Class of '18 nervously waiting.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

They've left college, now we are trying not to think about a certain date.

she reckoned they should have a meet up and discuss the Mums!
😂

I was sitting next to an 18 year old recently whose mother was organising a big event..she was giving us details of the days plans (big group of people) he [18 year old] had his head in his hands and was muttering oh no, Instructions Again, will she Ever Stop... Tbh she did sound slightly over zealous but it gave me Pause For Thought..

DD is not doing Leeds this year. One less thing to worry about.

Nettleskeins my children's biggest bugbear about me is that I try to micromanage them.

My issue is that DS likes being managed, it gives him less to have to think about. I'm trying very hard to give him the room to make his own decisions, fail and redo but he's not showing any sign of leaping off on his own. He has no idea at all about money, if I told him that his grocery bill would be £200 a week he'd believe me. I think I was equally clueless at his age and I managed.

What’s every doing to prepare their dcs for uni/moving away from home?

I'm getting Dc1 to,cook two meals a week, which he’s enjoying, although not doing my diet any favours. We’ve had lasagne, potato/cheese/bacon bake, tagliatelle dish etc. He wants to do a roast at some point also.

What’s every doing to prepare their dcs for uni/moving away from home?

This will depend very much on the strengths/weaknesses of the young person.

DS1's strengths:

• Domestic skills: he can cook a few different meals, use a washing machine and a dryer, and do basic cleaning.
• Social skills on a 1:1 basis: he is very personable, can chat to anyone and makes friends easily.

DS1's areas for improvement:

• Personal organisation & admin: he needs to start using a diary/calendar and learn the art of making lists.
• Budgeting a whole term's worth of maintenance loan.
• Meal planning for more than one day at a time.

I'm hoping he'll be able to find an app for most of these.

DS is going to Leeds again this year. I don't think as many of his friends are this time around.

He is taking cooking lessons from my DM - I don't cook much. I think he just wants to learn how to make her sweet chilli chicken as that's all he ever wants to eat.

I also micromanage and am just imagining myself typing up lists and notes for him before he (fingers crossed) goes!

Just remembering back to when my sister left home for uni in London - she had two suitcases and a ticket for the National Express...

dd is cooking a few nights a week for us with some conversations and advice from me. It's all tailored around student budgets and around basics.

So tomorrow is spag bol (with a focus on the basics) bulked out with lentils then Friday she's going to learn how to make the rest into a sort of chilli. I'm also sending her out to do the shopping for meals she's making for us.

She's doing her own washing and helping around the house, something that was difficult to find the time for when she had long days.

Her nemesis is paperwork. Still need to work on that one. She'd rather pretend it doesn't exist.

You are so organised 😰

Only cos it's all stuff I ignored before that she should already know. It's like leaving home boot camp round here.

DD cooks a lot for herself anyway - she is vegan and though I cook for her sometimes, she often does her own thing. She will get a shock at the cost of some of the vegan alternatives though!

She has finally learnt how to put the washing machine on, something her younger brother managed a while ago.

I think though, the hard part of being responsible for yourself is fitting in the routine stuff. If you don't go shopping there will be nothing in for tea, and you need to factor in the time to get a wash through in the laundry.

Main thing she needs to learn is hearing the alarm and getting up!

DD can cook. And shop. Boy can she shop.

I think DD will have to have an old fashioned alarm clock at the other side of the room or I could phone her?

you are all depressing me rather.

I don't think ds has a single skill you have listed so far!!!

He certainly cannot do paperwork and as for meal planning, he can hardly fry an egg. This is not for want of me trying but from extreme resistance. He cannot ride a bike even..

He once booked a gig ticket. I think that is about it!! He can travel independently but doesn't choose to. He can hang up his suit. He can talk politely if pressed to converse. He can say please and thank you very nicely. He has opened a bank account this week.

I think he is looking forward to uni immensely precisely because it is his chance to learn just about everything It is no point him even contacting the SEN help because he won't ask for any help and won't use any of the adjustments (we have had four years of attempting to get him to engage in that and he hasn't, apart from a bit of extra time in exams)

However, I do have a sixth sense that he will manage his budget of 65 a week. If he can stay away from ready meals.

I love the idea of everyone phoning their dc each morning

We have put an alarm clock in the box.
When silicone covers arrived for her to cover her microwaving things today I did wonder if we'd gone a bit far.

I reckon the routine stuff will be a learning curve they need to sort for themselves.

Third I cannot even do half the things you've suggested! I don't understand apps for a start, and I never make lists except on the backs of envelopes in a therapeutic sort of way..

I think most people will end up with the skills of their parents, eventually..

dd utterly detests shopping, or spending her own money. I'm not worried about her budget, I'm more worried that she will decide that 8p supernoodles will be the way to go in order to minimise spend.

We do need to look at bank accounts again. Can they open them without their confirmed places?

I think if you have a UCAS offer that is enough?

But ds has an unconditional which is maybe why he was able to open it? Barclays 500 overdraft. Our local branch. I would have preferred it if he had opened it in the city of his uni as there is a bank on campus and that would have been SO cool, but I suppose it makes no difference with technology where the actual branch is. He chose the bank we have an account at already.

I'm actually quite fed up with him this evening as he gave his 18th birthday present Wagamama Gift card to dd on the basis that he didn't really like noodles!!!! Aaargh. It was to invite people out when he was at uni, let alone a sustaining meal ticket!!!

OYBBK - DS tried to open a student account with his bank at the start of the summer but was told they need a confirmation of their place before they can open one.

I reckon it must be because he has an unconditional. Argh on the gift card being given away though.

It seems quite tight for time after. Might get dd to do some research and make an appt for after results day.

I've purchased some bits of stationary as I couldn't hold out an longer. And some Assam tea.

ursula you do have taste

Assam Tea
dd did drag me into a tea shop today for a tea tasting. Then we nearly went into Tiger before I reminded her we were supposed to be buying a dress for her.
No dress was purchased.