Year 13 2024/2025 - support, discussion and looking after each other - continuation from year 12 thread

[elkiedee]

I've just realised that the year 12 2023/2024 thread is full - oops! - last message on 16 August - don't know if someone started another continuation thread but I can't see it. This coming year DS1 does A levels and university applications, DS2 will be in his GCSE year.

If there is a thread already started please let me know.

Hope he settles in well, @PennywisePoundFoolish. That feels like an early start.

Not off to Sheffield till the 20th and I feel I still need to make sure DS is going to buy/cook vegetables and clean his bathroom properly. I guess we'll just have to hope that we've done a good enough job over the last 18+ years, and that they will now learn from their own experience.

When we were looking around accommodation last year one of the people showing us around said that three weeks in is when first years often get homesick – maybe because they've just realised it's not just a holiday. So maybe there's that to come, but I think I'll feel better for knowing to expect it.

Good luck to everyone who is off to university!

DD, having point blank refused to apply last year as she was determined to apply with grades in hand, is now kind of sad that everyone is going away soon. But she did really well so I think she is in a good place to apply for whatever she wants to do.

@PennywisePoundFoolish Is your DS autistic? Has he been in contact with the disability team around accommodations and an LSP, exam arrangements etc? If so have they communicated it with all lectures yet? Many will do it automatically as long as DS consented to it. If he didn't he will have to let them know himself.

What sort of provisions have disability team and DSA set up for him? He should have a specialist study mentor and perhaps one for mental health/general wellbeing. They are quite good at slowly working with them to engage more, and also go out of their comfort zone. If he struggles with talking to people, you may want disability teams to communicate to lectures, to give him accommodations around group projects and/or group presentations or presenting himself. They may be able to adapt this for him, or something else. Or maybe he can do it in private with just the lecturer etc. Has he found any societies etc, he'd like to join? That could help with taking to people etc.

I will say if he's doing a subject with lots of seminars, he may struggle initially, but encourage him even just to attend. What degree is he doing? Seminars do tend to be smaller and more expectations for group discussion, however you could get disability team to communicate to lecturers things like not picking on him randomly etc. I think he will grow loads in uni, as long as he has the right support, and I'm sure he'll settle in great over time.

DS2s term doesn't start until 22nd but he's got 2 sessions next week, 1 for autistic students and another about erm something 🙈 . So as his tenancy starts on the 6th we decided to move him in, as going back and forth between Essex and Exeter is a bit challenging with the other 3 DC and work. I hope he'll be OK, his accommodation is quite far from his campus as we panic-booked.

He said the session today was useful, he did talk to a couple of people but didn't eat the lunch ad it was "too weird".

We're home I'm shattered and glad DH is driving at the weekend as it was not fun. But we survived 😅

My ds is also off to Sheffield on the 20th - I think my main task before he goes is talking him through shopping ideas and meals that will fill him and not cost a fortune - he seems to eat multiple meals a day and I think catering for himself will be a shock to the system despite the fact he’s a good cook 😅
A few of his friends are taking gap years so I think he’ll feel quite a pull back home - but he’s generally pretty sociable so as long as he settles ok and meets people he gets ok with, it should be ok…

Hope it went well @PennywisePoundFoolish

@Changes17@Monstermunchy we’re also moving ds into Sheffield on 20th. He’s in Froggatt.

Sheffield’s a popular choice it seems!

@PennywisePoundFoolish hope all goes well for your DC in Exeter. I know many students who have been to Exeter and they have all enjoyed it. A couple of DC’s friends are starting there this year.
My DC is not going to be too far from home, an easy train ride, so I expect will be home a lot at weekends. It’s a big move for them, they are currently waiting for an ASD assessment and like to be at home. They wanted to push themselves so chose to book accommodation 🤞.
Good luck to all starting uni!

@Monstermunchy @NCTDN DS is in Ranmoor. Yes, I think DS needs a plan for what he’s going to eat - curious to see whether his eating habits change once he’s paying! Plan is to drop off stuff and then do a supermarket trip before heading home.

@Changes17 @NCTDN Endcliffe vale here.
I’m going to do a list of ideas with him - we’ll do a food shop before we go too - I bet he stops using half a pint of milk on his cereal 😅

I’m guessing there’ll be lots of parents on a food shop on Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning!! That’s our plan too.

Exciting to hear of the plans to start university for so many!

@BonjourCrisette I'm glad to hear that your DD has done really well and is in a great position to start her applications.

@PennywisePoundFoolish sounds like your DS has done well to engage with the bits of the programme that he finds helpful/relevant. I think being a bit selective might be key for most of our young people when there's so much on offer.

DC1 doesn't start until October, and is in catered accommodation, so her can't cook, won't cook attitude will sadly remain unchallenged for a while longer. I think she'll be very keen to get started as most of her friends are disappearing off to different cities in the next couple of weeks.

Ds sat down last night and made a two week plan of meals, with a shopping list for each week and a basics shopping list to remind him to check if he needs toiletries, loo roll etc. I’m pleasantly surprised. I am envisioning a lot of FaceTime calls in the first few weeks though, along the lines of ‘is this chicken cooked?’ and ‘what was the ratio of water to rice again?’. I think we’re going to be living off pasta bolognese and chicken curry over the next few weeks so he can practise

Ds has had a wonderful time choosing his tools for his course and is very engaged with that.
Getting any interest beyond the "hmm, choose it yourself" for anything domestic has been trying. He has now bought a second pair of trainers, although under duress and is swearing that he doesn't need to take a second pair of shoes so they might as well stay here. Apparently three pairs of shorts and 5 t-shirts will cover next term, and why on earth have I bought a laundry basket for him? What use is that?

Somewhat different from the girls who had their lists of everything they could possibly need.

I'm totally going to stalk you and your kids next year so I can work out what I need to prep for!

It all sounds so exciting but I am glad DD has taken a year out. She's an anxious soul and I think a year of work will hopefully ground her a bit. Plus applying with grades in hand will possibly be a bit less stressful! And maybe (not holding out too much hope) she will save a bit of money up for the following year.

I was expecting this, but got a packing list off wiwikau. DS is taking it as Bible and trying to take every single thing on the list

My DD is taking a year out and planning to work more shifts at her weekend job. At the moment she just picks extra shifts when they show on the app (mainly because she had quite alot of plans until this month and didn’t want to commit to too much) She was doing an extra one yesterday and one of the senior managers came up and said to her she was a great worker and she could do as many hours as she wanted - she could do a full time 40 hours a week even 🤣. She just needs to give them her availability each week.

she was horrified at that - I did suggest I expected at least 25 hours a week. She knows she won’t get many hours in Jan / Feb and she is planning a big holiday in March / April so she does need to blitz the pre Xmas work.

Glad all our young people's plans are coming together, whether it's university this year or a year out. I do think DS2 may have been better to do the latter, but he was adamant so we've just got to go with it.

We're taking him down today but already behind schedule. I'm taking a few minutes to hide ensure DS2 has everything packed. Mostly shorts and t shirts here too!

We're buying most stuff today/tomorrow. DS2s cookery skills are somewhat limited but he's quite health conscious, so I'm hoping that motivates him.

He should be getting an app, Brain in Hand, through the DSA help. I'm hoping he uses it, but I'm not convinced. He did admit coming of his antidepressants before the exams wasn't a good decision, so I'm glad he's recognised that and hopefully won't stop taking them for thr first year at least.

Monday is a session for autistic students so I hope he manages to attend it and finds it helpful.

Thread is nearly full so I’ve created a new one for anyone who would like to join. https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/higher_education/5406085-uni-starters-202526-all-welcome?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

DS2 is moved in. Did a huge shop in Sainsbury but still have more to buy. Not much, but they had no sharp knives left.

We're struggling with the laundry situation as there's an app, but it doesn't work(!). Hoping to find out at least what detergent can be used and where it is before we leave.

A late update - we put in one of dd’s history papers for remark on results day as she was 1 off a B. It came back unchanged but school suggested a second paper had potential. Dd was unsure as she was pretty gutted about it not changing. But we did go for it and it came back a B! So thrilled. She’s applying for 2026 entry so that was perfect. Got there in the end.

Great news 💪🏼