What jobs suit Army Officers wives????

[Wifey1]

A simple question here:

What jobs can Army Officers wives successfully hold down despite all the joyous compromises which come from marrying an officer???

I keep hearing that teaching is a popular choice, any advances on this

I've just decided to do another degree but still I have to wait as our next posting will only be 2 yrs. It's so annoying that I can't apply to a uni that isn't OU.

I think many wives would love to retrain but short postings make it difficult.

I am an admin temp and just try to get accounts work as we go along. It can be difficult though.

You could change this thread to what job suits an army officers wife that gives enough vacation time so that you can have time off when your DCs are home from their boarding schools so as not to further neglect them

Hi everyone,

The thread concerns officer's wives as that's what I will end up being soon enough and I was looking for some helpful advice.

Thank you all for your suggestions and please keep them coming.

Jobs specifically that Officer's wives can do are what I'm after, especially for women who get moved alot, perhaps even to Nepal.

My current experience is of hospitality and PR and I have a degree in Anthropology, so I'm pretty versatile (but young).

So, more suggestions on jobs/careers which can be pursued by very mobile wifeys please...

It doesn't matter what rank/rate your dh is; he is the one with the rank, not you. A Forces wife can do whatever job she wants/is qualified for, but will have to accept that there are constraints to do with mobility.

A little word of advice for you, as an RN officers daughter, wife and sister (have been doing this therefore for 45 years), lose the 'officer's wife' bit; it won't help you win friends and influence people. The poster who asked why is it an Officers wife thread is married I think to a senior army officer......unless you are marrying a Brigadier or above, then listen to what she says! She is a mobile wife and a civil servant.

I know a couple of wives who have accompanied their spouses to nepal but none of them worked whilst there.

I also agree with the 'officer's wife' thing - you'll find it easier to blend in and make good friends if you don't mention that bit as soon as you meet someone .

Mmm I'm not British Forces but here there are definitely careers which are suitable for Officers Wives (the capitals are implied) and those which would be frowned on....for example teaching is fine, childminding would not be. But then that says a lot about the relative status of teachers and CMs in this country as well.

Childbearing seems to go down well.

More practically hospitality/PR consultancy may not be a bad path to follow but if you're young you may not have enough contacts/enough of a rep. to consolidate? Event planning?

Is your DH in a branch where international moves are extremely likely? If so then be wary of anything which requires state registration as it will, 90% of the time, not be transferable. Teaching is great if you're near an international school but you won't automatically be able to teach in the state sector.

If you speak other languages then translation/interpreting. I've also done copy-editing/proofreading from home.

Oh and beware visa issues with international moves. A friend's DH has just been posted to the US so she won't be able to work, even though her job is highly transferrable.

Congratulations on the forthcoming nuptials!

I was going to suggest you take a peek at GBAP for a Tongue in cheek look at what jobs are "appropriate" for Officers' Wives. Actually, though the book does have its moments, the other posters are right about the trailing spouse's lives being rank blind.

I held down a serious office-based job for many years - it's meant a lot of separations. If you want/have a career, that's a scenario to think about; you'll find many doing the same thing.

If you want to be portable, then look at options for being free-lance (often only works if you're established in a field, or are prepared for very irregular work). You need to think about whether you want an income, or a useful occupation too.

Things like illustration (if you have a talent) travel very well, as might anything web-based. Crafty things like jewellery-making and dress making do so too. As does selling services (including on the patch), like pilates instructor, child-minder, catering, cake-decorating.

Nursing and teaching are good, because you might find opportunities in the voluntary sector when overseas, and ESOL teaching can work very well.

Do not however become a sex-line operative - that coukd be just a teensy bit difficult for DH if anyone recognised your voice!

More seriously, do not overlook volunteering for organisations like SSAFA - it keeps your CV going, and gives skills that are very useful for transferring to elsewhere in the sector at other times. If you get the chance to learn Nepalese, then there are whole rafts of Gurkha welfare roles who would welcome you.

Do you want to work for self-fulfilment or money? What motivates you?

Have been reading this with interest (and namechanged to post)! Snap when we were posted to the US the Embassy suggested we apply for a work permit as this would assist when getting driving licence etc processed. This also meant that the visa was not my only form of ID and the drivers licence was certainly easier to obtain in the state we were living. However, beware as every state is very different. It took about 8 weeks to process from start to finish but it was pretty much hassle free, unusual as they are a very bureaucratic country.

As you say, it really does depend on what your qualifications are. They certainly don't recognise UK nursing quals as I know someone who is now living there and has had to retrain.

I'm fortunate that my IT job is transferable and I have always worked from home (15yrs). I worked whilst we were in the States but the time difference between there and the UK was a killer if meetings were scheduled for the morning in the UK!

You also need to be careful on how much you earn. For instance, where we are, I would not have been able to work full time without giving up the duty free concessions that we got as part of the SOFA agreement with the host nation.

May I just ask what is wrong with saying officer's wife? Just curious!

It's wrong if you're a) ignoring all the other types of trailing spouse or b) perpetuating a wrong and outdated stereotype of an officer's wife.

There's a book, published in 1980s called "With Gumboots and Pearls" which is a tongue in cheek about how to be an officer's wife. I mentioned it in my earlier post, and judging by her post hf must also have read it. If you don't know it's a piss-take, then you will see the stereotype there.

OP has said she was using it as it describes her circumstances. That's OK, once explained.

Wifey1: guessing from your post, your DH-des is something to do with the Brigade of Gurkhas. This does mean a slightly different community as many of the soldiers wives may not speak good English. This doesn't however stop you from trying any work that fits the trailing spouse description, and might open up additional ESOL or welfare roles, though they may be unpaid.

And might increase your wardrobe, as the British officers are second only to Booties for cross-dressing!

Nothing is wrong with saying officer's wife .

It's just that sometimes, in certain situations, it can sound precocious, especially if living in a mixed quarter area.

Many a time have I walked off camp (where only officer's families live) to be started at and ignored.

Once, I auditioned for a camp amdram production and got a main part. Everyone was very lovely and I was getting on fine until one lady, who worked on camp, told everyone that I was Captain (insert name)'s wife.
After that, some of the people who were really chatty before, only spoke to me when they had to. I was the only officer's wife there and it spoilt it.

That said, I have met lots of lovely ladies who I became life long friends with who were not officer's wives; it's not everyone who will judge but some will.
I like to get on with everyone and it makes no difference who they are and what rank their dh is but I wouldn't go around saying "hi, I'm the wife of...." intentionally.

I am proud of my dh and proud of him for working so hard to achieve his current rank but even he, never discloses it outside of work unless really necessary (ie, with the school when they're being crap).

One of the nicest compliments I have ever been paid was by a deputy head for whom I worked, when he asked what my dh did. Naval Cdr was my reply. He looked at me in shock and then said I was the most uncommanders wife-like commanders wife he had ever met. From that he meant I wasn't snobbish; I'd talk to anyone and wasn't afraid to get my hands dirty. I do wear pearls at times though!

Iwouldnot - the blokes are in the Service, not the wives, so it should not make a difference what rank/rate the husband is, the wives are civilians, and thus equal.

I'd agree if you go round saying my DH is so and so you will only annoy people. I once had a friend (well I thought she was) who came round my house (having not realised I was an Officers wife) sat in my kitchen having a cup of tea to say "wow my whole house would fit in your kitchen, it's so unfair you get a bigger house" finsihed her tea then went home and blanked me for the rest of the posting. I hadn't been an army wife long and was horrified, especially as at the time having moved from my own home I couldn't get my beloved kitchen table in the kitchen and was ready to cry at the fact that it was sat in the garage :)

Now when people ask me how I have such a big house I say "oh we lucked out got a house above entitlement", we live on a mixed patch with our house being one of 3 officers houses, the others are all a 10 minute drive away, so I pretend to be an LE wife just so people will talk to me !!!

I'm so envious of properly mixed patches. Here they had the brilliant idea if leasing civilian accommodation (2 apartment blocks) and coincidentally putting officers in one block and NCOs in the other. Not a comfortable mix when you can be chatting in the shared parking area and then head off to your little ghetto. The flats are exactly the same though so I really don't get why they had to separate it out.

snap it can kind of get like that. The ghetto thing made me giggle but you're not wrong.

I've only lived on one totally integrated mixed patch and the houses were all of simialr size and quite new so from the house perspective, it didn't make much difference. However, it was a tri force posting so that's where it all got a bit clique-e. There are pros and cons to all postings - you just have to make the best of it and try to be friendly with everyone.

I think people forget that in 'civvie' street, people are rarely that close to their neighbours as forces families. They literally say hi as they walk past and that can be it.

Whoops - veered off OP - sorry.

Off the point now but wifey1 what A levels did you do to get onto your anthropology course? Only curious as for the last 3 years my DS 7 has been saying he wants to be an anthropologist, I was impressed that at the age of 4 he knew the word let alone what one is. He wants to be like Bones from the tv. Is it more history or biology orientated?

Oh and snap our integrated patch is like a ghetto too, I picked a kid up in the play park on Saturday who had fallen off his scooter (after riding it down the slide) and I think broken his arm. I had to brave the ghetto to carry him home to his lovely mum who was at noon still nursing the hangover from the day before and the man (who I wrongly assumed to be dad, oopps he is in Kenya) said the kid would be fine stop worrying and slammed the door in my face!!! Nothing going on here,move along

It's just so frustrating. I'm expecting DC1 and there's a girl my age, who I have lots in common with, also expecting DC1 about a month behind me and one who's just had DC1 (I think 3 months ago) but because I live in the Officers' building we don't really get to be friends. I've tried suggesting we meet up for coffee whilst on ML or go to an aquanatal class but they sort of shuffle feet and make excuses. Which is odd because we got on just fine at church until the one who's still pregnant saw me in the car park of our building and there was this really awkward moment where she was expecting me to go into the other building and it suddenly became really clear :(

But then I think culturally there's a good 20+ years difference in some ways between attitudes in the Forces here and the UK, doubly so because we're technically overseas. Maybe if/when we get back to Brest or Toulon it'll be different?!

snap it can be different, my bf here is a Cpl wife and we have been friends due to walking to school and our boys being in the same class. Once you have DC it will get easier, especially once they start school (a long way off now I know) and they have friends and you meet their mums. I feel for you, we live in the only house on the road so everyone knows what rank my DH is, even the little 4 year olds at nursery notice it but my DD is so popular (not sure why as she is bossy and bites a lot) that we get along. Also helps once you go to mums and tots etc. Being abroad never helps, the army abroad is a good 20 years behind the army in the UK, would never hear of the COs wife not coming with him as she doesn't like the patch abroad (unlike here)

On the other hand, the CO's wife might just be not accompanying in Uk because she is staying put for a) her job and b) to give her non-boarding children a bit longer in the same school. Or at least, that's why I did it.

It's different for overseas postings because of the different travelling time and complexity. It's the same issues for all of us.