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Further education

You'll find discussions about A Levels and universities on our Further Education forum.

Original poster

Year 13 2024/2025 - support, discussion and looking after each other - continuation from year 12 thread

997 replies

elkiedee · 21/08/2024 19:13

I've just realised that the year 12 2023/2024 thread is full - oops! - last message on 16 August - don't know if someone started another continuation thread but I can't see it. This coming year DS1 does A levels and university applications, DS2 will be in his GCSE year.

If there is a thread already started please let me know.

OP posts:
Earlymornyawn · 04/08/2025 18:43

@PennywisePoundFoolish so sorry to hear that your DC is so stressed. Normally uni’s are pretty good about the accommodation if there is a disability involved so 🤞. Also hope that the meds help, it’s so stressful for the parent as well when they are so far away at uni if they have MH issues, I had that situation with my older DC so know how hard it is.

My DC has only just applied for DSA so will have to wait and see what happens.

Not long now until result’s day, 🤞🤞for everyone!

BonjourCrisette · 04/08/2025 19:45

Fingers crossed you can fix the accommodation! Hugs to you.

GingerPussInBoots · 04/08/2025 22:30

mumonthehill · 31/07/2025 18:07

@GingerPussInBoots not quite sure really. He has talked about a year out and the debt aspect of uni really worries him. The reality is that if he wants to continue his sport uni is the best place to do it. I do not mind really as he is very sensible and independent student I know he will be ok. Just trying not to push either way but secretly I would like him to go. If he does not Nottingham then It think he will not go.

Bless him
I can understand his worries
the money side of it does worry me but I do think it will hopefully be worth it

hopefully the time of their lives xx

GingerPussInBoots · 04/08/2025 22:34

PennywisePoundFoolish · 04/08/2025 18:03

Thanks @BonjourCrisette @jamimmi

It's transpired he messed up his accommodation application a bit, so it's been eating away at him. This is a very DS2 thing.

I've sent them an email explaining the crisis etc and hopefully they'll let me know what, if anything we can do.

I'm hoping as he did fill out the disability document correctly it will be salvageable. And obviously it's a conditional offer, so nothing is set in stone.

I think the DSA questions around socialising really got to him, as he's not got any close friends. He's got very into going to the gym, but that's a very solitary thing. I just hope if he does manage to go to university, he makes a friend or 2.

He responded well to the medication last time, and the psychiatrist and I did try and encourage him to wait a while longer before coming off it. But he was adamant and old enough to make such decisions. He accepts he needs to stay on it a good 6 months this time.

Hope he gets Ona nd I hope this is where he meets his people or even just one or two

Changes17 · 05/08/2025 07:36

I’m sorry to hear your DS is having a hard time@PennywisePoundFoolish. It’s an anxious time all round - certainly is here.

PennywisePoundFoolish · 05/08/2025 10:39

Thanks all

The DSA assessor was so kind and helpful, as was our GP. So although things are tricky, the services have been very helpful. Which after 17 years in the SEN world is not usually the case 😅

I also saw an email DS2 had from Bath inviting him to a stay overnight thing before the term starts, as he was identified as disabled etc.
He'd not replied and yesterday wasn't the day, but I'll broach it. I guess when results aren't yet known it's a bit of a tough one; as if he doesn't get the required grades it will add an extra sting.

I am concerned about the distance (we're in Essex); his insurance choice is even further away. But I guess a week tomorrow we'll all have more clarity....

PennywisePoundFoolish · 05/08/2025 12:23

The university replied and said as it was only a little late, they'll process it and just needed his Student Loan Entitlement letter, so I've done that straight away. Relief!

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 05/08/2025 16:27

Sorry to hear your DS2 has been struggling @PennywisePoundFoolish . It's positive though that he knows what's helped in the past and is taking steps that will help him feel better. And it sounds like Bath have been receptive regarding the accommodation issues - fingers crossed.

PennywisePoundFoolish · 06/08/2025 11:12

Thank you. It's an eye-opener that he needs more support, as he was a rabbit in the headlights when I said we needed the Student loan entitlement letter. I found it, so all was good, but I feel bad I'd it all got to this point.
The university has been so helpful and DSA, so that is reassuring. Just the small matter of results day to get through next 😅

BonjourCrisette · 06/08/2025 17:52

PennywisePoundFoolish · 05/08/2025 12:23

The university replied and said as it was only a little late, they'll process it and just needed his Student Loan Entitlement letter, so I've done that straight away. Relief!

Great news! Well done.

Only just over a week to go, everyone. I am so ready for this wait to be over!

Monstermunchy · 06/08/2025 19:57

Ugh I feel a bit sick thinking about this time next week 😅DS doesn’t want to discuss it - and I can see his point. We will have a clearing chat next week but for now, we’re pretending it’s not happening!

@PennywisePoundFoolish sorry to hear it’s been tough but glad uni have been helpful

BonjourCrisette · 06/08/2025 23:05

Yeah, I have to say I feel a bit anxious too. I woke up this morning just kind of in a state of worry. I know DD worked hard and was really sensible with her revision etc. But I just hope all the results are what she needs to apply to where she wants to go next year. I know if they are not, we'll deal with it. But it's just a lot. Sending love and hugs to all other anxious parents!

I am glad DD is keeping herself busy and enjoying time with friends. I actually sent her some extra money this week because she had kind of run out due to a shopping spree where she bought a very expensive but really nice bag (I feel like she deserves it tbh). But I want her to be having a good time right now. She could so easily end up spiralling into worrying and that would not be good (actual anxiety diagnosis which has been difficult at times).

I'm also anxious because her boyfriend is away right now on a long trip with his parents and is constantly telling her how much he misses her and can't wait to be with her and how he can't be happy without her. While I'm glad that she has a nice boyfriend (he is genuinely a good kid and kind to her), I'm also a bit weirded out about how intense it all seems to be. Maybe I've forgotten how it feels to be 18 and in love for the first time. But also I'm not happy about the intensity, especially at this stage in their lives. Obviously don't want to interfere, but also I don't want him to be bringing her down with his tales of woe about how he can't live without her. Any advice welcome (though I'm not sure there is anything anyone can do but just wait it out).

Monstermunchy · 06/08/2025 23:33

@BonjourCrisette it’s tricky because whatever you think, I would imagine they wouldn’t want to hear it or take advice.

My elder son had a rather intense relationship in y13 which I felt uneasy about - it lasted through year 1 of uni (they were at different unis) and then she dumped him - it wasn’t very pleasant. It was a steep learning curve and he was quite bruised by it at the time - but he met a lovely girl in his second year uni (they’ve just graduated). These things often run their course so the best thing is just to watch from the side lines, ready for when your DD may need you - good luck!

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 06/08/2025 23:35

BonjourCrisette · 06/08/2025 23:05

Yeah, I have to say I feel a bit anxious too. I woke up this morning just kind of in a state of worry. I know DD worked hard and was really sensible with her revision etc. But I just hope all the results are what she needs to apply to where she wants to go next year. I know if they are not, we'll deal with it. But it's just a lot. Sending love and hugs to all other anxious parents!

I am glad DD is keeping herself busy and enjoying time with friends. I actually sent her some extra money this week because she had kind of run out due to a shopping spree where she bought a very expensive but really nice bag (I feel like she deserves it tbh). But I want her to be having a good time right now. She could so easily end up spiralling into worrying and that would not be good (actual anxiety diagnosis which has been difficult at times).

I'm also anxious because her boyfriend is away right now on a long trip with his parents and is constantly telling her how much he misses her and can't wait to be with her and how he can't be happy without her. While I'm glad that she has a nice boyfriend (he is genuinely a good kid and kind to her), I'm also a bit weirded out about how intense it all seems to be. Maybe I've forgotten how it feels to be 18 and in love for the first time. But also I'm not happy about the intensity, especially at this stage in their lives. Obviously don't want to interfere, but also I don't want him to be bringing her down with his tales of woe about how he can't live without her. Any advice welcome (though I'm not sure there is anything anyone can do but just wait it out).

No advice to offer @BonjourCrisette, but I agree that your DD's boyfriend's intensity is a bit much for 18yos, and probably not helpful at a time when both of them are looking to make big decisions about their futures. It's just more extra complication to worry about Flowers.

BonjourCrisette · 07/08/2025 10:12

Thanks guys. I am trying to be patient and supportive without validating the 'can't live without you' stuff. I am not naturally patient so it's quite trying!

MonkeyTennis34 · 07/08/2025 10:13

Really hoping that this time next week, DS2 will be sorted, whether that involves clearing or not 😬😬😬

mumonthehill · 08/08/2025 06:48

Anyone else's dc getting a little but tricky and stroppy? Ds suddenly being a bit defiant and although he is super independent he now is pushing boundaries a bit. Not sure if this is stress or he is just being a bit of an idiot.

Changes17 · 08/08/2025 11:18

DS is usually fairly relaxed but has been talking about unrelated things making him feel anxious - as well as about how the exams went.

I think he feels it’s harder to know how he’s done because there were issues with some of the papers. Less than a week to go now though, and then we’ll know one way or another…

mumonthehill · 13/08/2025 11:32

Just checking in, i know there is another thread running but sending positive thoughts to all.

Changes17 · 13/08/2025 12:20

Definitely. It's been a long old run through the last two years. Sending positive thoughts for all tomorrow - and I hope all DC get what they need for the next step.

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 13/08/2025 14:28

Yes, thinking of everyone collecting results. This thread have been really supportive during tricky times - thanks to all of you for being here Flowers

jamimmi · 13/08/2025 19:07

One last hurdle, just not sure we will cross it here but good luck to all tomorrow.

Earlymornyawn · 13/08/2025 19:45

Yes, good luck to everyone tomorrow! Look forward to hearing how everyone has done.

DC is feeling very overwhelmed.

I haven’t found the new thread yet.

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 13/08/2025 20:01

jamimmi was it your DC wanting Lancaster? Have you seen the clearing grades required, they're even lower than last year for a lot of subjects?

PennywisePoundFoolish · 13/08/2025 20:29

This thread has been amazing support over the last 2 years. DS2 is very anxiouis, and I must admit I am feeling it too. Good luck to all Flowers