TAMOXIFEN thread number 8 ********

[MaryAnnSingleton]

just in case we run out of space !

Sparkle - I am fine, thnnk you :) It has become finer as the week has gone on but today is the first day large amounts have fallen out. I am now practising wearing my wig . DS (3) hasn't noticed it, so that must be a good thing. I will wear it for the school run but with a hat on it ...baby steps :)

Cakes - you made me smile. I cannot wait to ruffle my hair in the wind again.

Figgy - great and encouraging news from your Oncologist :)

Sally - glad you are feeling brighter today. The sunshine always helps. Unfortunately, its raining here :(

Actually we have an Asda too. Think I'll race you....

We could have matching kettles!

Moving aside, as the stampede to Asda sweeps past.

LGF and Figgy hair loss is so, so hard. Big hugs from me. As Cakes says though, it does get easier with time and as you learn to wrestle scarves and wigs into place.

Figgy, your Oncologist sounds good. Do they do just one scan at the end of chemo, or will you be scanned before then? Interesting in an understandably scary way. I'd bet you'll have good news though. You're right, black and white does sound a bit dull. The teachers at DS's school are wearing sparkly wigs all day which I can't wait to see at pick up. Though am more intrigued to see if the rather riotous Yr5 managed their sponsored silence.

Sally, if I don't manage to post later, will be thinking of you tomorrow. Big glass of wine tonight might help.

yep, lots of good thoughts winging your way for tomorrow Sally x

Well done on the exams RWU - only you could have such an eventful first week - brilliant, you've announced your presence with a bang

Figgy and LGF - it is very disconcerting when the hair starts coming away, shave is a good idea I think, because you seem to get a couple of straggly bits hanging on for some reason - unless you favour the Arthur Scargill look, best get rid I'd say.

When it starts to come back, you might have to fight off family members trying to stroke your head - the new hair is very soft and fluffy

Sparkles - I'm glad DD likes the look of the school, and half days to start with sounds a good idea so she can settle in.

Smee - The satyr would certainly turned heads! but I glad he's happy with his pirate outfit complete with tattoos. I remember my friends and I adorning ourselves with transfers you got free with bubble gum (in the prehistoric times when I was a child) we thought we looked cool as all get out.

And how lovely to see your friend's scan - I hope everything goes well for her

Sally - I didn't know stainless steel rusted either I hope you find the kettle you want. I've given up slightly - we get lots of power surges where I live, and any kettle we have only lasts about six months, so now we just by the £5 Tesco ones since they're going to break anyway.

Well done on pointing out teatotal's dodginess on that other thread Cakes. I have to admit I reported one of the two unusual posters on this thread. The 'eat some herbs and sniff something, and your cancer will be cured' brigade get a bit boring after a while don't they?

LG - hope you are feeling OK today not too tired, and Figgy - the results from the Avastin sound very encouraging

MAS - I'm sure Celeste will be back to her usual self once that collar is off. I think toilet accidents are often a sign that they're a bit fed up and put out about something.

I have done something to my shoulder - I can hardly move it, I'm blaming some rather extreme yoga.

Sorry another huge post - I'm turning into a rambling old woman

Extreme yoga is bad for your health Kurri! Are you all right? Have you actually got a frozen shoulder? Extremely painful!

In case I don't get back on today. Good Luck Sally. Hope you get through tonight relatively calmly. Big hugs xxx

very good luck tomorrow Sally - will be thinking of you. xx

Thank you Sparkle - I'm hoping not frozen shoulder, my mother had that and it took ages to get better. I think it's probably a pulled muscle or a trapped nerve or similar.

We used to buy Chupa Chups on holiday in France as kids-they had a mint one which I loved- with stick on tattoos in the wrappers- we were covered in them - my aunt was cross because when they faded there were oblong white patches all over my cousin.
Ds had hair cut- uneventful -phew ! And she kindly cut more of my hair because the back was bothering me-so now it's vv short. Bless her though -she didn't charge me so I gave her a big tip instead.

All day silent meditation tomorrow- silent Mindful lunch too- am taking falafels.
FBS of the week- and truly divine- Waitrose Brioche Nanterre -ds and I have just polioshed off the whole loaf and we only bought it yesterday.

Thanks for all the thoughts guys. I've ended up with a busy day planned tomorrow so I'll be busy all morning before going to the GP and have had things to get ready tonight so not had any time to worry.

Kurri extreme yoga made me laugh, I can remember seeing 'extreme ironing' on some E4 tv show and it made me think of that. I've got visions of you doing yoga on our yoga mat careering down a mountain or something!

Wishing you the best of luck tomorrow, Sally.

I'm laughing at 'extreme yoga' and 'extreme ironing'.

Well I went to the GP earlier and she referred me to the breast clinic. She didn't/wouldn't offer any suggestions about what she thought it could be. I think she was trying very hard to not say anything that would panic me. She said the hospital are likely to see me later this week, maybe Wed, Thurs or Fri for scan, mammogram and possible biopsy. Shit scared doesn't cover it. I came home and looked at my little girls playing with their toys and blind panic hit me. Feeling better now, I had McDonalds for lunch...slimming world bugger off today!

Sally - I'm sorry you've still got more waiting and appointments - it is hard know. But if its any comfort, referrals to the breast clinic are very common - they always play it safe.

Do you have someone who could go to the appointment with you? A bit of support helps I think if its possible.

Try not to panic (I know that's easy to say), there is still a good chance it is not BC. And if it should turn out to be, then remember BC is a very treatable disease, and we will all be here to support you as much as we can.

You should be assigned a breast care nurse, and they are very good at helping with fear and worry, and will always chat with you on the phone if you just need to talk.

If you want any info. about what will happen at your appointment - I'll happily talk you through it - just lets me know

Take care, xxx

Sally - yes you see even a threat of BC is at least a very good reason to forget about dieting for a while. I'm sorry you're bound to be feeling worried at the moment, but try to deal with what you know and when horrible scenarios come into your head tell them to go away/ distract yourself/go for a walk. Or have a wail on your own and then do something else. It all helps. I'll be thinking of you.

Sorry haven't had time to keep up this week, and now trying to get ridg of clutter in 2 rooms as decorator arrives TUesday. But best wishes to all.

Orlando sends his love. (He's so sweet!)

Sally I have been where you are now, only a few months ago. I had the awful wait for the mammogram and ultrasound, then the biopsy and then surgery to remove the lump, it was benign, and the girls haven't thrown me off here yet! I know how you are worrying, but the chances are you will be like me. Big hugs

RWU - have just read back a bit - hige congratulations on passing all your exams! And the traffic story! How do you manage these things?!

Wishing everyone who's having treatment all the best, and try not to worry too much about the hair-loss. Its weird at the time but it will grow back beautifully and the urchin look is brill. I was told again this week that my new style has taken years off me!! Enjoy experimenting with as many different hats/scarves/buffs etc as you can. I liked one for all different sorts of occasions!

And diet, what diet ..... See cakes this is why I am not losing weight

Sally - I would echo what Kurri said. Please make sure you take someone with you? I didn't but wish I had. There is still a very good chance it is not BC so try and get on with life while you wait :)

Kurri - I like what you said about BC being a very treatable disease. Its my happy thought for today :)

DS2 has had some sort of D and V bug, which got me a bit worried as I really wouldn't want to catch that. What do I do? I can't not cuddle him? Luckily DP cleared up all the mess (it has some advantages) so hopefully I will be ok. DS2 is looking all sorry for himself now :(

The sun is shining here so we are all in the garden. I'd better get back out there while it lasts ....

hello- back from meditation day- sooo tired though ! yummy vegetarian lunch. Sally- I wish you weren't having to go through this waiting-always the worst bit- but it's better to get it all properly checked-your gp was just being thorough.
We'll be holding your hand all the way.

Can anyone tell me what is likely to happen at the breast clinic?

The GP was lovely but didn't seem sure about what would actually happen. I'm 30 so from googling (I know I shouldn't...) it sounds like I'd have physical exam, an ultrasound (rather than a mammogram) and a biopsy but the GP made it sound like they would choose to do a biopsy on the back of the scan results. Anyone know what is standard or is a case by case basis thing?
I hate needles so I'd like to know in advance if I'm likely to get stuck with a big needle!!

I think I'll have to go alone, DH will take time off work and stay at home with the DDs, I don't want to take them it would e a nightmare. We're fairly new to our area and don't have anyone to go with me. I have a very good friend who is sort of local but don't feel I can ask her to take time off work and apart from her I only know other mums from toddler group and they have their own DC to look after and I don't know them well. Family aren't nearby, my Dad could come up but being as we haven't mentioned it to him yet it isn't really on the cards. Ho hum.

LGF I hope your DS2 feels better soon, that must be rotten.

as you are young they are more likely to do an ultrasound rather than mammo -and if they want to check up on anything they'll do a biopsy- I only have experience of a core biopsy,which was completely painless- you'll get a local anaesthetic and they make a tiny cut and insert a device which pings out the sample- it doers make a bit of a noise (no one warned me !) but honestly,it was completely ok. Afterwards they put a pad on it and you may have a bit of bruising. They usually take a few samples of tissue. Really it's quite ok-I'm a complete wuss about these things and I found it tolerable.

Sally - I guess it varies but when I went I had a physical exam, and he then referred me straight down to X ray for a mamogram, ultra sound and biopsy. I am 40, so hence the need for a mamgram I guess? I got my results the same day, which although they wern't the results I wanted, it was quick. I guess it depends on whether the Consultant thinks there is a need for a biopsy?

I really wish that I had taken someone with me. It was only when they did the biopsy, that I realised how serious it was and I burst into tears. The nurse was lovely but not the same as having someone you know. I hadn't told anyone apart from DP, so it was hard to ask for help. Is there anyone who can look after the children for you so you can take DH with you?

I have learnt not to google anything as it scares me so much :)

DS is better and is in bed :) He must be the only 3 year old who pratically begs his parents to take him to bed. He loves his sleep

Hi Sally - I can tell you what I had and it is likely that you will have some of the same (although maybe not mammogram because of your age)

First I was examined by a breast surgeon. Based on his examination he recommended mammo, ultrasound and needle biopsy.

They ultra sound the area - that's fairly straightforward I just lay on a couch thing and a nurse held my hand, while they run the US over the breast.

For the biopsy, I had a local anaesthetic, then the biopsy needle sort of punches in and grabs a bit of the lump. It's not nearly as bad as it sounds - it's a pulling sensation more than anything. They'll keep you as covered up as possible, and there will be a nurse there as well as the ultrasound/biopsy Doctor.

I had to wait 2 weeks for my results (but sometimes they come through a little quicker - it partly depends on what days the surgeon has their clinic).

I hope none of that sounds too scary - physically none of it is too awful, a little uncomfortable perhaps, but bearable.

If there are questions you want to ask the doctor, my tip is to write them down. It's easy to forget stuff in these situations.

And if there are particular things in the procedures that you are anxious about - do tell them so they can help you through it. IME everyone is very kind and they try to make it as untraumatic as possible.

I hope the appointment comes through soon for you - so that it's less time for you to wait.