**the 7th Tamoxifen Thread **

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we are...

hi all, sorry for the absence... have been busy doing everyone's accounts before the deadline! will be back soon!

Hi RWU - lovely to see you

yay RWU !

Hiya RWU - oddly enough I was going to ask about you today!

How like you to be doing everyone's tax returns. Wish you had done mine it was hell

SR - I am watching you on Slimming World with interest.

I am trying to do an hour's exercise a day (unlikeley to succeed but may as well aim high) and have cut out all treats. Also alcohol in the week (this is not a treat it is a necessity). Not sure it's enough, but we'll see. LJ - I am not sure why I have put on weight. I didn't lose my appetite during chemo and certainly partied quite a lot bit to keep my spirits up. I also think the steroids have an effect. But now it just won't go. Everyone's experience is different though, so if you do fins yourself on this treatment regime, just be aware and keep an eye to save yourself grief later. My onc was really quite rude about my added weight: I was determined to lose it and show the little git, but so far the laugh's on me.

lol cakes, they can be hell can't they! needles to say i'm not doing it out of the goodness of my heart, i am charging heavily

Oh Cakes, if there is a chance of not losing appetite but of putting weight on during chemo, that'll probably be me then!

I have a cast-iron stomach, it takes a LOT to make me lose my appetite, and usually once food is in it's IN and that's that . I remember even at school being jealous of friends who would look all delicate and wan if they were ill, and have the teachers asking if they wouldn't be better off at home. Even if feeling half dead I always looked as sturdy and rosy-cheeked as usual!

(Sorry I do realise this is not something I should really be complaining about , and that I may soon be eating my words, if nothing else)

SR - how was your first weekend on Slimming World? And I meant to say, how lovely that two of your friends are there too!

Ah, there's cash involved I hope you did charge heavily RWU, for the last 2 years I have found it really, really hard (and I speak as someone who has been on the HMRC course abut filling in tax returns ). If knowledge is power, the bill for doing this should be astronomical.

LJ - me too. On chemo I had a craving for red wine, cake - oh and salads, which was good, but clearly not enough to counteract the rest of it.

I crave salad quite a bit, love it, happy to eat it every day, but I do like a nice fat dressing on it...

Sparkle - how are you feeling now? Did you ask for a Reconsideration for the DLA?

LJ - sorry, meant to say in answer to your question on Friday that i was in hospital for one night following second lymph gland operation. I was originally told i could go home same day but that didn't happen, and I had to press to go home next day as well. There seems to be wide discrepancy between doctors on whether or not you need to be in hospital while the drain is in. See how you feel and then ask for what you want, would be my advice. Dealing with the drain yourself is yukky but easy and district nurses are happy to help if you need them.

Let's have an update sparkles - especially as LJ seems to know her way around the system a bit.....

Do District Nurses really still exist? Are they motherly and do they come round on a bicycle? I am really quite excited by the thought of that

Otherwise, would much rather stay in hospital! I do rather like hospital food too, and being 'looked after' and not having to worry about doing .....well, anything much!

The main factor about the timing of me coming home is childcare, and trying to avoid DH losing yet more money by having yet more time off. So any time over the weekend would be best for us, with DH working from home on the Friday so he is there for the boys but still earning.

Oh yes district nurses still exist, though they have abandoned bikes and are often quite strict. Mine told me off because i was working when she came round

They are good though, and come every day if you like. And if you dont want them, they phone up, which is cheery.

Of course, how nice hospital is depends a lot on who is in the same room. I'd agree it can be quite nice to relinquish all responsibility for a bit. On that surgery ward it would have been OK to stay in really - but a couple of months later, when I was hospitalised with swine flu (they were being cautious owing to the chemo) I was next to an elderly woman who was confused and kept calling the nurse to answer the front doorbell all night . I could quite cheerfully have lamped her, if it hadn't been such a pain dragging my drip around. When they decided i should be in isolation and wheeled me out I could have kissed them.

Lovely day here - blue skies and spring like. Me and the cat aren't too sure how to handle it..

Waves to RWU. Was wondering where you were. Had visions of you galloping over frosted hills, but doing other people's tax returns?! Blimey are there no end to your talents?

LJ, my hospital were more than willing to hurl me out with drains in place. I think it's up to the surgeon or one of their team to discharge you, so ask one of them to get a straight answer. Has anyone told you to take a shoulder bag yet to carry the drain in? I hadn't a clue and was offered a tesco carrier bag by the hospital. Idea is something that can sling across your body, with the bag at waist height, so that the drain bottle (size of a sports drink bottle), can come under your top and go straight into it. It's a bit yuk, but it's not for long. Glad it's happening soon for you though. Another thing through.

Hair dilemma here, as I'm now the proud owner of a mullet. I had a massive bald patch on top, and lost lots from back and front, but hair was so thick that I could get away with buffs and scarves throughout. Now though, I have tufts of very thick curly hair (yeay, even though it's bizarre as my hair's usually straight!!), which spikes and pokes out from scarves or buffs in a deranged bad hair cut sort of way. I have a work meeting on Wednesday with someone who doesn't know about the whole cancer thing. I can't work out whether to tell him or just let him think my slovenliness has finally gotten the better of me..

Hope Sparkles is feeling okay today. Takes a time though, so don't despair if it's not.

Wishing everyone else a sunny day.

Well I am all for that kind of being strict - that's sort of motherly - and serve you right!

Yes you are totally right (as usual ) about the relinquishing responsibility bit (bliss I find) and particularly about it depending on your bed-fellows. Breast op was fine, but when I was in for my arm the whole bay (6 beds) was kept awake and disturbed by one old lady. She kept trying to get out of bed, rattling her bars, as well as shouting all night. On the second night I was there the nurses put her locker up against the bed to try to stop her getting out. She somehow managed to knock it over , big crash in middle of night. So very wise nurse came and wheeled her away and put her in the Sister's Office! We were all so grateful, altho sorry for the old dear. She was wheeled back in next morning.

Hi Smee - what are buffs?? My hair has always been wild and unruly and never allowed me to look professional so I do sympathise. Assume it's too late for Erica to be of any use?

I was wondering what you do if hair loss is partial rather than complete - my hair is long and curly/wavy/frizzy. Was picturing some delightful kind of 'comb-over' possibilities.

Thanks for the tip about the bag - will have to remember to hunt one out and take it with me. Can't stand Tesco, would rather have Sainsbury's if nothing else!

Smee - is it long enough to be scraped back into a tight ponytail and all stuck down with gel? A la Sade, circa 1986? Used to do that at the time, was the 'smoothest' I ever looked.

Poor her - makes you realise how many of them there must be, as we all get them when we are in hospital for a bit. Bit of a worry for the future...

Smee - hair. Hard to say what would be the way forward. I told work-related people just as and when i saw them, to explain the sometimes atrocious odd headwear. I have to say, everyone was absolutely golden. If you do it in a casual sort of way, just to explain the appearance, it should pass off without too much trauma. It's down to personal choice, I guess, but I didn't really want people to think I was too eccentric.

if you look generally reasonably smartly dressed and made-up, that'll kind of balance the hair thing out

Cakes - absolutely. Shan't relay the sad tales from DH's stay in hospital in September, but included nurses being hit by old lady. Orthopaedic wards tend to have more than their fair share of older people for obvious reasons .

Methinks your experienced advice to Smee is much more worthwhile and practical than my Sadé looky-likey suggestion, which may at least raise a laff!

Huge f-off necklace to 'draw the eyes down'? (I'm at it again..)

Hi all, - well done on the tax returns RWU, - they are a nightmare. How are the horses getting on?

Smee - I think I would tell him, then you won't be worrying 'does he think my hair's mad' (I'm sure it isn't really), could you put a scarf on and just have a few bits poking artistically out at the front?

I agree with everyone else LJ - stay in hospital as log as you feel you want to. I was offered the chance to stay in, but I feel more relaxed at home so left the next day. We were provided with little knitted drain bags, which we were allowed to take home, and return later. I presume they have a contingent of knitters making them for them.

I found the District nurses very good, they came round every day until the drain came out, and then a couple of times after that to check the wound. They don't appear to mind if your house is a mess - which is very lucky in my case

I went to yoga this morning, and completely embarrassed myself by fainting, no idea why, it was quite warm in the room, or maybe I'm so hideously unfit I over exerted myself . I felt very stupid - haven't done that since school when I used to faint in the lunch queue because I was hungry

Cross posted and didn't see the Sade idea! Sounds worth considering, as long as there isn't a high wind, when it might loosen and start to look like a Bobby Charlton comb-over

Fainting sounds pretty unusual KK - either you are starving yourself (unlikely, I guess [ wink] ) or coming down with something. Do you feel OK now? [clucking hen emoticon] - also, I had meant to ask, has that pain you had gone now?

Ooh, Kurri - I want a knitted drain bag! How very on trend! Wouldn't want to take it back tho - surely would double as a handy wine drinks bottle bag for many occasions!

No chance of the District Nurses pushing the hoover around I suppose? Maybe if I said it would make me feel ever so much better ...

Poor you with the fainting - sounds like you should always go around with a couple of FBS in your pocket - or maybe in a cute litte knitted bag ....

Can anyone tell I am sitting here with a long list of stuff I am supposed to be getting done before I go into hospital but which doesn't interest me as much as chatting with you lovely lot?

Hospital bays are a lottery, aren't they. I was lucky with my back op and made a good friend of one of the women. Breast op was a bit more of a mare, but I was only there for two nights so was manageable.

LJ, oh to look like Sade - think I've still got that album somewhere!! Here's Buff site, though you can get them in lots of shops too: www.buffshop.co.uk/?gclid=CIX93sLW5KYCFYEOfAodeTjW7A

Hair loss depends on drugs you get given. Some of mine stayed because I used a thing called a Cold Cap. Can easily talk you through pros and cons of that if you do have to have chemo and are considering it.

Sadly, Erica and I never quite worked. I walked round the house in her last week in a last ditch attempt at harmony, but she doesn't look like me and I find it so uncomfortable that I can't imagine actually going out in her, so she's back in her box and sulking.. Hair's quite short, so ponytail not an option. Am thinking I should just fess up and tell him. Am pitching for work, so maybe it'll guilt him into giving me the contract. [shameless emoticon] Cakes, did you find it helped?! Or are you far more moral than me?

LJ, am liking the necklace idea, though am not a jewellery person at all. Bugger, am a woman in my 40's - must learn to accessorise.

You're all posting too fast to keep up with..

Kurri, fainting?? Is it the dieting?? If it happens again, go to the doctors and get BP checked. I used to faint due to low BP. Very embarrassing.

• no, sadly I can't get away with artful strands poking at the front, as it spikes out all through the back as well. DH was nigh on hysterical last night, imagining me at a meeting but never able to turn my back.

LJ, I don't think the nurses hoover - I did hear that midwives in Holland do - they shop and make meals for new mothers too. But that's on a tangent, so far from helpful. I hated the Nurses coming, if only because you never knew when they were going to turn up and then they can natter on forever. I didn't even get offered them for my drains though.

I wish you a knitted bag!