What jobs suit Army Officers wives????

[Wifey1]

A simple question here:

What jobs can Army Officers wives successfully hold down despite all the joyous compromises which come from marrying an officer???

I keep hearing that teaching is a popular choice, any advances on this

Sorry, didn't mean to sound quite so snippy - it's just I was a bit taken aback to be characterised like that.

damn - ive been suckered into the army thread now.

the answer is any job is suitable. Its your husband that is the officer. not you.
its just you he has married and that doesnt make you better or worse than any other woman who has married a soldier.

i find it crazy in this day and age that people still put rank above everything.. and the women than do this are crazy!!

All wifes of soliders, or navy or whatever have problems with jobs. Its difficult when you are moving around the whole time.

I was managing a reasonable career ( and earning more than my then husband) for a good few years. Temping or short term contracts are good ways into large companies... then you get a chance to prove yourself.. plus your not so much of a risk to employ as they know you will be leaving within 2 years.

Postings outside the uk... forget it. you are just lucky to get ANY job. You dont get to chose and its just deadmans shoes. i ended up working in the education centre, which was one of the better jobs. i was working alongside a majors wife, captins wife, and sappers wife. it didnt matter. we are just 'us'

tookool yes any job is suitable but not every job is do-able.

I was a civil servant before having dd and the last dept I worked for only had 9 offices nationally. Fine if we had been living near each regional office but not easy in Germany or Somerset or Wiltshire - where there were none.

Even having started my own business, I had to train and then wait until we moved so as to allow myself 2 yrs stability. And now, I'm going to do a midwifery, I have to wait for another 2 years because

a) there is no uni doing the course near where I'll be
b) DH's job is such that he will need me to support him a lot and
c) We won't be there for 3 year which is the duration of uni degree.

So I have to forego a whole degree, which will be make me 36 at the earliest to do the degree. I would have much preferred to do it now but we will have to move after 2 years - pants!

You're right when you say about doing temping etc but if you have a longer term career like a vet for example, you can't just up and leave every two years.

oh - yes. i know that.

Tbh the only people who i know in what, 15 or so years who have managed to keep hold of a 'career' as opposed to a 'job' are people that have transferable skills such as hairdressers, or childminders.. or one friend had a property company she owned in london... and then just worked from home.

saying that, i do know several people who got nursing degrees. ( they started them straight on posting.. and the next posting was also near..)

If we are totally honest.. not many jobs are actually 'do able' not really. not once you have had children, especially if you are outside the uk. lack of childcare is a huge issue.

Civvie companies are understand to start with, the first 6 years or so of you moving about... but when your cv starts getting longer than novel... then they dont want to know.

Plus there is the huge amount of support you quite often need to give your partner. and time off for various things that doesnt go well with civvie jobs.

mpsw sorry didn't mean to offend, but the COs wife here has come right out and stated that "it is not the posting we wanted, it is not where I want to live, the wives in Btn are nasty and unfriendly so I am not moving" and has stayed where she is. I then wonder why I as an outsider (my DH works 30 mins away but there were no houses there) am being looked on strangely, especially given there are only 3 officer houses. If the COs wife thinks the place is cliquey then I have no chance.

Please do not feel that I am "rankist" ladies.

I only narrowed the topic down because I felt it might be prudent but I am more than happy to be referred to as "Army wife", "Mobile wife" or plain old "Wench".

Please keep the advice coming though as there was some really helpful and wise stuff coming through, even the motherly advise to me to drop the "Officers" bit was appreciated.

Perhaps someone can start another thread for people to debate over whether their husband's rank matters or not.

Rephrasing the question though: If someone is at the point to choose any career path to pursue but knows they will have to move regularly due to the husband, what should they do?

And could any of the Civil Servants who have posted specify their roles if possible please?

**
WheresThePimms lady: Your child need not worry over A level choices atall. Anthropology is not a wishy washy degree but if your child is interested in it, presumably they have a broad base of interests spanning from sciences to humanities and good grades in any A levels are fine. Your child should choose to study what interests them, not what they think they have to do - then the degree choice follows naturally.

Anthropology is the most scientific of humanities and the most human of the sciences. I chose English, Biology, Chemistry, Government & Politics. I flunked Chemistry and did best at the English and Biology. I then went and worked overseas for 2 years as a Yacht Stewardess, effectively being a food-serving, toilet-cleaning servant, but being paid enough to put myself through university and gaining valuable lessons and friends along the way.

Anthropology attracts a diverse bunch of people interested in humans and cultural differences, Social Anthropology focuses on cultural groups and is close to Sociology, Biological Anthropology uses archaeological and fossil evidence to trace human ancestry all the way back to primates, and involves the study of primates. Most universities specialise in one or the other, but Oxford Brookes University offers both.

I chose Chemistry A level because I thought it would serve me well even though I had always struggled with it, but if I chose again I would stick only to the things I love and am genuinely interested in.

Its great that your child is interested in Anthropology and also check out whether it has become an A level yet, as I think it was being pushed for.

All the Best.

wheresthepimms apologies for my huuuuuuuuuuge section on Anthropology, just re-read your post to see you only wanted to know if it was history or Biology based. Its both.
:)

Yes - I can tell you that I worked for DEFRA and then GO East.

However, the civil service aren't taking on new employees over the next two years (think I'm right in saying that) so wouldn't hold out much hope there.

Luckily, when I left uni, I applied to DEFRA (at a level much under my degree level so as I could live with DH) but I absolutely loved it! I then got promoted and moved offices when he was posted.

Then when they were closing our office, I luckily got transferred to GO (government office in the regions) in the same county. Then went on mat leave, then left the civil service.

Depending on your dept, it's an okay job for mobilty but unlike 10/15 yrs ago when there were many offices nationwide, the civil service is trying to get most of its admin done online (reducing need for as many staff) and also amalgamating depts to reduce offices therefore less resource wastage.

I think if I were going to choose a career now on marrying a person in the forces, it'd be nursing or teaching. Jobs which are truly mobile as long as there are available jobs -which there usually are and are a great flexible choice once you've had kids.

Wifey Consider FCO, HMRC, Security Services etc. Try
www.civilservice.gov.uk/jobs/

Wil be back later. Have to walk the Lab, polish my shooting stick et al.

Oh - that's funny (not haha). I went onto the site (I think it was that site hf?) before xmas and it said they weren't employing anyone due to the job freeze.

Has it all changed then? Or do you reckon they're really only hiring internally?

There is a freeze on civil service recruiting at the moment although in certain cases if they cannot fill posts with those civil servants already in the system/wanting transfers a few do go out into the public domain, but a very strong case has to be made.

Even internally, its bloody hard for me to get a job in my new area. At my grade, only 1 job has come up that I meet the required qualifications and competences for in the last 7 months. I have been on unpaid leave (to accompany a service spouse) for 3 1/2 years now, the maximum is 4. I have to return to my old place of work or resign.........times are tough!

If I had my time again, like Vintageteacups, I would have thought about teaching or nursing. You can always get some agency work with those skills.

'even the motherly advise to me to drop the "Officers" bit was appreciated. '

Do you just open your mouth to change feet? You go in with an attitude like that and you won't get far at all. From what I know of the other posters on this thread we are for the most part well educated and informed women who have been in your position and are trying to help you. Some of us found being married to someone in the Forces less strange as we had grown up with it. I wasn't being 'motherly', I was trying to be polite, but I won't bother next time. I don't do 'motherly' - ask my teenager.

You pays your money and you takes your choice with a career. I stayed put for 20 years and we did sea time / weekended for my career and ds's education. It got to the point that I didn't want to play any more, so I moved abroad. I could teach here, but I don't like the school much, so wouldn't want to work there, and they don't teach my subject. I also can't earn too much as it would affect duty free privileges.

It depends on what you want to do. I wouldn't want to teach in a different LEA every couple of years as it wouldn't look good on the CV; Local Govt isn't always amenable to transfers, so you are left with free lancing I suppose of one sort or another. As I said, a Lt-Cols wife out here had her own businedd teaching Pilates, and she made enough to cover some of the school fees, so she did well, but she worked bloody hard. Another Cols wife teaches full time here, but she wants to stay in Belgium as no jobs going in her part of the UK, so no point going back.

Nursing is OK, my sil has just got a job in Hants after working in Devon, but couldn't get anything in Cyprus, so it depends what is going where.

The best idea would be to have your own business on line. Sell clothes, import/export, organise Visa's etc etc. There are hundreds of ideas - depending on the local market.

As I asked it depends on what motivates you.

wifey you can't control the direction a thread takes any more than you can control your future DH's career path/postings. If you're going to ask questions about whether the fact you'll be an officer's wife matters then you open up a whole can of worms, part of which do have to do with your professional situation. I can't comment on British Forces but here no officer's wife would become a childminder, for example.

If I were choosing again I still wouldn't pick on the basis of DH's career. Nothing is 100% sure, even highly transferrable skills have their downsides and tbh mobility is a pretty crap reason to go into either teaching or nursing, both of which can turn out to be eminently non-transferrable anyway.

How long do you have to train/get established in your career? For example teaching you'd need to get onto a PGCE course, for which I imagine you've just missed the deadline for this cycle for secondary so count a year on hold in there, and a year to do the PGCE, and an NQT year. Nursing is now, I believe, a degree course, so 3 years long and you may or may not have missed the NMAS application deadline.

Civil service just got a lot less mobile too as offices are being closed and centralised so things like the DWP which used to operate on a local level are becoming regional.

As I meantioned in a previous post PR is quite transferrable - my DH's mother has almost always managed to find work and even teleworked from Tahiti for a Paris based office.

What do you want to do?

snap why wouldn't officers' wives do childminding where you are? Because of the mobility and re-registering in new county do you mean?

Well my immediate suggestion is join the TA but actually I suspect that doesn't fit as you can't commit when DH is away on Ex/OPs. I say that at an ex regular & 17 years in TA which I have just given up as couldn't juggle TA commitment with a DH working abroad for 6 weeks/home for 2 (as a "civi" in a hot, dusty & dangerous country).

thanks Vintage!!

Snap I hang my head in shame as an Officers wife and a childminder :P I have moved to 4 times in 6 years and found my JOB very rewarding and easy to transfer, I had to re-register when I moved from Scotland to England...........

or do you mean we are not worthy? ha

wifey1 - the other issue about not telling people from the off that your dh is an army officer is one of security.

Even in the seemingly safe state of affairs in the UK now, it's not wise to put/tell your dh's job/rank/title on paperwork/facebook/to strangers anyway.

The only time we would tell companies/people about dh's job/rank is when we're applying for things like car insurance/census etc when it actually matters and even then, it's mostly a case of putting HM Forces.

You really don't want to be telling anyone your husband's job if you can help it. Dh, only the other day, had a briefing about security and not publishing pics of the kids on facebook and giving away details about what you do willy nilly.

pimms not offence! No, really, more surprise, and actually a reminder that what's blazingly obvious from where I am is completely opaque to others. I'm now wondering what his lot did make of the absent wife ..... (And with what you said she said, I'm sure she's not me!)

hf I'm not so sure about the OGDs with an overseas presence - they run their own postings plots, and it's often by internal competition these days anyhow. The chances of a posting being available in the right place at the right time are pretty slim in the first place, and they won't be allowed to prioritise you for personal reason. They will however give SUPL pretty freely whilst you trail.

I have always been able to take priority for moving locations 'on a spouse following spouse' basis. I have been incredibly lucky though with being in the right place at the right time with incredibly supportive management. My job is specialised

Now I must be honest and say we are putting roots down where we are - bought a house etc. DH and I will be working in town at the same time for the next 3 years. After that who knows - but I can see us staying put for the next 8 years. By then I hope dh will be at least a 1 star! And then I can run a hotel by the sea.

Anyone worried about he forthcoming redundancies?

Not too worried about the redundancies as dh within 3 years of retiring so hopefully won't be touched. He is job hunting in the meantime though. More worried about the £400+ per month cut to LOA. Ouch!

Scary Have you had a definite cut in LOA then? What % is that?

Cos we're not HM Forces, therefore not in Britain, and CMs here have a bad rep, as in no qualifications, not professional, take in other people's kids and neglect them for cash etc. In the UK a CM is regarded as being reasonably professional. You're registered with OFSTED (or the Welsh/Scottish equivalent), you follow the EYFS etc., you undertake training - trust me it's nowhere near the same setup!

I suggested I might CM as I can't teach in state schools here and was gently advised that it wouldn't be the Done Thing. All to do with the relative professional status I suppose.

One can (optionally) register as a CM but even if you're registered it's still low-status, low-pay and therefore presumably not what officers wives 'should' be doing. 20 years cultural difference.... At least. Children, Church and Canapés are the main approved occupations and as for the idea that I might dare to go back to work in September, well that took some getting over. But then I am strange and foreign

About 33% from 01 May. Worse for Married Unaccompanieds, they are losing £700+ per month (double ouch). I'm only cross because we live on the LOA mostly and only top it up a small bit (saving for uni fees!!).

Another big difference here I suppose is that my actions, and therefore my career, have much more impact on DH than it seems they would in the UK. Whether your spouse is seen as supportive or not is a major factor once you climb higher up the greasy pole. If you aren't married, you won't make Admiral (unless you're widowed).

I sold my soul and work PT for them instead. Can't get more supportive and involved than that - it's a BOGOF deal.