**TAMOXIFEN TEN***

[MaryAnnSingleton]

brand new shiny thread....our tenth !

I loved doing the party bags !!

I'm glad the talking dog stole the show Topsy - I though he would sorry your feeling a bit knackered - its probably the strain of the week and anxiety about your appointment catching up on you. Have a nice relaxing weekend

I hope the SE's don't get to horrible Amber and you can recuperate a bit over the weekend too.

Cakes - you are brave having a swimming party, how many children are coming? The party bags sound excellent, I fancy a thing you can throw at the window and it walks down - sound like my kind of toy

MAS - I've e-mailed you, What book is your Book club reading, and do you take it in turns to choose a book? - We don't seem to have any Book clubs round us, I'd like to join one. Maybe I should start one

I had a fabulous massage this morning - I really enjoyed it, - I reek of lavender oil now

I got a taxi home (couldn't face another cycle ride) and had the taxi driver from hell, he wouldn't shut up, kept wanting my opinions on things like 'with all the structures built on the Earth's surface why hasn't it's orbit been changed' and 'Is all rain, the same rain that's been around since the beginning of time just being recycled' I don't know. Shut up.

Ha ha! What an awful trip that must have been! He's got too much time to think, it's not healthy.

The massage sounds lovely - and the scent

We have 20 children coming - plus some saintly parents who have agreed to get in the pool for safety reasons. I can't do it because I need to get the food on quickly: I reciprocated for one kid's party last autumn, though, and great waves of water kept coming over me. it was horrible. At one point one of my contact lenses washed out and and i had to grab it as it dropped down my face and go and put it back in in the changing room (not recommended from a hygiene point of view

Oh good move to get other parents to help out, hope it all goes well (you will collapse in a heap of relief when its over )

Oh b*m. Having an awkward conversation with the chair of one of the organisations that I work for. He hadn't told any of my fellow committee members why I'd been absent for six months so they thought I just wasn't bothering to turn up and leaving them to do all the work for me. No wonder they were a bit grumpy with me when I went to a training course with them this week.
Arrghh.
I think I need

Oh no Amber - that's bad, - is he going to put things right for you?
Definitely a situation.

I'm not sure that he is, no. I've had to write to the others to explain the situation.

What a hassle for you, - last thing you need really.

Amber - what a shame. FWIW I found that once people knew the situation they were usually golden. Hope it's true in this case.

grrr- that is a pain amber - am sure once the know what's what they'll be completely ok - but grrr.
KK - we have just read The Blasphemer by Nigel Farndale (?) I think that's his name- anyway, it was a very easy read but way too long- could have been edited much more sharply - we agreed it was a bit waffly and seemed to be several books tacked together, but quite entertaining for all that ! No idea what next one is- being chosen by the next person in alphabetical order,..that person then hosts the bookgroup,providing the refreshments- sometimes because of babysitters or dhs away it switches to someone elses house.
My aunt and cousin are coming up for a week (coming down in fact) from Chester -renting a cottage on a farm nearby- so trying to decide what to feed them on tomorrow evening- sometimes I despair-my parents hadn't thought to ring my cousin to see what time they're arriving and what their plans are - i think they just bury their heads in the sand. My cousin is a paragon of wonderful daughters-she is so brilliant with her mum-does everything for her,much more attentive than I could be ! The aunt is mum's eldest sister (89) who had a mastectomy a few years ago -oh dear,so will no doubt want to talk breasts

the good news is my bloods were fine for a change.

the bad news is i cant have my chemo on monday its been hopefully delayed for one week,this is because ive had a sudden reaction to my last chemo overnight. hands were fine yesterday but today they have suddenly started to peel and have lots of loose skin,my corners of my mouth have cracked and my eyes have crusted over what with the really bad bone aches the hospital doctor says im overdosed in toxins need a extra week to recover and they need to lower the dose of my next chemo,very disapointing but it was explained that if they went ahead with the chemo monday i would end up being really ill.was a bit worried as i really wanted to get the chemo out of the way with only having 2 more to do but they reasured me it actually wouldnt make any difference as i have responded really well to treatment.

Oh that's disappointing for you pink, but you don't want to get really ill, - sounds as if you are fairly under the weather already

If its any reassurance, I had one of mine delayed and the dose lowered after I got ill - it didn't seem to make any difference. But I appreciate you build yourself up to a finishing date - so its a bit of a downer for you.

Good that your bloods were fine though - that's progress

kurri..its good to hear it didnt make any difference to you thats very reasuring.i know i shouldnt really say this but im kind of looking forward to having a weeks break its been a rough ride.

Pink - sorry to hear they have delayed your treatment . Its a bugger when you get yourself all ready and motivated and then it gets bumped , isn't it ?
Hope you feel better soon though .

The hour is upon me .
Its time to tell the kids .
They are getting into pjs , and then we will sit them down and chat to them .
I totally forgot we have a living , breathing example of how good things can turn out . As one of their Aunties had breast cancer 8 years ago , and she is whole and healthy now . So I will drop that into the conversation if they start the old "are you going to die mummy" thing .

Sorry to go on about this , but I am seriously dreading it . I can fully understand why some people don't tell their children .
Its so hard .

That's fair enough - I think I felt the same way IIRC - there's only so much you can take when its rough going, a break might well mean you get through the next cycle without all these pains and skin problems etc. - it's wearing when you get lots of niggly things making you uncomfortable all the time. Take it easy and let yourself recover for a week

Oh good luck Topsy - lots of hugs and good thoughts for you all.

Done .
Yet again my kids astound me .

DS asked if I was bald and the sun reflected off my head and bounced off Daddys (already) bald head , would it create a rainbow !

DD said I should get an afro wig , like Ronald MacDonald !

Somehow , I feel that my chances of getting any sympathy from my DCs over the next 6 months are nil !

I am sure as the days go by , and what I have told them sinks in , they will have more serious questions .
I have told them , anything they want to know , I will tell them .
I have also said its not a secret , they can tell anyone they want .

Right , I can relax now !
Hope you are all having a great Friday night .
I am hoping to get a lie in tomorrow , what do you reckon my chances are ?

Oh it sounds as if they did really well Topsy, - you must be relieved to get that done. And bless their hearts with their questions - they will get their heads round it all in their own way.

Chances of lie in - slim I'd say

oh well done topsy -think that went well by the sound of it bless them.
Pink - poor lamb-hope things improve v soon- sounds horrid.My friend Karen on our Tamox. fb page was allergic to her chemo and had such awful reactions that the onc. just stopped the treatment. (she is very allergic to lots of things- so don't be alarmed)

Am off to meditation day tomorrow -I am feeling so achy that I feel as if I have flu or something- will be very peed off if I can't go. Night night xx

Morning All

I hope Pink and MAS are feeling better this morning . Or if not , I hope they have someone on hand to spoil them this weekend !

Sparkle - I hope you get it sorted out with your fellow committee members . I can only think he thought it was private , and didn't want to tell you "secret" . I would like to think that people aren't that insensitive . (Although some people do astound me with their crassness !)

8.10am !
That's the length of my lie in this morning .
And the worst part is , my DCs are still in bed !
Groan , I do it to myself !

What's everyone plans for the weekend ?
DD has a party to go to on Sunday .
15 , 8 year old girls at a roller rink .
Shudder

Cakes - I hope you survive your swimming party . The party bags sound great . DD got one of those light up balloons in a party bag recently , and loved it !

Sorry about the aches and pains MAS - it does sound as if you might have picked up a virus. Enjoy your meditation day, - sorry to hear about your friend - that must be hard for her

Hope everyone has a nice relaxing w/e , hope our DD enjoys her roller skating Topsy, and that Cakes DD has a lovely birthday party (and Cakes survives more or less in one piece

I've got my DS and his girlfriend coming over for lunch, - but DH has decided he's making pizza for them, so I don't have to do anything - which I call a result

hooray for pizza making dh ! mine is making supper for us and parents and aunt and cousin-yum. Hope dd has fun at the party topsy and that little Cakes' party went swimmingly (sorry)
Am bck from meditation day which was good,but seemed very long - lots of yoga which I managed despite aches (am thinking it might do me good) and walking meditations (I find these hard as breathing and walking very difficult,if you think about it) Silent lunch was yum as usual-someone bought a huge heart shaped box of chocs - I mindfully ate 2.

Morning

Hope all your weekends went well .
Ours did . DD wrecked after her roller skating party , but in a good way .
DS finishes junior school forever this Thursday , so he has slowed down big time . We had a real fight on our hands to get him out of bed this morning !

I have my first appointment with my Oncologist (can't quite believe I have an Oncologist !) this afternoon at 1.30pm .
My surgeon said this appointment would be to let me know exactly what type of chemo I will be having and to plot out the appointments .
But they think Chemo will start within 1 week .

I have 1 weeks holiday booked on the 13th of August . Its only a house rental in the South of Ireland (we live in the north) . Do you think I am being realistic in wanting to keep to this booking ?
I thought if I am going to feel chemo crappy , I may aswell feel chemo crappy with a beach view !
We will only be a couple of hours drive from home , and its a place we go to every year . In the middle of no where , on a beach . And we literally do nothing . Just wander from the house to the beach .
(can you tell I am talking myself into it ?)

PS - MAS at your mindful eating of chocolates ! I do believe DH and I did that last night !

Oh my goodness we were not on the first page of general health, I couldn't leave it like that!!!!

so bumpity bump bump

Sorry I can't catch up today, it is ds's flexion and extension mri today, but I wanted to say hi, and send good thoughts to all....wish my little man luck, he is being very brave thus far! [proud emoticon needed]