Discreet help required

[jabberofjobbie]

I'm a parent & grown man & i've came here for advice on a subject i don't want to shout about. I think i may have contracted a male version of what as known as the "blue waffle" disese, i'm ashamed & embarresed & don't want to go to my gp.

I don't what will have caused it

Just go to your GP, if this is real

I get the feeling I shouldn't really google "blue waffle disease" or even "blue waffle disese" so could someone enlighten me please?

[fick MNer emoticon]

to anyone naive enough to think this is real do not google blue waffle

well I wasn't so careful and discovered (from what looked like not very official links) that in women it's a disease where the vagina goes blue because of excessive masturbation

see now i WANT to google it!!!

This is honestly real & i was hoping this was somewhere i could seek soliace, just under my "hood" has went a light blue colour.

well no, this isn't really somewhere you can seek solace. What solace do you need? If you have worrying symptoms, see your GP or go to a GUM clinic.

well if you think you have blue waffle disease i don't think you can say you don't know what has caused it now can you????

if you're worried then see a GP

This would be real if a) this was diagnosemenet
and b) if we didn't get this at least twice a year - and always during school holidays.

Funny that.

still haven't googled

But from the responses you've already received, I am fairly sure I know what your problem is.

Your winky's going to fall off.

This shouldn't be too much of a problem, after all, plastic surgeons are fantastic nowadays and can do wonders with a couple of lolly sticks and a bit of sellotape.

Try not to worry too much about it, and maybe you should warn your mum so if she finds it in your bedclothes she won't panic that there's a slug invasion

It may be the exessive masturbation, i've done that alot since my partner went off sex after the birth of our child.

Your username may be a clue perhaps.....

Run along, I expect your mum will have your lunch ready shortly.

aha

Can no one take me seriously, my user name is just my sense of humour which i'm trying to keep even tho i may have contracted this horrible disease.

jabberofjobbie Sat 23-Oct-10 12:18:48

Can no one take me seriously,

er... no

What exactly did you want from this thread?
I ahve a similar disease - would it help if I explained how I got it and all the details?

In that case, your 'sense of humour' points to the fact that you are a 15 year old boy.

You would be taken seriously with a serious post.

We need an Under The Bridge topic don't we?!

I'm afraid the blue bits will turn to cheese if i don't get it attended to

do you have a preference to which type of cheese?
Are you hoping for a mature cheddar, or maybe a tub of philadelphia?

oh dear oh dear.....

I think you should 'attend' to it yourself, I suspect you already do quite regularly.

oh and mine did exactly the same. Would it help if I posted a photo?

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.igourmet.com/images/topics/cheddar1.jpg&imgrefurl=www.dullmensclub.com/appreciation-societies.html&usg=__OJWSc0whv_zrTMNASCPMFWYTA44=&h=325&w=325&sz=76&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=O5EV7aXnkBcajM:&tbnh=145&tbnw=138&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dlump%2Bof%2Bcheese%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1276%26bih%3D591%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=902&vpy=65&dur=16&hovh=225&hovw=225&tx=144&ty=90&oei=b8bCTNTZG4-K4Qavt9W5Aw&page=1&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here you go