***TAMOXIFEN number 19***

[MaryAnnSingleton]

ta daa !

Have Jaffa cakes and Green and Blacks burnt toffee too, if that's any better, topsy ?

Love 'decolletage' - I solve my false booby flashing problems with 'something lacy underneath' topsy, - one of those bras with a little lace insert or a vest top. (Mind you I am a bit older than you and queen of the 'many layers' approach to fashion - so feel free to ignore my suggestions! Have you tried the scary folk experts in S and B?

Well done to your DS on his good report - hope the parents evening goes well.

Hope the fluid appointment goes well tomorrow Ned - is that for draining? I did have a long sleep, but think it has made me more tired, - I'll feel better when my thyroid settles down again, atm I'm all over the place.

hot choc. for me too please jane. What are yogurt sticks? - they sound nice. Aldi is brilliant for fbs, but ours is along way out from us, so I don't often get there. (also DH finds the speed at which they whizz everything through very scary )

I x-posted with you earlier SR - very good advice for NeenooksDh, hope all is well with you

I've got yoga and art club tomorrow, and having lunch with a friend - looking forward to it. I've also got to find something to donate to a silent auction to raise funds for another group I go to - no idea what to take - maybe I could make a cake tomorrow night.

DH has just hoicked a huge chunk of biscuit from under my computer keys and said 'no wonder it never bloody works properly'

The strawberry yoghurt sticks are milk chocolate with a creamy filling -ds's favourite. They are not as healthy as they sound, Topsy. The chilli choc is for me, I like the dark chocolate that Aldi do, small bars so I can take a little one to work for a choc fix. I've also got some pistachios, but I'm not sure if they count as fbs! Nighty night everyone, I mustn't stay up any later, work tomorrow...

arf @ biscuit kk -I'm always sweeping crumbs off my keyboard
Well done to junior topsy - clever thing
A friend of mine lives opposite the lido at Hampstead and some nutters brave folk are swimming in the mornings there.

My friend has pm'd me about her friend at the hospice,and yes,sadly she has died.

Kurri, that could have been my DH saying that.

Ned, sorry I was a day early. Still tomorrow sounds a bit of a day too. Smears are yuk, but v.good to get it done and dusted.

at Topsy. If it makes you feel any better, I have a Quasimodo type hump where one of my implants has decided to capsular contract. Hooray for baggy jumper weather and for your v.clever DS.

Have made myself stop working - am in a faff as it's half term and DS of course is off on Friday due to inset day, so have to plough through lots before he's home. The woman who went to the lido is working with me on a joint project - first time I'd met her was today and she's already made me feel feeble - might have to jog into our next meeting in shorts or something fearless.

hope smear test is quick and not horrid ned- I'd rather have my bit of minor surgery than endure a smear again- am sure you are much more sensible and less wimpish than me.

Hi ladies, my DH posted earlier on this thread for some advice.

He's gone up to bed now after composing a long post thanking you all personally, then managed to delete rather than post it! So on behalf of both of us a huge thank you for all your advice tonight- it's so good for him to hear from others who have been there or who are going through similar things.

You are all wonderful x

Sorry to hear about your friend MAS, very sad news.
Good luck for smear Ned, best be safe tho, lie back and think of England and all that.
Smee, your lido friend has my respect but..brrr!
Hello to newcomers
Hope Gig going ok tonight.

Neenook hello- thanks for that- hope NeenookDH will stick around with us - you're both really welcome

So sorry about your friend's friend MAS

Good luck with the smear Ned.

Well done on walking to school Holsten - to have managed that when you were in such pain so recently is a real achievement

And well done on going to the NCT coffee morning Gig, I'm glad you were able to chat with a friend

Neenook - your DH is very welcome, - and no worries - I did that deleting a long post thing yesterday! I hope you are taking care of yourself too, - cancer is tough if you are going through it, and sometimes even tougher if you are the loved one looking on (my DH said he felt so helpless at times), so hugs to you too

MAS x-posted. to hear about your friend. I hope the end was peaceful. I will light a candle for her to burn bright.

Neenook tell your Dh he's v.welcome - v.lovely of him to try to post. Hope you'll spend some time with us -it really does help.

Night all zzzz (hopefully..)

Mas so sorry for friend.
Holsten good news for walk -I know how a small thing like that now means a lot.
Topsy- your clever son
Ned- good luck with smear and Friday appt.

Surgery set for Friday pm- got to go in for midday then will be in for a while (4/5days probably) . And will take some knitting Topsy to hElp give me something to do.

Am just focussing on resting eating (Choc and fbs yes , not sure about healthy graze type snacks ). My mum/nanny (who has been amazing) doing all childcare tomorrow so I am planning to sleep. So I do listen to advice (and have that cd on order Mas). Also fact that my mum , dad (they are divorced), nanny etc are rallying round to look after kids and help dh makes me feel better about leaving them ( dd can visit but dd2 so small that wary of having her with me outside a specialist post natal ward with its infection controls).

Dh seemed better tonight. We has a chat and I think some of things oncologist said worried him (just way she said it was bit blunt ESP re surgery ). I am as I said worried re surgery - main thing being it will be 3 weeks since scanned lump and may have grown (its certainly no smaller but hard to tell as obviously i am smaller post birth so therefore perspective changed). But I need to trust in surgeon and it is sitting on my bum cheek do accessible (even if as said some skin/muscle may go).

The other thing was lovely friend I mentioned earlier put me in touch with someone who had cancer of tongue. She also had young children (ds same age as my dd at dh , her youngest not quite 1). So talking to her ESP as had big surgery at same place I am was comforting. She echoed a lot of what you said about just getting well but didn't have much to add on treAtment as in the end she was lucky enough not to need radio therapy (although had such major surgery that took a long time to heal).
I only had one bad blip about the worst too- which is good. I am not going mad erc when I do this if I do imagine worst (eg funeral etc). I really think Mas idea of meditation will help.

Better go as feeding dd as I type .

RGig I note what you say about being wary of dd2 vissiting outside of postnatal ward setting. But this is why you should have a care plan as a "mother - baby dyad" I know that where I am, the chair of the mslc would help if you had trouble getting this care plan set up. It is good that you have support in place and have been able to talk to your dh.
It is normal to have at least one moment when you get a cancer diagnosis to think the worst and plan your funeral, especially in the early days when you are dealing with the unknown. They can do so much these days though, it is not the big C it once was.

Sorry to hear about your friend mas -sad news.

Hi neenook. We have all lost long posts one time or another, its frustrating isn't it. Hang around for some hand holding and the best fbs trolley on mumsnet.

Urgh smear ned. My last one wasn't as bad as I worried beforehand. The nurse had a bad back so had to approach from the end so I was right down the end of the couch legs unsupported knees in the air! Glad I got it done though, was overdue.

Well done for walking Holsten, no mean feat after all you have been through.

I don't often shop in Aldi, but when I am passing I go in and grab chocolate fruit and veg and honey and seeds for the garden. I end up at the till with no trolley and struggling to pack as normally they just chuck everything back in the trolley for you to sort out yourself and there is no room to pack at the till...

Thanks all for kind messages about friend's friend- she tells me that it was very peaceful and her family were with her. I put up a picture I'd done while designing the Pink Place's card -(on my facebook page) as a tribute-I hope that was ok - one feels a bit odd,not knowing her well but wanting to say something. Hoping to see my friend the day after the funeral as I shall be going to hospital with ds for his check up and blood test (yike) and we need to drop the newly printed cards off at the P Place (is based in Basingstoke) We'll go to the Costa and have coffee or lunch.
Gigondas I do hope the cds are helpful - will be thinking of you tomorrow and sending lots of love.

MAS, sad news about friend's friend.

and FBSs for everyone. Especially those with medical things today.

Sitting at home quietly waiting for minor nosebleeds to stop and upset tum to settle (same as every day on this herceptin stuff).

Morning All

Bit the bullet and posted on Style and Beauty . They are lovely , no one so far has recoiled in horror . Infact got some v good suggestions already .

So sorry about friends friend MAS , I know The Pink Palace means a lot to you .

Good luck for all those with appointments today .
Hope all goes smoothly for you .

Mini Brioche rolls anyone ?

G'ah, just typed a long post and lost it. Still was only waffling on, so not a lot lost..

Gigondas, tomorrow's soon (I know you know that!), though that's good too. Least it won't be hanging over you. V.unscientific this, but I'm wondering if it's similar to a mastectomy in some ways, as they're taking mostly tissue? If so, I hope it's the same pain wise, as I was amazed how little it hurt afterwards. Mind you, I didn't have to sit on it.. Have you got good things to distract you while you're in hospital?? I found podcasts and audiobooks on iPod good - always find it v.hard to read in hospital. Will you have internet access while you're there so we can distract you??

Ned, hope smear's not too icky and rest of the day goes well too.

MAS, I think that pic's perfect. Can't see how anyone would object, as it's a lovely tribute to her.

Amber, I thought the nose bleeds were over and done with. Didn't realise they were ongoing. Is there a pattern each time? Will they stop soon?

Topsy, you are brave venturing onto Style & Beauty. You ready for your wild weekend yet?

Waving to all others. Hope you're all okay and keeping warm. Got my first ever Skype conference call in a bit - bit miffed as it means they'll be able to see me. Have made a mental note not to sit in front of the pile of washing up. Might even push the boat out and brush my hair..

thank you smee and good luck with skype conference- Hope the card reaches you today...
Poor amber with nosebleeds again
My mum has sent me flowers today as a thank you for her birthday celebrations- aww-she'd already got me chocolates too..isn't she kind.
Righto,cleaning and work.

mini brioche please topsy !

mini nosebleeds, sensory loss in fingers, upset tum every day, aching every day, blood pressure up 20 points so have to have new bp tablets, etc etc. Herceptin hates me. And I'm getting tired. Not moaning, just explaining.
Yes please for the mini Brioche.

do you think you'll give up on it amber ? It sounds horrendous and is making life pretty awful at the moment.

Oh amber, tis misery making. I will find you something good on the fbs trolley

MAS - sorry about your friend, I too will light a candle as the next thing I do, may it burn brightly.

@ smee brushing her hair for skype call!

Dh out, so have turned up the heating, he will be able to tell though, as he keeps anal records of how much oil we are using. Will have to deny it later, and brush it off as really cold day.

amber, that doesnt sound good. what is herceptin

im giving up trying to keep up with everyones news, my brain is in a fug permananetly, I managed to send DD to school today in wellies with no shoes to change into, and i keep losing everything!

good luck for for tomorrow Gigondas, will be thinking of you all day. im glad you have a good family around you to help with the dd's (hugs)

topsy, your weekend sounds fun, have you found a dress?

smee a conference call sounds very scary! i would have to blitz my house/self before i did that!

im ok, have overdone it today. walked dd to school then made the mistake of going food shopping. the fatigue hit me mid-shop. got a taxi home and now im horizontal. have been signed off work for another fortnight (so will be a month in total this time) I agree Nee with the fatigue thing, its not like tiredness its a different ballgame.
still no appt letter for me ho hum.

fbs - lindt with caramel bits, its gorge, help selves all.