I've actually cried all over a computer. That I think I broke.

[CarpeVinum]

Or maybe windows 8 hates me.

I need a fecking drink.

I'm 46 years old, allegedly not technologically incompetant (I used to repartition and reinstall and everything when I had windows XP, just haven't needed to do it for years) and I've cried all over this virtually new computer and I think I am about to cry again. Like actually plopping tears and everything.

If I can't fix it my son gets two crap Christmasses in a row. ( Mil was dying in hospital last year, so not so grave, but his most wanted xams pressies are totally redundant without his 'puter.

Due to a FURBAR during a.... "go back to factory settings you laggy git faced computer" session ....things went horribly wrong. Mainly cos the computer was speaking in Italian and I was tired. Probably.

So I had amazon UK rush a proper full copy of windows 8.1 in Bloody ENGLISH to Italy. DHL finally found me after a tense 48 hours of increasingly heated phone calls with me yelling "how can I always be "customer out" if you have kept me trapped in the house for TWO DAYS!"

I got into BIOS (whatever that is) I changed the boot thingie to CD-rom drive as first choice (gingerly, never been in BIOS before) All went swimmingly, but then it hung for hours and It couldn't finish the last bit of a clean install.

So a youtubber siad delete partitions.

So I did. Well some of them. 2. ACER and USER

And then I clicked next and the fecking computer complained something was missing so it couldn't run the cd-rom drive. Or something like that.

I have spent 113 euros. And all I have managed to do is kill the computer more.

And christmas is ruined cos the computer shop is not taking any repairs in till he comes back in the New Year.

Dos anybody have any ideas what has gone so horribly wrong and how to put it right ?

And if you don't. Can you please start sticking pins in an effigy of the Windows 8 wholly annoyingly displeasuring start screen of pissingoffness.

Or pass a hanky.

Is this peri menopause making me an emotional wreck due to poxy software ?

Wine. I wish I had wine.

When you are totally up and running,download those ace drivers,either burn them to a disc or flash drive and lock it away somewhere safe.Glad to here your almost sorted.

Oh, I love computer dude.

Bollocks to Wise Men and angels, we all need Christmas visitors in the form of Computer Dudes and Hot Lawyers.

I give you... the Mumsnet Christmas MIRICLE!

but this tme cos christmas is saved!

I love all you so so much.

You kept me usefully occipied and bantered me happier in my Drakest Hour.

Plus I know where the DOS bit is now...but will not play in there EVEH!

Merry Christmas !!!!

We re going to have one i the Carpe house !

Excellent news.
His smile says it all.

You need to relax now, the past 24 hrs will have exhausted you.

Brilliant,did he say what was wrong?Can I just say regarding your dick/disc thing,its a good job this thread wasnt 15 years ago otherwise you would have put floppy dick

Sassy, years ago a colleague IMd me saying her husband had bought home an infected floppy dick and would I be able to help sort out the damage it had caused...

HURRAY! Great news :)

Floppy dick

I am never going to live that down.

Right

1. Cook frozen pizza
2. go download and flashdrive entire contents of ACER ASPIRE (to never go through this again).. driver section for this model.
3. Superglue flashdrive to cieling so it doesn't get lost
4. create non admin user for squirt
5. install Minecraft
6. Enjoy hellish experience of installing pixlemon mod for Minecraft, aided by BARSTARD youtubers, cos I can't remember how I did it last time.
7. Resist whine to install Steam

He thinks it might have been Dota2 Meets Windows 8, or Steam meets Windows 8 ... or some other app that carries a lot of bloat that upset the oh so sensitive Windows 8.

He say the reason I got the error thung was cos once you start deleting paritions, you can't just stop and leave the ones that are now confused (deepl technical explanation of stuff he said in Italian that went over my head mostly) but I still don't understand which ones you mustn't delete. Anyway He has made one fresh clean brand new partition and then the disc installed fine. He install a driver from ACER for the video card for the monitor so now DS has late MIL's massive flatscreen TV as a monitor, and his cup runnith over.

ComputerDude after some bullying accepted 50 euros and Emergecny English Service for the rest of his life. Plus his sisters (both doctors) want Engish lessons, so 2 new clients to boot.

ComputerDude said don't download Steam immediatly, in case it all goes boink again... but to do it after Xmas. If it does go boink he has a spare legal copy of windows 7 I can have, and he will install it for me. Then we can wait till windows 8.474658383 comes out as a version that isn't so nurotic, and he'll reinstall my windows 8 and just add the free update.

DS can now do his homework. But I sharn't spoil the moment and remind him he forgot to backup an enormous book report, that will have to be done again.

I'm a limp rag. Relised that practically all I've eaten in the last couple of days is bar snacks last night and two cornettos today. The Christmas Stress Diet +

I wish to lie down. But he is desperate for minecraft...and having slogged this far.... one.last.push....

I love that boy. He is going to have a really happy christmas and I am so so glad, cos he really does deserve one.

Cool - that is amazing news!!!

And so, shock, horror - it was a bad installation disk? Why didn't I think of that...?? ;)

Merry Christmas!

I think you should just step away from the 'puter.... And stay away

Hurrah for the christmas miricle of the computer laid in a manger in a field in Italy!

This thread should be set to jingly, tinkly music and played every year.

That is a bloody lovely story and really funny . I am so pleased for you and CarpeBoy.

You know what. I am going to screenshot this entire thread.

And everytime I feel down and alone in a field far away from home..I am going to read it.

And everytime some newspaper calls us nest of vipers, I am going to fill their comments with all the screenshots till they scream for mercy and apologise.

You lot have skillz. Techie, calming, cheering uppy, tears to giggles, scary DOS mountain climbing hand holding, rooting on and badically bloody loveliness. My son gets cool stuff for chritmas. I got something better, milk of human kindness in world's largest tetrapack. With free straw. And dicks.

You lot have no idea how much this thread has helped. I was so so distressed. And you made it all better. The fixed computer is cherry on cake.

Thank you for your thread. I read your OP for my dh. I read it with a very serious voice, like a Shakespeare actor, like I was Cpt Jean Luc Picard . Like I was Jeremy Clarkson reading a novel.

My dh did not laugh as I intended, but it put both my children to sleep, and I was grateful.

I've been lurking, praying and a cheering alternately OP and all I can say is that I'm SO pleased for you all. I hope you have a lovely Christmas, functioning puter and all. You deserve it after your tough year.

And a tip from a mother of a self-confessed geek who started off his road to geekdom minecrafting: get him so into computing that by the time this computer is obsolete (5 years in today's money), he can build the darned replacement himself while you make yourself a lovely Italian coffee oh no I'm not jealous with your feet up in front of the fire.

WooHoo

Celebrate.

Can we share that vat of gin now????

Minecraft in progress.

oh god yes please to alcohol. I am shattered.

My first Christmas emoticon, cos now it's real

That monitor is huge,what size is it?Took me ages to get used to a 21 inch but that one is massive.

So glad you are sorted now,sorry we couldnt get it sorted earlier but it is difficult when you are at the other end of a screen and are reluctant to advise somebody to do something that might mess things up more,you have made me laugh,I will always think of you when I see floppy disc mentioned
Wishing you and your family a very happy Christmas(is he still getting the ipad mini,)

I can't install the pixlemon mod tonight, it involves folders and zipped files staying zipped and deleting stuff in a folder first.

Just too tired to feel confident that I won't cause ChristmasComputerCockup 2.0

It's bedtime soon anyway.

He is in a prison. Mining. Happy as Larry. That'll have to do.

I hope he grows up to be the computer tecchy progammer kind of peep he wants to be. Then I'll never have to worry about technology in my dotage. In fact I may break my supersonic hover tablet in 2030 .... just so he has to come and see me

Any I will reminice

"you lot don't know you're born, I remember the Christmas of 2013, me and mumsnet were struggling to fixed what we called back then..a desktop, all for you it was, all for you...do you call ? do you write ? do you send me thougt messages via you personal ear implant ?.."

Hag on I have been instructed to google "how to see the durability of pickaxe" ... have been promoted to Minecrafter secrectary.

When all I want is a bloody drink

Well done! He looks so happy. Hope you both have a wonderful Christmas.

Well done and have a very merry Christmas! You certainly deserve it

Fantastic. I have followed this thread in awestruck horror from the start. I can't believe how much I shared your pain :) Did you get the ipad mini as well?

No iPad mini. I couldn't leave the house due to impending ComputerDude return....and the fan belt falling of the car. In bits. And then MonitorGate happened and delayed things beyond worth even trying to get out the house.

I am going to Milan tommorow though. I will peruse a few bits, but will try not to "twitch".

The main "computer dependant" pressies will be useable, so there is no need for "emergency presents" now.

I may end up wandering around aimlessly, patting the arm of any randommwoman who looks like she is in omgitsallgonehorriblywringemergencypressie buying mode.

Must buy a facepack. I am a bit haggard looking.

Or a bottle of wine.

So I don 't care I am so haggard looking.

Mainly I'll save my money for some of the backup solutions mentioned upthread. Cos I just can't face going though this ever again. As lovely as you all are, I'm not sure you'd forgive a repeat performance. And I can't say I blame you.

I hope the mumsnetter let down by Dell got her son's computer in time. It would make my day to hear she is out the other side too.