Thread 35 - Covid Cohort from GCSE 2020 'What They Did on Their Summer Holidays'

[OrangeCinnamonCroissant]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades. It's all relative!
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will find a thread within the Further Ed board.
Possibly a move to Parent of Adult Children Board in future? Post Results?

Previous Thread

@Alsoplayspiccolo agghhhhh! I feel your pain. She can’t spend what she doesn’t have. I am not giving DD any more money. She needs to feel the pinch otherwise what is the motivation to work? She has mentioned a night out and being short of cash this week but I’ve stayed strong. She has her job but not enough hours so is waited to hear on 2 other jobs but no response.

I had exactly this conversation with DS yesterday - I've happily given him money here and there this summer so that he could celebrate exams and end of school but that's stopping now. He can get off his backside and earn some. Apart from anything else I'll need all my pennies to keep the flipping house warm this winter.

@Zebracat Ha ha your post made me laugh. I asked Dd to accompany on a dog walk somewhere yesterday. She didn’t like my choice of destination so I asked for hers and she didn’t have one.🙄

One of our neighbours had a hoopoe in his garden. Dh went to see it. It only stayed a few day then never returned. We are Norfolk/Suffolk border.

Ds2 is happy working his full time summer job. The only annoying thing is that he started first Monday in July but doesn't get paid until 22nd august. But ds1 has finished uni and taken on a temporary job pulling up grass from around baby trees, then putting tree protectors on. He hates it. He could have worked his usual summer job where ds2 is. But he turned it down as he hoped to travel throughout July. But ended up only going away for 3 weeks. I think ds1 will quit tomorrow. Apparently no one has lasted more than week as it's hard work.

We (dh, ds3 and myself) are going on holiday 13th Aug to Cornwall. I'm not looking forward to going with ds3 as he ruined our last holiday. I'm really struggling with both ds1 and ds3 at the moment. I'm not sure I need 2 bad tempered ds's. They are both so angry all the time. Ds2 loves to wind me up..but he easy enough to get on with. The other 2 are hard work.

It’s somewhat consoling to hear that my teenager is not the only one being, well, a teenager! I’m not planning to say any more to him on the matter. I’m reminding myself that many young people are less mature than their age suggests due to the covid era…

Thanks all...our wedding anniversary today so me and 'Captain Hindsight' have been for long walk on harbour, had lunch and visited the Church we got married in (it's on our usual dog walk anyway 😀). Had a little chat about it all agreed no recriminations if things go wrong. She has to take responsibility for own decisions and actions. The Trustfund savings were enough to top her up for three years of uni to full loan...managed to convince Dd to give a fair chunk back to us so she is not tempted to 'dip in'. I feel better knowing that with us in event of a gap year.

I'm.just going to try and stop worrying now and be pragmatic and busy.

I'm with you all here! Ds1 is insistent (cocky though) he's done well enough for firm, and won't discuss back ups.

Both of mine are so entitled. Ds1 is tight with money, a most unattractive quality. Unlike your lot he's working too much, but then goes and asks me and Dh for £70 for petrol. He's got more money than us!

Dh is in hospital today having a shoulder operation. I'm thus supposed to take both boys to Dorset tomorrow night on my own, to our caravan for 9 days. Hardly a holiday for me.

I am also glad to see others with similar feelings about their teenagers! I have been giving DS money here and there but he does basically nothing around the house, lazes around until the afternoon and then gets to go out and have fun. There's been no conversation about what happens if he doesn't get his grades but as he's deferred entry to 2023 then it doesn't feel so immediate (to either of us).

16 year old DD also frustrates me but in slightly different ways...

I think my DD has had a recent epiphany re cost of living. She's still away (4 weeks now), but I get the odd random whatsapp moan, mainly about how much everything costs/has cost. Tbf to her, she has funded her trip 100%, but it is now dawning on her as to how much either uni option will cost her (she'll just get the minimum £4,400 if she remains in UK). Durham is catering which she already envisages not getting full meal x 3 benefit of so she'll have to supplement, and if she gets a place in Dublin, well, that will not be cheap, and she'll need to get a PT job there quickly.

She returns for 36 hours before we head off as a family for a short overseas break, our first since 2019 other than 2 uni visits. She's actually really looking forward to it she says, though I think it's more that Bank of M&D will be picking up the tab vs spending time with us that's attractive! And she's craving some veg :)

DD got a call about another job and has a trial shift tomorrow. It’ll be great if she gets it as it wasn’t advertised, I just asked if they needed anyone as they looked busy. Sometimes it pays to be.an embarrassing mum.

Good luck for DD’s trial shift @Benjispruce4 .

I also get cross at expectations of what should be paid for. I had to remind dd that I’ve paid for two festivals and a camp this summer… and then paid for the meal deal at the festival she’s volunteering at this week. And drove her to Exeter (from Dorset holiday) so the train journey would be shorter. She said ‘I was thinking you would pay my train fare’ in a wheedling voice but I drew the line there! And the train back to Birmingham. She really doesn’t think she can face another train journey to her next festival though 😩

To be fair DS has been working loads of hours (at a job DH got for him, not sure whether he would have got himself a job?) But this is not a 'normal' summer job, it is very well paid and relevant to his degree (and CV going forward) so he really is extremely fortunate. I am not sure if he realises how lucky he is to have got this job, as everything usually just falls in his lap. It's working on a time limited project which is all hands to the pump so lots of 10 hour days and 11 hour nightshifts. He earnt £1,000 after NI last week , lots of hours yes but still...

But that said, he is at peak teen rudeness and self-absorption stage. So different to DS1 who was really tricky in year 8,9,10 but mainly lovely after yr 12. This DS was fine until the last year or so. He is fundamentally ok but just takes everything for granted and is very entitled. He is really quite rude to us and when I've asked him if he treats his friends like that he openly admits "no, or I wouldn't have any". I know it's all a phase but it can be wearing.

Next week DS1 is away for work and this DS will be on night shifts before going to Magaluf at the end of the week so it will be very strange almost having the house to ourselves. A bit of prep for uni time I guess.

So, DS1 is back, moneyless and phoneless.

More importantly, he has just discovered he has failed at least one final year module. He can't see the exact details because he can't log on without his sodding phone. He is supposed to be doing an MA. No idea what to do now. He can resit. But I think the mark for axresit is capped.

Genuinely had quite enough just at the moment.

Oh no @Piggywaspushed , that's a real bummer. I hope it turns out ok

Oh dear Piggy, that is not good.

Oh no @Piggywaspushed that’s not good. Can he ring up his department to find out his mark and where this leaves him with his degree?

Do you think anyone will be there in the hols?

He also says his laptop isn't charging.

I would have thought so? And if not in the office they’ll be working from home and picking up emails.

How did he hear that he'd failed? If it was an email whilst on holiday it suggests there's someone there.

That's true.

Uni staff don’t generally get uni holidays off - if you see what I mean. They’re not like schools in that respect.

That sounds all a bit rubbish, Piggy.
Presumably, if he’s able to retake, someone has to be available to answer questions about that and arrange it?

@Piggywaspushed it's likely that he had a uni password saved in a browser to access his student account or something. There will be a way to reset it on another device. Hopefully it is a module that might not have too much bearing on final results. Resits might be soon if exams though!

I bet if he gives them a call Piggy they will have others in the same position and will tell him exactly what his options are, hopefully resitting pronto and carrying on to do his masters. This must happen all the time.

Oh dear @Piggywaspushed I hope some light can be shed tomorrow.

DS is only earning a little from a couple of sessions but luckily he doesn't have expensive tastes other than takeaways. He's playing a lot of sport which is free. He knows next summer will have to be different. Still hasn't booked a driving lesson!