a bad time on FEC at all, but there was one occasion where I thought i just had a bit of a cold, but the thermometer sent me rushing to the hospital. Just as well, because it was swine flu, and it was at the very worst point in the chemo cycle, when my immunity was totally crashed. So that is my top tip to you. Seriously, the whole yukky process is unlikely to be anywhere near as bad as you think. x

Sometimesiwonder · 16/02/2012 15:38

Scoffs doughball. As the King henry VIII character says on Horrible Histories - Eeny, meeny, miny, big one.

Ilovegeorgeclooney · 16/02/2012 15:59

Dough balls mmmmmmmmmmm
My DH had a saying about chemo: Day 1 breakfast in bed; day 2 tea in bed; day 3 get your arse out of bed! It is really individual but he always insisted on me getting fresh air and going for at least a short walk/drive on the 3rd day and after, it helped me although when the fatigue kicks in it is difficult. Gig take care and thinking of you, as others have said the waiting is terrible.
Just been for a long tramp, walked past a cottage to find myself and the dog being barked at by two dogs on the pitched roof!!!!! Only in rural IW!

NedSchneebly · 16/02/2012 18:08

Those of you who might remember me talking about DSs genetic disorder up thread a while back, I just wanted to share. . . . he has managed to produce ANOTHER TOOTH! That makes three altogether, and he is so chuffed! For those who are completely confused, DS has a complicated genetic thing where his teeth haven't grown properly, and we weren't expecting him to ever have any more naturally. Think the tooth fairy might have to come with the arrival of a tooth, rather than the departure. . . !

And smear test came back normal. . . . phew!

Sorry, just felt the need to share Blush

MaryAnnSingleton · 16/02/2012 18:27

oh that's brilliant news on both counts ned !!!and I love your doggies Smile (ned posted pictures of her hounds on fb for me- my friend Malcolm is always cross with me when I say how much I'd like a dog etc because he worries that Celeste would be mauled and one of my SILs always says boring things about dog poo)

OP posts:
holstenlips · 16/02/2012 19:03

Great news Ned, you better put some pennies under DS pillow tonight then , and fab to have a normal smear, its always a worry that one isn't it.

Like the rhyme about doughballs sometimes, made me chuckle! Hope dd recovers soon , its really tiring having a poorly kid.
Gig, sympathies and empathies to you, it must be a huge worry for you, all I can offer is virtual hugs. I had a bit of a meltdown myself this afternoon. Tears when I got the letter for next app with oncsurgeon.2 weeks time. It sounds mental but I just thought to myself, I don't want to do this anymore. A friend came with her dd to play with my dd, so I snapped out of it fairly quickly.
Don't want to bring anyone down, everyone on here is marvelous and I'm truly grateful to be able to spout my cr*p on here without judgment. Glass of wine tonight I think.

KurriKurri · 16/02/2012 19:27

Hi all - I've spent the afternoon asleep Blush - (thyroid strikes again) and I still feel really tired.

Hugs to everyone having a down day, - it is par for the course, but I doubt it helps much being told that. I don't think people who haven't been there really understand how exhausting all the thinking, rethinking and over thinking can get Sad - I know some people swear by relaxation tapes and classes at this stage, just to give your mind a rest. Hospitals and cancer support centres sometimes run classes, meditation tapes can help. I think I'm waffling here but I do sympathise greatly, - it's so shitty all of this

Well done Ned junior on his new tooth - how exciting for him, I think the tooth fairy should definitely call in tonight Smile
Good news about the smear too.
What kind of dogs do you have Ned? (I have a very elderly Jack Russel Grin)

Sometimes - I'm glad the Doc gave DD something, - inhalers area bit tricky to start with, -( I think my DD was a similar age when she got one) - but hopefully she'll find it helps her.

Oh and excellent advice that Sometimes gives about the thermometer - I completely forgot about that, and its probably the most important thing! Blush

Glad you enjoyed your lunch MAS. ILGC - your DH's advice about fresh air was spot on I think, - its an effort but it really helps, even if you can only get to the bottom of the garden and back.

topsy,- have you packed yet?