*** TAMOXIFEN * 12 ***

[KurriKurri]

Tada! A shiney new thread - get me with my fancy asterisks

Gosh what a huge post - apologies, well done done if you get through any of it!

understanding your path. report - you can download it, and I think it tells you what sort of things to ask

grrrr at obstructive receptionist KK
Really hope the antibiotics help your ma.
Might go out today to walk in a nice garden - give ds something to photograph !

I hope you do get out to the garden, MAS. It is such a very beautiful day.

Grr to the receptionists from me too, KK. They are a difficult bunch. I called mine once when I had had an accident, and asked for a home visit. She had my file in front of her and even so she said "Can't you walk?" (Answer - No, I have a broken thigh and a shattered elbow so I can't even hold two crutches). I hope your Mum starts to feel better soon.

dd and I are not getting on well at all. I think we have spent too long together this holiday. She has just this minute gone off an a visit to family and won't be back until tomorrow night. Phew!!!! I am not really being mean it is just that now I can really get on quietly with some work (once I get off here [ grin] ). I know that I have been snippy with her - just pressure of work building up I guess. I'll try harder when she gets back, she is a very, very good kid really - extremely kind and thoughtful, and funny too.

Glad to see you back Topsy, and really pleased you got the decent weather.

Lots of positive vibes for figgy, Earth, IloveGC, Amber - and everyone else - for the coming week's tribulations.

Back to the Red Cross job now, while the going is good. x

PS I watched the X Factor too. I always do, I am very lowbrow.

we did and it was lovely- blooming everywhere -gorgeous.
Sympathies with you about dd- it is hard when they are her age and you are trying to work/have to be with them all the time..I would be snippy. Don't feel bad,it's all normal.
Am having a glass of wine- join me !

ILGC - well done to your DS - it makes you feel so proud doesn't it! Its great when they get reuslts they've worked hard form and esp you and DCs have had a lot to deal with.

Earth - good idea to write those questions down. I haven't any more to add though.

Love to all - just off for brief walk before sun goes down.

Going for my pre assessment for Wednesdays chemo tomorrow .
First appointment without my DH , and I am taking both the DC with me .
Fingers crossed for me please !

Good luck topsy xx

yes,loads of luck topsy !

Hope all goes well topsy

I would just like to say you are all being an inspiration to me. You are all showing that life goes on and you still get on with your plans. I feel my life is on hold at the moment and I havent done anything since my diagnosis. I have refused weekends away and nights out - just in case I might be too tired - and whilst I sort of feel ok, I am really scared about the future.

So thank you everyone

that all sounds quite normal in the scheme of thing iamseeingstars - things get easier
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AMBER !!***

Happy Birthday amber , where's the cake ?

iamseeingstars - I still don't really believe that I am "ill" . I actually feel physically quite well (apart from chemo week) so I think that makes it harder to accept .
I think that as time moves on you will allow yourself to start doing the normal things . Have you had the first pitying looks off any friends yet ? That was hard for me .
Am also not looking forward to doing the school run when DD goes back next week , as most of the school mums don't know yet !

A big happy birthday from me too, amber!

Iamseeingstars - very, very normal. When you have had time to process everything a it more your appetite for life will probably return. Things will look up!

Thanks, MAS. I am glad the gardens you went to were lovely, it makes your heart sing doesn't it? My own garden was looking decidedly past it so I have just dug out a few things and put in a few pansies to tide us over a bit, but it sure wouldn't win any awards though! If the weather stays fair we'd like to go to a lovely garden later this week

Loads and loads of luck to Topsy. Just remember to keep breathing and, if in doubt, remember that's what the BCN is for - endlessly repeating the main points until we finally take it in

Ah Topsy, that first school run is a tough one. Head high, confident look - and don't feel obliged to spill personal medical details to all and sundry just because they ask. At least, that was what got me through.

Also topsy try to remember that it is not pity but sympathy that most people feel. There are very few people whose lives have not been affected by cancer and most are genuinely sympathetic. When I went back to work my first class was Year 11's who I had taught since they were Year 7. This normally 'lively' class were eerily perfect to the point at the end of the lesson that I sat down at my desk and put my head in my hands. Immediate consternation by all until they realised I was giggling madly, one of the liveliest said " sorry miss we thought we were being nice plus you used to say we made you pull your hair out and now you don't have any!" At that point we all fell about! But I did not feel pity but care and we can't have enough people caring about us, even if they are lynx smelling 15 year olds!

ILGC - you are quite right, of course. And what a lovely story, it must have brought a tear to your eye.

Happy Birthday Amber , and many happy returns. - The only question that matters - have you got cake?

Iamseeingstars - what you are feeling is so natural, - I felt very similar and had it explained to me by a counsellor. She said reactions to danger are usually fight or flight, but there's also a 'freeze' mode - where you can't actually do anything, - I also rejected all offers of enjoyable things, didn't play my instruments, stopped my hobbies etc. - Its worth mentioning that you feel that way to your onc. or BCN, - sorry I've got a dreadful memory, - but are you having counselling? - you may find that helps, and also as you get through your treatment IME it gets better.

One step at a time is a terrible cliche, but I find it's all about enjoying things when you can, when you fell like it, - if you have a good day, try to treat yourself to something you enjoy, even if its only a nice walk. If you have a bad day, well thats maybe a time to rest and take stock, or do something quiet at home.

gardens sound lovely MAS, - glad you had a nice outing.

Cakes - don't feel bad, - although mine are grown up, I do remember a certain relief when school went back! - I feel the same with DH now when he has days off, - much as I love him, I get irritated eventually. It's the disruption to routine, - makes you edgy.

ILGC - your class sounds great, - teenagers get a bad press sometimes, but I've always found them great fun, - used to love it when the kids had all their friends round, - they can really make you laugh at that age

I didn't sleep last night - my wrist was hurting so much, must try to get to the doc, this week (They must be so sick of me at the surgery ).

DH is off to Canada on Friday, - not that I'm or anything, - he claims it's work, but it sounds like fun to me

Do you have to wear those thrombosis stockings on a long flight? Anything else thats essential - we've only ever done short flights.

Thanks, KK. That's exactly what it is, disruption to routine and thinking time. Although in my case the thoughts probably aren't worth it, most of them.

Get thee to the GPs then, if your wrist is so bad. A bit of physio might work wonders.

I am not sure about those thrombosis stockings but I guess they would be a good idea, it's a 7 or 8 hour flight, isn't it? I bet you are , I would be. I went to Canada years ago, when I was young enough for someone else to pay, and it is gorgeous. How long is he off for?

Guess what? I have just got into a pair of trousers that I bought on a whim 2 years ago, and have never been able to get anywhere near before. Yippee! Don't worry though, I am in NO danger of wasting away just yet I really can recommend hypnotherapy as an aid to weight loss. It just makes it so much easier for the weak of will...

ILGC - what a lovely class so sweet !
KK - haven't flown long haul for aeons-but I think getting up often,walking about,stretching legs and drinking much water are good ideas.
Hope wrist eases- you should see the doc- am sure they won't be sick of you !
Hooray for Cakes and fitting into trousers ! well done
Someone mentioned custard tarts on facebook and it made me think of portuguese custard tarts as sold in Caffe Nero - so I happened to buy 2 on my way from the post office... one I shall offer to a friend who is coming by later to borrow our shredder.

Haven't had a custard tart for years. Sounds yummy.

I am re-enthused for weight loss though, so have just had 2 bowls (OK, OK should have been one ) of my patented home made vegetable soup. Boy is it filling.

9 hours apparently - (it's Vancouver).

Well done on getting into trousers Cakes - clothes that were too small suddenly fitting is the most encouraging thing - I think I'll have to look into hypnotherapy, - no weight shifting here (but I am eating like a horse, - think thats the thyroid, I'm permanently hungry, - but I need to fill up with healthy stuff not cake)

Custard tarts - yum, are Portuguese ones very different from the usual ones?

I'm trying to tidy up a bit as the piano tuner is coming on Wed., - not that he'll notice, he'll be too busy eating my biscuits and drinking my coffee

I am back from hospital . Nothing new or dramatic today I am pleased to report !
Bloods done , am fine for Wednesdays chemo .

Now relaxing on the sofa with crisps , chocolate and a can of coke (but could just squeeze in a portugese custard tart or 2) whilst I catch up on all the programmes I sky+ last week .
Currently on episode 2 of The Borgias . I love an historical costume drama . Not sure how historically accurate it is , but its entertaining

hooray for undramatic appointment topsy , sounds like you've got everything you need there for a relaxing afternoon, - enjoy.

9 hours. Blimey. Lots of moving and drinking as MAS says, and I think I perhaps would go for the stockings as well. We have family in vancouver and it is lovely, but I do remember flying there when I was 19 and getting shockingly bad restless legs. This was waaaayyyy before the days of stockings, or at least I'd never seen any. Think they'd be a good precaution, TBH.

Yay Topsy. Who cares about historical accuracy if it looks pretty?