Year 12 #1 - GCSEs are sooo last year!

[bpisok]

New thread to see us through to Christmas?

Even if sometimes you do have to just say hi and ask the man at the desk 😂

Go and ask not hi

@TheFirstOHN can I ask a slightly off topic question. How have you found the School has been in terms of support of DS for Oxbridge given ASD. I am assuming he is interested in Oxbridge given taster day.

Reason for asking is that we suspect DD to have Aspergers and are considering assessment. DD has wanted to apply to Oxbridge and I have a fear that they won't support her application if she gets a diagnosis. I may be completely wrong as am still processing what a diagnosis may mean. Are there a lot of high achieving students with ASD at Oxbridge? Sorry if this sounds really ignorant - I am still learning.

eaglefly apologies for jumping in as I know your question was addressed to TheFirst. If you do get an ASD diagnosis for your DD it should have no bearing at all on the school’s support for an Oxbridge application. My DD is at Oxford and I can absolutely assure you that ASD is no barrier to entry. She has definite ASD traits and she says many of the students (and tutors) are the same and/or have a diagnosis.

TheFirst when DS and I went up to Cambridge for a masterclass last weekend I bought a day bus pass in advance. It’s quite a long walk from the station into town. Which college is he heading to?

Yes as a Cambridge dweller I was going to say it is a good 20-25 minute walk to the centre and also depends on which college.

A dayrider bus ticket will cost £4.50 and allows multiple trips and cheaper than two singles which are £2.80. If he crosses over the road the buses which face towards the station go to town and there are quite a few he can take eg. Number 3 and 1 definitely do.

Which college is it? I can get a better idea of which he could take and where to get off.

ShalomJackie - I can answer for TheFirst (with her intermittent WiFi in Italy) as my DS is going to. The master class is at Lady Mitchell Hall on the Sidgwick site - we know Cambridge well enough to know that’s a fair way from the station.

We are driving DS there - partly because any excuse for a day out in Cambridge! But also because DS has ASD and wouldn’t manage train plus 2 tubes across London, next train and walk. He hasn’t much experience of using public transport because his school journey fromY8 to 11 was by car. For sixth form it is a short and straightforward bus ride.

I’m impressed by how competent some of your DC are at managing public transport in busy cities. I may be mis-remembering AlexanderHamilton but does your DD have ASD? If so, it shows how different DC on the spectrum can be! Though the taking control and telling the teacher the best route did remind me of DS at primary when the class walked to swimming.

On the topic of ASD and school support for Oxbridge applications I would be aghast if the school didn’t support DS merely because of his diagnosis. It would also be discriminatory. And yes I would imagine that both Oxford and Cambridge have a higher than average percentage of student and staff on the spectrum.

On a side note I can recommend the JustPark app/website for parking spots when visiting unis. We’ve reserved a spot (a private driveway) about 15 minutes walk from the city centre (and only 5 mins from the masterclass) for £5.20 which is a bargain for Cambridge.

Yes she does have asd. She panics with buses though.

As a family we do travel by train a lot and visit London about twice a year. She also regularly gets the train to school and back.

Thank you everybody for reassuring me. It is one of those questions that has been lingering but you can't ask anybody. And whilst I know it is discriminatory to hold this against anybody in practise I didn't know what to think as you always read stories both ways where schools didn't support applicants. I think part of it is just coming to terms with a potential diagnosis so late on when she has been masking for so long and clearly suffering with MH issues as a result. Life has been derailed recently.

And DD too going for a masterclass not this weekend but the weekend after. I was planning to drive her in but need to check whether train would be a better option. Does Cambridge have a Park and ride?

I've just found this thread. It's brilliant.
DS2 has ASD and is looking at Cambridge. Went to one of the Sidgwick masterclasses at Cambridge last week and loved it. But then went to look around some colleges and completely froze, unable to ask or answer questions. It made me wonder what would happen if he seized up in interview. Would they set him at ease? He can't read people easily and in situations that mean a lot to him I think he imagines what others will say or do, then if they don't, he's thrown and dries up.
Does anyone know whether HSPS at Cambridge has an exam. DS2 seems to think it used to but doesn't any longer. I can't find the info on it.

Welcome OneStep! I’m guessing my DS was at the same Cambridge masterclass as yours.

There is an entry exam for HSPS, details and past papers etc are here
www.undergraduate.study.cam.ac.uk/courses/human-social-and-political-sciences#entry-requirements.

I wouldn’t worry about the interview. They are very used to setting nervous candidates at ease, and as pannetone said there are many students and staff who are on the spectrum so potential difficulties are well understood.

Thanks Shalom that was very informative.

DS is also off to a Cambridge masterclass soon, DH said we could easily walk from the train station (apparently its really close!!)......maybe he assumed we would be running!!

There is park and ride at Cambridge but when we used the one to the nw of the city we found it was actually easy to walk back to it from sidgewick area and walked past all the buses stuck in traffic at 5 pm. Did the same when went for interviews on that side of the city

Morning all. And a big welcome to OneStep!!!
It sounds like the taster days are working out well for everyone. Has anyone been put off courses/Unis by any they have attended?

eaglefly if your DD’s masterclass is also on the Sidgewick site on the 10th I think there are still a couple of parking spots on JustPark in the area we’re parking (a small road called Summerfield) - it’s only 5 minutes walk away. You can also cancel the spot and get a refund right up to the start time if your plans change.

DS1 was in Cambridge for 8 years but we never used the Park and Ride We used to find street spaces but that has got just about impossible over the years.

On a separate note I’d really encourage you to pursue an assessment for ASD for your DD eaglefly - mostly because putting a name to the difficulties helps in terms of self identity and self esteem. And also because it should help in terms of appropriate support and ‘reasonable adjustments’. (Although mental health issues in themselves obviously merit support as well). Unless you are going for a private diagnosis, there is a long wait on the NHS so I’d suggest starting the process now - you could withdraw if you changed your mind.

Been on the thread for a while, but not posted for ages and name change for this.
I discovered a few weeks ago that DS has been self harming. I had absolutely no idea that anything was wrong even and he says its been happening on and off for a year or 2! Feeling like a pretty useless mum! We have been to GP and have a CAMHS appointment coming up (but I'm not sure what that means). Meanwhile life is quite tense as DS feels I am monitoring him and he can't relax.

OneStep welcome! To add to Cherryburn’s comment about spectrum difficulties being well understood at Oxbridge, I’d add that I suspect they’re not really noticed!

Sorry to hear that abitofastate and I’m sure you’re not a useless mum. Issues like self harming are hard to spot and you’re doing the right thing seeking support now you’re aware.

I imagine the CAMHS initial appointment will be to see what sort of help your DS needs. I’ve had (a lot of!) contact with CAMHS over the years for 3 DC on the spectrum (and associated mental health issues) and the majority has been positive.

That's good to hear pannetone. You hear so many negative things about it! DS is hoping for a diagnosis. He has done a lot of reading and thinks he has bi-polar type 2. I have no idea.

Welcome and welcome back. Sorry to hear that abitofastate, I don't want to offer advise as every situation is different only to say it is very, very common and in no way a reflection of parenting, and our thoughts are with you.

I'm so sorry to read that, abitofataste.

FWIW, it doesn't make you a bad mum. Not even a tiny bit. It makes him good at hiding things, that's all.

The impulse to watch him carefully now is a totally normal, rational reaction too, but I can see how it could make things feel worse.

I have no advice, except get help and don't rest until you've got it.

Your poor DS.

Very early mother's day flowers for you

Can you DS say why he does it, abitofastate? Is he so unhappy that focusing on physical pain for a moment is a relief from how he feels about what's going on in his life? Is it tied up in friendship worries or in anxiety about his future brought on by GCSEs etc?

abitofastate really sorry to hear about your DS, but just to echo what everyone has said you are certainly not a bad mum and persevere with getting him help.