**t*a*m*o*x*i*f*e*n** number 14

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we go !

I think we all get those kind of head staggers occasionally Sparkle, and you have more on your plate than most, - the re aplying for his job must be pretty stressful for both of you - it seems mean to put people through that every year.

sending hugs, tea, slice of birthday cake and a cream scone

DeeScent pass the hot chocolate. I have a raspberry bun to go with it. Tiredness goes with diagnosis I think. Just part of how overwhelming it all is.

Hi to Mibster. Nice to see you here. Always good to hear of someone who's down the line and clear, though it sounds like you've had a very tough time. This thread's a great place to share all that. I'm 18 months on from diagnosis now, but this place has been a large part of keeping me sane.

Pink, sorry to hear about the lymphodaema. What a pain (in every sense). On weight loss, I lost lots too and I'm a bit of a thin person anyway, so it wasn't a good look. You're so nearly through though. Just get to the end of it all and let your body bloom back.

Topsy, spotted you have been given some treats to look forward to. Excellent and so very much deserved. How's your tooth now?

Your poor DH, Sparkle. Sounds mighty stressful. My DH had to have an interview to do a slightly different job than his own a few weeks ago - he'd been asked to do the job and nobody else had applied, but he still had to go through it all.

kurri, hope that cake's going down well. On a quick flick through, I see you're onto yearly appointments, so YEAY for you !!

janechocchip, (love the name change btw), hope your cat turns up soon. Mine's done that in the past, then sauntered in looking nonchalant. bet yours will do similar.

Forpitysake, I'd say wine is a help. A glass or two is surely medicinal? Hope you're doing okay today.

No time to post more, so waving to all others, Figgy, Amber, MAS, Cakes, ILGC sorry I can't post more. Wishing you all a good night.

ps: I asked the Surgeon and apparently I'm not more buoyant. G'ah !

sparkle, topsy can have someif she likes, have 2 boxes. 1st lot of ginger biscuits have come out a bit cakey - anyone want to help dispose of them?

Hi mibster it's so nice to hear from you and to hear you are all OK! What you have been through sounds awful.

Good advice about the BCC helpline. I've contacted them today by e-mail and hoping I'll get a call back tomorrow. I feel I need to talk through a few fears I'm struggling with while I'm waiting for the results. I feel like I'm in limbo and I'm getting pains - don't know if that's normal. Maybe I'm just more aware of them now that I know there's a lump there[sceptical]

3 weeks ago I was dismissing them and I have to remind myself they are not necessarily worse! It's in my mind.

sparkle I hope your DH's job application goes alright. That sounds like a nightmare for you both. You could do without the stress of that, couldn't you? But hopefully if it has been OK before then it will be again .

smee I still haven't had any wine!! Quite unlike me. Might have to pop to the corner shop and remedy this awful situation quick-smart. I love cold cheap white wine with lemonade. And crisps go really well. As does chocolate. As you can see, this is how I have got the lardiest arse.
Shame about no extra bouyancy

ooh jane yes please!

haha just realised what i did with the emoticon. should have been
should have the hang of this by now surely

Kurri - thanks for the very clear explanation of the exercises - I will give those a go. After previous surgery on my neck, I woke up with back pain that a physio had to sort out, so I'm just hoping exercises to stretch the muscle that will be extended during surgery might alleviate problems afterwards (???).

I think I just want a tiny bit of control in the whole process. It's quite step of faith to keep putting yourself in the hands of all these new HCPs, lovely and confidence-inspiring though they are.

Bit of boost today when the doc struggled to find the cancer on the ultrasound and called it "tiny". I like that word. Just cut the bleep out.

Smee, did you want whipped cream and cinnamon powder on your hot choc?

DeeScent - they should give you a leaflet with exercises on- I hate following instructions though so just cleaned the bathroom tiles by the shower every day- lots of stretching ! it worked as I have full use of my left arm -though it was mightily sore for ages afterwards. @ tiny !
Tomorrow is smear day- I am not looking forward to it one bit.

Good luck tomorrow MAS, - it'll be over quickly and you'll be relieved when it's done

Dee - I should also have mentioned swimming as a good thing - and probably a bit more fun than exercises.

Tiny is an excellent word, - good for you

thanks KK - will lie back and think of cake

Morning All

Good luck for your smear today mas . I remember once going for mine , assuming the position , and then the nurse (clamp in hand) said "this is the first time I have done one of these ..."

sparkle - at the image of me rugby tackling jane to the ground for her cat biscuits .

dee - tiny is definitely a great word . And my first thought was also "get this bastard thing out of me" . I was lucky that my surgery was quite soon after diagnosis , so I didnt have too much waiting to do . Although my first surgery date got bumped when I actually was in the bed waiting to go down to theatre as my surgeon called in sick , but that feels like ages ago now !

Who is handing out the hot choccie and gingerbread ? I have woken up starving this morning !

arf topsy !! and eeek...
gingerbread and hot choc for me when I get back please !

ROFL at "this is the first time i have done one of these..."

Hope is goes smoothly MAS.

hmmm i had a letter telling me smear overdue :( good luck mas.
kettle's boiled. You can have cakey ginger biscuits if you prefer topsy!
Just drove dd1 to school (late) How was I supposed to know she had a lesson at 8.30?

Hello janechocchip, yes I've now been on tamoxifen for a year (which reminds me must put my prescription in today) and I've been having Zoladex injections for four months now. All fairly easy going compared to chemo :-)
I'm not on herceptin.

oh lordy-am back and traumatised. The nurse was someone I know from ds's old school (we sat on a landscaping committee together) and she is also the one who saw my laid out after my blood test -arghh. She is very nice though but after 2 different speculums (specula ?) she said she was going off to get someone more experienced (!!) and returned with one of the female doctors who tried the smallest metal one and hooray -it worked. I tried relaxing and doing mindful breathing but it's as if my insides just clench up in shock. I'd've been mortified if I'd had to go back again....

Hi Mibster I've only recently started the tamoxifen and I have to remember to take it. Not sure whether SEs are real or in my imagination. Havefelt a bit warm at night a few times. Not on anything else.

xpost mas poor you. At least it's done now. Have a gin and a biscuit...

MAS, that is not nice. At least there's no return visit needed. Not very dignified being a lady, is it? Have a and tomorrow it will hopefully just be a memory.

yes indeed ! am off to buy a treat for me and the boy...

MAS - and men think they have it tough cos of prostate checks !!! Well done for getting through it, you were very brave. It made me sit here tightening my pelvic floor muscles, as last time I went to have one the speculum fell out as my muscles were so shot., that is EDS and three dc for you and cringe!

thanks sparkle- suppose I should be grateful for strong pelvic muscles !

I can't find mine.....

Bloody well done MAS! Long overdue and, while ghastly, it is at least behind you now. And you can be relieved over your pelvic muscles too

Hi all - Jupiter has gone in to school thank God - as she was going out the door she said 'Mum! There's a dent' (over hasty papier mache-ing is to blame). I told her it was a crater and to get the hell out the door

Pink - I am a bit that your weight loss is ongoing. The steroids do make a lot of people put on weight but, equally, they make you run a round like a loon, so they can make you burn it all off again. As smee says, get all the treatment done, then worry about getting your body in shape.

Smee, how that you aren't more buoyant! But are you pleased with your new look? Or is it too early to say?

Dee - the word 'tiny' in relation to any lump is magnificent. Hold on to that thought.