End of Year 13: Results, Summer and plans for September and onwards

[Rollergirl11]

Noticed the current thread is almost full so thought I better start a new one for discussing results day and our DC’s plans for uni/gap years or anything else!

Duck handling with DD2

Hope your DD gets better soon Miranda

That looks a lot of fun Sammy I love ducks, we have silkies here which DS and DH are very fond of.

Heard from DD that Oxford is good but no wild parties yet and nothing much happened at their formal dinner. Ordered her birthday cake to be delivered to college.

Aww that will be nice @Penguinsa she will love that, a cake delivery :) Happy birthday to your DD.

Thanks Sammy DD sent us photos of the Northern lights over Oxford which are nice.

DH having shown no interest in the university process before is now telling all his colleagues about DD being there and one has just asked him for tips on getting their child there. I hope they aren't going to use any of these. Tip one apply in December or even November (deadlines mid Oct), tip 2 write a motivation letter and post it to Oxford. 🤔 Tip 3 don't worry about A level results as you apply before.

Think lectures etc start next week though rather random communication from DD.

Hope those with freshers flu recover quickly and pleased your recovery is going well @Penguinsa

DS started lectures yesterday and says he is enjoying them, he's been in contact on whatsapp quite a lot - including a panicked "I've lost my key" (not sure what he expected me to do about that - find it remotely?! I told him to get a new one from the porters, I'm sure it happens all the time!) I think the more structured routine of lectures every day will suit him better than the chaos of freshers "week". He has signed up for a couple of societies and met his college family so seems to be slowly settling. This afternoon he is going to attempt to figure out the laundry!

DS is coming home tomorrow. Allegedly to help me with a sports event I'm running, but when I reassured him that much as I appreciated his kindness he didn't need to miss out on anything at University to help me, he did say "Well I was wanting to take a guitar back..." so maybe it's not 100% altruism! I'm looking forward to seeing him anyway, though I kind of wish he'd mentioned it before I'd done the food shopping for the weekend!

DD has been too busy to miss us, she says, which is good news. Had her first lab yesterday, been to the library (loves a library sesh so was looking forward to this) and off to try lacrosse today and climbing tomorrow. Shockingly she has actually done a wash too! She is loving the sociability of her hall - everyone always in their kitchen, it's the one everyone gravitates to. Grateful that her room is not the one next door!

DS is having a good time. Also done a wash and a supermarket visit.

Missed out on the volleyball team but has made one of the hockey teams so that's good.

He's also had a rotten cold but didn't tell me about it - it only came out at our first FaceTime when I could see how full up he was!

Otherwise all good! We're going up at the start of November for a visit. Counting down the days already!

Lol haha thats funny @Penguinsa . Knowing the Oxford process with the eldest DD when she applied, I hope you corrected DH with the tips. Eldest DD has a high energy physics summer school at the end of year 1 in the phd (next september), and its been flitting between Oxford and Durham. Its at Durham this year, so hoping its at Oxford when she goes next year. Shes off to Canfranc (northern Spain) next week to work on the experiment which is in a long tunnel in a mountain. Told her to wrap up, it will be cold in there.
DD2 after duck handling, has been looking through microscopes and learning about anatomy of sheep. DD2 friend from Wyoming has come over to Nottingham (staying in an Air B and B close by). So DD2 will be showing the sights, although tomorrow friend will have to fend for herself as the family has FIL funeral.
Sounds like everyone has settled in well and enjoying their time there and slowly but surely getting over the freshers flu.

Oooh just thought, we are on page 17 out of 20, has anyone got any ideas for a new title for the next thread?

We enjoyed having DS home at the weekend. Both my elder children are 4-5 hours away so popping home for a quick visit is not easy, but I dropped DS off at the station at 8.30 last night and he was back in halls by 10.30.
He seems happy enough though he's not really made strong friendships with his flatmates as yet, they don't seem to have a huge amount in common. But he's found friends on his course and the clubs he's joined so that's ok. He seems to have hit it off with a couple of the lab technicians too but hasn't had enough contact with any of his lecturers to form any strong impressions of them yet. But overall it all seems to be going according to plan!

Hope your DS prefers things now lectures have started Ithink I think freshers week is hard on those less social and when lectures start it's much easier.

Good to hear things are going well generally.

Lectures started for DD on Monday and matriculation is this Saturday.

How's everyone getting on? DD is home for a few days as she has reading week - as Bristol started early she has reading week quite early too.

Is lovely having her here - I've missed talking to her about not much but is lovely to be able to now. She has also been telling me lots of things about friends, and things she's been doing :)

She's going Out with a few friends who are having gap years and said she thinks she's probably got used to the size of Bristol for going out. Not sure York will quite compare now!

Are other people starting to think about housing for next year? DD knows some people she wants to live with and they're trying to work out who else to ask. She's also been talking to some second years who have given her some tips.

DS mentioned next year's accomodation when he was home the other weekend, but only in so far as saying he already knows he doesn't want to live with any of his current flatmates. He seems to be making plenty of friends from his course/clubs though so hopefully he'll sort something out with some of them. He certainly seems to be keeping busy. The other day he told me he'd been to an organ recital which surprised me as whilst he's very into music it's mainly rock/blues/jazz and he's never shown much interest in classical music before. Apparently he went with some people he met on the Nordic Society Viking Pub Crawl...we're not remotely Nordic...
All sounds good clean(ish) fun though! Hopefully some study is taking place between all the activities.

I don't think DD has thought about Y2 housing yet, but she is in London where I believe it all happens later. Plus she might try staying in halls if she can, it's so much easier than commuting in and out.

I'm hoping DD3 doesn't think about accommodation until Feb at least! I know English unis go in early for this but it seems crazy to me. Older two were at Scottish unis where May is the usual time. I'll be recommending dd3 to wait.. but am sure she'll have her own views.

Hi everyone, sorry kind of dropped off the thread a bit!

Lots going on for DD. Her boyfriend went down to visit her a few weekends ago; stayed for a couple of nights and then broke up with her. Said the long distance wasn’t working for him. After 3 weeks. DD was/is devastated. I think it’s probably for the best and hoping she will realise it soon enough. She’s actually coping remarkably well. I thought it would trigger a relapse but she’s doing okay on that front. Just a bit heartbroken.

She is coming back for Reading week on Friday and going back for Halloween the end of next week. We can’t wait to see her and she could really do with some tlc and home comforts.

Funny people mentioning accommodation hunt for Yr2. Everyone has started really early in Exeter. DD and her flatmates have decided they all want to live together next year and they have sorted out an 8 bed house already! One of her flatmates sister is also at Exeter and stayed in this house last year, knows the landlord and has only good things to say about him. It’s all happened very quickly with zero input from us but kind of admire their organisation and decision making! Now we just need to shell out for the deposit. 😬🤪

@Rollergirl11 sorry to hear about DD and the long distance not working. Im sure come friday there will be big hugs all round.

FIL funeral went well last tuesday, and got to see DD1 and DD2. DD1 is off to Spain next week, and on the 10th shes off to a residential in Florence at Gallileo institute for two weeks. Its like kind of like a summer school for years 12's, but for postgrads. DD2 is currenly going through photos of camera traps set up to get cheetahs and leopards in africa. Its part of the volunteering which helps to get an internship later on. She also volunteered and gave the lizards a bath and a clean, and even cleared out the tarantula case whilst he was still in there, and she hates spiders. Shes getting over her fears which is great.

Housing front, both DD1 and DD2 + B/F are looking at studios for next year. DD2's uni friends all live on brackenhurst campus (40 mins bus to notts trent city campus away) , and they all want to be living in the city wheres theres much more to do, since Brackenhurst is extremely rural. So DD2 will get to see them more.

DC is back on Friday for a long weekend. It’s been a bit of a rough week for me for various reasons and out of the blue DC FaceTimed me yesterday about some random things. DC isn’t aware I’ve found this week hard, but inadvertently they absolutely made my week with their silliness. I can’t wait to see them.

Sorry to hear about the break up @Rollergirl11 though whilst it will be hard for your DD now it probably is for the best. If things are not going to work out it is better that the break comes sooner than later I think, then she can fully immerse herself in University life. Obviously long distance relationships can sometimes work out - my brother and his wife have been married for 40 years after a similar arrangement - but I think that's the exception rather than the rule. I was relieved when my DD broke up with her "home" boyfriend part way through her first year as I don't think it was doing either of them any good. She'll be sad for a while I am sure but will hopefully look back on it as positive in the longer term.
I'm glad the funeral went as well as these things can @sammyjoanne Your DD sounds brave. I love most animals...but tarantulas...no thanks!
Sorry you have had a bad week @Neveragainisaid I hope you have a lovely weekend.
I am looking forward to next week. My DD has a wedding dress fitting at a shop in DS's University city so I am getting the train up and hoping to catch up with them both for lunch before DD and I head off to the dress shop and DS has a sports match. By good fortune it's a home match for him next week so hopefully we can squeeze a meet up in.

Lovely to hear the updates though sorry about the breakup stress for your DD Rollergirl and sorry about the funeral Sammy but glad it went as well as it could. Wedding sounds exciting MrsAvocet

Getting somewhat random updates from DD but says she is happy and certainly seems to have a very active social calender with everything from formal dinners, bbq, karaoke, matriculation, boyfriend visiting, parties plus had her birthday. No mention of any studying other than it's great I have no 9am lectures so we asked her and she said she's had hardly any work, a bit more for management but almost nothing for economics. I hope she is actually doing some work in between her socialising. Though glad she seems happy, the biggest concern she's had so far was she had more cakes and doughnuts than she knew what to do with. She has a big room in college and gets to stay all 3 years and can have a locker for keeping things there over the holidays plus can keep her mini fridge there. Not sure if she is rowing yet, she said she was going to row 6 days a week at 6am but quite hard to have a 2 way conversation with her as always says she is busy, though tbf I think she is always busy though not with studying. Term ends around 7 December, not sure if she will come home before then, might do once. My operation recovery is going pretty perfectly and have new job starting in a few weeks.

Ok wise ones, please talk me down - DD texted last night asking for a 7am phone call because she's overslept a couple of times lately 🤦‍♀️
So I've been calling, but she's not picking up (called her 50+ times since 7am, redialling while been doing other things).

She has probably left her phone on do not disturb, either by mistake, or maybe deliberately if she had a bad night, she doesn't always sleep very well.

My question is - when would you do something and what would you do? I am a terrible worrier so already catastrophising but I know she's probably fine. I am too far away to pop round so it would be asking for a welfare check I guess, and she will be mortified and really annoyed if I do that and she's just having a lie in 😬

Mmm, tricky one @stoneysongs. You've tried to contact her as she requested but it hasn't worked out and it's not really a sustainable way of doing things long term. Has she got an alarm clock? This might have to be a learning curve for her if she's missing lectures.

Or are you worried about her mental health? If so, I think I'd be inclined to contact the welfare/pastoral support team.

She has two alarm clocks and her phone, she's pretty hopeless 🤦‍♀️
The ringer usually wakes her though, we've done it before. I think she must be on do not disturb either by mistake or because she couldn't sleep.

I'm not worried about her mental health, she seemed fine last night when we were texting, more that she might be physically ill I suppose. I know it's irrational. Just hard when you can't nip along the landing and give her a prod, check she's breathing 😅