*TAMOXIFEN* the 5th

[MaryAnnSingleton]

in case we forget and find ourselves at 1000 - here's a fresh new thread !

Farewell to Lenny from me too, though am glad he's gone! Here's a huge round of applause from me SR. What a momentous day!! Am mighty impressed you're driving to Cambridge and here's an even bigger round of applause for the hotel room. Very much deserved.

MAS, your DS sounds very lovely and sensitive. Oh those teenage years of anxt. I remember it all horribly well.

The chemo truck has hit hit me today. Was expecting it, but still am a bit down. Just in time for the weekend too. Yip-di-hip..

hope you don't feel too horrid over the weekend smee - take care

Hello all. Sorry for the long silence but being back at work has really taken a toll on me - also had "alive and kicking party" Sunday past (turned up for work with a hangover on Monday - second time in 25 years!!) party was very emotional - had 50 guests and we ate and drank royally but had to spend a good deal of the next week in bed recovering.

Great to hear that Lenny has done his job and has now departed . Sorry to hear that Smee is feeling a bit rough.

Off to read through the last week and a half of posts.

hey haggis ! party sounds great fun ! hope you can recover this weekend
Am off to meet the tutor for the Mindfulness course which starts at the end of September - she has asked to see some people individually beforehand- am a little nervous.
Have good weekends all.

Haggis - really glad you've had a party. I'd like to do that too, to thank a lot of people and celebrate. Hope you can recover now. Sorry the return to work is tough - I fear I'll find the same. Are you doing full time yet?

Smee- sorry chemo is hitting you hard. Is this the last yet?

Thanks all for saying goodbye to Lenny! I must say he was dear friend who helped a lot, totally de-stressed me re chemo and I think it was one of my best decisions to get him! I was rather amazed not to feel any pain at all when he was removed! Didn't look at first but when I realised I couldn't feel a thing I watched as about a foot more came out. Like a piece of knitting! Easy as unravelling a row

Trip to Cambridge was nice. I met DD's house mates, had supper with her then retired out of (slightly smelly) student house to nice posh hotel! Had lovely quiet evening from about 8, then didn't sleep much due to steroids. I woke at 7am thinking 'o good, she'll be on the plane to Sweden now'. Got a text 20 mins later saying she'd slept in and missed her flight....she's re-booked for tomorrow but feeling v. cross with herself...lesson to be learned there about planning and sleeping and alarm clocks.....am a bit worried she's packing too much in as she has a final exam a week after returning from Sweden and she is 'couch-surfing' round Gothenburg....I've asked her to keep regular hours even if this is not as exciting as being awake all the time.........

Good luck with mindfulness MAS - keep meaning to look if there's a course round her. Sounds VG.

oh dear about dd's missed flight...and sorry that you didn't sleep so well - at least hotel was nice and presumably not smelly
Mindfulness tutor seemed very nice and it wasn't scary-she just talked about the course and what would happen and asked me about ocd/cancer etc and felt that I was in a good place to be doing the course,in terms of my current situation - I feel it's definitely the right time.

Hello everyone, I hope you are all doing ok and having an enjoyable weekend!

Mum starts her first lot of chemo on Tuesday and she is now wobbling about it quite a lot She was ok about losing her hair (she has been told she def will) but is a bit upset about it now. However she has bought a wig! She said the ladies in the shop were wonderful and Dad didn't even notice when she wore it at home!

She is also worrying about how ill she is going to feel after the chemo. I have said that she must rest when she doesn't feel great and that everything else can wait. How did/do you all cope when you are feeling ill? Is there anything which helps?

I did try to go down to see her today but it took me nearly 2 hours to get 25 miles (blooming A303) so I gave up and turned around!

I am so sorry, I don't feel like I am at all supportive to you all and you have been so wonderful with your help and advice to me!

pur[plefish -hello ! and i'm sending lots of good thoughts to your mum - I can;t advise on dealing with chemo as I didn't have it,but I know that the others will have some good advice. Please don't worry about feeling you need to be supportive to everyone on here-you have your mum to think of and we are happy to help and advise where we can. Take care of yourself too

Hi purplefish, I remember coming home after first chemo and lying on sofa under blanket with a sick bucket in anticipation, but gave up at about 9pm and got up to eat. The anti- sickness drugs r so good now that it's not really a problem, & I nevr lost my appetite. Howevr they do come with own S/E, notably headache & constipation so make sure she is pro-active in managing those (Movicol best for latter, lactulose rubbish). Also steroids which kept me awake till 6am so after talkin 2 onc I stopped those after cycle 1, need my sleep! Tiredness is a big issue- tell her expect to lie low for up to a wk after chemo, but may not take so long to get upright again. I was usually 95% there by Fri nite after chemo Tuesday. But everyone's different.

SR big huge yay to end of IVs. I found last one by far the worst (first 4 wer not much problem, 5th worse, 6th rotten, dunno how much was psychological..). Bit late now but my onc told me not allowed to drive for 24 hrs after chemo, not insured...? But Cambridge sounded good, despite missed flight. Like something I wd do (am v heavy sleeper) so sympathies to her.

Haggis, I wd also love to have party but not sure when is good time. How long did u wait after chemo?

Any runners amongst us speaking of weight control? I haven't run since half marathon 4 days b4 finding lump, and still not enough energy, but wd love to get back into it. Realistic or not running on radiotherapy? 6 wks of it stArting on Sept 20.

Nice was just gorgeous. Thoroughly recommend for anyone who is able to get away for short break ( we had 3 nights, other pals there for 2 nights). Sun and sea still way gorgeous, very easy travel, public transport xlnt, wide range of hotels, lots of history & art, ( tho I stuck to fresh air on this occasion), food
gorgeous, all v therapeutic.

Purplefish, one more thing, if they suggest PICC line for your mum, if her veins r not great, do go for it. I have (had!) good veins & it was nevr needed but after the first one, it was always v sore getting the chemo & now my veins r so scarred I can't fully straighten my arm at the elbow. Tennis career over! (or would be if I was left handed and could actually play tennis lol)

PS Smee, hope ur picking up again. One more to go, and look how good SR was with her final one. V impressed!

And MAS, nothing like birdcrap strike to add to a bad day, poor DS! Always hard for them gettin back into swing of it, but they always do, don't they..

ooh cupcaked ! Nice sounds nice

Cupcaked - I am not a runner (shudder) but I'd say def NO running on rads. Or for at least a couple of weeks after, this sounds horrid I know, but the skin can break down, even for a week or two after the treatment has stopped, and I think the extra (ahem) movement might make this more likely. Perhaps ask the BCN but my instinct is to say definitely not.

Purplefish - your Mum may well not feel too bad on chemo, like cupcaked I had no sickness at all, only nausea. Constipation is a big prob, onc gave me something for that as a matter of routine each time, but it would be worth upping the fruit, veg and water quotient as it is still often a bit tricky for 3 or 4 days.

Things that help - pineapple (good for the stomach), ginger (good for nausea), drinking lots of water in the 2 or 3 days before each treatment so she is really well hydrated.

I hope she does OK, she is very lucky to have you supporting her so much. And don't worry about supporting us, you have enough on your plate.

MAS - mindfulness sounds lovely, and I am sure it will be so helpful. How are the puppies going?

I'd say no to running during rads or for 4 weeks after. You need a good bra for running and it would rub and make skin break down or be sore I fear. Some people also are v. tired altho I wasn't too bad.

Chemo tips - I agree with others. There's a lso a brilliant list of tips on the Breast Cancer Care website that I found helpful.

I was actually sick on my 2nd and 3rd chemo's so although the drugs do help with this, one can still be sick.

My PICC line was absolutely brilliant - best decision I ever took. So yes, if veins are poor, tell your mum a PIcc line is wonderful. I did manage for the fist 4 chemo's and all 3 ops, but after that couldn't face any more needles at all.

But whacked now after Cambridge but glad I did it. Glad no-one's ever mentioned about driving - I've been driving myslef to chemo and back for the last 3 months!

Hi all, sorry you are feeling a bit grotty Smee, hope it starts to improve quickly - you are nearly there now

CC - trip to Nice sounds lovely. With regard to running, - I would be careful and play it by ear, I don't run, but I do a lot of swimming, they said I could on Rads but my skin broke down, so I couldn't for a while. Also the tiredness from rads can kick in a little while after you finish, - so just see how you feel.

SR - I hope DD has caught her flight now, hotel sounds good, nice to have a little break even if you didn't manage to sleep very well.

MAS - I'm glad meeting with tutor went well, I'm sure the course will be very useful, - when do you start?

Purplefish - it's very natural for your mum to feel nervous, - I certainly did - it's a step into the unknown, but once she has one under her belt she will have an idea of how it will affect her. Everyone is different. For me the fatigue was the worst, I was very knocked out and spent quite a lot of time in bed, but I was on accelerated chemo which is closer together. I know other people who have coped very well with this aspect. Its all a bit suck it and see

I second the movicol (hospital may advise senna, but for me this was far to drastic a solution). I also had diarrhoea after the steroids finished, - hospital will provide something if this is a problem for your mum. They are generally very good at helping you manage your side effects, the thing is to mention them all, don't think you have to 'put up' with things. She needs to make sure she drinks plenty for the couple of days after chemo to flush everything through.

Very good luck to her - we'll all be holding her hand in spirit

Hello Haggis, nice to see you, sorry work is tiring you out, it's a big step to go back after all your treatment, but I'm sure you will gradually build up your strength. I'm glad your party went well, what a great idea

We went out for lunch with DS and his GF yesterday, which was lovely - she is really becoming one of the family we are very fond of her

Today I start dieting in earnest, I did loads of exercise last week, nearly 2 hours each day, - no change in weight, I am fed up of it(less lunches out perhaps)

DS gave us a bottle of homemade cider, and when DH took off the foil seal, the cork exploded out of it with a loud bang, it hit the ceiling DH squealed like a girl

Love to all.

over the cider! I hope you took that as a good reason to drink it all

Bloody well done on all that exercise KK. I am really trying on the diet and exercise (can't compete with that though). I am also seeing NO results, and am also seriously fed up with it. If I cut anything else out I may as well get my mouth sewn up

SR - a bit about driving to and from chemo! Just as well you didn't know. Well done for taking it on - glad you had a nice stay in the hotel.

Haggis, I wish I'd thought to have a party, what a nice idea.

I'm sitting here trying to get my head around a big report I have to write. I was hoping it would help me to make some real headway tomorrow, but after 4 hours it really isn't happening, so I think I may give up and do some dusting. It really has got THAT bad

exploding cider !! eeek.
Agree with the advice during/after rads- the skin can get very fragile, mine was pretty bad after the end of the treatment (but healed very quickly) I wouldn't have wanted to run or swim- anything that is stingy or rubbing.
Mindfulness first meeting is on 29th -which is a body scan (where you lie down and go through every part of your body- kind of relaxing thing-I did this a bit in hypnotherapy)
Puppies are coming along nicely thanks - am hoping to get the book finished by the week after next

anyone want to summarise the last few weeks since i was last seen around these parts? i just tried reading back through- but it hurt my head too much where is everyone?

i've been making the most of rl recently, spending as much time as poss with the dc's doing some memorable stuff. I lost a dear friend a few weeks ago who had a far better original prognosis than me, sadly she had 'given up', couldn't take anymore, she faded so quickly it was awful .

so we've been everywhere, taking photos of everything, trying to spend one-on-one time with each of the dc's- it has been GREAT!

still not moved.... still no news re water main.... getting REALLY PISSED OFF now!

i'm also having neighbour issues, they consist of me wanting to shoot them, so the solicitor is trying to hurry things along so that he doesn't have to refer us to his criminal law colleague !

hello RWU ! I feel i have seen you about because of facebook - am so glad you've had a good time with dcs in RL - very sorry and sad to hear about your friend though- that must've been a bit of a blow. To sum up- there's ben holidays/work/children going abroad/impressive vegetable growing/Lenny the line has been taken out,painlessly /last chemos done/rads being embarked on soon/dcs back to school....
Take care of yourself -we think of you often x

Hi RWU - lovely to see you, MAS sums things up very well, but you are right it is very easy to lose track maybe we should have a little summary at the end of each week.

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend, that is so sad for you.

It's lovely you have been busy building wonderful memories for your DC, you are a terrific mum. How are all the children at the moment?

Grrr about the house, how frustrating, I hope it gets sorted soon and you can get away from the annoying neighbours. Much love xx

kk- you just brought a tear to my eye! thank you x

Kids are fine, all back at school/ nursery, i get some time to myself in the mornings now.

x

Great summary MAS!

Hi RWU - how very sad about your friend. l the memorable stuff with the dcs sounds terrific, I second what KK said. Bloody neighbours, they can make such a difference to your life can't they? I hope the move sorts itself out soon.

It is so good to see you here again though, we miss your wisdom when you are off having fun.

. I had an 8.45 Nurse's appointment this morning (just some bloods for a research thing I said I'd do). When we got to the Doc's the car (which has been slightly dodgy for a couple of days)gave up the ghost. Luckily there is a garage near the surgery so we left it there and got a taxi home.

It needs a new alternator, which costs £155 before labour. Won't be ready until tomorrow. It's the most inconvenient time, as we have a few trips to make this week (e.g.taking DD's stuff back to Sheffield). I hate cars. I feel like cutting off a big branch and giving it a damn good thrashing Basil Fawlty style

Rant over, as you were.

Hi RWU - lovely to hear from you. I'm also very sad to hear about your friend.

But I'm so glad you are focussing on RL and lovely times with the children - nothing could be more important.

So MAS's summary is fine. Indeed admirable that all our witterings can be summed up so effortlessly . I am persevering through my last week of chemo tablets and today have been signed as ready to return to work on 2 October BUT I have lots of leave to take so willskive recover for a further month before actually trying to get back on thetreadmillwork routine.

I feel worried about weight. Well done to those of you working so hard at exercise and so on. I just can't imagine how I'm going to do it, with working as well, if Tamoxifen makes it so difficult. And my age of course. Although I feel quite young today as I've put on new navy/white striped top with that long flowy style that is pop just now

Knackered tho. Went out yesterday to do our annual ' fruity walk' with DH. This is in a lovely place with good views. We managed to pick a couple of bags of blackberries and LOADS of damsons (for Damson gin!). Couldn't walk as far as the apple area. DH went to get the car as I couldn't finish the walk but now I'll have to spend hourse preparing the gin - its a job I like though. Especially when it comes to decanting it all on Christmas Eve....

Veg finished in garden apart from nice toms which continue to ripen well and give me a weekly crop.

DD is now in Sweden and I hope actually at her course. Sleeping on various people's sofas, so just hope they're all OK. Love to all.

Cars, KK - always happens at the worst possible time. And always so expensive to put right.

Someone drove into the back of DH's car and legged (wheeled?) it without saying anything about a week ago (hard to be sure, we didn't notice the big dent for maybe a day or two.) it is driveable so not nearly as annoying as yours, but still

Well done for even starting a walk SR, finishing remains optional for some time to come

And how wise to take a bit of time off to recuperate. Maybe save a bit so you can take a short week if it all gets a bit much when you first go back?