Update on Rindercella's DH

[Rindercella]

Apologies for putting my name in the thread title - it seems so self important but I don't mean it to be. So many of you offered so much help, support and fantastic advice, I just wanted to let you know where we are at. Previous threads here and here.

DH was diagnosed with advanced metastatic prostate cancer with secondary lymph node cancer in May last year, when our DD2 was just 5 weeks old. 9 months on and things are very far from well. DH's health has unfortunately really deteriorated since then. Particularly since Christmas he is suffering so much more pain and discomfort. He can now barely eat and is just so, so weak.

He saw his oncologist yesterday and he is to start a course of chemotherapy starting next Wednesday. He also needs a blood transfusion next week (and thank you to everyone who gives blood, what a brilliant thing you do).

He is a very, very ill man. It is so bloody hard to see the man I love so very much waste away. There is no prognosis. I know he is going to die from this fucking awful disease. I just don't know when.

I am getting counselling, which is definitely helping me. And my SIL is now more or less living with us which is so fanastic I cannot tell you - her being here helps us all so much, and it helps her and it helps the rest of their family, knowing that she is here. I actually don't know how I coped for the last couple of months before her arrival. I am still manically busy, and that's with an extra person helping me. I think DD1 feels it very much too and is especially clingy to me and she really hates me leaving her (eg when I drop her off at preschool).

Mostly this seems so surreal. Like I am not really typing these words. Cancer. Chemo. Only pallative. My darling husband. Those things just shouldn't be joined together. But they are and it is very, very painful.

I hope that the chemo does make DH feel better (I understand that he is likely to have bad days following the treatment). The worst pain for him is in his bones. He sometimes screams out with the pain. Just heartbreaking.

Does anyone have andy advice on how best to help him through his chemo?

I'm so glad to hear that he has rallied, and that he can have his chemo. I will keep everything crossed for you both.

And now, you need to make sure that you get a break. Take advantage of having your family around you and make sure that you get some sleep. You will be no good to your DH if you are knackered as well.

I am hoping that no innocent lambs need be slaughtered, but it is great news that they can offer some more treatment, and that your brave DH is up for this.

Keep fighting the good fight. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

love and kindness to you, rinders.

Good to read your update and my thoughts and prayers remain wih you.
I agree - this is an evil disease. Malignant in every sense.

GLad to hear that Richard is doing better, but so sorry about the bed sore. That sounds very painful and completely unnecessary on top of everything else the poor man has on his plate.

My DD2 was 4 yesterday and I thought of you all at her party. I am so glad you will be able to celebrate your DD2#s birthday en famille next weekend.

Take care and love, prayers and strength to you all.

Thinking of you and hoping all is well for Tuesday xx

Everything crossed for you for Tuesday Rinders (it's BMI from the a/n thread here, btw). Thinking of you lots x

Rinders - thank you for the update - I've been thinking of you, hoping for some good news - and here it is :)

I didn't want to keep posting everyday because I felt it would clutter up the thread and may end up making it look overwhelming for you to read when you did get a chance, but I am thinking of you all, all of the time x

I'm vegetarian & not at all religious - so can't really sacrifice the flock - would a sock do instead? They're very special to me?? I've hung one on the washing line, all on it's own??!!

I will be sending Richard lots and lots and lots of 'good hgb level' vibes!! and keeping my fingers & toes crossed.

Good news about DD2's Birthday party :)

Make sure Richard understands that you will be taking lots of photos of DD's birthday party & other photos of him with you all as well - you can put them somewhere private later on if you get to take nicer ones of him in robust health, but for now, how he is - is what you have, and he needs to understand that no matter how ill he feels he looks you all need photos with him x

DD2 turning into a big 1 year old - hasn't it flown by! They are both very beautiful girls! We will, of course, need an updated photo of the birthday girl!

Look after yourself x

That's a great update, so pleased to hear that things are looking better today.

Enjoy your family time together, let's hope that it is long lasting.

happy to sacrifice a lamb - if we can then eat it with lots of mint sauce !!!

have thought about you all weekend and was hoping that your dh had improved.
sending lots of positive thoughts.

Thinking of you. If there is anything you want, let me know. I am good at sending things in the post or babysitting.

Can I just add my heartfelt thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

I have just come across this thread and couldn't read it and not post. I have read the whole thing, most of the time with tears, and wanted to add my positive vibes to those already pouring your way.

Your strength and dignity scream from every post you make. You are an amazing person (in all you incarnations) and I agree with a previous poster that your equally amazing DH has drawn considerable strength and support from this knowledge.

This disease is, as you so rightly say, evil. It is indiscriminate, powerful and consuming. I know I am merely repeating what others have already said. I just couldn't read and move on.

I am sending huge positive vibes to you and your family. I hope the sun has reached you and warmed you all this weekend.

Oh, Rindercella, I am so glad that there is some good news regarding your DH - I hope his blood counts hold and he will continue to feel a bit stronger.

I hope you won't be able to read this post for some time as you are resting, sleeping, looking after yourself .

Y y to taking lots of photos/videos at youd DD2's birthday - her daddy will just have to agree to that - so, so pleased that he is going to be around for that occasion.

Edgar's thread and news was just too heartbreaking for words and puts any minor hiccup I have with my brood into perspective... .

Wishing you a lovely sunny weekend in the company of those you love xx.

Keeping every thing crossed that Richard is able to have his chemo this week Rinders. Much love xx

Thinking of you all xxxxxxx

With DH at the hospice now. They have cancelled tomorrow's chemo. Even before the blood results came back, they said he is just not strong enough. We can only hope that he gains some strength during the week and they can then rethink. Of course we are both gutted. I feel sick, sick, sick.

I'm sorry, Rindercella. x

So sorry. Hope DH gains strength over the next few days. He is so lucky to have you.

{{{{hugs}}}}

Oh no. I am sorry. I hope he gets a bit stronger.

So sorry Rinders. Hopefully with a few days fantastic care at the hospice he'll regain some strength. Thinking of you x

Thinking of you, Rinders.

Rindercella, I don't think I have ever posted on one of your threads before, but I have always kept up with your news, and just want to say I am so, so sorry this has happened to your lovely family.

You sound like you are doing amazingly well, hopefully a few days at the hospice will be enough to get the chemo going again.

xxx

You are in my thoughts Rinders xx