Year 12 - 2024/25 - Support, Discussion and Looking After Each Other

[BlackBean2023]

A survival thread for Y12 parents (24/25) now that GCSEs are over and our young people move onto KS5

I hope a decent solution is found @steppemum, that is really miserable.
We had first parents' evening this week. It was on Teams and I couldn't go as I was in meetings at work, still feeling guilty. DH attended so no reason to feel guilty but it's the first parents' evening that I have missed. DD was on a school trip so also not there and no meeting for that subject either yet as teachers on coach with them all. However for the other two subjects she's made the leap to A level well and is working hard so am very happy with that.
About to hit a couple of theatre production weeks which she is involved with so lots of ferrying to or from school at odd times.

All good here, both enjoying it, keeping up with the work (and getting great grades). They are applying to every social mobility scheme going to give them the best chance to get into uni. We’re a low income family in one of the UK’s most deprived post codes and there is no way I’ll be able to support them both. I find it a bit daunting and I worry about how they will manage.

@Curlyshabtree do they know what they want to study? Does that have a bearing on the schemes that they can apply to?

DS wants to do law and DD wants to do medicine. They are both on track to get the required grades. Hoping DD will choose to do medicine here so she can live at home.
Some of the schemes are really good and I’m pleased that they’ve thrown themselves into researching them.

They sound very focused. A friend's DC is at an Oxbridge college and they researched and applied to a wealthy one on the grounds that there would be more chance of financial support there.

Open days aren’t until the summer are they ? (Panic!)

DD has Oxford St Andrews and kcl
on her shortlist. St Andrews will be pricey for an open day but I think we have to go. And I had vetoed London unis due to the cost but she is adamant she loves the course, and we would be eligible for their affordable housing scheme so that would help. I’ve made it clear she would definitely have to work and her current co has a branch opening in London so she’s been told she could transfer there so that’s workable financially now I think.

I earn a few 100 below the means tested income for various bursaries & one of the maintenance levels so need to make sure my income doesn’t rise - the maintenance loan is going up 3.1 percent in April and my income certainly won’t so should be ok. It’s the first time I’ll (selfishly) ever vote to accept the standard below inflation rise at work. Strange times.

DD is absolutely loving college and doing exceptionally well. She’s also gaining so much confidence from working. It’s lovely to see her flourish especially as she had a pretty tough childhood due to DV and the instability that caused. I’m so proud of us both !

Wow @Countrylife2002 you deserve to be proud. So sorry to hear what you and DC have been through.

There’s no hurry re open days - they tend to happen in the autumn and the summer, and lots of 6th forms don’t want the Y12s to go too early before they’ve got an idea of projected grades. DD has visited one university already, but she is particularly focused on a niche subject area and there’s no real mystery about where she will be applying to.

We are OK but DD is having a social wobble. It’s a recurring feature of her school life since Y7 - she always feels unpopular or socially overlooked, but it’s hard to work out whether that’s really the case or whether she’s hypersensitive to situations which wouldn’t bother others. Her peers always seem to like her, so I don’t think it’s a case of her offending people or whatever, but she has a persistent feeling of being a bit socially isolated, a bit of an outsider. She has a recent diagnosis of ADHD which may be relevant. Do others recognise this as part of the ADHD landscape?

JessyCarr soryr to hear your dd is having a wobble. Yes rejection sensitivity is definietly part of the ADHD landscape!

We've just had DD's termly report card. Her effort grades are great which is the main thing so we're proud of her for that. But I have a nagging curiosity about actual grades too. She's shown as having 'working at' grades. Will those be likely to be higher by the end of the course (assume so, her sibling's were) and if so what's the likely addition? Can't go by sibling's experience as there were complicating factors. Don't feel I can ask school at this point as we've just had parents' evening which I couldn't attend due to my job and DH didn't ask...

Personally I don’t think “working at” is a useful description for grades for someone in year 12. I think the grading scale should be the same grading scale for their relevant final exams (ie A* to U if they are doing A-levels).

I think this is much more useful to everyone.

I agree @Pythag . Very difficult to work out from these what she should be aiming for in exams.

Hi,

I've been quietly reading your updates. @steppemum and @JessyCarr the social side of 6th form can be so tough. Just when you think they are settling something can upset them again!

DD has been prickly for the past couple of weeks, I know she is tired, wants to work at her p/t job as she loves the team but is getting tired balancing it with school too. One day she loves chem, then hates it, now loves bio, I just smile and nod when she comes home ranting about some test or other 😁.

Spent most of the day with DD on a zoom conference on getting into dentistry school, which although she had a wobble about doing it (too tired, cba etc) was very informative and reassured her that she can still do it if she wants to. I think she'd had pressure from classmates all wanting to do medicine who have been doing work experience and volunteering for years making her feel inadequate already!

I feel 6th form is going to be even more stressful than GCSEs already! The mention of UCAT is making both me and DD feel stressed 😂.

Hope you and your DC are all well and looking forward to the Christmas break
I can't believe there is only two weeks of term left; in one way it seems to have lasted for years with so much going on, and in another it has flown by!

DS' school has signed all year 12's up to Unifrog and invited them to start putting in information as and when they chose.

He did pretty well in his Economics assessments and has a planned essay for History next week. It will be timed during class, but they have been given the question in advance so they can do some prep.

Looking back at the term I think DS had a tough first half settling in to a new school with a totally different ethos and work ethic, but seems to have settled in the second half, joined some clubs, the rugby team, made a few friends and got a decent routine going. On balance, not a bad start to sixth form life. Hope your DC have also had a positive first term in year 12.

Sounds good @Waspie. DD has made the decision to drop Psychology and carry on with French, Economics and Politics. It’s the right choice for her and I think having that bit of spare bandwidth will help enormously going forward.

@Waspie that is all positive, It does seem like a long term, but because A levels are so short, as soon as you look forward there seems like barely any time left! I feel as you do about reflecting on the new school thing, DD has now settled very well and is doing well too. I definitely think the move was a good thing for her and will help her going forward adapting to new environments.

@JessyCarr making the decisions to drop/change subjects I feel gives more focus on what they are really interested in and enables them to put their all in. DD swapped early on to psychology and all going ok. The focus is now on getting the predicted grades they need!

DD's biggest stresses seem to be doing practicals in bio and chem. She is doing ok at them but does worry about it too much beforehand 😀.

It has gone quick. Although I'm a teacher and I'm counting the days for the end of term, it's been a tough one.

I'm so proud of DD (can't brag in real life but feel I can here). She's just taken it all in her stride. She is naturally quite anxious - gets it from me I think - but she's gritted her teeth and done the stuff. She's had exams this week, she thinks maths wasn't great, but she is happy elsewhere. She had 1:1 target setting meetings with all her subject teachers, which she was nervous for but they went fine. Her economics teacher told her she should be aiming for an A and Russell group uni (I'm not convince RG is always best, but nice to have someone show confidence in her). She passed her driving theory test today and has had her first driving lessons. The only thing she hasn't managed is to get a job, which is proving much harder than these things did back in my day.. And she's generally quite lovely.

It's good that your daughter has made this decision early @JessyCarr The subjects she is taking are content heavy and, from everything I've read, universities tend to offer on the student's best three A Level results anyway so a fourth can just make life harder for no real gain.

I think you should brag all you want @wonderstuff It sounds like your daughter is doing really well. Congratulations to her on passing the theory test too!

Is there an NEA element for practical's in bio and chem @bluefineliner ? I'm sure they will get easier the more she does.

@Waspie I checked with DD and the practicals are NEA, they have to do 12/13 overall and just have to pass them. She has done 3 so far and is passing them all, and hopefully will continue. She does like to have something to stress over though, you would think I'd be used to it by now, but every time, I take her stress on too 😂.

DD is tired all the time but insists on working extra shifts at her job (seasonal touristy area) for the run up to Christmas. She loves working so I am leaving to her for now as when Jan hits her shifts will drop off and her school work will take more focus. Her job hasn't affected school yet, but I am sure it will next year when mocks on on the horizon.

How are others balancing their work/school commitments?

I think it's good that they are NEA @bluefineliner hopefully that will be better for your daughter than having to do them under exam conditions. Ha, yes, I think that's a mother's lot in life - I worry about DS way more than I have ever worried about myself.

I was with a group of about 20 teenagers at a theatre rehearsal yesterday evening and they were all absolutely shattered and saying how tired they are. Autumn term is so long.

DS is tennis coaching as his PT job, but at the moment as many lessons are being cancelled as are going ahead due to the weather (his club don't have any indoor courts). I tried to get him to go for a seasonal job at a local garden centre as they always want lots of cheap young labour to lug Christmas trees around, but he was too slow applying. With hindsight I'm quite glad he didn't go for this as he's already very busy. My son is planning to sleep a lot over the Christmas holidays, I'm sure your daughter, and lots of other teenagers will have the same aim

Anyone have a child who is struggling with a level maths?
She always enjoyed gcse maths but did have a wonderful teacher and the school had an excellent teaching style that my daughter loved and thrived under. She got a grade 8 in maths and presumed she’d be fine with a level maths but she’s saying she’s really struggling at the moment.
she’s one of only 2 girls in the group and hasn’t really made friends in her maths class so can’t determine whether everyone is struggling or it’s just her. She had an assessment today which she said she struggled with. The previous assessment she did well in and she said some people were forced to drop the subject at that point. It’s obviously too late to drop maths now. I’ve tried to talk to her about being resilient and that we often come up against blips like this and that she needs to perhaps spend a little more time on her maths at the moment. I’ve even suggested a tutor to help.
Is this common at this point in the year and any one got experience of their child ‘turning it around.’ At the moment it feels like she’s giving up which isn’t like her.

@Teadrinker81 I don’t think “maths regret” is uncommon, and it’s certainly not new. I recall my sister having that same Christmas crisis in Y12, some 30ish years ago. She did turn it around with the help of a tutor though.

And that’s the good news. If difficulties can be acknowledged now, there is time to tackle them. Does the school offer any extra support, and are you able to be in touch with her maths teacher(s) for their assessment of where she’s at? If you think a tutor is needed then I’d go for it sooner rather than later, before your DD’s confidence drops further. A bit of extra help may well make all the difference.

’Maths regret’ is such a great term for it!
DD has mentioned that there are drop in sessions at lunchtime so think she needs to ditch some of trips to the coffee shop/supermarket and accept some help. I think part of it may be the shock of not finding things easy and think she has to accept that she’s going to have to work at it. Ideally she’d like to study architecture as she is really arty so maths is quite important.

@Teadrinker81 Absolutely - if they offer drop-in sessions then she should make the most of them! I do think it can be hard for them, and brave of them, to admit they are struggling, so kudos to her.

We have had similar recently with (much younger) DS, who it turns out has been struggling and worrying about something school-related that’s actually quite easy to fix. We had to reassure him that all the emphasis on being strong and resourceful and resilient doesn’t mean you have to soldier on alone and suffer in silence. Sometimes the “strong” thing to do is face up to a problem and let parents and teachers help you to solve it.

Hi all, lovely to hear how everyone is getting on.
Teadrinker81 dd was finding maths homework hard initially so she made it part of her timetable to go to the drop in sessions and do her homework there. She told me last week that now she is much more confident, and so at the drop ins she is doing the hard 'extra' question that they regularly get set, so stretching her a bit. I think there is a big jump to maths A level, but if they are good at maths, they just need some support to get over the bump.

dd is doing really well. (I hesitate to write that as I don't wnat to jinx it) despite the friendship issues, she has now settled, has new friends, and is managing the interaction with the one girl she struggles with, everything has calmed down on that front. She is up to date with homework heading into the holidays (this is incredible for her, she used to always have late and undone homework hanging over her)
She is doing chemistry and computer science flash cards on the bus every day, so that is revision for the stuff they are learning, again, this proactive learning is a first. And the CS teacher made the flash cards (on an app) because she asked for them, so that feels really supportive.
And she got an A on her last chemistry test.

Sorry to brag, but last year with GCSEs was so hard and she was so broken, I didn't know if we would even make it through this term.

driving is also going well, and just waiting for her English resit results in Jan.

DS has definitely got the end of term blues. He's lost his mojo a bit in the last week and isn't sleeping well.
Also got his first progress check last week, 3 C's, which he was disappointed with.
Roll on Christmas and a break. Hopefully, back on track in January. This term is always a slog at the end, but this year seems particularly so 😢