*TAMOXIFEN* the 5th

[MaryAnnSingleton]

in case we forget and find ourselves at 1000 - here's a fresh new thread !

Sorry about the car cock-up, KK - I hope you can find a way of doing all you need to do - sounds extremely annoying.

Cakes - good luck with the difficult report - I'm sure you'll pull it through the mire.

MAS - thought you were having a melt-down and drawing with sharp pencils in Japanese but not able to type the words fully - later realised all you experts know that shar pei is some kind of dog

RANT ALERT - skip if you are not in the mood. Have had an exhausting day. Had to go to interview at DWP. Was supposed to take an hour but they wanted me to do literacy and numeracy assessment (despite knowing I have degree etc etc). Suppose its because my brain could have been affected. Anyway the test demanded extreme concentration (against guys f'ing and blinding in the next office) and I did not do very well!!! They think I'm level 2. Well this is total crap but might indeed show I've got chemo brain - hope they realise this. I was up against the clock too, as had to get bone scan straight after. So finally got home worn out and shaken by being told my spelling is poor. My spelling is totally excellent but I admit I do a lot of typo's (as you know...) There was only one question I gave up on, involving fence perimeters, pi and pond diameters. Well for heavens sake I'd use a calculator for that!

Rant over - will creep away quietly and make some comforting tea.
At least my friend and I then managed to book our hotel in Pisa after all that. I'm so looking forward to that.

PS does your brain recover after chemo?

Hope Petunia gets better very soon! Give her my love. Lines are ace. As long as they don't muck up.

I hope Petunia is better v soon xxx
double grrr about the car KK- I usually get a courtesy car whenever I take ours in -am sure they must give you one.
SR - oh you poor thing- how frustratingly annoying and horrible - am sure chemo brain is repairable though.
@ the Japanese sharp pencils - !! dog is drawn, but am so tired -I lay on the sofa under my blanket for an hour.

Well, they hope they can get it done tommorow morning,- which would mean it was still just about possible for DH and DD to go up to Sheffield. So we shall see. Someone kindly gave DH a lift home from work as it was absolutely bucketing down.

Sorry about Petunia RWU - that's a real pain, hope it gets sorted, and chemo can be re scheduled soon.

Poor SR - that sounds a very stressful day, chemo brain is very frustrating (sounds as if you didn't have exactly ideal test conditions either.) It does get better, although I don't think my memory will ever be quite what it was (but that could be old age kicking in as well)

Well done for finishing the sharp pencil Shar Pei MAS

Hibernation is sounding very tempting, I quite fancy getting into a cardboard box and being covered in hay for the winter - like my Mum's tortoise.

SR rant totally warranted. Why on earth are they putting you through that?! Tick boxing gone bonkers. I think you could have them for mental cruelty. Hope you're having a better day today. Was the Bone Scan okay? Must be a bit scary even if it's just a routine check. Might have missed you saying, but am guessing that's what it is. When do you get your results. All clear I'm sure, but still it's hard to wait. I haven't a clue if brain recovers after chemo, but mine's definitely absent..

Cakes, is report looking any clearer today? Does sound daunting. In the midst of things like that, I amuse myself by trying to include favourite adjectives or phrases. When I was at University there were a few of us who used to have a stock set of phrases and compete as to how many we could all get into an essay. Not sure why it helps, but somehow it does. How's the back these days? Have you got your op dates through?

rwu, poor Petunia. Are you feeling okay? Must be annoying to have to wait. Where are you up to with the current round? Have lost track of you.

kurri, did you get car sorted. You have to get to the Crucible for Hamlet so you can report back. I do rate John Simm, but he's not my idea of a Danish Prince; can't help but think he looks like he needs a bit of a wash. Imagine what a discerning critic I'd be..

MAS when you said you were struggling with shar pei, am so ignorant I thought it was some thought of exotic exercise or something.

All this talk of hibernation's making me think of us all as tortoises too. Very, very tempting, but sun's shining, so in the spirit of shunting chemo, am off on my bike in a bit. A helmet's as good as a woolly hat, but still haven't mastered how you take one off to put other on when you stop. Find myself shyly scooting round, trying to find a discreet parking place to lock it up. Think I'm becoming a bit too stressed about these things. Am so impressed by you all who wave your baldness to the world.

Hi Smee, well done for getting out on your bike - it good you are feeling a bit better today. Could you put something like a little cotton beanie under your helmet?

We are going up to Sheffield by train, thought it would be easier all round, and DH isn't one of the party as Shakespeare is not really his cup of tea. I think John Simm is a very good actor, have liked him in everything I've seen him in, but have no idea what he'll be like as the Prince, - I will be critical because it's one of my favourite plays - will report back

Whatever the case it will be a fun trip - DS and his flatmate are a funny double act and we have told them we expect to be kept entertained on the journey.

Car is not ready yet, so all somewhat in limbo, DD has packed ready to take her belongings up but won't know if they are going until lunch time.

Hope everyone is feeling OK today,- any news on Petunia RWU?

SR have you recovered from your stressful day, Smee is right, it is ridiculous you had to go through that.

At least you will get there kk, hope it goes well and doesn't cause any more stress!

Sr- I'd have just started crying if I was made to do a test

No news on petunia, I had 4 gallon of blood removed yesterday for a myriad of further tests....... But as yet no-one has called to say anything has been found. It could be down to stress from the neighbours, or the start of a new school year bug. I'm half way through my MVAC regime, have a scan soon to see if the funding will continue or not- good old PCT..... I need to be assessed for cost-effectiveness lol!

RWU - how ghastly to have to be assessed for cost effectiveness. I do admire so much how you cope with all this and still keep all your parenting going at top level. If its any consolation my friend with severe Crohns was individually approved by NICE for her very expensive individual drugs, so if PCT gets shirty you might be able to try something like that?

Smee- I should have expalined about the bone scan but actually I didn't fully understand it myslef. It wasn't a bone scan to check for cancer (had that pre-chmo and nothing nasty found) - it was apparantly a baseline bone density test as Tamoxifen can lead to thinning so I assume they'll monitor this from the baseline. So nothing to worry about at the mo (I think anyway). Thanks for your concern.

Am very impressed by cycling - I tried a few months ago and could scarcely manage a mile and had to leave the bike in a shop 'for a service' and walk home! If you need a little cotton beany I could send you one as seem to have huge pile of hats etc now that I won't be using any more! Will keep one or that I might wear even with hair.

KK - fingers crossed for the journey and hope Hamlet is good. If it is I might venture to see it. I never go to Sheffield even though its not that far from us really. (Ah but its across the Pennines you see)

Horrible windy weather here and family are complaining about my not putting the heating on yet. Definitely feel a tortoise affinity. (But I stil don't like the way they hump your trainers Or is it just our neighbour's tortoise that does this? )

I have e-mailed the DWP lady to tell her I have always scored very highly on high level literacy tests and that circumstances put me off yesterday! Made me feel better anyway.

German friend arriving today for a week so might not be posting much. You're not allowed to do anything exciting while I'm away as my daughter used to say...

Good luck with reports and sharp pencils etc. That essay vocab thing sounds like a form of bingo we play at work - how many snazzy management-speak words will this speaker manage to use today? Then you have a list eg Low-hanging fruit, out of the box, pushing the envelope, paradigm etc . Good fun! I do prefer good plain inspiring Engish from speakers, with some Hamlet quotations of course, or possibly EM Forster, myself.

Now, you see you are all a bad influence because now I want to put all these phrases in - whereas it is specifically part of my brief to avoid all management speak. So now I can't think past flagpoles and blue skies, and boxes....

RWU - soory to hear about bloods, hope they are on the up. I don't know about laughing out loud over the funding - I'm rather more myself.

KK - enjoy Hamlet, I think John Simm will be good!

SR - what is the DWP playing at? Box tickers of the world unite!

ooh,am sure John Simm will be v good. I took myself off to see Daniel Day Lewis being Hamlet at the Nat. theatre -years ago now- before his melt-down.
RWU - am shock at cost effectiveness !!
Another long counselling session today - am not sure how to progress to the next stage -very hard- need to really think. Am starving now.

It actually doesn't bother me, they will only withdraw the funding if there has been no effect, if it's not going to help there's no point in putting my body through the entire course! If I continue to the end of the regime it will cost the PCT 186k- I can fully understand them wanting to check for cost effectiveness

Ps MAS, can you put the cat wig link on here too- I am posting from iPod so would take too long and I don't know how

OK RWU - good points. That sum puts my Crohn's friend into a different perspective.

And indeed no point putting yourself through something if its not effective for you.

Just tried to run up one flight of stairs (thinking how feebel I am for not cycling) and had to give up 3/4 of the way up! Well next week I'll be stronger...

Sorry Cakes!

as requested by RWU
kitty wigs

I like the kitty wigs! The blue one makes that cat look like Beyonce (I may need my glasses changed)

rwu, I admire your pragmatism, though don't think they should burden you with the cost implications. Gah to them, I say.

SR, when I was little I had a tortoise and he was oft found asleep on top of shoes, so now I know why. You have destroyed my innocence.

Glad to hear Bone scan's not about lurking Cancer. I start Tamoxifen soon, so have been reading about osteoporosis. Be interesting to hear what they tell you. Nobody's mentioned another bone scan to me (I had one during diagnosis too). It's on my list of questions to ask.

Cakes, why not pick your own phrases. At college, we had five and had to get them into every essay we wrote; one who managed fewest bought the round. 20 years on and still all try and cram them in.

Best Hamlet I've ever seen, was Kenneth Branagh. Not very good production, with a dippy piano playing Ophelia, but he had the audience in the palm of his hand.

Found a solution to the wooly hat/ bike helmet conundrum - a Buff. It sits under the helmet and kind of stays put when I take it off. Thanks for offer of Beanie though SR, that was very kind. My legs are now wondering why I picked such a windy day to start cycling again...

Phew - DH and DD have just left, car was fixed at 2.30, so they will be very late back tonight, but there really wasn't any other day they could go up this week, its about a 4 hour journey from us, unless you get caught in traffic.

Kitty wigs and

cost-effectiveness does sound 'impersonal' to say the least RWU, but you have a very sensible attitude regarding effectiveness of treatment.

Well done Smee and SR for cycling and stair climbing (3/4 of the way is better than 1/2).

My mother's tortoise doesn't hump because it is a laydee. It lays an egg about once every twenty years then treads on it because it is dim absent minded. It is absolutely ancient.

I am off to pilates tonight - which should be fun.

I'm glad the car is fixed KK. Hope their journey is smooth despite terrible wind up here. My German's friend's flight is delayed by 2 hours.

But I have to tell you I'm very happy as I have just spent the last of my cancer insurance money on a family holiday in Tenerife. Haven't been before but we want some warmth in late October! Have booked a small hotel in Puerto de la Cruz as we don't want a big place. A friend has recommended this town as very nice and away from main tourist areas. Now the weather has turned this is all the more exciting!!

Has anyone been to Tenerife? I gather there are nice mountain walks and ops for water-sports so should keep all 3 of us happy.

The plan is that I return to work at the start of November. Not sure how I'll manage that after all this time...phased though. Will just have to manage as financially necessary!

good for you sr!

Hooray for holidays. Brilliant idea SR. Haven't been to Tenerife, but am sure it'll be lovely.

bloody nora!! i've just re-read my original terminal diagnosis thread- its been a whole year and i'm still alive.... and kicking.... and fighting......

Sorry, it was a sudden tear jerking moment that i had to share

As you were!

A virtual toast and hug to you rwu!!

hooray for RWU !!!!!!!!!!
and excellent holiday plan SR - not been to Tenerife either.
I have just got a speeding ticket (or rather last week,when I was driving some friends and ds) - am a bit and as my licence was virginal before this- only 6 miles over 30 -but still,it's a fair cop

Good on you RWU , lots of hugs, and thank you for sharing the moment xx

Oh ye gods - away for 5 days and I will never catch up with everyone's news.
RWU - good to see you back on form and you keep on fighting and making those good memories. Horrified at your neighbours though - sooner you move the better!
Smee - what were you going to call your party?? I did think of 2 fingers to chemo . Cupcaked, I finished chemo at the end of March and have only just felt like a party in the last month or so. I reckon you need a good few months after treatment. Can't remember who asked about chemo brain (SR I think) but am pleased to say my brain is getting better every week. Body still whacked but brain does usually kick in at work now. Will never do ft though - sticking to part time as have done for many years now.

SR - holiday sounds like a great idea. DH is speaking about a few days in Paris next spring (no DS) and then Florida in October next year. So excited.

My room mate at work is having an awful time just now. Her mum has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and is not doing very well on chemo. it's all very and also, in a very selfish way, it makes me v emotional as it brings back a lot of stuff I would rather forget. i am at myself for being so selfish but it is all a bit raw at the moment.
MAS - hope the mindfulness course goes well for you. It is a lot of work but I found it quite rewarding.
Purplefish - how are things with your mum? has she had her first chemo now?
KK - glad you have your car back. someone pranged the side of mine at the start of the year and i haven't got round to getting it fixed yet - will have to do it now that I am working again.
Off to browse the net now - going to London a week tomorrow - treat for DS. Any suggestions for things to do welcomed.