grrr Ursula, but it sounds like he was going to do something rash anyway whatever, at least he didn't throw your dd, the most important thing of all! I'm sure it cheered her up getting angry and letting tension spill forth 
well ds1 is still continuing suspiciously calm and dithery and asking what is for supper in a cheery manner. sigh.
Bekabeech that is a such a blessed relief to have made the decision, I think this year is such a pressured one, it is difficult to think clearly until you stop and then ....there is so many other wonderful ways to go forward. Teachers only know what they know they are trained to teach A levels not life choices, it is difficult for them to give proper advice and open up those different possiblities.
My friend's daughter detached herself from A levels nearly at the end of the course and at first it was a case of oh you should have done them anyway, but then after a bit of time she started rethinking her plans, got a job, and it never felt like a missed opportunity (not taking the Alevels)more like a weight that had been lifted. No failure just postponement. Light returning to a dark oppressive place that had been her sense of anxiety during the exams.
everyone has different ways of getting through.