*** TAMOXIFEN * 12 ***

[KurriKurri]

Tada! A shiney new thread - get me with my fancy asterisks

Evening all. I am picking bits of garden out of my clothes and wig, having lost my balance in the borders and fallen sideways into the nettles

DS did Ancient History, Drama and PE, and currently hasn't the foggiest what to do with his year off. But he's certainly not sitting on his bum so I think some serious job searching or course-finding is ahead of us.

or anyone?

I'm on my second glass of ! Dh did ancient history at university which is why we have a shelf full of book called things like 'Spartan Law'

Oops amber - hope you are OK, -I remember getting a bit wobbly on chemo, it does affect your balance.

I'm not supposed to have at the moment (booooo) but I'm sure a small glass won't hurt

Great news Figgy, how are you feeling about it all, still reeling?

Amber, hope you didn't get any stings from the nettles....you take care.

I have books called things like Biogeography, and the Marxist ideas behind development...although I think I just read that one to panic and annoy my Uncle!

Hello all !
I'm baaa-aaack

Had a glorious week . The weather even co-operated (thanks for all the sun dances !)
Spent most of our time on a sun drenched , white sand , perfect blue sea , beach . I even have a bit of a tan (normally I sport a lovely blue tinge) . Although how I got any colour I don't know , as the BC nurse was insistant I got a high factor (50) and high star rating sun cream . It was like rubbing lard into my skin

Have just spent the last hour (whilst dh drives up the motorway on the final leg of our journey home) catching up on all your news .
Yee haa for all the good news (exams and good sturgeon apts)
Hope everyone is doing great .

Will be at my front door in about 15 minutes . Then its a mad unpacking of the car session . Then we have to go pick the pig/dog up from kennels . (And probably apologise for whatever distruction he has wreaked !)

Will be back later

Hello there topsy, - I'm glad the sun dances worked , white sand, blue sea - I'm not at all, no not me .

That factor fifty is super greasy, you could swim the channel in it and not get cold! But your holiday sounds lovely, and just what you needed, I hope you feel good and relaxed and chilled out

Hope pig/dog has had a good stay at the dog hotel

It's raining here today, and very dark.

Mum still not had an x-ray, she says its pointless because they can't do anything anyway. But she's in pain, and passed some blood in her urine - Dr. thinks she banged her kidney when she fell. - What am I going to do with her? - I'm going down in a few weeks and will fill her freezer with soups and quiches and cakes etc. to save her a bit of cooking.

Yay -you're back topsy !! sounds as though you've had a fab time- and such lovely weather too- now I'm sure you've missed your pig dog
KK - poor mum - she must've bruised herself inside - she'll appreciate the cooking I'm sure.
Baking hot here,though it poured with rain earlier- have been drawing and then had tea and cake in my mum's garden as my brother was passing by on his way from Bath to Barking (getting train from here) He is organising some event there- a Boris bike ride.
Dad accidentally injured a poor frog with his snippers when he was shearing in the garden- I feel really upset about it - poor thin-had awful dream too about ds being bullied at school and dogs fighting.

Afternoon all.

Welcome back Topsy. Your holiday sounds fab, just what you needed after all you've been through. I love the sun but have been avoiding it lately (well, what there's been of it) for fear of burning. I really must get some lard factor 50 suncream.

Oh dear KK, I hope your poor old mum is okay. I don't like the sound of blood in her urine. She'll appreciate your home cooking, I'm sure.

Poor little froggy. I hope it survived and I hope your dreams are a bit happier tonight. I hate it when dreams stay with me during the following day.

What an awful afternoon I've had. First I got stranded at home with car but no keys and it was pouring down. I needed much needed supplies for a lasagna (despite the Tesco shop earlier in the week). DS1 had my key and I was cross because he borrowed it days ago and hadn't given it back. Then, when I was preparing said lasagna, I spilled a whole tin of chopped tomatoes onto the kitchen carpet tiles and sliced through my little finger at the same time. But by this time DS1 had returned home and came to my rescue. I just managed to avoid A&E as the bleeding had stopped. I'm on my second glass of - purely medicinal of course.

oh ow figgy- poor you ! good idea to have some wine straight away...
do all join me for some prosecco later- we're going to have a pre-wedding anniversary celebration this evening !

Ouch Figgy , not a good day !

kk - your poor mum . If she has cracked ribs though , they won't do anything for that . Poor blood in the urine is not good , sounds like kidneys have been hurt .

MAS - Happy Anniversary ! How many years ? I will join you in a glass of prosecco , and I will also hand round the sauvignon . (Its all I have left !)

Uuuugh , back to earth with a bang . All bags unpacked (along with approx 4 tonnes of sand !) , washing machine on , pig/dog home , kids buggered off out to play !
Got pre assessment on Monday , and chemo on Wednesday . Really don't want to go back to hospital , had a taste of freedom and don't want to start back into it all again .

Ah well .
Also have to get the DC school shoes , trousers , skirts , shirts etc .
We start back earlier over here , end of August .

Glorious day , ooh found some fruit and nut .

hold on to your holiday memories to see you through topsy- meanwhile here's some prosecco. It'll be 16 years on 23rd- we're going out to dinner then so thought we'd start early

ooh Figgy - that sounds painful Hope it's OK now, can I be an old fusspot and say, if the cut is on the side where you have lost lymph nodes, do keep a good eye on it, any sign of it looking infected, - go to Doc for abs. (or OOH, or a & e).

topsy, not a very jolly thing to come home to, - have you got a big fat holiday read to take with you to the hospital?

Oh and yes please to fruit and nut

Happy pre-anniversary MAS 16 years is good going!

Read 9 books on holiday kk . The benefits of being in a holiday location with no wifi

mas - happy 16th pre wedding anniversary ! Its mine (and dhs) 15th in September , although we have been a partnership for almost 24 years now (yes , I was a childbride )

Can I admit a guilty secret ?
I am in my pjs , with a mug of hot chocolate , watching X Factor !
Don't know what I am more ashamed of ?
Being in my pjs this early on a Saturday night ?
Or watching X Factor ..............

whispers ,

9 books - that's good going! takes me a week to read one.

wow ! 9 books - I am sooo slow these days. Am trying to read our book group book (Water for Elephants) before September
We watched X Factor too

Congratulations to everyone on A/AS/Wedding Anniversary results! My gorgeous boy did brilliantly but refused to phone up to find out from holiday. We only found out when the school rang to ask him to go in for local rag photos, it was difficult to get there from Italy!
However the shadow that is GCSE results has now emerged, my two classes had to struggle with supply teachers for over 6 months so I am concerned, and worried shitless about DD2 who, quite naturally, did not give two hoots about her exams after her dad died in January.
But then as I look out over the lights of Florence sipping wine it all seems rather remote.
Enjoy your celebrations!

yay for ILGC's boy and hope all will be ok with dd's results...have a lovely time x

Yeah ! ILGC boy, well done, fingers crossed for dd, but with all she has been dealing with GCSEs must seem insignificant, and afterall she can do them again if needs be. Stop worrying right now about your class, the senior management team makes the choices about cover for teachers (which I assume you are ?) you are supposed to concentrate on you and your family, and let them make the decisions at work and worry about the consequences of their decisions, that is what they get the big bucks for. Sorry just fell off chair laughing at idea of big bucks in education

Topsy I am glad you are back and had a good hol. Take it easy with the washing and the unpacking, you have a lot on next week, don't lose that holiday feeling just yet.

Kurri I am worried about your mum, and that the gp not seem at all concerned about the blood in her urine, I would have thought a scan of some kind was in order, but maybe that is me overreacting, I know my gp is very very thorough with ds.

Dh is being very snippy with me, hyper critical which he often is(including having a go at me about coming on here , gosh depression is hard work to live with, and if I am honest, which I rarely am even with myself, never mind others, it does wear me down. I know I am much more self critical these days, very low self esteem. Sorry ignore me, as you were

Good morning all

I need your help/advice again please, it will be my first visit to the consultant this Tuesday when the results of the biopsy will, hopefully be in, and DD2 has suggested we have a list of questions written down ready for him. Problem is my mind is cotton wool and I've no idea what I should be asking.

The first doctor told me after the scan that there were "5-6 areas of concern" and they would need to remove that breast, but basically thats all I know and I'm sure I'll go to pieces on Tuesday so any questions would be so much help.

Sparkle I really feel for you, my DH had periods of anxiety/depression and it was dreadful to live with. It used to really put pressure on, he would be very snippy and I would desperately try to keep the kids away from his criticisms. However fortunately his spells tended to last weeks rather than months and eventually he had CBT and for the last 5 years of his life he was free of the black dog. Good luck, I can't suggest anything because in our case it was a matter of enduring the situation until he got better, when he was fab. Just try to remember it is the illness not him that is criticizing you, I know it is much easier said than done. Take care of yourself, it is a nightmare.

Morning

sparkle - you have my sympathies , depression is hard to deal with . Especially when its directed at you .

ILGC - well done to DS and fingers crossed for DD . Just let her know that in the grand scheme of things , it doesn't really matter . They can always be resat if she wants to .

earth - hmm questions ? Date of proposed surgery . Type of proposed surgery (ie mastectomy ? Lumpectomy ? Node removal?) Length of hospital stay ? Rebuild , at same time or later date ? Type of cancer ? Stage of cancer ? Any further tests (mri , bone scan etc) . Further treatment ? (Chemo , radio)

To be honest , my appointments with the surgeon were always very brief , she was in and out very quickly .
All my questions ended up being directed at the BC nurse , there was always one sitting in at all my surgeons appointments .

Very , very good luck for Tuesday , and anything you forget to ask or don't understand , come here and ask . Someone is bound to know , whatever it is !

Thank you so much topsy, thats a great help I'm so scared and feel very helpless, not something I'm used to

sparkle - agree with what the others have said about depression and dh- it's horrid to be the recipient of snippiness but it is his illness doing it,not him.
Earth- will be thinking of you on Tuesday - the bcn will be there afterwards to make sure everything is understood.

Sparkle, being on here is very important. A good social network has been shown to be a major factor in long term survival for BC. They don't know why, but it's true. So take no notice of that bit of snippiness.

Good to hear of holidays.
Eek re situations involving keys and tin cans.
Earth, wise advice already from others re the surgery meeting. I have mine on Tuesday and that's a handy list for me too.

Hello all - I was going to say you are all early birds today, but just looked at the clock and realised I am a late bird

ILGC - well done to DS, fingers crossed for you DD, she has had a lot on her plate, as you all have. She can retake, if things go wrong, and as long as she gets what she wants for what she wants to go on to do, then thats all that matters

Depression is a tough illness to live with, for sufferers and family Sparkle, - its hard not to take things personally but it is his illness talking when he is snippy. And yes stay on here, its a place to rant if you feel like it, it helps to let it all out.

My DS suffers from depression, - actually bi-polar so extremes in both directions, he's had it since he was about 17, we had some really dark times, and I felt so helpless that I couldn't help my son, he won't take medication but he has had CBT which helped a lot, - as he said he still gets bad times but he can cope with them better now. He hasn't had a bad episode for about 2 years now, partly I think due to his wonderful partner.

Earth I agree with what topsy has suggested, try to find out what type of cancer (whether its hormone responsive, her2+ etc.)- (I'm sure they will automatically tell you actually) because those things will play a part in your treatment. Remember your BCN is your friend here, she will help you and if you contact her and tell her you're not sure what to ask, she'll help you.
You'll find out more about treatment/any scans you need, once you've had your op ad they've tested your lymph nodes.

Feeling scared and helpless is perfectly natural, its a scary business and it feels like you have no control over anything. Once you have a treatment plan in place, it does get better I promise. Good luck - we'll all be thinking of you.

You too amber for Tuesday, will be thinking of you too, good luck

I think there is a Breast Cancer Care leaflet about understanding your path. results, I'll try to find a link in case it's of any interest to anyone.

Mum has some abs for a urine infection now, - its not too bad once she can get through to the doctor, but first she has to battle the receptionists. She entitled, as a full time carer, to have home visits, but she has to fight for one each time. Doctor told her to send in a sample, and my sis took it in, but receptionist made a big fuss and came up with various reasons why she couldn't take it. She did in the end though (hadn't reckoned with my sister )