Rectocele & Repairs continued....

[CAZ1958]

Rectocele & Repairs...continuation

Hiya Ladies...
Don't know if this will work, above is the Subject Title
Don't want to lose my friends.
Will come back with a link if poss !!!
Fingers crossed
ZZZ

Hi again x
Jackie62- I hope you begin to feel better soon but as you so rightly said you have undergone 2 major ops in a mattter of months, dont know if I would have coped. I followed your posts avidly as I was unsure of the Tvt and up to the last minute did not know if I would consent. But the consultant I was under,via NHS (he does private consultancy) teaches techniques and is very prominent in the area of pelvic floor reconstruction. With his reasurance I went ahead. Around 2/3 wks post op I was very worried and thought I had made the wrong decision again reading your posts avidly, but it turned out to be issues with merina coil which has been removed. I hope you stay well and some of your issues are sorted. x
Bufft -I had official post op apt (1st was an emergency ie coil) yesterday and no speculum, although things seem well with me now so maybe this is why ?.
At 8wks post op I still feel tired and achey , especially around Tvt area if I have been on my feet for long periods, I take my hat off to all those ladies through circumstance who have to go back to work soon after ops , I am a nurse and on my feet for 12hr shifts . Luckily my GP has given me another sick line as my consultant has advised at least 12wks off ???. I didnt drive for 6wks again on his advice as in his words it is the muscles used for emergency breaking that they have cut into therefore insurance may not cover me . so obeyed ( which is really not like me lol). Oh and dito with the discharge 6wks before it stopped.
Hope all are doing well , I am a blether so will sign off now so much for keeping posts short lol x

Surewoman- took me so long to add my post, not the most computer literate lol. good luck with your assesment , hope all gets sorted and you feel better soon. XX

Happy, thank you for your feedback. I am really glad the Tvt is going well for you. I was so glad to hear your news as feeling very low today. It's been a struggle!
X

Hi folks, I'm glad to see others are getting through this (sadly not all as well as hoped, but keep plugging away!).. I only have to wait until 9.00 Thursday, and am praying the specialist is willing to rescue this damsel in distress! The pain has been horrific, and the warmest loo in the house has become my closest friend? of late! Thank God for the decent thriller my friend bought me! Good luck to you all, and as Happy a New Year as possible to all!

Good luck, nannasyl. We will all be thinking of you. I think you are seeing the Consultant? Let's hope its a smooth ride from here! Xx

Hi all, I apologise in advance for hijacking this thread but you guys may just be what I'm looking for!! For several years now I have suffered some v. Embarrassing symptoms which have got considerably worse over the last few months... I am in my mid 20s and have 2 children. I have now reached the point where I feel I have no option but to see my gp, however I don't want to go through the humiliation of allowing another person to examine a part of my body that I am so disgusted by... Did anyone else feel this strongly?! I know logically I am being stupid and a dr is the only person who can help but I can't seem to get over it in my own twisted logic!! For a long time I tried to ignore my problems and told myself that it's normal for my body to change after children and justified it in my head that my kids are worth any pain or suffering I may have to go through... And although I still think this I am also starting to ask myself y I should go thru this if it can be fixed?!??

Im really sorry for my ramblings!! I think I'm just trying to avoid my symptoms!! Lol. But right here goes...

I have a heavy feeling down below that get worse as the day goes on...
I have a large bulge at the entrance of my vagina which I have to push on in order to have a bowel movement (I can't 'go' otherwise, I'm constipated and bloated all the time and also have painful heammoroids which bleed at every bm)
And perhaps most embarrassingly of all my vagina seems to have got wider and more 'open', resulting in utter humiliation during sex (back when I actually had some sort of sex life) due to air getting trapped and generally feeling like I have the grand canyon down there!!!
I've also started bleeding between periods... Just a pinkish discharge in my knickers but when I go to the toilet there is blood on the tissue when I wipe myself (it's def from my vagina and not my piles)

Luckily I have a v. Supportive husband but even he can't be much help when I'm feeling like a total freak!!! So I was hoping u guys could answer a couple of questions I have...

Does anyone relate to my symptoms? I know you aren't Drs but from ur personal experiences does it sound like a rectocele?? If so does it sound mild or severe?!?? I know it seems a silly question but I have lost any take on what is considered normal below the waist!!!?

Can I be fixed?? I am by no means a sex fiend but I miss the intimacy with my husband... Would surgery on my rectocele (if that's what it is!!) tighten me down there??

I know this us a long and rambling post so sorry guys but if u made it this far thank you for reading... x

Ifonly please go to your Dr, nobody should be suffering pain just because they have had children! Surgery isn't always the only option, if its not too bad you can have a ring/pessary put in. The longer you leave it the worse it will get. Be brave!

Surewoman I'm sorry to hear you have to go back in, but at least you're being seen quickly.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Ok, so not maybe the best place, but having had a wee scan of this thread, I figured you lovely ladies might be able to provide quick answers.

Am a sufferer of prolapse x 3 (U/C/R - in that order). So far, none are too bad that they are rushing me off to surgery just now and cons wants me to wait until it is so bad that any bad surgery results would be better. So far, apart from the mental side of things (the, 'Why me? I'm not that old' occasional cries) things are not too bad on a daily basis.

However, 2 things I have a question on:

1. Exercises - I know they will/do help a lot, esp with cyst and control. But, I got the recommended 'cones' from Boots but when I use them I tend to bleed the next day. Not heavy, but still annoying. Doc says this is normal. However, I don't like it. Any other suggestions for pel fl exercises other than just squeezing it myself?

1. I have had stomach probs over last year (since prolapses diagnosed) with bloating and constipation. Feel like sometimes...err...things are a bit stuck round a bend.....have mentioned to GP, gynae and gastro and dietician (cept gynae others are trying to sort out tummy) and none seem to think any link. What's your experience?

Hope you can help.

Am sad that I didn't know about prolapses before DS and that woman after woman will go through this in silence. It's madness. Big hugs to you all.

Hi cocolepew, I know I need to see a doc but I just can't get in the right mindset, how do I let a stranger take a long and detailed view of something I feel so ashamed of....?!! Again I knOw it's not logical and it's not ny fault but I can't help but feel like my body has failed, I brought 2 beautiful children into this world, which I took massive pride it but it seems nOw that my body wasn't upto the task... Now I'm just wallowing in my own self pity but I can't get over the fact that I have failed at being a woman, a mother and now I can't even be a good wife and not just sexually, my husband puts up with so much, my insecurities overwhelm me which in turn takes it toll on him...

Anyway, I suppose I posted on here in an attempt to find out what theoretically what's next for me and what I could expect when I go to the docs (which I will do! I promise!! Lol)

I know it seems strange but I have seriously forgot what 'normal' lady parts are and how a bm should actually take place/complete!!

And hoopsadaisy o totally agree about women suffering in silence as ashamed as feel I know it is not justified and there is a part of me that just wants to shout what I am going thru from the rooftops, just in the hope that someone else would benefit and feel as tho thy can get their problems sorted. But I can't get over the stigma that's attached to lady problems!!! And vaginas, I just keep thinking of the greasy kfc bucket jokes and the fact that now it's me!!! Lol ---- have to laugh or god knows how I wud have got this far!!! Lol

I do think there is not enough help with the mental side of things. You do feel rubbish, alone, like your body has failed you, it inevitably puts a strain on relationships as it affects sex, even if it is just your own thoughts about how things are not 'right' down there.

I get upset and envious of women who seem to breeze about without a care saying, 'oh yes, can't wait to have another one!' and then I get cross that we have decided to stop at one as I can't face a c-section and inevitable a repair op being brought forward and the impact it would have. DS one was a v tricky baby and I know that I could face some serious PND if things were as bad as the first. Am cross that all this has affected my life plan. But still, could have been worse.......!!

Morning Ladies & Welcome to all the new ladies.
I have been quiet recently but following the posts just to see how everyone is getting on.
I am about 4 wks post-op now & think that I have been very lucky so far. Bleeding has stopped, only taking meds at night I just have the discharge as mentioned by "Mumtoreece". Not overdoing it but pottering etc Just ache underneath/uncomfortable now & then.
BUT..........OMG I am hurting so much this morning, I can barely sit !!!
So...is this normal , perhaps the stitches etc ???

Good Luck surewoman & bruffyj, how did your check go ???
Oh to be a woman...
XXXXXXXXXXXX

Ifonly when I saw my own Dr she put a spectlum (?) in (like when you have a smear) and had a peek up! That was all it took for her to see, it was over in 30 seconds. GO!

Caz sorry you're in pain, maybe your idea of pottering is overdoing it?

I was so sore and sick last night I went to Primark today and bought some nighties, I'm convinced I'm going to end up in hospital

Hiya....
Thanks coco...I have been very careful but got to see the doc this afternoon at 4.50pm !!! So DON'T want to be touched down there but no choice
He phoned me & said it might be stitches pulling or the start of infection.
Got to have a lookie !!! OMG !!!
Nothing wrong with getting some nighties, just in case !!!

Dear ifonly, I agree with coco, they can tell really quick & it is over so fast, then they can start to sort things out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hi IfOnly, and all, how many times have we all seen/felt that it is very embarrassing to have to talk to ANYONE about our bowels etc. Isn't it sad that this gets worse and worse, and relationships and lives are so strained because of it! I have had many Asian neighbours who are far more open about these things, and it has helped me to be more open when I see the doctors. However, it hasn't helped the NHS to acknowledge that it happens. I was told it was IMPOSSIBLE, after plucking up the courage to see them. Perhaps if more of us brave the embarrassment, they may realise how common it is! Speak out, and get your life back! Good luck!

Just lost a really long post, grrr!

Hi if only and hoopsadaisy:
My advice to you both is to read the previous threads 'mums net rectocele' and it's continuation. This may take time but it will arm you with all the necessary info and knowledge to begin your journey.
PLEASE do not feel embarrassed about anything. It sounds like you will need some of the embarrassing tests in order to work out what has happened. EMBRACE each and every one of them, they reveal important information and help you go forward. I have had a very long journey, I hope yours will be shorter, and I have definitely lost my dignity big time several times along the way. Try to keep it all in perspective, YOU are both VERY IMPORTANT and deserve good quality care and diagnosis, and once that is sorted you will need surgery to try and restore things. We are never quite as nature made us after surgery but then again we have had beautiful children along the way.
PLEASE put embarrassment in a bag at the door as you approach each test!
Have a good cry with a friend, come on this site for support as you go along and everything will be fine in the end. Keep an eye on the end result: being able to poo without assisting... being able to have sex without feeling baggy and making funny noises....being able to laugh without wetting yourself...

Coco and Caz... Sit down and have a cup of tea. Don't do anything... Hope everything is okay with you both.

List of embarrassing words:
Anus
Rectum
Splinting ( assisting a poo by placing a finger in the vagina to move it along)
Anal fissures
Sex
Incontinence, both ends!
Bowel
Vagina
Pelvic floor
Rectocele
Enterable
Cystocele
Intercourse

Add more as required!! Xx

Nannasyl, you and I are obviously thinking on the same page!!!

Another word

Bowel
Xxx

makatka - how's it going?? Been thinking of you.... XX

Hi, Jackie62, thanks for the list! It's the embarrassed reluctance which keeps us in pain, as much as the ignorance/arrogance of the health "professionals". I know I couldn't say such words as "penis/vagina" for years, as a result of my upbringing, and this probably delayed my efforts to really get someone to listen. I'm 56, and have suffered increasingly for 20+ years! so my message, to all you younger women out there is " you are entitled to a life, insist on the help you need to get it, and make it easier for each and every one who will surely follow in your footsteps!"

On a lighter? note, what is this "being able to have sex" lol

Hi all, message for Hoopsadaisy - You don't have to be seen by your GP if he is male; ask at the surgery for the "best" female GP/Gynae as it makes a massive difference.

I found all I had to say to her was can you look and tell me if this appears normal. She was great and said "I can see what you mean - it's probably prolapse" and then she started talking about splinting, BMs, leaking, etc. so I didn't have to mention anything other than nod in a knowing way .

There and then she organised for me to see a consultant before I had time to digest anything, saying it was better to let someone look who only deals with this sort of thing! It actually made me feel a lot more normal and less freakish as she said 50% of women have the same problems after childbirth, but not many do anything about it and if symptoms are interfering with your daily life then why on earth should you have to put up with it in this day and age (think she must have been suffering from the same ).

On another note - I bought off the Amazon website a machine called itouch sure which I found fantastic to a. locate all your pf muscles and b. help a lot with stress and urge incontinence. It was so good that I got one for my sister for Xmas even though she doesn't have many symptoms but I reckon having had 4 children she won't be far behind me, lol!

To chear you all up - went for my pre-opp assesment yesterday, with a nurse, and I walked into the room and pulled down my trousers without so much as a thought, then realised my mistake as she just stood there looking confused saying she only wanted to weigh me and take my blood pressure . OMG how embarassing, lol! I guess I am so used to getting undressed in front of strangers now!

X

ps. If you go and see a consultant, do your homework first, like footle says read every single post on the old thread and type out your questions that you want to ask. Then you can give a copy to the gynae and read through them with him/her. But, write the answers down or you will forget afterwards and they become muddled.

I didn't do this, so went into the operation blind and have regretted it as all my pre-op questions I only had the opportunity to ask after the event (bit late by then ) xxx

Just wanting to thank u all for ur kind words and just really allowing me to vent! I know I have rambled on but u seem to have read and most importantly for me understood... I read the other threads but strangely there doesn't seem much about the sexual side of things?!?? Maybe I am a sex fiend afterall!! Lol

I think my posting last night was a massive step for me, strangely it was the first time I 'spoke' openly about my symptoms... I've never really seen the big deal with online forums an never quite understood how people can find support and comfort from words on a computer screen, but strike me down I think Iau have seen the light!! Lol

If u alldont mind I think I may become a regular here... ;-)

This board may just be the start of my journey...

I will be making an appt tomorrow and then take it from there... Footle, u kinda hit a nerve with me (in a good way!!) I have a 2 yr old daughter and wud never in a million yrs want her to go thru this... How can I expect her to be open and Frank in her future yrs when I can't even do it myself.,.?!? I want to set an example to her as difficult as it may seem right now....

What a difference 24 hrs makes eh?!??lol
Actually it hasn't even been that long has it...!!

Thanks Sure. I was given something similar to that by the physio. It helped find the muscles, which I can at least do some squeezes with, trouble is, I feel like I need something more. It says to use the itouch for 2 mths and then maybe after - wasn't sure if could/should continue using such a thing. Want something I can sort of say - right, it's Thursday, let's read a book for 20 mins and work on my pelvic floor. Otherwise, it does kinda get to the bottom of the list sometimes.

Have not been brave enough to discuss all this with my mum (who's had 4 kids so is likely in the same situation) because we are not that close and never discuss things like this. She'll go online and start sending me an article a day about it ifc I do, which not sure I can cope with. However, am worried about my little sister who has not yet had kids and seems to be delaying them in the belief the media out around that having kids in later 30's is great and even 40's is fine (this annoys me a bit). I know this is a condition that affects older mothers more and the consultant asked me if my mum had a prolapse as he believed there was a certain hereditariness (?) about these things, esp if you are under 50 when it happens. Since then I have read that a 'tipped' or 'retroverted(?)' (may have that wrong) uterus is more prone to prolapsing. I have/had one and so did my mum, so am worried sister may not know what's coming.

Not sure I should talk to her about it as I think I'd rather have known and been prepared and may have planned things differently, but not everyone's like that. This thread has made me think I should be brave enough to bring it up. Thoughts?