If this is any help, I stayed put and DH moved about. Its been hard being apart, but I kept my job, the kids go to the village school, and we have our own house, one we have lived in for a long time, and plan to grow old in. On the plus side he hasn't been posted more than 2.5 hours away so he has always come home weekends etc, and most of the time he has worked on the camp 3 miles away - which makes up for the frequent deployments.
Anyway its another option. It meant I had to work after we had children, as his salary isn't enough for our commitments, but I have been able to go part time and now also have annualised hours (all the school holidays off).
And now he gets out after 22 years this year, we have our house etc, me and the kids are civvies, its only DH that will have the adjustment.
If he had gone abroad I would have rented our house out and gone with, but we have been lucky in that his postings were reasonably close. Mind you when he was due to go to Scotland (we are on the south coast) we had decided that he would go alone and just try to get home as often as poss.
I am not sure if living apart is the right or wrong thing to do, its been really hard sometimes (when pregnant, with toddler, working, and had SPD so had to go up and downstairs on hands and knees I did not enjoy it!!) but now we are at the tail end of his forces career I am glad we did it this way. But it's an option.
Also if you look at big companies, ie IBM, if you work for them and get relocated, they won't blink if you ask to work from a different location as everyone works all over the works already. If you check out some of the large multinationals, you may find one that suits. A number of friends who are married to the forces regularly go with DH on postings, including overseas and just carry on with the company.
Good luck