What happens when a disabled foster child ages out of foster care?

[K37529]

Our foster son is currently 12. He has ASD and severe mobility issues. He is currently under LAC and we have a kinship social worker, but happens when he turns 18? His mobility issues have become more severe as he has grown and I’m coming to the realisation that he is probably going to need lifelong care.

I can’t understand why they would want to fight you on adoption. This surely would be the best thing for him? I definitely think it would worth enquiring further on this and not giving up. SS can and will still be involved throughout the process of adoption so it’s not as if they would be blocked completely. Has there been any concerns from them about his placement with you

if you put in an adoption order they cannot move the child whilst it goes through the court process . The judge will want an independent assessment done and make a decision in the child's best interests. That is how it works.
The social workers cannot oppose adoption on disability grounds. My adopted child cannot move at all, needs oxygen and bipap.to breathe has complex seizures, is double incontinent , needs deep suction and is reliant for every single need. . He is non verbal and our house is fully adapted with lifts, hoists, etc etc.
You are able to.apply for an adoption order if your child has been with you over the legal.required time ( 26 weeks I think ) and the judge will decide what is in your lads best interests.
The only thing you can't do.is ask for financial.suport if you.choise that route.

I am not saying you should go that road but the social.workers are talking nonsense saying that you.cannot adopt due to complex disabilities.

I would speak to your sw about long term planning. I worked with a family who as good as adopted (never formally but she changed her last name to theirs by deed poll on turning 18) their dd who had very complex needs and severe trauma and they devoted their lives to caring for her even after she aged out she just kept living with them. The problem came when their health deteriorated and her behaviours were still at times difficult to manage and she still needed a lot of support and suddenly they were in crisis trying to source her supported accommodation and external support and get her emotionally and practically ready to be able to move into somewhere like that. I'd been encouraging them to look into it years prior but they (understandably) really struggled with the idea of it. But had that happened earlier it could have been a more supported and paced process and the young person would have had more entitlements. By delaying they inadvertently did themselves out of a lot of help and it was distressing for everyone when they couldn't manage anymore. So I'd just say keep it in mind when you're advocating for them, and that you can still be a huge source of support and very involved but it's much better to be looking at options early so you can take your time with it.

Also it may depend where in the UK you live as where I am, long term foster places are encouraged to go past 18/21 especially for young people with complex needs/circumstances and we have a designated team especially for this.

I’m not really sure how it all works. We were told adoption wasn't an option, and i didn’t push for it anyway because we need the support of social workers. They did mention residency but then they said no because they said we would need their support and residency is similar to adoption. He is LAC and has been with us for 6 years which has been fine for us so far.

Also does your child have an independent guardian who looks out for their interests in the legal landscape? If so that might also be a good person to talk to for advice and clarity.

I think it’s to do with the decisions being made about his care rather than his actual needs. If you know what I mean, he has had two surgery’s since moving in with us and needs more and it’s social workers who sign consent. Also they said this to us when he first came to live with us so possibly could be different now. I don’t think adoption would be right for us anyway because we really do need the help of social workers, so I didn’t even question it when they said it.

I suppose the big question would be, adoption or not, are you happy to take on your nephew for the rest of his life regardless of what he needs healthwise? I just always knew I wanted DB with me, no matter what. It didn’t matter what issues arose, I wanted him to live with me.

No concerns that I’m aware of, as I’ve said we were told adoption wasn’t an option. This was when he first came to live with us and I never questioned it as we like having the support of social workers. Also his mum was still alive then so I would imagine they would have wanted to see if a return to her would have been possible and she has only recently passed.

Supported Living type schemes eg they live in a shared house with 24/7 carers

fair enough . Though of course if you adopt you will have PR and then you can sign up.until they are 18 . After that you need a legal framework as social services ( adult or childrens ) wont have PR then either. Many people don't know that. It gets v messy on their 18th birthday if the child lacks capacity.
And I have to say that post 18 support has been dreadful so far ( 2 yrs in ) for us. It is increasingly hard to get support no matter what in my experience.
Anyway sounding like the voice of doom niw so I will shut up good luck with whatever you decide. x

I think you've possibly mixed up the issues because it is all so complicated. He will have his LAC social workers because he's a LAC. But if you were to pursue adoption and the LAC social workers pulled out because he was no longer a LAC, he would still qualify for social workers under the children with disabilities team. The difference is that once you adopt him, your fostering allowance would stop.

In all honesty it gets messy before 18 really. DD1 has complex needs and when we were looking at potential tube feeding at 15 I was told that the hospital would seek a court order to sanction it because even though we all felt she didn't have capacity, they needed to cover themselves.

Its people like you in the country that should be awarded an OBE. Not footballers for kicking a ball, not singers for singing songs. You are amazing as everyone else is , who also fosters these children. You really are something special. Thank you 💐