My Ancestry DNA kit arrives tomorrow...

[Arlanymor]

... I was inspired to buy one because my late uncle was really interested in genealogy and did a lot to track back his family line - this was before DNA tests were commercially available. I have often thought how interesting it would be to pick up where he left off and a random conversation with a BT engineer (!) a couple of weeks ago convinced me to do it. Obviously - and egotistically! - the starting point is me and working out what my initial results tell me. I think something like 80% Welsh, 20% English - but with some Irish chucked in for good measure - just based on knowing where great and great-great grandparents came from. If you've done it, do you have any advice on next steps? I know our family are on Ancestry and I will now have my own log in. But I am very much a novice. If it turns out I am 99% Viking I may have to talk to my parents (!) but truly I am just interested in tracking a trail back through history. I used to work in archaeology, so I've always been very interested in this area.

Tbh i do know a lot of people who are a bit wild!

DH's family tree is a lot more knotted than mine - I don't think Ancestry's family tree software copes. 😆
His grandad and grandma had several children then his grandad ran off with his wife's sister and had half a dozen more...

@Aurora2023 What I wasn’t prepared for was someone messaging and demanding to know who the HELL I was with my high percentage match to them. I was kind of hey - I’m just living my life here mate - what’s the issue?

This is part of what I was referring to - you approach this thinking you are in control of the journey, so to speak, like a tap you can turn off and on. But it's not like that sometimes.

I have had other adoptees contacting me for help with THEIR searches too.

I've had mine done, and yes I've listened to the gift, now if I was the child of a fertility doctor who has fathered half the county back in the day when that sort of thing happened, I honestly think I'd be really glad to know because I could make sure that I didn't reproduce with a half sibling, or my children didn't marry an aunt or uncle or whatever
I didn't find out anything mind-blowing, apart from I still don't wholly know where that percentage of my Dad's DNA that's Irish came from
It's been accurate in the places my forebears came from, according to the paper records I live in hope that some mysteries might be solved at some stage in the future
I've been in contact with more distant cousins and we've helped each other.
It won't tell you that great grandma waddled down the aisle 8 months pregnant, and that her sister had a while strong if illegitimate babies, it doesn't need to. The paperwork tells you that. Old newspapers are much less restrained than modern ones describing things our forebears for up to, why great great aunt Annie was buried with those people... you can find those without submitting a single glob of spit.
What you do need to watch out for OP is taking trees as gospel. Check everything out. I've come across ones that are shockingly inaccurate, and some I've worked with and they have seen the evidence and changed them, others don't, so end up with people dying and then turning up on a subsequent census, being remembered by my Dad who was born 7 years after the supposed death, then dying 10 years after the census, and are there on a tombstone. So always check all the records. Just because they got 2 people with the same name mixed up.
So find the actual records, connect with people who remember their relatives and hope you enjoy the story

@FlyingCatGirl I think you may have misunderstood the point I was making.

I’m fully aware ancestry DNA results are based on statistical comparisons to reference populations and are not literal “birthplace detectors.” I never claimed a DNA test could accurately tell someone they were born in Hull, Lagos or anywhere else. Your example actually supports that point.

My concern was never that ancestry companies can pinpoint where somebody was born. The concern is about what happens when large amounts of genetic and personal ancestry data are collected, stored and then exposed through breaches or shared more widely than people expected.

And while you’re correct that the 23andMe breach primarily involved account access and downloaded ancestry reports rather than thieves physically stealing saliva tubes from a lab, those reports still contained genetic ancestry information, family matches and ethnic background data linked to identifiable accounts. For many people, that is sensitive information.

You seem to think the only risk worth discussing is whether DNA can literally prove nationality. That’s a very narrow interpretation of the privacy concerns people have about these databases.

The broader issue is that genetic data is uniquely personal, permanent and connected to relatives as well as the individual user. Once it’s uploaded and linked to identity information, people lose a degree of control over it. That’s the part some of us are uncomfortable with.

And respectfully, there’s no need for the insults. People can disagree about the risks without calling each other liars or infants.

See now your pretending to be calm and rational! Yes i found your snide comment about your workplace having your DNA to be infantile and annoying but we are going around in circles, the DNA cannot be used for much, even if I got my ancestry account hacked, it's just percentages! Even if an Image of DNA iwas hacked its worthless to anyone but a DNA scientist and even then they won't know who the owner is.

Let's not forget you were claiming that racist parties could use DNA to deport people and I've proved that they can't. There's nothing to fear about using a DNA site, nothing more than putting your details into any site.

There are plenty of ways people's DNA can be used when laws change based on a parties definition of right from wrong. As an example sex outside of marriage is unlawful in some countries, people can see from the DNA that a father is not a person's spouse. It is easy to see how this information can be used against people in various different ways in the wrong hands. A government wouldn't need to hack the company for the information, they could request it if there was suspicious of a crime.

But the thing is you may think there aren’t any deep dark secrets ….. then one day you start receiving emails regarding dna matches/deep dark secrets.

The possibility of it happening isn’t something you should dismiss - I speak from experience l.

I haven't shared my email address, so no one can do that. I keep my details very private. I'm sorry that you speak from experience and, look, I am perfectly willing to admit that I don't know every single thing about my family, anything that might be murky will be well in the past, so very unaffecting. I told my parents about it, neither of them were remotely phased. As I said, if the unexpected happens then I am adult enough to deal with it. But it will be mundane and undramatic.

Thanks very much - hope my results don't show I am related to you.

Just for you to be aware, there is a messaging function on Ancestry (and the other DNA sites.) This is how they would do it, not via your email. You can block people, if they're a nuisance.

Yes I did that to continue the family tree my lovely grandfather started before he died.
The main thing I found out was that my father isnt my father.
He didnt know this either.
Now my entire happily family has been destroyed.
I wish Id never sent for a test.

I am loving OP's attitude.

FWIW, I discovered a big secret. I got my DNA & my grand's DNA on ftdna.com like 15 years ago. No secrets found. All fine. Gran died in 2017.

Then we got my adult DD's DNA on Ancestry.com in 2019 and... found a new close relative. Turns out my grandmother had a baby boy she gave up for adoption between marriages. New uncle put his account in his actual name & It took me 45 minutes to figure out most of his life story. I tracked down his stepdaughter on Facebook. She was initially friendly but then turns out he's emphatic in never wanting to know any of his 6 half siblings or other blood kin and he had no questions for me, too. Which is sad for us but we respect his wishes. Yes I literally have no idea why he keeps his account on Ancestry. Finding out about his existence explains some other things my Grandmother did.

Although The Gift podcast has been promoted at times as "OMG you don't know what you're getting into" : I've not yet heard an episode where anyone regretted getting their DNA tested. Even when people discover difficult truths, I perceive that ultimately they prefer to know than not know. With the difficult truths they also often find lots of new relatives who they like knowing, too.

That’s helpful to know, thank you. I don’t have a subscription. But even so, good to know. Lots of weirdos on lots of others websites with access to direct message too eh?!

Thanks for this. It’s just so patronising - messages that just escalate and are wrapped up in fake concern. And some downright rude, and I’m just supposed to kowtow? I don’t think so. It made me laugh when someone said that it was weird that I didn’t know anyone who had found out a dark secret. I know about 10 close friends who have done it - and it was all very boring and nothingness! It sounds like you handled your situation with maturity and grace, as I will do if anything is unearthed. People are allowed to find out stuff about their identity without others being superior and pretty much demanding that you listen to some random media. I started a thread about being excited about something and there was just a massive pile on as if I was a mindless loon. I think there are mindless loons on this thread, but I am decidedly not one of them! Thanks again.

If your results are added to Ancestry.com for eg then you’ll automatically be informed of DNA matches and so will the person you’re matched with. I’m not sure that there’s an opt out facility but if there is I didn’t use it.

The story behind the multiple matches that resulted in me going from being one of four children to one of 9 is very unusual but I’m very happy with my half siblings (all born to different mothers over the years) and my life is all the richer for them (and their families) being in it. I love them.

I didn’t realise you’d also mentioned the facility on Ancestry and you’re correct, it’s not actually by email but in my mind it was because I received emails saying you have a match on ancestry.

You are being next level absurd now! DNA doesn't tell you who is married to who!!??? Not to mention that a lot of people are unmarred these days and there won't be any marriage records! You can't know who I've been in an unmarried relationship with for the last 23 years just by looking at my DNA! You don't even know who my parents are from looking at the DNA! Go back and read my posts! I'm Hull born and bred as were my parents, 3 grandparents, several great grandparents and yet I have no East Yorkshire DNA! You can find a familial match if there is one on record or you can be matched to a crime if you've left your own DNA at the scene and that's it! There's no written text that tells you dates, times, who is who, who married who, who was born where and when! You do not get that kind of information just from a DNA sample. It does not come with a family tree or any written detail!

The government do not carry out police work and do not ask to see DNA citing suspicion of a crime! It's not going to happen! You are being deluded! DNA results don't tell you who you've had sex with in the past or when you've had sex! It doesn't give relationship details, it doesn't tell anyone where you were born, it has fairly little value other than for linking someone to a crime or such as on ancestry where you can be linked to another participant if you share any DNA! That's literally it! If you were some dastardly government worker and you got a handed a DNA sample, it would be worthless to you, it's a lot of lines and marks that would be totally meaningless to you!
Also do remember that the police haven't got everybody's DNA either! Probably most of us have never given DNA to the police. Nothing can be done with DNA other than the two things I've already mentioned.

I just want to clarify something because I think a few people have a misconception that if you do something Ancestry, you get given this encyclopaedia of who's who in your family and all the relationships and birthplaces! You don't! You will only get a list of percentages of DNA you have from different regions. You will get your list of matches but that is it! You don't get a family tree unless you put the work in to build it, you don't have to communicate with matches if you don't want to. You won't be bombarded by dark secrets or information unless you go looking for it!

@LittleMerrymaidyou can turn off the matches function.

I was replying to a post that stated giving your DNA to ancestry is completely safe. Ancestry hold your DNA and personal information. Marriage records can be found elsewhere. In my previous role I requested personal data for the prevention of fraud and crime from companies on a daily basis. Of course there is a risk to handing out your DNA that is permanently linked to you. This is even stated on the ancestry website
'Our stance has been clear and consistent for years: Ancestry does not allow our services to be used for law enforcement investigations unless we are legally required to comply.'

Yes law enforcement! To link someone in the event of a crime - such as the famous case of the little headless child pulled out of the Thames, they found his family by taking DNA samples from potential parents. That's crime, there's nothing else you can do with it! Bear in mind that my actually image if my DNA strands is not in the public domain, it's percentages and regions only.

Yes, law enforcement. As I was discussing in my previous post, sex outside of marriage is illegal in some countries. DNA showing you had a child with someone other than your spouse proves that. We don't need to go down a rabbit hole, I was simply pointing out how your permanent DNA can become a risk to you as ideas and laws change. Goverments routinely do data matching exercises to prevent fraud, it would be fairly simple to add DNA databases and marriage records into their checks.

OP - this thread clearly escalated and upset you.

But people uncovering family secrets with these tests - with good and not so good consequences- is most definitely 'a thing' and the DNA companies have been challenged on how they present these risks to their clients.

This is a fact, there's lots out there on it, although it's entirely possible that the whole discussion has passed you by if the people that you know haven't experienced it and interest in doing this hasn't been on your radar screen until recently.

When I was looking for support when I first in contact with my birth family, I binged a bunch of the thousands of podcasts out there on the topic of NPEs (non-parent expected). Pretty much every one starts with the person saying they'd wished someone had warned them.

I think, however they worded it, many of the posters here were kind of posting from that vantage point?

This.

Laws change. Governments change. Records from.multiple sources can be crossreferenced. Authoritarian governments have been known to go to extremes. Ethnic purity laws don't care about a birth certificate. The risks are low, but dismissing them as totally impossible shows a lack of knowledge of history.