Class of '18 still nattering.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

forgot the old link hang on a mo...

I'm hearing a lot of complaining but he can't seem to stir himself to sort out any of the things that he's moaning about. It is very wearing being on the receiving end of a stream of negativity, it's only Monday and I've already had enough. My heart sinks whenever my phone pings.

We're racing towards the anniversary of my husband's death which I am doing my level best to ignore totally and I wonder if that's part of it. That, his totally inadequate diet and the fact that he's getting three hours less sleep a night.

DS was sick for two days last week, I was ill too. Both of us were feverish, he was throwing up and I had aching joints.

I feel a bit flat now DD has gone back. I knew I had her birthday visit and her coming home this weekend to look forward to, but now there isn't much on the horizon.

Hope you find the strength to listen to his negativity knitting. If you fancy a let me know.

could you go up and spend some time there? I don't think any of the normal rules apply about leaving them to fend for themselves, he probably doesn't feel he is allowed to feel happy and is worrying about you too. it would be so lovely if he was enjoying himself wouldn't it, it would be such a relief [sad Does he have any funny stories to tell about his flatmates yet? Is there anyone YOU can tell ds's complaints to? quite a few of my friends' children have been negative about their first weeks and I think it helped them to know their children weren't the only ones; there were all different reasons why it was hard, sometimes it was reasons beyond anyone's control, sometimes it was the wrong course, or the wrong uni, or the wrong attitude, or just the wrong time to be at uni. Another year and things were better placed to make that big leap.

I've had a not very good day either in my usual petty way.. B & Q was not the usual solace. I tried to buy a shower screen but it was too heavy to carry to the till. Then a horrible big supercar blocked me in, on the other side was a clean and shiny jaguar which was screaming to be scratched and I nearly did, which made me feel even more incompetent. grr someone in family is miserable and it is affecting everyone's mood. although dd did cheer me up by showing me a series of photos of me grimacing, like one of those warnings of what will happen if the wind changes and your face is stuck forever

Tomorrow I have sawing up the shower rod to look forward to.

Aw Knitting

DD apparently was a big hit with the boyfriend's flatmates, and they keep asking when she can go back and visit again.

Oh, and she has had another interview invitation.

Nettleskeins sorry you've had a bad day - lots of rudeness at work today so left feeling fed up and missing DD which I always do when I have a bad day at work. Consoled myself by buying a pair of trainers.

I am feeling a little guilty that I had hoped that DD had gone to university this year when so many of you are missing your DC.

Lonicera but I have lots of new shoes

Just had a chat with DS1.

Positives:
He has finally done some laundry (there was so much that it wouldn't fit into one of the huge machines and he had to do two loads).
He has made a couple of friends on his course.
He is still getting on well with his flatmates and has a good social life.

Negatives:
The lectures still feel a bit pointless in that he is not yet learning anything new.
He is still feeling a bit homesick.
He is completely exhausted. This is self-inflicted as he regularly stays up all night socialising and then attends lectures the following day.

Knittinganewme
Some of those things he can't control (anniversary) but some he can (not looking after himself properly).
If he is putting on a brave face in front of his new friends, it might be that you're the only person he can be honest with about the low points.
It must feel a bit relentless on your end though.

Knitting is this the first anniversary? Sorry I don’t know all of your story. But do Understand.

You see I lost my mum 2 months before going to Uni.

It is very difficult to be a grieving Fresher.

You are there aged 18 and see all these young people who seem to not have a care in the world and it can be hard to feel like the only one carrying such a difficult weight. He may be feeling resentful to some of them.

I felt so sad inside when I went off to Uni I could not let go and let my hair down and have fun the same way as others. Used to camp out in the Union loos whilst others danced. It felt wrong to be having a good time whilst you are deep in grief.

I am not expressing myself very well but can say it is tough tough tough to be 18 and just left home and to be grieving a parent.

I'm thinking again about the cultural norms for university life re: parents/children. In Ireland, most of the students go home at weekends, possibly to have four square meals and because it is cheaper that way? In Dublin most students are living with their parents as it is so expensive to live out, those that aren;t would be going home for definite at weekends. And I remember meeting a taxi driver in the Lakes who was telling me how his grandson doing chemistry at Newcastle would be given a batch of homemade freezer food every week cooked by doting grandparents so that he could get through the workload. Originally most university halls were catered, it is a new thing that first years have to cook all their own food and make friends, and turn up to lectures/do the course. I know you covered all this third but I suddenly remembered the taxi driver and his stories, and I thought how unlikely that I would even think to do such a thing, and possibly my assumption is would be wrong to send ds food parcels. when it isn;t wrong, just inconvenient from here and I cannot drive well enough..

x post Downey

We were due to visit Dc over half time, but he’s coming down to London for a training course. Consequently, no longer going now.

ah Knitting - hugs. (from a distance, I'm lurgified too - got a cold with a very tickly chest and feel pants)

Downey that sounds lonely.

So much about. dd has a cold and feeling rubbishy. Her work has started in earnest, but fortunately I think she really likes it.

I'm pretty blue at the moment, but mostly because so much bad stuff has happened recently and I think I'm crashing from it all. My long term health stuff is rearing it's head again and I'm in too much pain to sleep well.

So poor all of us, in our various ways.

We need a hot water bottle emoticon too.

Have been catching up on thread.
Best wishes knitting
and marmite hope treatment not too bad.
All those worried/sad about DC - hang on in there!
We've booked a hotel for 2 days in half term to be near and available for DD - want to make seperation gentle.
It's a tough time. Our DD is doing well but I hear fear and a few tears trickling now and again. It can be a bit overwhelming and intimidating

Best wishes to everyone going through a tough time just now .

When we went to see DD last week I took a homemade vegan nutloaf for her to slice and put in her freezer. She was a bit dismissive, complaining her freezer space was full. Had a rare message last night to tell me how much she'd appreciated the nutloaf over the last week. So yes, home food is appreciated.

I'm trying to remember how much I cooked when I was in halls. I dont think I did! I would eat at a small refectory at uni or in a little canteen that did great toasties for lunch, but I didn't cook until I shared a flat.
No wonder I stayed so skinny!!

Poor DS1 is unwell (the physical illness, not the mental health one). He has three lectures today so has decided to take the bus into campus and try to make it through the day.

Best wishes knitting.

the third I hope ds makes it through the day.

Lemsip and hot water bottles for dcs and parents who have various lurgies.

I think ds is going into one of his downward spirals. I am going to see him tomorrow and hope I can get him back on course.

Got a text from DD late last night with a photo of a lovely tidy room and telling me that she had cleaned her en suite and finally felt like an adult!

This morning she tells me that she slept. Yeah. Maybe the trip home for the weekend reset her clock, plus no late night carousing.

Hope everyone improves.

FT to DS at weekend revealed scar on face. Presumed rugby injury. Nope post rugby over indulgence injury. Had a chat about staying safe and reining it in a bit. He seemed to think things were calming down now, and only going out a couple of nights.
Sounds like most flatmates are fairly local and have been going home at weekends.
Always a lump in my throat when I say goodbye! Hopeless eh?

I bring good news - dd has a job! One of the p/t Christmas ones at a local shopping centre. She starts in a few days time.

catslife congratulations to your DD on the job!

Well done to your DD.