Year 12 - 2024/25 - Support, Discussion and Looking After Each Other

[BlackBean2023]

A survival thread for Y12 parents (24/25) now that GCSEs are over and our young people move onto KS5

I took DD out in my car for her first practice driving session yesterday, after her instructor said she was ready to go out without dual-control. I may have a few new grey hairs as a result! But she did really well, and progressed loads in 2 hours.

@Tebheag that is tough if you have lost your instructor. There is such a backlog around us that finding an instructor is a major challenge. I asked around for recommendations and approached 3 - of whom one never replied, another said she’d get back to me in a few months and never did, and the only one who didn’t flake out on me put DD on a 9-month waiting list. Lucky we started looking early! But she is lovely and DD really enjoys her lessons, so she was worth the wait. I hope you find someone who’s a great fit too.

This talk of predicted grades is confusing!

We’re in Wales where the number system hasn’t been introduced. I assumed that in England they used numbers for GCSEs and A levels but it seems I got that wrong! Anyone know why they’re different?

@JessyCarr was a few months ago back in the summer that we got in touch and instructor said November was OK. Just annoyed as he has wasted our time!

@Muchtoomuchtodo The number grades only apply to GCSEs, where grade inflation had been such that the alternative would have been to keep adding more stars to the A in order to separate out the top performers. With a number system starting at 1 for the lowest grade, you can if necessary just add further numbers in due course (grades 10, 11 etc) to distinguish at the top level.

A levels have also been subject to grade inflation but not so dramatically, with the A* being added later than it was for GCSE. I suppose there may be a move to change this system in the future, but with the most competitive university courses (Oxbridge, medicine etc) using interviews and/or aptitude tests to distinguish between the most able applicants, the issue may not be so urgent.

Obviously there’s a Curriculum and Assessment Review on foot now, so who know what will come out of that. It won’t affect our sixth-formers, but will no doubt have consequences for those of us with younger DC coming through.

@Tebheag That is annoying, especially that he is ghosting you. But (devil’s advocate!) it may be through circumstances such as current pupils unexpectedly failing or postponing tests and needing to continue with him. Instructors need people to pass (both theory and practical) tests in order to make space for a new pupil, and I guess with the best will in the world it won’t always happen.

DD’s instructor told us that the best time of year to get a lesson slot is September, when a lot of young people disappear off to university whether they’ve passed or not! I hope you find someone good very soon.

@JessyCarr thanks for that.

Wouldn’t the answer to have been to address the grade inflation rather than introducing a new system that more and more grades can be added to?

My A’s achieved in 1995 now look like a far lesser achievement since A* and now 9 have been introduced and I don’t believe fir a minute that there has been a significant rise in the proportion of kids achieving very top marks in their exams.

Forgive me if I’ve missed something obvious, it just seems a really odd thing to do in the first place, and even more so for some key exams and not others (to keep things comparable).

@Muchtoomuchtodo To be fair there has also been reform in England on both the exam content and the way it is assessed, which has had the effect of countering grade inflation. This graph is rather dated now but you will see what I mean.

NB It also shows I was wrong to say grade inflation was slower at A Level than GCSE - apologies for that.

Anyway I know what you mean - my AAAA at A Level in 1986 stood out even among my Oxford contemporaries, but that wouldn’t be the case in today’s context. Four of my seven godchildren have at least 3 A stars. I am not sure that matters too much though. The chances of me going up for a job against someone from the A* generation are pretty much non-existent!

Yikes that sounds cringeworthy. Please ignore the bit about me!

dd has started to panic that everyone else is going to uni open days.

She thinks she won't want ot go next year as too busy with exams, and wants to have some idea what she is heading towards and needs for grades.

She wants to read Chemistry, with the view to eventually teaching. (which I don't know if she will manage, certainly not full time, but she would be good at it)

Does anyone know anythign about chemistry courses?

@steppemum Look for courses accredited by the Royal Society of Chemistry. It’s a subject which has suffered from declining applications over recent years, so you may find that even courses at highly-ranked universities don’t demand the grades you might expect. I looked randomly at Warwick’s accredited course - its standard offer is AAB. Grade requirements also get softer at Clearing time - see this old thread which says Bath’s course was in Clearing in 2022 at BBB:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/higher_education/4778014-insurance-choice-imperial-vs-ucl-vs-bath

thank you thats helpful

DS has made the decision to drop Physics A level, bringing him down to 3. Which I think is a good move but it's pretty significant as engineering is now off the table. He is now doing maths, further maths and economics. When asked what he wants to do he says he wants to be a millionaire!

But I do think that if physics doesn't float your boat then it's unlikely you'll want to do engineering.

Hope everyone else is doing well and are happy in their subjects!

(No driving lessons here, not until the summer - even then I'm not sure he'll bother straight away, we don't have a car in any event!)

DS has made the decision to drop Physics A level, bringing him down to 3. Which I think is a good move but it's pretty significant as engineering is now off the table. He is now doing maths, further maths and economics. When asked what he wants to do he says he wants to be a millionaire!

With those remaining subjects, biomedical engineering is still on the table at some universities (e.g. Reading, Sheffield) and is arguably the type of engineering most likely to make him a millionaire! (AI/medical devices). It's possible other types of engineering are still open to him (maths seems to be more sought after than physics) but I take your point that if you don't enjoy physics, you probably won't enjoy engineering!

When asked what he wants to do he says he wants to be a millionaire!

Same here 🤦‍♀️

Stockbroker? @Newlittlerescue

Hope everyone's DC are doing well and settling into A Level life.

DS has finally had some tests and done well (which has bolstered his confidence a bit). He also won the English prize at his old school for 2023/24 and we went to the awards ceremony last week. The HoD said some very complimentary things about him. He is really chuffed about this and very nearly cracked his face and broke into a smile.

In all other ways his extraordinary laziness and self absorption is driving me and his dad insane. Common courtesy and thinking about anything other than himself are anathemas to him at the moment. I keep telling myself that he is 16 and all teenagers are like this to a greater or lesser extent but my patience is wearing thin. An example - I got up at 6.30am on Saturday to take him to a tennis coaching course about 100 miles away. He slept in the car and when we arrived he just got out of the car and walked off; no "thanks for the lift mum" or even "goodbye"😡 I was tempted not to bother going to pick him up again later!

@Waspi congrats to you DS getting an English award. Good to hear his tests are going well. Oh dear about not saying bye or thank you hope he did when you picked him up.

Driving instructor got in touch taking DS on first lesson next week. Hopefully goes well he does not charge for 1st lesson just wants to check they get on OK.
DS has some more tests this week so been busy studying.

We had an open and frank conversation when I picked him up @Tebheag - well, open and frank from my side anyway

Good luck to your son for his tests and for his first driving lesson. Exciting times!

@Waspi thank you he has theory booked for February hoping to be able too book a driving test for end of summer.
I have started sending must things to DS by WhatsApp so I have proof I told him as keeps saying I never told him teenagers!!
Hooe all going well with everyone else.

1st driving lesson was good, and I've taken her out twice over the weekend, just up and down a long empty road learning to stop start and change gear.
Pretty impressed with her, I thought she might be panicking but she is really calm and focussed.

I think I'll start sending everything to DS via Whatsapp so that he can't refute what I said @Tebheag - that's a great idea. Are all teenagers naturally good at gaslighting?!

DS has come home and said that he's been chosen to show prospective parents and students around the school at tomorrow's sixth form open morning. Heaven help the group who have the misfortune to get mono-syllabic Lurch DS!

Sounds like your daughter is taking to driving really well @steppemum . You are brave to get in a car with a learner though. I went out with my sister once when she was learning about 25 years ago, and I still have nightmares about the experience 😂

Oh crap.
More friendship stuff.
I honestly don't know what to do.
Dd and ex friend both autistic, both use the SEN quiet space. They are very much NOT friends and dd feels very uncomfortbale in her presence.
It has blown up in small ways a couple of times and been managed,
It has blown up this week, Dd then got really upset, as she has worked hard to stick to the rules they put in place. This is the first time sixth form college has seen her drop her mask and be distressed. Normally she appears to cope well. She was in a real state, I ended up having to go and get her. She had a couple of distressed conversations with different members of staff.

Long phone call on Monday, thought it was sorted.
Dd came home in tears again today as member of staff has spoken to her and said things like she has to 'rise above'. Basically, she has to make all the adjustments, so that they can both work together.
On the one hand it is so petty. On the other hand friendships are a real issue for dd, she has worked really hard to build new friends, she has worked really hard to not let this ex-friend be an issue, and now she feels as if college don't get it.

She's tired from trying to hold it together with staff. She really tearful and saying that she can't cope with the drama and wants to drop out all together.
AAAHHH
sorry for the long vent.

@steppemum It is coming to the end of a very long term and the weather doesn't help either. No solutions but I know where you are coming from. With DD we say everyone is on her course (a level 2 following on from a level 1) for a reason - loads of students with various SEN - and sometimes those SN clash with each other.

@Waspi my son picks and chooses when it's in his favour.
@steppemum really hope it improves soon. Girls are a nightmare my DD has spent way too many afternoons upset thanks to so called friends.
DS starting to struggle with leaving early and not home till it's pitch black.

Oh that sounds awful @steppemum. Is there any alternative quiet space (library, wellbeing room) that she can escape to if need be?

college have apparently suggested that they find an alternative space.
dd's problem is that her friends are in the Quiet Room. They sit together working on homework between lessons.
But her friendship group and the other girls overlap (which is why the problem keeps coming up)
If dd goes to another space, she leaves her friends behind.
And, daft as it sounds, the Quiet Room has a carpet and a low table with bean bags. I have rarely seen dd sit at a desk to work, she is really comfortable on the floor.

In order to gte her in to college today (full day of lessons) I had to email her maths teacher, and go and pick her up and lunch, then drop her back to college in time for pm lessons. It is a 25 minute drive. I can only do that on Friday, and not every Friday.