*TAMOXIFEN* the 5th

[MaryAnnSingleton]

in case we forget and find ourselves at 1000 - here's a fresh new thread !

that is gross ! poor charity shop people. I send clean underwear for fabric recycling- wouldn't dream of expecting people to buy my old pants

I kind of like spiders, but definitely not in my knicker drawer. And 'eck, who on earth would give their old undies to a charity, let alone buy them?! Cakes at the skid marked pants. If there was a shudder emoticon I'd use one.

MAS, how's the hair today? Have you got more used to it?? What was your DS's reaction? Does he like it?

Nowt to tell here. Very very wet and I have to do boring things like accounts.

ds didn't mention it at all but dh really liked it- am feeling better about it as I've been able to make it look suitably tousled and flicky - have a fear of having frump hair, but really my hair is way to fine to keep long - am hoping it looks cool and edgy - hah ha !

Cool and edgy sounds the way to go, MAS.

I bet it is cool and edgy. Mine is too, on a good day, but just sometimes, it looks a bit nearer to frump. That's when I know it needs another chop.

I've just accompanied dd's school to their harvest festival, which was nice - but she and her friends were singing a marching song which was getting on the nerves of a kid who is known to have "issues" with his temper. I chased him off three times, and reminded them quietly that I would not be around if he seeks vengeance at lunchtime. I bet he lands her one. In some respects she'll deserve it, because I got the distinct impression that she thought she was fireproof while I was around.

Cakes you are a better soul then I. There's a school trip to the market tomorrow, and I said I couldn't help. Would normally, but haven't the energy for now. Hope DD doesn't get thumped though. Is this the same kid who's been making her life miserable, or another one?

Smee, you have a great reason for not doing it, I didn't do it last year either.

It's not the same kid, no. This is one with serious temper issues who has a one-on-one worker, so he can be seriously fighty. The one who was causing problems before isn't in the same league and seems to have been dealt with, at least for now (I've told dd to remain cautious as it probably won't last). But I hope she doesn't get hit as well, i imagine she'd go down like a skittle with this lad. I must say, he even looks like trouble (I know we shouldn't be judgey, but he just has one of those faces that suggests the temper is just about to bubble over).

Your hair sounds great MAS, very cool and edgy talking of which, Plan B sounds very cool and edgy too Cakes - have fun!

Hope DD is OK and manages to avoid the difficult boy, but I'm glad the other problem child has been sorted out for now.

How is the chest infection Smee, have they put you on an anti biotics? - hope you're feeling better soon.

I spent yesterday manning (or womanning) an information stall for the BC exercise groups I go to. It was an event in the hospital, all the BC support charities were there giving out leaflets and chatting to people. I met a lovely young woman who was DX a couple of years ago at 24, she does modelling for upmarket mastectomy wear - she was a stunning girl, tall and willowy, and real English rose looks. She runs a group for younger women with BC, - they meet up for drinks and outings, information talks etc. or at each others houses. I think we are very lucky in Norfolk with the number of support organizations.

I'm worn out after yoga and aquastretch this morning (we did a frog jumping conga in the pool - which was chaotic to say the least and fell apart due to everyone laughing too much).

I'm going up to Scotland for 10 days on Saturday to stay with my sister and BIL, its DH's 50th birthday while we are there, so we'll have a bit of a party, - I'm really looking forward to going

A nice weekend in Scotland sounds perfect KK. I hear the weather is going to be a bit good as well, so here's hoping for lots of fresh air and heather.

Yoga and aqua stretch sounds knackering (but fun). Am missing my own ones tonight owing to Plan B so went to a pilates thing on monday. God, it still hurts.

At our aqua one we do a thing where we have to sit on those long sausage float things and paddle ourselves right around the pool forwards, and then again backwards. I feel quite a twit doing it, but it's meant to be good for the upper arms

oh I love those sausage things (woggles !)
I always want to bite them...my float when I was learning to swim was bitten all the way round.
Scotland sounds a very nice trip KK - and happy bday to Mr KK.
Hope Cakes' dd didn't get bashed by quick tempered boy

Woggles - that's it!

No, dd's face is mercifully intact

Hair sounds great MAS, even better cool n edgy! My 2mm growth is fair so still invisible to anyone but me right up close to the mirror. But feels lovely and velvety, so happy with it already. Any suggestions as to how many weeks/months after last epi it might be long enough to look like it is a hairstyle?? Am now 6 wks.

Glad to hear Cakes dd didn't get whacked, but sounds like some life skills teaching on avoidance of People Who Look Like Trouble may be in order, at the risk of judging on looks as you say.

What a perfect weekend for Scotland. Happy birthday KK dh! It's our 18th wedding anniversary this weekend. I love this time of year, or at least I used to- I feel strangely sadder for the leaves this year. Think I shd get some help fr that??

Week 3 of radio and no side effects so far, tho not half way yet. Ran 1.6 miles yesterday! Ate chocolate brownies in self congratulation for the rest of the day, ds not amused with tin of crumbs when he got home from school :)

cupcaked - ooh happy wedding anniversary !! poor ds missing out on brownies but I do think you deserved them

Cakes, am mighty glad DD didn't get thumped. Why is there always one mad boy in every class? Is it some sort of primary school rule?! We have one too, though he's calmer than he was. He used to throw chairs, now he just hits, so progress of sorts.

All this talk of woggles - I love woggles!! First time I had hands on one, was in the pool with DS. I stole it, as I thought it was such a fab thing - I had to give it back when he cried.

Kurri, chest infection seems to have settled thanks, so think I'll be okay now. Am still very tired and achey, but my taste buds are starting to return and mouth ulcers subsiding, so hip-hip-hooray. Might dare to put a bottle of something divine in the fridge to celebrate this weekend. Am sure DH needs it as much as me. We're both a bit grouchy. Must arrange more nice things to remind us life's going to be better from now on.

I do like the sound of the Norfolk support network. I've still to meet anybody else apart from at treatment. Have relied on good friends to get me through so far. I'm going to one of those 'Look Good Feel Better' Workshops in November. Mainly coerced into it by best friend, who's very into the idea of me getting a goodie bag of freebies she can raid.

How's the poor little dog? Is he back to his old self? And Scotland does sound rather wonderful. Ten days is a perfect length of time too. Long enough to really relax.

Cupcaked, am sure I read hair grows on average at 6 inches a year. If that's right you'll soon be gorgeously spiky!

Glad Rads have no effect yet and already half way through. Are they using a bolus? Seem to remember you said you had close skin margins. I'm having one for that reason, so am curious.

Feeling sad for the leaves chimes with me. I started crying walking back after dropping DS at school today. Crisp Autumn sun somehow got to me. Am sure it's normal as we've been through so much, but it's strange how it hits you and when.

But running and chocolate brownies sounds excellent. I shall aspire to that. Happy Anniversary for the weekend. Are you celebrating?

And MAS is it this weekend you're away? Are you and your new haircut looking forward to it yet?

happy anniversary CC with regard to the hair, I finished chemo on the last day of March (I had epi and cmf) have a photo of myself at end of June with a decent amount of hair - short crop style, but it didn't scream 'cancer patient' IYKWIM. It might have been back earlier than that, - but I just happen to know when that photo was taken. If you have the fluff, I would say you are well on the way and you will see a weekly difference.

Glad you are feeling a bit better Smee, mouth ulcers are a pain, so it's good they have gone. Something nice in the fridge sounds an excellent plan.

Hope you have a good time at the 'look good feel better', - I really enjoyed mine, and I'm not really a make -up kind of person, but I felt very pampered. The goody bag is very nice - has some lovely products in it, proper stuff not samples.

Dog is quite a bit better now, she's finished her AB's, she can't quite manage to pick up her ball yet, which is frustrating her, but is managing some slightly chewier food, so I think things are healing.

DS and his GF are coming over at some point today to collect some bits and pieces of set. They open with 'Look Back in Anger' tomorrow, - DS directed and is playing Jimmy Porter. We'll go and see it when we get back from holiday.

I've bought DH some geology tools for his b'day - he's very keen on fossil hunting, rocks etc., and Dsis and I have planned a trip for him to a good mineral/fossil beach near her. And also another trip to somewhere you can see Eider Duck, and seals (and if you are lucky dolphins) so he can take lots of photos. He will be very spoilt

DH's birthday sounds fab, KK.

Happy anniversary CC - and bloody well done for running. I am seriously impressed.

Smee -i had a bolus. It seems to focus the rays more in the one area, and so that bit does seem to get a bit more sore, but they keep a close eye on it all, so don't worry.

We had a chair thrower a couple of years ago, but he got expelled. Now we just have the punchy child - but dd says she is not scared of him because he threatens a lot but doesn't do anything (she seems to have forgotten he punched her in the stomach a couple of weeks ago, so I'l guessing that didn't hurt as much as she said it did).

I'm not sure if we have done this already, but i was thinking last night about the things about my life that BC has changed.:

So I'll kick off - I am less of a control freak at home (I have recognised that other people can do things their way, or not do them at all, and the world won't end).

I don't save things for best - if it's nice, i deserve to use it now, not later.

I have discovered who my real friends are, and how kind, wise and funny they are (I'm including you lot here). And also who really couldn't give a toss.

I get out and do the things I want to do, rather than finding excuses not to - eg last night's concert. I am shagged out now and have a serious headache, but it was bloody worth it

I think I laugh more - and just don't sweat the small stuff.

So that's the post BC world at cakes's house, and in some ways it is better than before. Anyone else? I'm betting that even those of you still going through active treatment have noticed a few differences....

glad you are feeling a bit better smee
There was a boy in yr 2 who was seriously disturbed and used to regularly storm out ,shout,swear..was quite scary -I used to have him in the little group I took when helping out.
Yes, off tomorrow - am looking forward to the lovely bed and fab food :-)
Break a leg KK's ds !

Kurri, am impressed by your son and scared for him too. Jimmy Porter's one hell of a role. Also, I think I want to be your DH. Fossil hunting sounds like an excellent post chemo bit of therapy to me, though I'd insist on a sun kissed beach and a ginormous picnic too.

On LGFB, well I'm useless at make up and don't really own any (apart from newly acquired eyebrow pencil!), but still it'll be fun with a bit of luck to meet other women in same boat, so thought I might as well.

Cakes, we've been lucky as our chair throwing boy has decided to steer largely clear of DS. When they started in reception, DS came home and said X had thrown a tangerine at him and it hit him on the head. I knew X was trouble, so got all concerned, worried he was being bullied and asked what happened next? DS looked at me as though I was stupid and said: Well 'I ate the tangerine of course.'

Glad to hear your bolus wasn't a problem. It only freaked me a bit, as the Onc told me I should 'expect' skin problems, though heck after chemo I feel I can cope with anything.

Good on ds, smee, I like his style!

IME the bolus does focus skin problems on a particular area, but if you are vigilant they clear up very fast. my skin broke down but i got antibiotics the same day, and BC nurse said they'd work fast, which they did. And as you say, after chemo, it doesn't seem like so much because you don't fell sick/constipated/achey/whatever. there's only a patch of icky skin to contend with.

oh - Plan B Cakes !! how was it ?!
The good thing that has come from my diagnosis and treatment is that I met my BCN who really took the time to talk to me about my mental health and paved the way for my seeking help again - and it looks as though I'm on the right tracks
I've also met a lovely new friends through the bcc forum and all the lovely friends on this thread !

Well said, MAS - good friends do come out of it which is terrific. And you are heading down such a positive path with the emotional issues too, which is beyond price.

Plan B was absolutely fab. I did get my ingrown toenail squashed underfoot {old fart emoticon} but other than that it was great. Usually singers sound a bit rough live I find, but he really didn't. And I also usually hate the bits where they do some new material, as i find I like to listen to that carefully and get used to it, but the new stuff last night sounded really, really good. The whole place was absolutely jumping. it was exhilarating. Mind you, I couldn't hear a single word he said when he was talking, so God knows what that was all about. And now I feel about as tired as it is possible to feel [ grin]

well good for you for going and having a fab time - it's years since I went to anything We were hoping the Arcade Fire would do an extra date at the 02 in December but they aren't- we would have come up and spent the night,all 3 of us - ds would have loved it.

What a shame, that would have been a great night!

DD (and I) have a hankering to see Muse, so that may be the next thing...

I'm glad you enjoyed the concert Cakes - sounds great, it's ages since I've been to any kind of rock concert, - Dh did take me to see The Who as one of our early dates - I was deaf for about a week afterwards.

Smee - Jimmy Porter is a big part, and very emotionally draining, - but he is young and has always taken the attitude he can do anything he puts his mind to, - I take no credit for that, it is just how he is. He struggled in school as he has dyslexia, and in his late teens was diagnosed as bipolar, but he's overcome these things pretty well, I'm a very proud mum When he came over this morning, he told me he's been accepted as a volunteer lifeboatman, so he has to go on a training course in Poole in a few months time I think. (I'm slightly scared, but again proud)

I do think DX has been a life changing experience for me, I've made some wonderful new friends (and of course I include all of you),.
I have got over my hospital and doctors phobia (I had to really!).
I think I'm more chilled out - as you say Cakes don't sweat the small stuff any more.
I'm not scared of flying anymore for some reason, in fact quite enjoy it.
I've become very much closer to all my family - they've all been brilliantly supportive.

Obviously I wish it hadn't taken illness to bring these things about, but hey if you can make a conscious choice to find some positives in a fairly miserable experience, I say go for it.

I have also been very moved by the love and support offered by other women, it has been truly amazing (and again I obviously include all of you in this). Women are sometimes given a bad name for bitchiness etc. But I've never found that to be true, I think when the chips are down women will rally round, form supportive communities and comfort each other. Not saying men can't be like this too, but I've come to really treasure my female friendships over the last couple of years.