Thread 31 Covid Cohort - Hopping through Easter and Revision

[OrangeCinnamonCroissant]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.

Our DS/DD may go down various paths (such as employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will most likely find us within the Further Ed board.

previous Thread 30

I've made this one a little bit earlier as things are so busy, at home and on thread, so please feel free to use up previous thread first

Tutor2u online vids are free and useful. On YouTube.

I think it's empty nesting. People find themselves with nothing to do. TBH if DS was going to York or Bath we might!

I’ll definitely be visiting DD! In fact, I was hoping she’d choose Southampton for that very reason - I fancied weekends away to the New Forest with DH.
Birmingham doesn’t quite have the same allure, but the shopping opportunities might make up for it…

Thanks, Cariad. DD had thought about catered, but has decided against it now, so we’ll have another look. Thank goodness for the London weighting.

I didn't visit at all in the first year bar dropping off/picking up at end of terms due to covid and lockdowns.
This year I have done day visits twice - once for his birthday when DH and DD came too for a family meal, and once for an emergency replacement laptop drop off. I'm lucky that the drive is usually only 2.5 - 3hrs so easily do there and back in a day. DS has never indicated that he would like us to stay nearby, and I'm not normally allowed in the house when I do flying visits

I can see possibly doing more weekend visits with DD - I think she might want that. And hopefully if she ends up at UEA I love Norfolk, so would be happy with some coastal trips etc. The journey always seems to take much longer - might be pushing day trips anyway.

I would like to visit once before Christmas to watch her play hockey, say hi, hug, chat and then leave - unless she asks us to stay or go out. I'm not really expecting her to want us around tbh, and I would be surprised if she comes home before Christmas either. Saying that I think it could go either way - no contact from her or lots, nothing inbetween.

I'm expecting DS will want fairly regular visits and trips home, he wants to come back for the occasional hockey match and I think will need quite a bit of support. It's a 90 min drive so not too far but impossible on public transport. We'll have to see how it goes. I don't work on Fridays so it should be possible to pick him up for a weekend at home quite easily.

Interesting about the visits. Not something I had considered.

Mind you we have got to get in first - no revision being done here. DS is as frustrated as me but he just cant make himself.

Visits haven’t crossed my mind either- it’s a 5 hour drive down!
I’ve been thinking of ways to avoid ‘pick up’ at the end of each term, though 🤣

Being fairly close to home was one of DS's main criteria, so it's definitely in his agenda.

DS is only coming home for 4 days this holiday! The rest of the time he is staying with his girlfriend and other friends. I really don't think he i bothered about us visiting him!

I think I will want to visit after a few weeks to make sure DS is ok - not sure how keen he will be but hoping that the promise of a nice pub lunch or something will help. Plus other bribes in the form of snacks and booze. His two closest friends are deferring so he might pop back to see them too. I'd be surprised if we didn't see each other at all until Christmas.

I've ended up doing the overnight coach up to St Andrews a few times for DD2. Turns out even though she wants to study 500 miles from home, she also wants family support when ill, at big football matches etc. DD1, on the other hand, didn't seem too keen on visits and we barely went. But she did come home fairly regularly.

I visited dd1 about once a year in Bristol in the first couple of years. I combined it with a stay with a stay with my sister who lived down the road.
We had a nice few days in Bristol during the 'eat out to help out' thing where we ate in 5 different places. It's really nice living like a student again.
DD is only coming home for a few days too this weekend I think. It's a good thing too as D's is still getting bitten ... in spite of foggers, sprays & moving beds.
He took his biteys with him to his sister's bed. So now dd2 bed is contaminated. So I might have to tell them not to come home.
DS was scrubbing himself with insecticidal shampoo for the dog last night & is showering morning & night.
I've washed & tumble dried everything including pillows & duvets 🤦🏼‍♀️

We have to pick DS up to go to a family wedding a couple of weeks in to starting uni. DS is not impressed. He can't really miss his cousins wedding - he only has two - and his sister is a bridesmaid. I'm hoping he gets into Notts or Warwick as they are both enroute.

I'm already planning holidays for his year in France 😁

My parents visited once a term when I was at uni. They were about two hours away so took me (and now DH) out for Sunday lunch and then disappeared. DH's parents did the same so at least we got a good meal twice a term.

Been into town. Bank account located! Phew!

I remember my parents visiting in the first year - not sure after that. I have no idea whether dd will want visits or not, she’s very sociable and independent but also tends to tell us (well me!) everything in great detail and she likes talking every aspect of her life through with me. We can do that on the phone though. She did mention she’d quite like her brother to visit.

We have ended up visiting DS about once a term, but only because we were in the area anyway - work / a wedding / a sporting event / overnight stop on the way to Edinburgh. It generally involved a visit to the big Asda and us buying dinner for him (and some hungry-looking friends...)

He has also come home for a weekend most terms - his school cohort missed most of their 18th birthdays in lockdown, so 19th and 20ths have become more important gatherings.

@Cantonet. The only stuff that really works for fleas is the spray from the vets. But also , pay particular attention to the seams on the mattress and edges of carpet.Hoover and squirt, and leave bedding out overnight if we get another frost. We have cats and dogs and I have learnt the hard way.
No revision happening here.lots of sleeping. Have to keep telling myself she makes her own choices.
I dont know what will happen once she goes. She has a relationship with her Dad now, and may look to them for support once she finishes school. I don’t know if she views us as a stopping off place that enabled her education or as part of her family. I am very attached to her, and she does know that she will always be welcome here. I don’t want her to feel obliged in any way, she doesnt have to be grateful for a home and an education, they are basic rights.
I would love to be invited to visit tho.

Re visiting. Eldest (Dd) did not come home at all in her first term which I found hard. Most of my friend’s kids came home for a visit 3/4 weeks in... Dd spent most weekends visiting her boyfriend or friends at other unis or they went to her. I went to visit for a day one weekend.

With Ds1 I arranged in advance for him to come back for dh’s birthday in October. I also did a day trip by train to see him in half term. I took him out for dinner but he had lectures do I just did a walking tour of the city. He was home for quite a bit over Christmas & again in January (as they do semesters) & then of course Covid arrived...

I also hate the end of year move. I think we only did it at the end of Y1 for Dd. After that she managed to put things into storage or a friends place for a couple of weeks & then went back by train to move them into the new house. She was there for 6 years & stayed somewhere different every year!

I’m not sure what we will do when ds2 starts in September. It’s a 4 hour drive & dh can’t drive atm for medical reasons, don’t fancy doing it by myself. Might just go by train with his clothes & buy bedding etc up there

@Zebracat thank you for the advice.
I still haven't seen a single flea or bug of any sort.
I'm wondering whether he's got hives from his Covid vaccination last Wednesday. Or an allergy of some sort.
Just because he started itching in his sister's bed as well.

Your situation with your adopted daughter sounds heart-breaking. Are your children all adopted? If that's too personal then please don't feel you have to answer.

DS got an unconditional at Aberystwyth after his scholarship exam a 60% in one & a 70% in the other paper apparently.
I dint think it's going to sway him to go there though

That’s great @Cantonet, a confidence boost if nothing else. Is Bangor still his favourite?

Yet @crazycrofter I think so. I could see him immediately settling in happily there. It's so friendly & very beautiful. Even the lecture theatre had a stunning view of the Menai Straits.

However career wise Surrey would be a much better bet. Applicant day was so very efficient & organised. But the campus came over as impersonal & cold and wasn't one bit beautiful. I think it would be a step out of his comfort zone but sometimes that is a good decision to make.

Ds1 is at our nearest uni. I only went there once in the first year and that was to collect him and his stuff as we went into lockdown.

This third year he's mostly come home to us for visits. I'm sure it'll be similar for Ds2. They come home Dec for 4 weeks. The same at Easter. So I can see that'll be the only time we see him. Though dh often visits his dd in Brighton. So if Ds2 does go to Sussex then I guess dh might meet up with him.

Gosh hadn't even thought of visiting.

Ummm...if DD goes to Portsmouth then it's not far on the train. I suspect she'll want to come back to London to see her brother and sister rather than us going there, but we'll see.

I think we have done all the admin tasks now for ds2. He’s applied for accommodation & student finance in the last couple of days.

We had been putting off student finance but then I found an email from school saying the deadline is May so thought we’d better get a move on!

In case it’s useful to anyone else - I phoned them yesterday for advice as there is a possibility our household income may drop significantly in the near future. Even though Ds probably only qualifies for the minimum loan at present, they recommended he put in our details for us to then add our income as they said that would make it easier if we had to ask for an in-year assessment later on.