**tamoxifen the 13th**

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we are- anticipating halloween

shudder

There is a thread at the moment where a woman says she took her bobble out of her hair at the end of a long day , shook her hair out , and a massive spider fell out !

topsy runs screaming from the room .......

hello ! what a huge lot of posts ! have skimmed through - hooray for topsy and smee being put back a bit because she isn't a cancer patient-yay !
Saw Ambers nice photos of weekend on fb (btw amber- have sent a friend suggestion to you-it's my friend who is on the tamoxifen ten group on fb- her husband and eldest son are autistic and I was telling her about your really interesting notes on fb)I met this friend today to go to The Pink Place in Basingstoke's first birthday -they offer therapies and counselling for people affected by bc in the area - I have designed a Christmas card for them,so wanted to hand it in.
Have been feeling odd all day- hot and cold and just not quite right.Am meant to be seeing a friend for lunch tomorrow-she's coming from London- but might postpone. Didn't do any work or meditation,just lay on the sofa undrr my blanket. Managed to do my child minding- S in good form-we went to town -she is at the age where she asks loads of questions- what's a hospice ? (she'd put her change in a hospice collecting box) what is cancer, do children get it, 9/11 .... she has asked me about lesbians in the past... righto,bed time.
Love to all - hope pink is less sore,Earth too.
Celeste mangles spiders too- there are often large remains left for me to find.

Hi all, best wishes to everyone, sorry I am bypassing and not answering to any of the comments, but a thought has come to mind and wondered how your family deal with this.

I am constantly tired, so much so, I am a complete wreck and not helping around the home, not physically capable at the moment, etc. DH is being fantastic but how do your family cope, especially if/when it is over a long period? Do they get used to it, or do you push yourself to do more and carry on with life as you did pre diagnosis?

Hi stars, my advice would be to delegate as much as you need to, My DH took over things like cooking when I was feeling really exhausted. Don't push yourself to do more than you can - its counter productive, you will feel twice as fatigued the following day.

If you want to do stuff then pace yourself, do a little bit, then have a rest so you don't get too worn out.

I was of the mindset that the household would fall apart without me organising and doing everything - of course it didn't.

If you feel up to it, and want to do something then that's good, - it will probably make you feel better psychologically, you don't want to give up stuff you enjoy

But for the rest of the time, listen to your body, if its saying "delegate" then listen to it - the important thing is you getting better, and coping with your treatment.

I also think that spouses, family, friends tend to feel very helpless when a loved one has a cancer diagnosis, so the fact that they can do practical stuff to help you is helpful for them too.

stars, was wondering how you were. Are you still a bit yellow? Did you find out what was causing it? In terms of family, I'd imagine it's harder for you as you don't have a timeline. With me, I knew it would be op, then chemo for x weeks - rads for x weeks, then out the other side, which made it easier as everyone knew when. I think Kurri's right, as your family and DH love you and want to look after you, so let them - your job is to get through it all and then get better. Not sure if this will help or not, but one thing which I think really helped us, was finding moments to pause and just be together, so I used to buy bottles of champagne after big hospital appointments as an 'up yours' to cancer. Half the time I only had a sip, but it was life affirming and gave me time to let DH know how brilliant he was being. We also had our best friends round on Fridays - they'd turn up with a curry, so no cooking or work involved. I'd quite often fall asleep, but nobody cared, and it was great for DH as he had good company, with friends who understood and he could talk if he needed to.

MAS, sorry you're feeling a bit odd. Wonder what it is? Maybe a virus of some sort? Your mindee sounds sweet and has reminded me, as a few months ago, DS told me he would like to be a lesbian. I explained he never could and he fired back, 'but you told me I could be anything I wanted, if I work at it!'.

Kurri, how are you today? Are those new drugs making you feel a bit odd still? Hope you don't feel faint any more.

I'm with KK on this, seeingstars - delegate away. You'll feel better again and take the mantle back on soon enough.

Actually, I found it quite liberating to stop being a control freak (not suggesting you are, by the way) and accept that other people can manage just fine even if I don't lift a finger. And some of those jobs that don't get done - well, they probably didn't matter much anyway.

Waddaya mean the conkers don't work? Bugger, bugger, bugger and shit! (sorry) I have just got my bag together and dd and i were going to sprinkle them around tonight. There was one as big as my hand in my living room a couple of weeks ago, when dh was away. I didn't stop shaking for hours.

The thought of one in my hair totally freaks me out. I may be the only person in the world who has changed their car because of a spider incident.

A few years ago I was driving down my road when I felt a tickle on my wrist and found one climbing out of my sleeve. I abandoned the car and the jacket at the bottom of the road until dh could retrieve it later that day And I spent the next week driving with the windows wide open and ear splittingly loud music playing because, inexplicably, this made me less panicky. Then, as the worry wasn't abating and it was a company car, I persuaded the fleet manager to let me swap with one of the pool cars

Smee - I think the hospice is possibly about as inappropriate a venue as you can get But I am glad it was not too loony a meeting.

MAS - hope you are feeling better.

amber...welcome back,hope you enjoyed yourself.

smee...shouldnt laugh but i did at where your meetings are held,but i do think that would put me off from going a bit to much in your face for me.

topsy...i do hope pig/dog behaved himself last night and you got a good nights sleep.

mas...that doesnt sound good hope your feeling better today.

imseeingstars...im a single mum but somehow have managed to get through i have had help with shopping,appointments etc but a majority of the time i have had to get on with it.i have 2 kids still at home 15 and 12 when ive needed help i have had to ask for it. on the really bad days ive only done what needs to be done in little bits and ate a takeaway. also always had a sleep during the day when the kids are at school in fact i still do i just cant make it through the day anymore without extra sleep.we have had quite a few sloppy dvds days.
think the hardest thing is life kind of just stopped and i dont really venture far as i dont have alot of energy i know the kids have missed a holiday this year but they havent complained though my son did go and stay with his sister who is at uni in lincoln for 5 days,also i use to take the kids to alot of gigs thats all stopped for now so has outings.
my 19 year old has spent most of the summer back at home and shes been fantastic took the kids on the odd trip and just really helped out especially with looking after my son who has learning difficulties,i always knew she was wonderful but im so very proud of her shes been a godsend.
one of the hardest things has been dealing my mum i have had alot of complications,bad side effects extra hospital visits my mum gets in to a right old panic.she cried when i lost my hair when i lost my nails,on the days i felt poorly i think you get the general idea, when i had my op i think she drove the nurses mad with fussing lol.

i have a appointment today with my surgeon/consultant was dismissed other than attending seroma clinic, but because of this troublesome seroma he wants to see me again.what is it with consultants that always make you feel uneasy and fear the worst.

also got my appointment through the post for a radiotheraphy planning appointment for the 21st september,it says to expect to be there for 2 hours anyone know why?

Smee - tee hee at your ds!

Pink - just because cancer appointments always take forever, I think. Don't worry. You won't actually be in there for that long.

Memory's fugged, but pink I think the planning rads bit does take a little while. They have to do v. accurate positioning and measurements, so you lie still while they pin point exactly what angles to use for the zaps. Not stressful, just a teeny bit time consuming. When you actually have the doses it's quick, as they just adjust the table you lie on, according to the tattoos/ those measurements iyswim. Hope seroma appt goes well today.

Cakes, at your spider story. I'm not too bad with them, but I do get freaked about those huge ones. Thank god for a cat who crunches them.

talking of spider stories i remember when my girls were 6 and 2 they was playing in the garden my 2 year old was in and out the house every 2 mins so i knew she was ok.when it suddenly dawned on me where was my 6 year old went outside to find that she had been locked in the shed with a gigantic spider by the 2 year old who i reckon must have been in there for about half an hour she was hysterical.when i asked why she had locked her sister in the shed she said "she not like big spiders"

at your DS Smee.

Hope you are feeling better today MAS, - is your friend still coming for lunch, or did you postpone in the end?

I haven't felt faint again, although yesterday I was dripping with sweat all day, and was thinking that I've just about had enough of this bloody thyroid nonsense. tablets don't seem to be working yet

Eek at spider in car Cakes. I don't mind them if they are just sitting somewhere and I can catch them in a jam jar, its when they jump out unexpectedly!
DS came over last night, - he wanted to sort out some stuff in his old room.

He's been offered another job, working for the council in a drug rehab centre, as a drama teacher. So with that and the prison work, he'll be doing quite a lot of hours, - so has had to put his theatre company work on hold for a bit.
He was telling me about some of the prisoners he has in his classes, - some of them can be pretty threatening, and have committed very violent crimes. Makes me nervous.

Pink - as Cakes said, they allow ages for appointments. You'll probably see several different people, so might have a bit of waiting around to do.

Pink -your poor dd. I'd have been catatonic after half an hour.

KK - wow, your ds must be getting recommended all over the place, good for him. Nervous making though, for you.

Now, you see, I can't concentrate with all this talk of spiders. I keep thinking there is one running over my feet. Oh crap, I need to get a grip.

On the good news side, it looks like I may be able to drop my PTA post this coming year. Hooray! Someone else wants it, and I am going to give it to them before they change their mind

hooray for KK's ds ! what a star.
Am ok,but have cancelled my friend as I'd like to be feeling tip top - am going to draw and not do too much.
Those on fb may have seen the enormous spider that is on my hanging seagull,right by the stairs- it gave me a bit of a shock...

Afternoon all .

mas - hope you perk up a bit today , and it doesn't develope into anything horrid .

kk - good for your DS . I would think that the scarey prisoners will not be too much trouble as they know if they misbehave , they get chucked out of all the classes that give them the most entertainment !

Just back from town where I met my friend for coffee and buns . Had a brief wander about afterwards , but didnt go far as I knew I had a 15 minute walk home once I got off my bus .
Am knackered now .

Not too tired though , am still keeping an eye out for any mutant spiders

Coffee and buns sounds excellent topsy
You are right about the prisoners, any trouble and they are thrown out of education.

Pink - your poor DD, that's the sort of thing my sisters would have done to me

oh blimeys, what a day. I need tea.
Bag? Packed??! I need to pack a bag??! Oh goodness, so I do!

tea here amber and a viennese biscuit if you like (chocolate coated)

Hi folks, not had any internet for this week so just been reading thread now and popping in to say hi.

My Mum is doing fine, she's on day 2 of radiotherapy and it's going fine, she's feeling a lot better and has really recovered from the ops now. Feeling a lot more positive and getting on with normal life again.
to all :)

Biscuits ????
I have chocolate trifle

stars - I forgot to reply to you earlier . I am fiercely independant , and it took a great deal of effort on my part to realise that I needed a bit of help .
You will be tired . You will have to let other people help you . And you will have to get to grips with the fact that you are going to have periods of less energy .
It doesn't happen all the time , but normally for the week after I have my chemo I spend most of the day on the sofa .
When friends offer to do the school run , let them .
If someone offers you a casserole , take it (unless it's minging )

amber - have you packed that bag yet ?

Hi framey . Glad to hear things are settleing down a bit for you .
I will take a mug of off you to wash down my trifle ......

for Framey's mum. That all sounds positive. See Amber it'll be you pretty soon. Now go pack that bag, then sit down with some of Topsy's buns or MAS's viennese biscuit and rest those bones. Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

You too, Topsy. You have next round tomorrow, I think? Hope it's quick and you're home on the sofa with PigDog snuffling round you asap. Mis-read your post and now have a v.strange image of you washing a trifle..

KK, your son always sounds brilliant. Shame about the theatre company though. Hope your pills kick in soon. Or maybe they have and that's why you feel ropey. Hope not.

Pink, your girls sound fun. Bet the older one has never forgotten that.

MAS, saw the spider on FB - I think he should have a name. How are you feeling now? Any better?

Cakes, am envious you've managed to get yourself unelected, from the PTA. Wish I could do the same. I might have to target a new reception parent and bully persuade them.

Earth hope you're okay today. Am rushing out to get DS from his after school club. Squalls and sunshine here, so I'll get either wet or hot!

It's Thursday not tomorrow, but tomorrow I'll be whizzing about having blood tests done and trying to sort out the office stuff etc etc...

Yes , it's chemo day tomorrow smee . First time of the new lower dose , so am looking forward to that .

cakes - I have managed to get 1 child the whole way through , and the other child halfway through junior school without being badgered into the PTA . I find the trick is to not make eye contact with our headmistress , she has a way of making you to agree to things

Off to wash my trifle now ............

Sorry I got the day wrong, Amber. I trust you've got treats like box set DVD's on your list. You need things to slump in front of when you get home.

Topsy, I had my dose reduced and from memory it did make SE's lessen, so hope it does for you too. Happy trifle washing.