The first rule about LIGHTer Club..

[BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger]

Is you don't talk about Lighter club

Only Joking - No Rules.

Welcome to our second thread, lots of chat and healthy eating.

I'm Bitter, have about 7lb to lose. Eating Less, Moving more.

Oh Fluffs.

That's just shite. Fecking parents and the way they still have a hold over us, even now...... in one way or another.

I guess I mean the ability to upset us. We are adults. We are over 18 and we have our own lives.

Mine are Daily Express readers. Just as bad.

Fluffs, can I give you a tiny hug? Just a virtual one?

Mouse - definitely yes to the hug

I have a dilema now... cast your votes please...

When I went back to work 4 days a week, after dd1, dd did 3 days nursery and 1 day with my parents each week. She has a very close/strong relationship with them and I felt it was good for her to have a day with family rather than another at nursery. They took/take her everywhere, swimming, zoos etc and generally spoilt her rotten.

My dad mentioned the other day that they assume they will do the same for dd2. Now I am only going back 3 days (cross fingers), so she would be in nursery 3, with me the rest.

But, if they did have her one day a week that would mean she was with family all days except for 2 at nursery, which I feel would be better than 3 at nursery for her because she's only little. Would also save us £140 a month in fees but thats a secondary consideration.

Thing is it gives them a massive hold over me and blurs boundaries. Do I therefore say no (to give me an easier life) or say yes (to give dd2 a better life)? I wanted to say no but know she would get far better one to one care with them that day than she would at nursery (its a lovely nursery but its not grandparents is it).

What do you think? I promise I'll stop the 'me me me' posts in a minute

Enjoy double x

fluffy - beyond rude behaviour from your dad, fully see why you are fuming. no easy answers with this sort of issue - depends what is best for 1)your mental health and 2)the kids world view. i.e. how much danger there is of your dcs picking on your dad belittling you as double said.

saf - was brought up in similar circs to your DS - sounds like you have done great so far - only thing to add - always hold your head up high, and remember to be PROUD! even if it's hard to feel proud, just think that you want to transmit proud vibes rather than shameful unmarried vibes to your DS.

Fluff I think that your parents messing with your head (and your DD seeing this) would mean 3 days nursery for me. And I would tell them why as well.
I am so sorry, you are so utterly fabulous, can't believe your Dad would be so nasty and unfeeling.

Hi TC, how are you?

Fluffs - I'm with the majority here, no. Have her with you. And yes, if they start the 'aren't we good enough for you/her's...... Er yes, actually! You're not!

I really feel for you. DD2 will NOT suffer for not having a full day with her GPs. You will on the other hand, with the hold they will then have over you.

It's horrid that you are stuck like this but be brave and say no. 3 days nursery.

TC - yes, how are things?

Double - have a fab night if I've not missed you.

Orf to Bedfordshire now.

Sleep well my lovely LIGHTer peeps.

NO BOOZE HERE!!

Day 2 done. Night. xx

Fluffy, I am sorry but I would go with Nursery, she will get a balanced view of things, and whilst no it is not 'grandparents', the scissors and screwdriver comment concerns me massively. Because what are they saying about you in their way that she is picking up... has a comment about you triggered that in your own daughter and if so, how sad? Don't be so sure about conversations going over their heads .. they are very astute and don't miss a lot.

We thought lots had gone over DD's head over the last few years but some of her drawings have shown differently. Your child sweetheart, so be guided by your natural instinct to protect your relationship with her.. x

Evening all. Work was the usual bag o'shite.

Fluff, go with the nursery. My DD has never spent a full day with any of her grandparents without me, in fact she didn't even meet the in laws until she was past her first birthday and DS has stayed overnight I think twice with my parents.

My point is, the DC still adore the GP's and they are a big part of each others lives.

I think nursery is a win-win for you because they will still get the love of their grandparents, but you will be less stressed out about them having some kind of hold over you.

And if my parents ever spoke to me like that I would be disgusted, so for you.

Aw, saf I'm humbled.

Hi all, just a very brief hello, to say hope you are all well. Had an amazing weekend at Camp Bestival, can highly reccommend it.

Ah, I'm grand Saf. I have a cup of tea and a cigarette. Still trying to keep mouse company, even though she has gone to bed.

Dinner sounds lovely double. I didn't have any in the end - I will wake up starving tomorrow.

I'm fine with tea, it's too late for me to eat.

Surprisingly, I had no barking customers tonight. Just the usual management bollocks.

If you want me to work miracles pay me more than £8.50 an hour, you numpties. (it's the word of the day!)