Christmas half term - Year 13 (another original thread title!)

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

Carrying on from previous thread

I'm so rubbish with thread titles. Anyway...

This time last year there was lots of chat about tests/exams/mocks at this point. Are there fewer of them, or is everyone more chilled about them?

My ds with ASD is in his second year at a university quite a way from home. He has had his struggles but has (so far) coped. Good support was essential. He was and is in halls in a quiet flat which means that there isn't much social interaction which suits him fine.
I have had to put in quite a bit of support myself too but as far as daily living goes he has managed better this year. He loves his course on the whole but still gets into trouble manage work load and modules he finds more difficult.

Nohaud my daughter also has ASD. She has offers from a number of RG unis. When you say 'quiet flat ' is this something designated by the uni accommodation service or somewhere you found yourself?

No his university has designated quiet flats. You can request one when you make your accommodation application. As far as I know you don't have to have a relevant disability to access one but you are given priority if you do.
When we were visiting universities they all had this quiet accommodation provision but some mentioned it up front and at others you had to ask. There are some universities that have whole quiet residences.
Most universities also have alcohol free flats which can be useful if your dd doesn't drink. (DS's flat is also alcohol free).
It is worth asking the universities where she has offers what their provision is. I would ask both accommodation and disability services.
If she is known to disability services she will also be prioritised for on campus accommodation or an ensuite room or anything else that might help.

Love the idea of alcohol free flats, dd doesn’t drink and isn’t interested in being around people who drink.

We’ve started looking at student finance, the maintenance loan just isn’t going to cover her accommodation costs. It will be ok with some careful budgeting, but for those of you with more than one dc at uni it must be a nightmare.

That will possibly be me OYBBK. Still no idea how it is going to pan out eventually, but DD is now on her third PS draft and last night finalised her five choices. Of course, she threw in a curveball and picked a couple of different unis to those she had been considering, one (Durham) that she wouldn't go and visit as she had no interest in going there!

She is hoping to submit before the end of term. This is such a turn round from 3 weeks ago I'm amazed. End of term is the 20th for her so she has a little longer than most schools.

In terms of finance she is going to need much more support than DS1. He doesn't get maximum loan but is at a northern uni that is not expensive compared to most, and doesn't have expensive hobbies or drink really.

I emailed ds's teacher today and asked if the school would consider raising ds's predicted grade in main subject from C to a B. I feel like a bit of a fool, but I suppose when you reach rock bottom you have no dignity to lose! If he doesn't make the grade, well they have not lost face because no-one applies to uni to do his particular subject from that school (ie it is not Engineering)

I thought if ds was incentivized by a high offer from a good uni, it might take him to his insurance grade

Why did they not discuss his predicted grades with us at any point in this process I do feel like I have been beating my head against a brick wall during this entire second year apropos the UCAS process.

raspberry ds seems to have had same last minute change of heart, so much more motivated suddenly about his plans. A bit late though in his case.

The finance is really creeping me out tbh, this sort of expenditure to do a second rate course...well...if that is what it comes to, I am just going to refuse to finance it/support him getting a loan.

There's a bona-fide (ie real Oxford college) college in Oxford that only takes people over 21. In madder moment I was thinking this might be a good carrot for all three children. work for three years (we could run a garden maintenance business together when they were not travelling/working), metamorphise into geniuses hardworking serious people and then go to Oxford...and I won't have to think about Finance till then

Oxford (and Cambridge) can be a more economical choice than other Unis. They have a lot of in College accommodation and usually only charge "while you are there", which can work out a lot better. Some colleges have quite a lot of sources of additional help. And although you can't work in term the vacations are longer.

Dd1s firm choice has SC accommodation at around half the loan. She’s worked out cheap meals and I’ve pointed her at megabus for cheap travel home. She’s pretty sensible with money though so I’m not expecting to top her up massively.

Ds has started going to bed a bit earlier. This is such a relief. I heard from friend that this is possible (ds informed me it was quite impossible to go to bed earlier than midnight) as her son goes up to his room at 9, reads and falls asleep at 10.30 to catch an early bus next morning.

He admitted to me he felt much much more alert as a result of having 7 and half hours sleep instead of 6 and half. It is still too little though

We take the twins' phones away now at 9.30 because online distractions are such a problem, but it is difficult to deal with a 17 year old who claims he is just finishing his homework

Fascinated to hear of alcohol free accommodation. How does that work then?

maybe they have key entry systems opened by breathalyzers

I suppose like having welsh speaking accommodation (saw that option in Cardiff)...self selecting really..

Gosh - it all sounds a bit ................ partisan.

I always imagine uni to be a bit of a melting pot where you meet people from all different walks of life with different viewpoints.

I know we self selected in the second year by moving into rented accommodation with friends, but the first year in halls was a real eye opener.

I just want a quick moan.

DD has had offers from three out of her five choices. DD has applied for a subject that does not traditionally interview, though one of her choices interviews everyone. DD is currently off school for three days of interviews at somewhere I'm not even sure she wants to go to, but wanted to apply to IYSWIM. All her expenses are covered whilst she is there, but obviously we had to get her there and back. Three days off school though.

Two of the three offers she has had have insisted on interviews. Bloody miles away (acceptable if travelling for a whole term, not so much for a twenty minute interview in my mind). Both of those she has done already said she would definitely get an offer, but it might vary after the interview. An unconditional isn't friggin unconditional if it is only unconditional if you chose them as firm. Another two days off school.

The place we think she wants to go to most, managed to give her an offer without meeting her, though we did attend the open day. A lovely weekend in my favourite city. Expensive though.

Now the last one to get back to her has just sent an invitation for a visit day. Attendance "will be viewed favourably". But most of the dates are after offers will be out, so can't affect the offer. We have already visited for an open day, and had a two hour one to one meeting with one of the two admissions tutors during our summer holiday. All of these visit days are on Saturdays but will necessitate another overnight (possibly two).

How much money do they expect us all to spend so that they can do the bloody "pick me" nonsense. How on earth do DC cope if parents either can't afford to or are just unwilling to, keep forking out like this.

I know the answers by the way. This truly is just a rant. Vent. Vent. Vent.

Gosh that sounds very excessive. Are you at liberty to say what the course is? DD has received invitations to the offer holder days and is gaily booking onto them but they fall around mocks and all are Saturdays which means she won't be able to do her job. Fortunately none are more than a couple of hours away but it seems a lot of time away form work and/or studying.

It is Chemistry Ursula. Really not a subject famous for needing to grill the students on their opinions beforehand. I think she has just been unlucky - generally it is not a subject that they interview for. Just those places she has applied to.

I guess the problem with alcohol is that it seems to be acceptable to take it to extreme drunkenness which would be pretty miserable if you end up in amongst a group who disturb you night after night with loud very drunken parties. I had a problem like that in my final year and it was a bit of a nightmare. I have no idea how common it is though in reality.

I have no idea where dd is at with open days. Must try and remember to ask her.

A friend's DD is in her second year. All the photos seem to be of one long drunken party.

Dd has booked one offer holder day which will mean two days of school, but I think will be worth it as we will explore accommodation and disability support at the same time. Still waiting to hear from her other choice but apparently Scottish universities take ages.

With the alcohol-free option, it is self-selecting. It seemed that about half of ds's flat had probably made that choice for religious reasons. They can drink outside the flat if they want but can't drink or store alcohol in the flat and being roaring drunk is also not permitted.
I think it is a good option. If you don't drink at all or very little being around frequently drunk and noisy people is miserable.

That is interesting. Is it self-policing then?

I am not sure why DD is booking on all Offer Holder days. I wish she would make her bloody mind up as to her top 2.

Dd1 is looking at quiet flats as she’s not a drinker.alcohol is allowed but loud parties etc isn’t.

Is anyone's DC looking at degree apprenticeships? DD's friend has found a company that will not only employ them and therefore pay them a salary, they will pay all fees for the degree and pay for books. So you come out at the end with a degree, no debt and work experience (and probably a job). Seems a no brainer to me.

I wish. DD was thinking of engineering and a possible apprenticeship but a shit teacher turned her off.

oh no, that's terrible Ursula.

I've noticed that most apprenticeships are not really aimed at humanities subjects though; now if there was a archaeology apprenticeship or a conservation apprenticeship or even a music teacher apprenticeship.. Ds was interested in a SKY apprenticeship as there was information about that at school, but it would be for people who are already incredibly motivated and technically astute/media savvy. In his case I feel the whole point of uni would be to broaden his mind, and he could get the job skills doing a more conventional job in the holidays, like working in a supermarket or BBQ. Still, everyone in my family seems to be self employed/very small companies so I suppose I don't really know about the world of industry.

Dh started his working life as an apprentice and has been very successful in his field, but this was in Germany where apprenticeships are higher level training, almost like polytechnics in their scope but with job placement as part of it. He cannot find any equivalent course for our dcs in UK, and unfortunately they don't speak German!