hi all,
First off, apologies, cause I have posted this on lone parents, but there have been developments, and I cant work out if what I'm about to do counts as a monumental f* up or not, any advice welcome.
Basically, I have an amazing, stunning 11 week old daughter from a 3 month, non serious relationship with a guy currently serving with the Royal Anglians.
The crux of my problem is that at the moment he isnt actually aware that my little girl exists. This is mainly for several reasons:
I didnt find out I was pregnant till I was 21 weeks-HUGE shock well after we'd gone our separate ways.
I couldnt just do the normal thing and ring him cause I'd had my bag nicked with my phone in it (at that point i didnt think i'd ever have need to contact this guy again)
Because it wasnt a serious relationship I only have a vague idea of where his mum etc lives (ie their street) and didnt fancy that route personally
Anyway, after i'd had about a week to come to terms with the pregnancy, I set about trying to contact my ex through the army. My local army recruitment office were frankly (and honestly no offence meant to anyone here connected in any way with army recruitment)total wanking knobheads. They were deliberately unhelpful, rude, tried to put me off contacting this number saying that it might affect my ex's career (at this point I didnt want to potentially aggravate the situation by going all official).
Well, it got to 3 weeks before my due date and I was still no nearer contacting this guy, and an old family friend suggested I try this online padre service that the Army operates, cause it wouldnt affect his career, the padres are discreet, etc. So I did, and the padre was amazing, helpful, didnt judge, etc etc. But before I could email him back with my ex's name and birthday (i dont know his regimental number) I went into labour, and had DD.
Since then, things have been pretty mad, and I just put it to back of my mind, thinking that the situation would magically resolve itself. Last week, I realised that it wouldnt, so i emailed the padre back, and he said that he was in iraq with one of the 2 R anglian battalians, and he would see if my ex was out there, and he emailed me back today, and said that no he wasnt in Iraq, so he has now emailed the 1st battalian's padre, who will apparently be in contact shortly, to see how best to proceed.
WHEW- if you've not all fallen asleep halfway through that...........
do you think i'm doing the right thing contacting him, or should i remove my request via the 1st battalian's padre, and hope he contacts me eventually????
And do you think that the padre was the right way of going about things, or will my ex want to kill me now??????