Year 12 #1 - GCSEs are sooo last year!

[bpisok]

New thread to see us through to Christmas?

Same here.

If students willingly sign up to that and can handle it, fair play

Dd is also pretty clear that she would not want to work at that level

whilst I hear you! We are having the same issues with time because of all the non A-Level related lessons, the enrichment stuff, etc. As you say it's all good, useful and making DS a more prepared and rounded person, but it means hardly any study periods (two periods have just been filled with another extra). So I know what you mean and I'm not surprised your DS is knackered. My DS also does about 10 hours of music from Monday to Friday and all day Saturday music school. This leaves only Sunday to catch up on all work. He has no time whatsoever to socialise. Fortunately for DS (like for Sandy's boy) he has had a few years of this at his school and seems to have developed ways to cope. He's still smiling. That's my barometer. When he stops smiling I worry.
Whilst my guess is your DS will have a better spring term. It takes some adapting. (The detention story makes me mad though.)

Also, the EPQ has turned out to be a massive amount of work. Anyone doing EPQ??

No EPQ here. 4 A Levels, sport and D of E is quite enough!

I think one of the things that enables DS1 to cope with everything he has to do is that he works very efficiently. He hasn't always been able to do that but he picked up the skill somewhere between mocks and GCSEs last year. So if he says he has an essay to write he just gets on with it.

At the same age I would have found all sorts of things to do before setting pen to paper. When DS1 works he really works. This wasn't always the case and I'm not sure quite how it happened. I'm hoping DS2 will make the same jump at some point. He can 'work' for hours with limited results.

Roll on Christmas for sleeping in and generally laziness!

It does concern me. Obsessive behaviour does occur in some people on the autistic spectrum, and he finds it difficult to cope when his schedule is interrupted.

Throughout Y11 he was similarly obsessed with writing a complete set of revision notes for his GCSE subjects. Thankfully he completed these a few days before the exams started, and during the exams he seemed comparatively relaxed.

He was seeing a community paediatrician about the ASD & ADHD, but now he is has turned 16 he will be seen by CAMHS for a couple of years. The first appointment with them is soon, so I will ask about the obsessiveness then.

@TheFirstOHN hearing about your DS makes me feel very protective of him. I've never met him but I want to give him a big hug (which I'm sure he'd hate) and introduce him to my DS. Is it weird to feel maternal towards DC you've never met?

whistl your ds does sound exhausted and I think the first term of 6th form or college is a huge adjustment - not just the workload but the expectations and all the extra curricular stuff. DS had an Occasional Day last week and slept most of it! A commute on top can feel like the last straw. In terms of helping him build resilience, could you try and help him make a list of what he's doing, what he can trim back, what would make life easier (? could the commute be easier or less stressful) and then help him schedule some regular down time? I send ds off swimming or to the gym when I see him a bit overwhelmed.

Peggy I'm shocked at your dd tutors response! I think it's pretty unprofessional actually and would be asking for a meeting. Hope your dd is ok

TheFirst your ds also does a lot of music - does that impact on how he feels about work and what he needs to do? Once the exam is oevr will that help him relax his schedule a bit? I hope you can get some good advice from CAMHS

Ha I feel the same Sandy. No EPQ here (involves words !). And a good point re efficiency - that was DD2. And she learnt to realise that sometimes good enough is enough when deadlines pile up.

Epq 'proper' starts next term.

Just thought of something- whistle what has your DC said about it all.
Is it just that you are worrying/noticing the change or is he actively saying that he is unhappy/not coping?
thefirst - yep, deep angst if I say you have done enough - stop .
They had a very interesting lesson about 'just enough'. They did a 15 minute test. Then did it again with 25 minutes (not having seen the marks of the identical 15 minute test) and it demonstrated that the additional time made very little difference to the result even though they had already seen the question and had more time. It did make a difference to those with SEN.
Spending an extra 50% time doesn't equal to 50% extra marks....learning technique makes a massive difference.
I thought that was interesting

EPQ doesn't start until next term.

Peggy has DD shown the response to her study support team? I would be fuming at that email and, even if the tutor was having a bad day, she has been unbelievably nasty. I would ask the study support team for advice on your DD'S next steps and let them know that you ate considering making an official complaint following their grievance procedure.

Whistl Does he actually need the AS level? How many hours does he have per subject each week? DD has (I think) 5 hours of lectures per subject, a couple of tutor sessions and a couple of extra curricular things. Tomorrow she finishes before midday. It does sound like a very intense schedule.

I'm on a two day Effective Learning course. I'll let you know if any of it can be transferred to year 12s.

Alex carols link please. I'm skulking in a hotel room & need something to perk hints up.

Kilash yes, the upcoming exam is a big pressure and the practice is an extra time commitment. Both DS2 and I will be very relieved when it's over and he can just play for enjoyment - no more music exams! 😊

I saw his clarinet teacher at one of last week's concerts and he pointed out that if DS2 postponed it until Easter he would probably get a distinction. Neither DS2 nor I care if he gets a distinction or a pass! What score he gets in his Grade 8 will have zero impact on his planned career as a physicist. He just wants to get the bloody thing over and done with!

sandybayley DS2 allows me to give him one hug per day. 😆

Since DS1 left for university, DS2 has generously allowed that I can have 1.3 (recurring) hugs per day to compensate for DS1's absence.

I'm singing in two large carol concerts this weekend at our nearest cathedral. We usually raise about £5K for charity. We're singing about 20 carols over the two concerts. Then I'm singing at a Christingle and a carol service at church, then going to DS2's carol service (he sings in the school choir) then jointly leading the music at church on Christmas morning. By the 25th I'm usually a bit carolled out.

TheFirst yes I agree - sometimes you know when it's the right time for an exam and I think although it has been a full on term, getting a G8 out of the way before other important exams is beneficial. Then music can be a relaxation and distraction from academic work. Ds has not touched the piano all week!

Stickerrocks unfortunately the EQ is mandatory, but luckily it is useful (DS enjoys it and may want to do this subject at university).

Kilash I could offer to tidy his files for him, but apart from that I don't think there is much that I can change. The commute is an hour each way door-to-door. Often it is longer as the train company is the one that gets disrupted if it does any of the following: rains, snows, leaves fall on the line or the sun shines. It also has regular strikes and suffers from over-running engineering works!

bpisok I asked DS about the detention and it was like pulling a thread. The whole story came out: he's unhappy, he's permanently tired, he's doubting his A level choices, he doesn't see the point of some of the compulsory enrichment and he's getting nothing out of it, he resents how few "frees" he has relative to the sixth formers at his old school etc. He looked really upset.

We spoke again later, and he was back to his usual self i.e. self-contained. I asked him how I can help and he replied that he'd just keep going and he'd manage.

I've been thinking today how I can help him. It seems that I will have to take DH's advice and leave DS to get on with it. I think DS would find it humiliating if I tried to speak to the school for him. But I am going to keep an eye on him and if the stress levels go up some more, then I will have to intervene. But if I do, then I have no idea what I can reasonably ask for.

I have EPQs on the brain! I meant to write:

Stickerrocks unfortunately the AS level is mandatory...

Gosh haven't been on for a while. Trying to catch up.

Echo everything said about taking it slowly returning. His health is so much more important and the rest will follow. I too know
Of a few who have done 3 year a levels and it is an option. Sending you hugs as it must be difficult.

Jufus sounds like things going well formsixth form. Wish your DD all the best for her upcoming operation.

Stick great to hear about the outreach programme.

Whistl sorry to hear about the struggles that DS is having. I know it's hard to stop the stuff that they love to do and that is adding to their development. However I do think there is a tipping point when it becomes about quality over quantity and too much just means that you end up not benefiting from it all. I don't mean to come across as telling you the obvious - I recognise this as DD is the same. She is passionate about learning and does too much and takes up every opportunity - and it has been at the expense of her mental health indirectly. I think we just need to be really careful and not wait till breaking point when you have to stop much more than if you had before. Sorry don't mean to be all doom and gloom but I have seen first hand really bright kids with the right work ethic seeming to be coping but really just barely managing. I do think an honest conversation between you and DS would help. If a lot of these are enrichment - are theyIoptional or are all compulsory. He should limit his activities to compulsory and those things that are really going to help/he really likes.

I find the whole detention thing remarkable. We are raising young adults here and fair enough detention for breaking serous school rules but for this seems ridiculous. I don't think the school is being fair or supportive. Is there anybody in the school that you or DS could talk to - set up a separate meeting for
This. I hope end of term Comes soon
And DS can get a well earned rest.

Peggy the tone of that email is something
Else. Really unsupportive and rude.

DD too at what would be considered a hothouse. And there are loads of opportunities and the pace can be relentless too but they are hard to it too. Even then a lot of stuff is optional and not compulsory.

EPQ here starting in earnest next term. It's just deciding topics at the moment.

TheFirst DD too now diagnosed with ASD and we are on a journey understanding what this means for her - she is very particular and fixed in ways of doing things.

Stick it would be good to hear about your course.

Whist sorry I can see things have moved on somewhat so feel free to ignore my post. It's good that DS could talk to you. That will have helped. Probably good to
Take the hols to regroup and reset. It has been a bit of a baptism of fire for a lot of DC this first term (mine included)

I've been pretending to be a difficult student!

There are 2 free quiz products called Socrative & Kahoot. If any of your DC like revising & working with others, they can set up online tests to quiz each other, where they have to write the questions for their chums to answer.

They were also encouraging us to get the students to explain the tricky topics to their mums, which could be the perfect thing for Whistles DS2 who is struggling with French to do.

Are we ready to move?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/further_education/3443840-Year-12-2-Carols-commutes-a-few-stocking-fillers

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