Thread 35 - Covid Cohort from GCSE 2020 'What They Did on Their Summer Holidays'

[OrangeCinnamonCroissant]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades. It's all relative!
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will find a thread within the Further Ed board.
Possibly a move to Parent of Adult Children Board in future? Post Results?

Previous Thread

@Monkey2001 we have always been NT members and the DCs (especially DS) have always liked their gardens, they used to play hide and seek in our local one for years and are still very happy to go there or others with us. Zero interest in the houses though. DS is fond of RHS Wisley as well. He has got his own NT membership now, when ours came up for renewal they had taken him off so I bought him his own. He is starting a second volunteering role with the RSPB next week, all of this is relevant to his course.

We have booked a long weekend next week in Gloucestershire close to the RAU so we can spend a bit of time together where DS will be and become more familiar with it.

That’s a good idea @EspeciallyDeIighted - hope he still likes the place and area on a second viewing! That’s brilliant that he’s got some more volunteering - great life experience and will look good on his CV.

Things are much more peaceful here on holiday without dd! It’s odd as I wouldn’t describe her as difficult at home at all, but she’s been on and off hard work on all our holidays since she was about 13?!

Wow @singingstones I would LOVE to see a Hoopoe. Massive bird fan here currently enjoying Californian hummingbirds, scrub jays and woodpeckers. Are you on the East coast or South coast (bit hazy about where they show up)?

Ah @pangolinfan I am not at home, we're on holiday in France. I've never seen one in the UK. I was always fascinated by hoopoes growing up because they were in all the UK bird guides and look so amazing but you could never see them, I was about 30 when I first saw one in real life. I think they are probably quite common round here but I will never not be chuffed to see one! California sounds fab!

Aww, @singingstones : how fab! Hoopoes are the coolest!! Our Mexico birding highlights were a very close encounter with an osprey; hummingbirds; flamingos and stunning blue jays! Loving the NT/RSBP/Wisley love from the teens - our two will resist NT houses but still love an NT garden (& lucky enough to live near Wisley which they will still turn up for - I need to book Christmas tickets for glow as they both love that. Wierd to think Ds will hopefully have been at uni for a term then 😱

@singingstones that sounds amazing! I had loads of bird books as I child and agree - they looked so magical in the pictures! I'm still smarting after staying 2.5 weeks in Iceland 25 years ago and not seeing a single puffin. It was on my must see list and not one! A friend went a couple of years later and said in places she could hardly walk for fear of treading on one!!

Arrgh. Need to vent. Dh & I are away visiting family. As per earlier post, ds2 got offered a job yesterday. Due to start today & when I contacted him to make sure he was up, he said he had just emailed them to say he didn’t want to start till Monday - because he had told a friend he would help him with preparations for his party (in reality he probably does not want to get up for work tomorrow after a late night tonight). Why not say that yesterday?

And I’m being unreasonable because none of his friends are going to be working full time over the whole summer. What a prince. Doesn’t help we live in an affluent area where many families go on multiple holidays & kids don’t bother with holiday jobs. I just hate the attitude that it’s fine for dh & me to work full time to support him but not for him to work for a few weeks. Dh has been seriously ill this year & may end up giving up work so I really need him to step up.

Rant over!

Oh @Decorhate that’s so frustrating. They can be so entitled can’t they? Hope the job is still there for him on Monday 🤞 and sorry to hear about your dh 😢

@crazycrofter Thanks. Entitled is exactly it. I’m more than happy to carry on working till they are all through uni but can’t understand the mindset where he thinks it’s ok to do nothing all summer? He’s already had a holiday!

@Decorhate D2 can be a bit like this . She complains she doesn’t get enough shifts at the pub then starts messing them around saying she has been invited to a party on this day etc . If you work in a pub, they want you to work in their busy days and you should go to work on a Saturday night!! Her bf ‘works’ for his family business so can basically work or not work so no real comparison for her. DH has to leave the room sometimes such is his frustration.He used to cycle to the market(10 miles away), set up a stall for an elderly man, cycle to school, back to market after school to help run it, pack it up, cycle home again at 15.You can imagine the rolled eyes when he tells that old chestnut!

Oh @Decorhate they can be so frustrating!

Feeling your pain@Decorhate my DS the same, already had a holiday. Failed to organise any sort of job before the holidays, but now looking at travel (which has to be paid for) pretty much up to Xmas! He's taking a gap year and it's starting to feel like it is at our expense although that wasn't the promised plan.
Likewise to the area, everyone else just seems to be affording numerous holidays, trips out, driving lessons and cars.

Yes I often worked two jobs in the holidays so that I had enough to to pay rent etc during the uni year.

But it’s the lack of work ethic/personal responsibility rather than the money that is annoying me.

Probably a good think we are not in the same house right now!

DH has unhelpfully informed me that I'm being overly optimistic about Dd getting into her first choice. He seems to think she took her eye off ball (during exam run up due to new boyfriend) and there were signs she wasn't being truthful when telling us how exams went. Even more frustrating- the college didn't update their mock marks on the system properly, hard to interpret pro portal and the assessment results. He is right Dd has a history of not giving us quite the full story, making out everything is fine and sometimes it isn't. The fact we never got her last mock results from GCSE means I do feel a bit in the dark. What if she is actually not v good at exams or something?

So the long & short of it is optimistic old me is now v. worried and guilty ...because I should have more faith in her abilities. Because of new BF if she gets offer from Cardiff as her insurance she is likely to not go. DH thinks even Sussex might be too far, which is only an hour and a bit away. Southampton was the best all round choice really and if she doesn't get in...DH is being very pessimistic saying she will take a gap and all sorts will go wrong from there.

I don't know what to think..
Apart from to worry over the next three weeks now.

@OrangeCinnamonCroissant I think it’s really hard to predict how things will go this year, even without boyfriend distractions!

Dd hoped to go to the same uni are her bf but got her insurance instead. The relationship did last for 2 years but I think she regrets it now as she feels she missed out on meeting other boys.

@Benjispruce4 DD is volunteering in a nursery school in Ghana, with a few days travel at the end and a couple of days in Egypt on the way back.

Orange, I'm sorry to read your post. At this point in their development, there is so much going on, much of which they are unable to filter as maturely as we'd like, and yet, they can totally surprise us in other aspects.

Whatever her results outcome, you will deal with it, and there will be options, but I can understand it's all made more complex when there's 3rd parties involved (sorry, boyfriend). Make yourself as busy as possible over the next 3 weeks, we all need to take stock and respite before we deal with what Results Day brings.

Btw it's our role to swing between quietly optimistic, then into pragmatic crisis management when needed. If we didn't have hope for them and think through all the outcomes, who else is going to do it?

@OrangeCinnamonCroissant try not to worry as even your dd won’t really know how she’s done. My dd was a bit dramatic about some of her exams so I’m expecting the worst, but then when I talk about plan B she gets offended that I think she’s done badly?!

My husband is a fabulous Captain HIndsight btw, I'm sure that came across :)

@crazycrofter Dd is the same. We have bf distractions too. Phone distractions were big during revision time. Mocks were BBB and they apparently marked harshly but Historically sometimes throws up a C/D in assessment. Other 2 subjects she is consistently A and above. She needs ABB. Right now I have no idea.DH announced in our dog walk last night that he thinks that I’m even if she gets the grades she won’t go. I’m just trying to think about it. It’s not the end of the world if she doesn’t get in or doesn’t go at all.It’s her life and we’ll support her decision. Meanwhile DD1 is starting her first proper job post degree in London next week so it’s very quietly stressful in this house. The dog has never been so well walked.
@mummyinbeds how interesting. Great for her CV.

*History

• I’m trying NOT to think about it

Ah @Seeline I love puffins too, they're like little wind-up toys whirring about. DH and I have just been for another wander (Minerve, would recommend if anyone finds themselves in the vicinity) and saw what we think was a Bonelli's eagle flying over the gorge. We have decided to get back into walking and birding - both have been somewhat curtailed by reluctant DC.

I too can relate @Decorhate, DS has never done a day's work in his life but keeps talking about working this summer as if he can just decide he wants a job and then start work half an hour later.

@OrangeCinnamonCroissant the not having a clue how they've done is driving me mad also, as is the suspicion that DS will make his decisions based on which friends are going where. I am trying not to mention it as I know my fretting is very irritating for everyone. Smile and nod everyone, smile and nod. Not long now.

Thank the Lord for a space where we can talk honestly about our teenagers. I have literally no idea how she has done. Would not be surprised by anything from 3 Fs to 3 A* s, no actually the latter would be really pushing it. She will not discuss any kind of contingency plans, nor is she pursuing student finance , who have been dicks, or booking accommodation, beyond showing me 3 pretty pictures and saying which she liked best
And this Summer she has mainly spent in bed so far. And we have just waited for her to make some decisions. But she would not commit to dates for anything. She hates it if we go away without her, but doesnt want to come with us, so we thought we could get something last minute when sh was with her Dad. She may be going there sometime next week for some unspecified period. But I keep telling myself that we can have lots of lovely holidays if she gets into a University somewhere.
She does love a historic house though. I might try and tempt her out of bed with the promise of a mullioned window….

Decorhate, I feel your pain! DD wants money, to fund the multiple holidays she booked for this summer, but hasn't applied for a job and doesn't understand that summer jobs require staff to, you know, be available in the summer!
She owes us hundreds of pounds,as we've loaned her the money for said holidays, but says talking about money " makes her stressed and anxious. "
Meanwhile, she's still going out with friends all the time, has done nothing about preparing for uni, does nothing around the house to help etc.

It drives me MAD!!
As you said, it's the lack of drive and work ethic that frustrates me. I started earning my own money by odd-jobbing at about 11 or 12, then moved onto teaching the flute at 15, and had summer jobs on top from 16. My parents have me a small allowance monthly and absolutely no loans or advances, so if I wanted something, I had to work and save.

Re results...I have NO idea how DD might have done.
Her mocks were BCD, she needs AAB, but says she won't take her insurance offer of ABC if it comes to that. Given that she had to be dragged through making 5 choices, I have no idea what other options she thinks she might prefer!I

Historically, she always feels exams have gone ok or well, but that's often because she has completely missed what the question is asking and has written what she wants to write (ie everything she knows about the topic!) instead.is
She refuses to talk about results day, plans B,C or D, or even what happens if she DOES get the results needed.
At this point, it feels like uni for her is a way of delaying adult life for three years, whilst having enough money to party as much as she wants; she doesn't give any impression of actually wanting to work to get a degree in her chosen subject.