Update on Rindercella's DH

[Rindercella]

Apologies for putting my name in the thread title - it seems so self important but I don't mean it to be. So many of you offered so much help, support and fantastic advice, I just wanted to let you know where we are at. Previous threads here and here.

DH was diagnosed with advanced metastatic prostate cancer with secondary lymph node cancer in May last year, when our DD2 was just 5 weeks old. 9 months on and things are very far from well. DH's health has unfortunately really deteriorated since then. Particularly since Christmas he is suffering so much more pain and discomfort. He can now barely eat and is just so, so weak.

He saw his oncologist yesterday and he is to start a course of chemotherapy starting next Wednesday. He also needs a blood transfusion next week (and thank you to everyone who gives blood, what a brilliant thing you do).

He is a very, very ill man. It is so bloody hard to see the man I love so very much waste away. There is no prognosis. I know he is going to die from this fucking awful disease. I just don't know when.

I am getting counselling, which is definitely helping me. And my SIL is now more or less living with us which is so fanastic I cannot tell you - her being here helps us all so much, and it helps her and it helps the rest of their family, knowing that she is here. I actually don't know how I coped for the last couple of months before her arrival. I am still manically busy, and that's with an extra person helping me. I think DD1 feels it very much too and is especially clingy to me and she really hates me leaving her (eg when I drop her off at preschool).

Mostly this seems so surreal. Like I am not really typing these words. Cancer. Chemo. Only pallative. My darling husband. Those things just shouldn't be joined together. But they are and it is very, very painful.

I hope that the chemo does make DH feel better (I understand that he is likely to have bad days following the treatment). The worst pain for him is in his bones. He sometimes screams out with the pain. Just heartbreaking.

Does anyone have andy advice on how best to help him through his chemo?

Rindercella I'm so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you xx

thinking of you xx

Still thinking of you all xxxx

Also thinking of you and hoping you can draw some comfort and strength from all our virtual handholding.

Sorry to hear you have had more bad news! You remain in my thoughts x

What Sariska said,
With love and positive thoughts
x

You and your family are in my thoughts.
What a dignified and warm lady you sound. I hope that is returned to you ten-fold by those around you at the moment xxx

So sorry Rinders, - it's really hard when you get yourself up for something and it doesn't happen.

Thinking of you all xx

Damn it :(

Still, chemo is incredibly hard on your body, so it's probably better not to do it right now if he's not up to it. Hopefully a few more days at the hospice will build up his strength again and he'll be ready for it at the end of the week. Fingers crossed x

Try to focus on celebrating DD1's birthday as a family.

Much love
Chippy
x

Thinking about you and sending all my positive thoughts your way. x

sorry Rindercella, you dont know me but i'm thinking of you all x

I am so sorry R isn't strong enough at the moment for chemo. Thinking of you all.

Still thinking of you all x

Sorry that Richard's chemo has been cancelled.
More love coming at you from Italy.xx

Sorry to read the update. Just keep hanging in there, it's all you can do. Re the feeling sick - brutal practical point but are you actually eating anything? Sometimes a lack of food can make you feel as sick as you feel eating would.

with all my love

So sorry that that DH is not strong enough for Chemo.

In my thoughts xx

So sorry about this setback. Hoping dd has a nice party - sorry can't remember what day it is on xxx

Oh Rinders, I'm sorry to hear this. I hope he feels stronger soon.

Rinders - continuing to think of you. So sorry that R is not strong enough for the chemo this week but I hope that the care he is getting in the hospice will build his strength up to have it soon and also to enjoy the upcoming birthday celebrations.
Hold strong and look after yourself as best you can too xx

Oh, Rinders. So sorry to hear that. But, as essence says, hopefully the hospice will be able to build Richard's strength up to the point where he can have chemo.

I am praying my bloody beads off here for you and Richard and for all the strength in the world for both of you.

All the love in the world x x

I'm another one who's followed your posts for ages but said nothing. Thinking of you all.

Oh, Rinders .

I was worried this might happen. But deferring his next chemo may well mean that he will not feel quite so rotten for DD2's birthday

As ever, thinking of you all and wishing you strength and comfort. I really hope the hospice can work its magic on R.

PD xx.