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Forces sweethearts

If you have a family member in the Royal Navy, RAF or army, find support from other Mumsnetters here.

The military shouldn't have children

103 replies

scaryteacher · 16/03/2011 22:26

...current boarding thread on AIBU - someone has just suggested that the military shouldn't have kids. Come and help!

OP posts:
herbietea · 17/03/2011 19:06

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goodbyemrschips · 17/03/2011 19:07

herb.....but that is the point of a discussion forum is it not?

To discuss.

Georgimama · 17/03/2011 19:07

I had children for the child benefit. We are going to lose it soon due to income being too high. I may sell DS on ebay.

scottishmummy · 17/03/2011 19:09

mn bashes everyone,everything at any given point. thats nature of online bibble babble

and if it genuinely affects maybe get better at abstraction,it isnt real.isnt a fairly arrived at appraisal of you or your individual circumstances,it is someone else subjective opinion.not a searing truthful insight

herbietea · 17/03/2011 19:10

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goodbyemrschips · 17/03/2011 19:11

herb ....fine line....some are more sesitive than others.

some even cry.

goodbyemrschips · 17/03/2011 19:11

sensitive

littlepigshavebigears · 17/03/2011 19:12

I think bashing is fine too

as long as it isn't with real truncheons

Of course there are lots of people who have strong negative views about the military and about boarding schools. Those views are valid. You can't just tell them to shut up. Either argue your own views, or go and do some shoe shopping or something

townmousenotcountrymouse · 17/03/2011 19:12

But that the problem, sometimes it isn't a discussion, with the opinions of other taken on board and considered and a valid response given. Some posters Wink just stick with their uniform prejudices and just keep banging away repeating themselves and not reading the replies.

scottishmummy · 17/03/2011 19:13

but thats nature of strongly held pov.to one person its statement of fact,to another is perceived as unfair bashing.

only got to look at ff and bf thread to see some serious bashing and aggro Angrywee humphy faces

townmousenotcountrymouse · 17/03/2011 19:13

uninformed not uniform !!! Shock

townmousenotcountrymouse · 17/03/2011 19:16

I think the problem for me is when posters keep stating something that isn't true and persist in doing so despite someone in the know giving the facts.

Oh well, some people are just not big enough to say they hadn't considered that..... What would MN be without uniformed prejudice?Grin

littlepigshavebigears · 17/03/2011 19:17

you've typed "uniformed" there townandcountrymouse

you seem to be having trouble with your uniformed prejudices

good old Freud Grin

townmousenotcountrymouse · 17/03/2011 19:17

blimey done it again - obviously got uniforms on the brain for some reason....

townmousenotcountrymouse · 17/03/2011 19:18

Grin quite, Little pigs!

TandB · 17/03/2011 20:05

Just sticking my head in to say sorry you guys took such a bashing on that thread. I would imagine that the vast majority of normal, well-balanced people recognise the sterling, necessary job done by the forces, and that they can only do the difficult jobs they do with the wholehearted support of their families. What no-one appears to be prepared to recognise is that military roles are jobs like no other and if the taxpayer begrudges that little bit of financial support (presumably miniscule when set against the defence budget generally) needed to ensure that their families have the necessary support and stability, then I am embarrassed for this country.

My cousins were forces kids and they boarded in separate schools. They both had positive experiences and enjoy a strong relationship with their parents and with each other. I consider myself very fortunate to have had the opportunities I was given by boarding school, and grateful to my grandparents for putting their own wishes aside and letting me go.

I don't expect everyone to agree with boarding school, but I have been pretty shocked by the level of vitriol and spite directed at families of boarders generally, and military families particularly.

I have sat on my hands since bowing out of that thread. Unfortunately that thread has, for some reason, attracted that fatal mix of deliberate sniping and people whipping each other up into a mild case of hysteria that spells the death of any reasonable discussion. Scaryteacher has spoken a good deal of sense and I would hope that anyone reading the thread will take her well-balanced views away and reject out of hand those comments along the lines of the one in the thread title.

I wish you and your families all well.

jcscot · 18/03/2011 11:57

I feeling slightly sensitive about it all today (and I don't even have kids in boarding school!). We heard last night that my husband (whom we haven't seen for three and a half weeks) has had his two weeks' leave cancelled as the bunker has gone on to 24hr manning.

Bloody Gaddafi!

scaryteacher · 18/03/2011 14:37

dh at work til 2145 last night - busy here too!

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jcscot · 18/03/2011 15:29

He's hopeful of getting home for a few days at the beginning of the week, but then he'll have to go back down - they're pretty busy as I'm sure you can appreciate!

scaryteacher · 18/03/2011 16:16

They are working here all weekend too.

OP posts:
goodbyemrschips · 18/03/2011 16:24

Oh dear they are working all weekend.......is that not what they are paid to do?

jcscot · 18/03/2011 16:48

Well does your husband do a job where he works for three and a half weeks straight without a single day off, starting at 7am and finishing at 10 pm (on average)? Is that what my husband is paid to do?

Technically, no. At a normal operating tempo, he should work around 8-10hrs per day, five days a week. In reality, he works around 11-14 hrs a day six days a week (excpet when he makes it home for a weekend). What does your husband do?

Given the current situation, it is not surprising that he's working all weekend. I am merely trying to manage my children's disappointment that Daddy is not able to have the two week's leave that he should be entitled to because of the current political situation.

This is the reality of living life as prescribed by the non-Forces people on that boarding school thread - where we live apart and where I stay at home and raise the children.

goodbyemrschips · 18/03/2011 18:10

My OH does not do that no, but he made choices when we had a child and they all revovlve around him.

Nobody makes anybody sign up, I know a lot of friends [lads] signed up when I left school [1984] and then were totally shocked at having to go to war in Iraq..They thought it would be an easy life travelling the world.

If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen.

I bet you gey paid bloody well.

Lollybrolly · 18/03/2011 18:14

PMSL at goodbyemrschips comments!!

You have just cheered me up (also having just been told DH leave is cancelled)!! Thank you. Grin

jcscot · 18/03/2011 18:15

My husband joined prior to 9/11 and we have made the choice for him to stay - it's a good career and I make no apology for that.

Was I actually complaining? Or is that I am not allowed to come on to the Service wives part of MN to bemoan the fact that my husband's leave has been curtailed?

Sometimes we wives just want to let off a bit of steam amongst other people who know what it's like.

And, yes, my husband is paid rather well (and, when he goes to Afghanistan later this year, the tax-free bonus and the pay rise his acting promotion will bring will come in handy for a new kitchen).

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