TAMOXIFEN 9 *********

[MaryAnnSingleton]

Starts here !

The cake and the cheeses sound fab. I am not surprised you feel churned, but it's great you are being industrious. Proof that it's not going to get you licked. Enjoy the wander into town - I hope it stays sunny for it. x

we keep cross posting! Yes, I am using the mammo as my excuse for falling towards the wine bottle

Wowzers! I have just got some very classy flowers for my wedding anniversary

Woo-hoo for Cakes.

Classy flowers sounds good to me

Morning all. About to try something a bit silly soon after chemo, namely heading off for a weekend meeting and trying to keep going for many hours at a time. Must learn to rest up every chance I have today and tomorrow...even if it means lying flat on the church pews across people's laps during the service

yay for flowers cakes !! and take care amber-don't overdo things.
Cake is in the oven-now the mess to clean up - I use every implement possible

It's best that way. More to lick the mixture off

amber - massive applause for feeling up to it. Know your limitations, though! Hope you have fun. x

Hello all, I'm glad you've got an appointment sorted MAS, - as Cakes said, we're with you all the way.

Figgy, sorry you're feeling sick, I hope you get something to keep that in check. I glad you managed a decent night's sleep though, and maybe you'll feel able to eat a bit of something tonight

Pink, sorry everythings getting a bit on top of you too, is your arm very painful still? - and if you only forgot a football, you are doing well, - my memory was rubbish (still isn't up to much)

Amber - I hope you a have a lovely weekend - don't overdo it though, or push yourself beyond what is comfortable.

Smee have a nice evening out. £10 per hour does sound a lot for a sitter, although I'm pretty out of touch with such things. Your curry sounds great, I love chickpeas,so I'll put in another plea for the recipe

Cakes, good that the mammo went well, and how nice to get flowers, happy anniversary. How is the dog getting on, or has he gone home now?

SR - you must have the patience of a saint to play host to PG for so long! I'm glad you're seedlings are doing well, my are coming along nicely too - I always think of you when I'm pottering in my greenhouse

I had my thyroid blood test this morning, then went on to keep fit (we are learning a dance to Scottish music fro cool down, which is fun)

My Dad has got another urine infection, he was weeing blood so mum had to get the OOH doctor out on the bank holiday. It seems to be clearing now, so hopefully he'll avoid hospital this time.

Love to all, I hope you are OK Pennies if you are reading, and that you are well LJ.

Your poor dad, KK. Hope it keeps responding well.

Smee, I forgot to say but KK has reminded me, I think £10 an hour is a lot as well, but I am not sure what the going rate is. We only ever use my Mum who is free

Well dne on all the keep fit KK, personally I have been a bit crap recently (although I am still using the thigh thing every day). next week a new leaf is to be turned. maybe.

The dog has gone home. We only had her for 2 days this time around. She is very sweet except that she farts all the time, insists in crapping in my newly done flower beds, and has blocked anal glands so keeps dragging her bum on the ground. We have told them this before but they seem very uninterested, poor dog. So on the toilet end of things she leaves a bit to be desired. Also, when you say 'squirrels' she goes absolutely mad, as I found to my cost. DD and her friend were itching to say it (they had been warned by my SIL not to) so I said it just to get it over with. I never thought she'd be that bad. She bit me on the arm and the thigh I have 2 bruises on my thigh that look like someone has attacked me. And they really hurt as well.

oh poor dad KK hope he recovers from it quickly- how scary for him.
Am by dog bites cakes- did you clean them well-they can be nasty. Why won't they get her anal glands done ? poor doggle.
Cake is ready- quite crumbly but very moist and syrupy-will take some to mum. When ds gets home he can taste test it -then I'll walk to town for some air.

thank you, - part of the problem is he often doesn't say if something hurts because by the time he's got back from the loo, he's forgotten

I hope you are OK cakes - dog bites can be very painful. Do you think she might be a bit snappy because her anal glands are sore?

Cakes sounds good MAS - I like polenta I should think it gives the cake a lovely texture. I make a dish which has a layer of cooked and set polenta, topped with ratatouille and a sprinkling of cheese, its very yum.

The cake sounds fab

KK - your poor dad. Dementia is a terrible thing.

The bites weren't nastily meant she just gets that mad nipping thing border collies get sometimes when they are excited. They were nips more than anything but they came bloody sharp. They didn't break the skin because i was wearing tracksuit bottoms, thank God, but they have made huge, black bruises. We had been warned not to say 'squirrels' EVER, but the kids were going to do it, I could tell, so I did it so they could see it was not a good idea. I had no idea just how bad she was going to be. But I'm relieved it was me and not them, can you imagine?

I don't know why they don't get her anal glands done, I am very surprised at them. If we had had her for any longer I'd probably have taken her myself....

smee..you made me laugh how you wanted to kill everyone but didnt have the energy i could have wrote that.only family and friends have baby sitted my kids for free so i have no idea what the rate would be but £10 an hour is way to much.

cakes...it was about the 5th time i had forgot his football tried chemo brain didnt wash with him ,anyway today i bought him 2 so im back in his good books again.

figgy...BBC forums convinced me i was going to die and gave me instant depression,im so glad i found this place.hope the doctor sorts you out.

mas...you made my mouth water talking about the cheese sadly all cheese just tastes like rubber to me at the moment.

amber...wow love your attitude all i do is slump in a chair for about a week feeling sorry for my self(thats a lie i feel sorry for myself from cycle to cycle) i hope every goes well and you have a great weekend.

kurri..i still cant straighten my arm because of the pain but im not in constant agony anymore so it is improving only been on the injections for a week so its still early days just got another 5 months and 3 weeks to go lol. sorry to hear about your dad hope hes feeling better now.

had to go to see the consultant today ready for chemo on monday apparently im slightly neutrophenic and the consultant was talking about admitting me for 48 hours.had to have blood taken again which was a bit of a job in itself as no blood would come had to be taken in drips from my hand then i had to hang around for the results.eventually they decided i could go home oddly the consultant gave me a prescription and diagnosis of conjunctivitis which was news to me as far as im aware there was nothing wrong with my eyes.

Hi everyone, was diagnosed with breast cancer a few weeks ago, had a mastectomy on the 15th april 2011 with lymph nodes removed as well as they had cancer cells in them, still feeling sore and a bit tender but it's getting easier day by day. Was informed by my surgeon i have to have chemo, got an appointment with the onologist on the 19th may to sort out what strength of chemo i have to have and will find out when my chemo will start, not looking forward to it. My surgeon has estimated chemo should start end of may beginning of june, was also informed i have to go on Tamoxifen. Just would like to know what side effects anyone are getting and what i should expect.
Hugs Ruthie xxx

Hey Ruthie- I saw your other post on another thread- am sorry you are going through this
Tamoxifen for me has been fine really-I was hugely worried about it but in the time I've been taking it I've felt fine - some hotness from time to time and periods disrupted but on the whole I've felt ok..others will report otherwise -so I think it's best to embark on it with an open mind and to try not to expect any side effects. Everyone reacts differently though - I asked to delay starting it until I'd finished radiotherapy.

Well just had my forth and final FEC...hurrah, and now halfway through Chemo!! I am getting the usual light-headedness but nausea is minimal...phew :)

A lot on here and quite a lot of us feeling down - I'm really sorry to read you've having a shitty time Pennies, and MAS sorry to hear you need a bit of an investigation on top of being a bit down.

LGF - well done for getting half-way, that's a great milestone!

KK - ah that's sweet that you think of me with my seedlings when you're in the greenhouse! Thank-you. I think of you too.

Pink - hope you're OK

Pennies - I'm wondering how I cope....I think its partly just being back at work which fills my head with other things to get on with/ worry about, looking after the family - although aged 17 and 21 they still need support and (occasional) advice. I'm not sure really if I've just got my head firmly in the sand....I realise my treatment was less severe than your's ie no mastectomy and my cancer was grade 1 so not too aggressive but it had started to move (ie was in lymph nodes)...I think the main things that help are that I do seem to know a lot of women who've been through BC and are absolutely fine. There are 3 in my own department at work, which is a comfort as we can support each other with little things now and again. Then there is one good friend who was Dx just before me, and my SIL. They're all doing very well, so they're excellent role models I suppose - it almost just feels like part of life.

I think the other thing is that I think I have managed to 'trust the treatment' so I can assume I'm fine most of the time.

I am putting effort into slimming (really important to get my weight down and I've lost 1stone 5lb now. Still another stone to go) and into drinking very little (actually not an effort) and some effort into being fit. Losing weight makes me feel better.

I think I'd be more in a panic if my children were small and/or if I had time on my hands as I always used to be a bit of professional worrier, but there seem to be other things to worry about (will my DD get a job, will my DH's job last as it seems a bit dodgy, how much longer will I have to have a visitor staying in the house? how are we going to pay the credit card off etc This might all be distraction I admit.)

The intimacy issues aren't new for me as I've never been strong on intimacy -more a problem for my DH though I admit as he is more in need than me.

Are the health professionals giving you any support because if you feel stuck with very negative feelings, I think they should be helping. You're a strong woman and I don't want you to be stuck. Have you tried NLP? I wish I could help you - do you have close friends who can help when just talking could lift you?

Having said all that I do get down occasionally, and I think friends are vital. The support I felt last year was really something.

Where do you live?

And on another topic, how is your 'farm'??

XX

thanks SRx
LGF - well done

good luck with your run tomorrow phil -we'll be with you in spirit !! xxx

BTW one of you asked me about the film Submarine several pages ago. Sorry not to have responded till now. I enjoyed the film - as it says on the tin, its a 'coming of age' story. However my two Dcs (17 and 21) thought it was rubbish!

DH and I went to see Little White Lies - a new French film, last w/e. It takes a while to get going but we both enjoyed it a lot. By same Director as did Ne le Dis a personne which was a brilliant thriller a few years ago (tell No-one was the English title)

ruthie...welcome but so sorry you have had to join us.

lgf...well done for reaching halfway.

sr..im alright thankyou arm feels much better today but am lacking in energy been so lazy sat around for most of the day.

im having a my bodys really tired day but also havent stopped eating, been really hungry all day i think my body knows im having chemo on monday so its trying to cram in as much food as possible.my son sat chatting with me for most of the day hes so full on my poor head was buzzing trying to keep up with the convo but we did have a giggle hes now gone to his dads for a bit will be back later like a worldwind trying to tell me everything at once.my 15 year old daughters just come back from town with her mates gave her £20 for a new belt and told her i wanted change the belt cost £8.oo and she gave me £4.00 change told her i might have chemo brain but i can still add up turns out shes got 2 lots of nail varnish and took herself out to lunch.anyone want a teenager.

Fantastic evening yesterday and day today. Sheer bloomin' determination gets me through some of the bizarre things I get up to.

lilruthie, hi! I've had 4 lots of FEC chemotherapy so far and to be honest haven't found it too bad at all, but I'm about to start on docetaxel in 2 weeks and that can be very different. Everyone responds differently to chemo, so there's no one answer to your question. Some sail through it, others are nobbled completely. My team said, "you're not here to suffer", which is wise advice. If side effects or mood or intimacy is a nightmare, then there are often solutions of one sort or another for at least some of it. Keep asking.

Me, I get nauseous on and off for the first week but take the antinausea stuff and it's not bad. I get a lot of indigestion but take rennies and that sorts it. I get tired, but I rest up a bit.

Hello lilruthie. Glad you made it back here. Not sure if this helps, but I was where you are a year ago. I had a mastectomy and nodes removed in April, then started chemo in June. Now though am back to feeling good again. Not denying that the treatment is a slog, but you will get through it. Stick with us on here if you want to. We all know a version of this, so we understand the darkest moments as well as the trivial. And genuinely ask anything, no matter how dark or even daft. We can at least give you honest answers! On Tamoxifen, I've found it okay so far. I think it's tipped me into an early menopause, but then as my tumour was highly hormone positive I'm actually quite delighted. Weird what this wretched disease can do to us..

Pink, nope you can keep the teenager. Unless she's good at babysitting, cooking, cleaning..? I like her maths. Rest up and growl at all those who irritate you. Is Monday half way through for you too?

Big YEAY for LGF!! Totally brilliant you're half way. Hope you're feeling okay still.

Amber, sheer-bloody-determination is a useful trait. Glad you had such a good time.

SR, you've lost how much weight?! Huge round of applause, that's fantastic. It was me who asked about Submarine. I might add it to the DVD wish list, as I doubt I'll get to it before it leaves the cinemas. I saw 'Little White Lies' though, and enjoyed it too. What's happening about your visitor then? Does he stay until he finds a job??

MAS, hope the dinner party is lovely. I'm sure your cheese will be.

Still no news from LJ - are you okay, LJ? Let us know when you can.

DS and the teenage baby sitter got on hugely well last night. They watched a DVD, ate pizza and had a sword fight. DH and I had a pint in our old favourite pub. Was lovely.

Am going to add that Chick Pea recipe in a bit, honest.. Happy Saturday to all though. Really hope all of you on treatment are feeling none too bad.

Liruthie,

I suggest you let us know what drugs regime you'll be on and then we can make suggestions to support you. I had 2 lots of different combinations over 7 months. The first lot was more aggressive than the second lot, but don't worry too much. Its not pleasant but it is manageable and you'll be OK. I rather terrified myself with too much reading in advance and in the end I didn't have as bad a time as I'd anticipated. I was only sick twice - towards the end of the first lot of stuff as its does accumulate in your system. Other I tended to feel grotty for a week (like a bad hang-over for a couple of days then gradually improving), very tired at times, and generally below how you should feel, but I had a 'not bad' week at the end of each cycle. My energy got lower and lower as treatment progressed (I had rads at the same time which hit me a bit hard) but after 3 months I was completely back to full energy.

The difficult thing for me was my veins, which gradually packed up and wouldn't co-operate. So after 3 months I had a line put into my upper left arm and things were much easier after that. If you find you get vein problems I'd ask for a line. (Its called a PIC line - brilliant!)

Good luck - one step at a time was my mantra. Deal with what you know and each bit at once, and don't imagine 100 different horrible scenarios or you'd go mad!

Chickpea, Potato & Kale Curry. (Feeds 4 very hungry people)

340g dried chickpeas (soaked overnight, then simmer for half an hour before using in fresh water) or 2 x 400g tins, drained and rinsed.
1tsp cumin seeds
1tsp coriander seeds
1/2 tsp mustard seeds
1 hot, dried red chilli, crumbled or 1/2 tsp chilli flakes
1 tsp ground tumeric
2.5cm fresh ginger, peeled and grated
1tsp groundnut or sunflower oil
1 large onion, finely sliced
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
700l chicken or veg stock
250g potatoes, peeled and cut into 2cm dice
150g kale (or cabbage) finely shredded
Yoghurt to serve.

• Dry fry the cumin, coriander and mustard seeds with the chilli until the mustard seeds start to pop.
• Grind to a powder then mix in the tumeric and the grate the ginger in.
• Heat the oil in a large pan and fry the onion until soft and golden brown.
• Add Garlic and the spices and cook for another couple of minutes.
• Add the stock and simmer for 5 mins.
• Add the chick peas and potatoes, cook until the potatoes are tender.
• Add the Kale and cook for a few mins until the kale is tender.
• Serve with rice and yoghurt.

Only slightly faffy bit is the spice grinding, but it's worth it. Mmmm...